by Lisa Lace
“I was hoping that moving out of state would give me the chance to do that, yes. I’d never really been able to before.”
“What do you mean?”
“Victor was relentless, and never wanted to let me go. When I broke things off with him, he didn’t get upset, he got angry. Like I’d insulted him. Like I’d embarrassed him. Like he couldn’t believe that someone like me would dare end things with someone like him.” I let out a low, bitter laugh. “He never thought all that much of me.”
Nate lifted my chin with his hand to raise my eyes to his and then spoke with utter conviction. “He was wrong. You’re an incredible woman.”
I felt my skin flush the way it always did when Nate spoke to me like that; intimately. Whenever he spoke to me with tenderness in his voice, it took what we had to a new level, where my body not only ached for him, but it felt like my very heart was beating for him too.
I squeezed his hand. “Thanks.”
“He must have been something, then, to make you come this far just to get away from him?”
“I skipped from place to place in Johnstone, trying to shrug him off, but he always caught up with me, and every time I had to start from scratch. I thought that if I came here, maybe it would be enough to shake him off for good.”
“You know I would never hurt you, right?”
I smiled softly. “I know that.”
“And if your ex ever shows up here, I’ll be right here for you.”
“You’re not scared off by all my baggage?”
“No.”
I leaned forward and kissed him. It was tender; real. I pressed my lips against his softly and let the moment linger, the softness between us building, my palm resting on his jaw. I felt years of bitterness and sorrow streaming from me, and everything angry and overwhelming inside me was stilled in that one perfect moment of closeness.
Nate was silent as he positioned his arms under me and lifted me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt breathless as he carried me effortlessly to the bedroom. His whole body was solid and strong. I felt completely safe; as light as a feather in his arms.
In the bedroom, Nate closed the door behind us and pulled the drapes. He flicked the switch on a bedside lamp and turned the light down low until the room was lit by a soft glow. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for him.
He came to me, still silent. No words were necessary when our eyes caught, and our spark spoke for us. We were quiet, knowing Harriet was close by.
Nate came to stand in front of me, then slowly lowered himself to sit beside me on the bed. He reached up and pulled my cardigan away from my arms. He slipped the straps of my dress from my shoulders. I reached behind myself and pulled down the zip of my sundress. The material fell away to expose my silky black bra.
Lifting himself slightly, Nate pressed his lips against mine as he reached around behind my back to unstrap the clasp. I slipped it off. When Nate drew back, my breasts were bare, silhouetted by the gentle light of the lamp.
Nate’s hands ran over my skin, his thumbs brushing against my nipples softly. He raised his mouth to close his lips around one nipple and gently rolled his tongue around it. I tilted my head back and sighed, feeling my hair brushing against my bare spine.
I ran my fingers through the hair at the back of Nate’s neck and kissed his head. He lifted himself onto the mattress on top of me, peeling away the rest of my sundress as he did. I pulled off my own panties and dropped them over the side of the bed.
There I was, completely bare on the bed, Nate above me. I stayed silent and breathless as I watched his eyes roam over every inch of my naked skin. He pulled off his shirt, and I drew in a sharp breath of desire when I saw his broad shoulders and rippling muscles emerge. He unbuttoned his pants and let them fall too, followed by his briefs.
I repositioned myself on the mattress, my head now on the pillow. Wordless, a heavy glance was all I needed to offer to invite Nate towards me. He moved over me, above me; skin to skin. I ran a thumb down the length of his hard shaft and felt my body pulsate in anticipation.
Nate’s gaze didn’t leave mine when he entered me. The first stroke into me was slow but deep. I let out a soft moan at the sensation and clasped at Nate’s shoulders. He moved into me again, filling me completely.
Soon, I was riding Nate; just as slow, just as deliberate, drawing out the sensuality in each motion.
While I was straddling Nate, rocking against him, he lifted himself and wrapped his arms around me, taking me by surprise with a kiss that was deeper and more urgent. I wrapped my legs around him; he was still deep inside me.
We began to kiss fervently, passionately, growing breathless. My hands ran over Nate’s broad shoulders, my palms running up and down his spine. I rocked into him, feeling his thick shaft moving inside me with each motion.
He placed one hand on the back of my head to fix me in another deep kiss, and the other on my tailbone to push me towards him. I felt the sensation of an orgasm beginning to appear; still so new and overwhelming. My instinct was to draw back from a pleasure that was almost too intense, but Nate held me in place and pushed my pelvis down as he thrust into me.
So deep, so perfect. The sensation built; Nate pressed into me again. I threw my head back and began to gasp. Nate’s hands moved to my upper back; his head lowered into my chest. He began to suck on my breasts. My desire rose as his palm traveled to the base of my spine to press me deeper against him.
The orgasm built up inside me, tingling and electrifying. Finally, it crashed over me, and I stifled a loud cry, burying my face in Nate’s shoulder and gasping as he began to pound into me harder, knowing that I was past the brink. He pushed a thumb against my clitoris as I rocked to push me even further into ecstasy.
Then, Nate came. He let out a low growl of pleasure and furiously kissed me as he finished. He caught my eye and smiled at me. I felt my own smile grow, and I moved to cuddle against him as soon as he rolled away, his arms ready to hold me close.
Chapter Seventeen
Nate
My eyes ran up and down the length of Jenna’s bare legs, to the curve of her behind just peeking out from underneath the curved hem of my shirt as she tied her hair up. She saw me watching her and gave a little wiggle. I laughed.
I was still lying in bed, feeling completely content. Every time I looked at Jenna, that feeling of contentment grew. She was one amazing woman; sexy as hell. I was beginning to learn just how much more than that lay beneath the surface, though.
Last night, Jenna had told me about her ex. After we’d made love, we’d talked into the early hours of the morning, and I’d learned even more about the violent, destructive relationship she’d escaped. I guessed Jenna had kept it from me for so long because she’d worried I’d run a mile, knowing that she came with emotional baggage.
She was wrong. I admired the hell out of her for what she’d been through and what she’d survived. After all her ex had put her through, Jenna was still standing, and stronger than ever. After being put through hell by that man, Jenna had somehow found the courage and the strength to pick herself up and move to a new state and a new job, completely on her own. On top of that, she’d not let any of her suffering dampen her spirits or keep her from pursuing her dreams. She was still determined to finish her studies and qualify as a preschool teacher.
I admired Jenna’s optimism and defiant spirit. That took a kind of inner strength and grit that not all women had.
I felt honored that she trusted me. I couldn’t believe that it was easy for her to start over again in a new relationship after how the last one had hurt her, but she was giving me a chance. I felt fiercely protective of her; determined that I would never hurt her.
“What are you thinking about, dreamer?”
“Hmm?”
I lifted my eyes to see that Jenna had finished getting dressed back into her sundress from the day before and was looking at me with a smile. “You look a million miles away.”
“Just thinking about last
night.”
Jenna’s smile widened, and she jumped onto the bed beside me and crawled across the mattress to my side. I pulled her into my arms.
“It was wonderful, wasn’t it?” She leaned back into my chest with a dreamy smile. “I guess I better get home now, though.”
“Really? Are you sure? Because I promised Harriet I’d take her to feed the ducks today, and I know that if Miss Dawson came with us, she’d be over the moon.”
Jenna laughed and thought for a moment. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I think you should come along.”
She grinned. “All right.”
“Well, you hide out in the kitchen, and I’ll go get ready.”
Jenna laughed. “I won’t tell Harriet I stayed the night.”
Jenna went to the kitchen while I got ready and got Harriet washed and dressed.
“Hey, Harri, I said Miss Dawson could come over for breakfast this morning. That OK?”
Harriet grinned from ear to ear. I smiled. I knew that Harriet liked Jenna a lot, and that meant a lot to me. It was important that Harriet liked whoever I was dating. At least, I assumed we were dating now. I hoped we were dating.
“Miss Dawson!”
Harriet rushed into the kitchen with a big grin and a lot of energy, wanting to show Jenna her pretty pink breakfast bowl with the butterflies on. I took my eyes off her for a moment while I turned to put the coffee maker on, and the next thing I heard was the sound of plastic tearing and cereal hitting the ground.
I turned around to see that Harriet had exploded another bag of cereal. I sighed and put my hand on my hip. “Harri! I thought you were gonna let Daddy open those from now on?”
“Oops.”
I was trying to give Harriet my stern father look, but I couldn’t keep a straight face because I could see Jenna hiding a giggle. “I’ll help her clear it up.”
“Thanks, Jenna.”
Jenna asked Harriet where the dustpan and broom were, and Jenna cleared away the mess while I finished coffee. I loved that she jumped right into the little daily dramas that came with a four-year-old. She took it all in stride and seemed to love every moment.
After breakfast, we went out to feed the ducks at the local pond. It wasn’t too far from my house, so we walked there. Usually, Harriet took my hand whenever we went out somewhere, but this time she grabbed Jenna’s. After the moment of surprise passed, I smiled. It mattered to me that my daughter liked Jenna, and it was clear to me that Jenna liked Harriet. She didn’t hesitate to hold her little hand and crouch down to talk to her with warmth and excitement, saying something that was sending Harriet into fits of giggles.
We walked as a little trio through the main street and then down the little pass that led to the pond. It wasn’t anywhere impressive, but it was one of Harriet’s favorite places to go. It didn’t matter what time of year you went; rain or snow, there were always ducks about, waiting for toddlers with fistfuls of crumbs to come and feed them.
As soon as Harriet caught sight of the water, she let go of Jenna’s hand and raced ahead, as I called out to her not to get too close to the pond.
“Have you ever thought about having them?” I asked Jenna. I nodded towards Harriet who was running ahead and picking every flower she could find. “You know, kids?”
Jenna smiled. “Sure. I love children! I’m only twenty-nine. So, I hope so.”
We continued walking. Jenna was great with Harriet, as always. She took the time to crouch down and “ooh” and “aah” over every little twig and feather that Harriet picked up to show her, and Harriet adored the attention.
“Have you invited your sister to visit with her kids yet?”
Jenna shook her head. “I wouldn’t dare.”
“What do you mean?”
She sighed and gave a sad shrug. “I don’t trust Victor. Knowing him, he’s probably got eyes on Charlotte’s house, or he’s tailing her or tracking her car license or something like that. Abusing his position.”
“That’s gotta be illegal. He can’t do that.”
“You don’t know Victor.”
“I can’t believe that he’d track your sister across state lines just to find you.”
“You have no idea. He doesn’t like to hear ‘no’ from anyone. Least of all me. He figured he’d tied me down and that I’d never leave. He took it for granted that I’d just be there forever. I don’t think his ego can accept that I’d go looking for better.”
“Even if he did find you, I’d never let him hurt you.”
Jenna looked over at me with a soft smile. “Thanks, Nate, but I’m not looking for a hero. You don’t have to save me. My baggage is my own, and if Victor does show up, I’ll handle it somehow.”
My thoughts were churning with questions about Victor and wondering what I would really do if he ever showed up here and tried to destroy the sanctuary that Jenna had built for herself. When I looked at Jenna, I felt like I’d go to the ends of the earth for her. Yet she was straight with me that she wasn’t looking for someone to fix all her problems for her.
Once again, I felt a huge amount of respect for Jenna. Even when she was afraid, and knew that danger might come calling, she wanted to face it standing. She was a very strong woman.
“Maybe you should go to Kacey’s group. Do you think it would help?”
A little guilty smile crept onto Jenna’s face, and she looked up at me knowingly. “I’ve actually been going there for a few weeks now.”
“Really? Kacey didn’t say a word!”
“I asked her not to.”
“Did you think I’d run if I knew?”
Jenna shook her head. “I just wasn’t ready to share that part of my life with you then. Kacey’s been great though. You’re right about her. She’s been a godsend.”
“She’s great at helping people through hard times. She probably knows what you’re going through better than anyone.”
“Her ex was a heroin addict, she said.”
“That’s right. A real junkie.” I shook my head at the memory. “It was so hard to help her, too. She was love-struck and blind to the reality of what he was doing to her.”
Jenna looked terrified on Kacey’s behalf. “Was he… hurting her?” She tentatively asked the question. I could tell that she didn’t want to overstep any mark by asking.
I nodded. “She was only nineteen, and he was her first love. A drummer in a band. I don’t think she realized how wrong what he was doing was. I think she was too starstruck by the band life and that rockstar image he gave off. She idolized him; she’d forgive him for anything.”
Jenna shook her head sadly, twisting the hem of her cardigan in her hands.
I continued. “We all tried talking sense into her at the time, but she was in love and didn’t want to hear it. She only saw what she wanted to see.” I kicked at a stone on the path. “I thought about threatening him at the time. I thought about telling him to back off and leave her alone, but I knew that Kacey was smart. She’d know straight away it was me, and if she was mad at me, she might never let me help her. I worried she’d take off and elope with him or something like that, just to get us all off her back.”
I sighed and turned to Jenna. She was listening attentively, her eyes wide, her lips just slightly parted. I glanced ahead to check that Harriet hadn’t gone too far, and then carried on.
“He was really treating her badly. It started off with him just not caring about how he hurt her. He’d stand her up because something better had come along or he was too stoned to remember they had plans. Then he started stealing from her to feed his habit, and just say he’d borrowed the cash for cigarettes. To us, it was obvious what was going on, but Kacey would just believe every story he’d feed her. It was when she started to have bruises every time we saw her that we all said enough is enough. We all told her that we loved her and didn’t want to see her getting hurt. It took a while, but eventually, she broke down. Deep down, I guess she’d always known that he wasn’t good for he
r, but she loved him too much to leave.”
“She was lucky to have you all.” Jenna looked up at the tree branches above us with slightly glazed eyes. I could tell her mind was somewhere else. She sighed. “My family used to tell me how bad Victor was for me, but I never listened. I’d told myself for so long that he loved me. I had to believe he loved me. The truth was just too ugly to accept.”
I reached out and took Jenna’s hand, squeezing tightly. “You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be loved.”
And, as I looked at her, I knew that I was a man who could love her. In fact, I knew that love was already in me for her. Jenna was a warm, caring, nurturing person who didn’t have a selfish bone in her body. I wanted to give her the world.
Jenna didn’t say anything more, but she took hold of my arm and walked closer to me. Harriet danced ahead of us, exploring and showing us the treasures she was collecting.
I think Marie would have approved of Jenna. Marie would have wanted me to date someone who was kind to Harriet and who made me happy. She would have wanted me to love again. When I looked at Jenna, I knew that I was falling in love.
Chapter Eighteen
Jenna
“Tonight? Sure—I guess I’m free!”
I exited my apartment and headed out the building onto the street. I started walking towards the town, my cell held to my ear.
Nate was on the line. “They want to go to Sixes. It’s a bar in Fort Wayne.”
“Ooh! A big night out. What kind of bar is it?”
“A cocktail bar, I think. Not my thing, but I guess it’s Carla’s vibe.”
“Oh, Sixes! I remember now. It’s new. Yeah, Carla’s been going on about it for days. Apparently, she knows someone who works there. She’s really excited about going there. It sounds fun!”
I could picture Nate making a face. “Sam and I aren’t really cocktail kind of guys.”
“Oh, lighten up! It’ll be fun! You can wear a nice suit. I’ll wear a nice dress…”
“Oh yeah?” Nate’s voice lifted on the end of the line. I could almost hear the smile on his face. “What kind of dress will that be?”
