by Mina Thorne
"Why? Did I hurt you?" he asked and dropped onto one elbow so his face was close to mine. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I get so fucking carried away sometimes, I can't control it."
"It's not exactly that...it's my...well, my first time," I replied quietly.
He was quiet for a moment and then he said, "Fucking hell, why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought you knew."
“You never really said anything,” he said as he went serious and quiet.
“You never asked I guess.”
I felt his dick twitch inside me and suddenly he grinned. "So seriously nobody else?"
"Nobody," I said and shook my head. "Not even a finger. Nothing."
"Wow. I'm....fuck...honored."
He slowed down after that though, taking the time to kiss me gently and get me relaxed before he started to move inside of me again.
He stayed low too, pressed against me so our bodies moved rhythmically together instead of clashing like we were fighting. We rode the waves to shore, one after the other, with our fingers entwined and our lips touching, our tongues swirling, and our bodies joined in pure ecstasy.
Until finally I crashed upon the beach in my mind, my orgasm becoming so great that I couldn't contain it any longer.
I cried out and burst into a million pieces on the shore, each one as bright and brilliantly pleasurable as the next.
Barrett had managed to hold on until then, but when he saw me come, he released his own orgasm, his body almost drawing back like a bow until he let the string go.
He exploded inside me, I could feel him pulse over and over as I clenched my core and desperately tried to milk every last drop out of him.
And then he collapsed on top me, we disposed of the condom, and wrapped ourselves in each other’s arms under his covers.
And fell asleep like that, snoozing in the afternoon together.
After making sure the door was locked, of course.
Chapter 34
I had to sneak out before dinner, before anyone found out
It was ridiculous, we had our post sex cuddle and then I jerked awake in a panic.
"I have to go, Dad would kill me if he found us like this," I said and searched the bedding to gather my torn panties while I clutched my shirt together.
"I think you mean he'd kill me," Barrett chuckled and curled his arm around me, dragging me back against him. He kissed my forehead and said, "You sure you don't want to say fuck it and let everybody know?"
"Okay," I replied, calling his bluff. I knew he was as freaked out about our parents finding out as I was.
He opened one eye and stared at me. "For real? You’re serious?”
“No," I laughed. "Are you insane? I'd be sent to a nunnery and you'd end up in military school."
His face darkened and he closed his eyes again.
"You're not far off there, sister dear," he said with a sour tone. "That's where I'm headed if I don't manage to pass my classes.”
“What happened?”
“Since I’m off the team, Dr. Adams is circling the waters looking for blood. He is trying to find any reason to expel my ass, and Mason and Becca are right there with him. They’re the ones who told him about me cheating.”
“Why did they do that?” I asked but I already knew.
“Becca is letting her jealousy destroy her mind. She’s been fucking obsessed with me for years and always assumed we’d end up together. Our families encouraged it, we were a good match....Montgomery international money with Coldwater property development. It was a mix that would make both families even richer and Becca the little queen of Harrisburg society.”
“So what happened? I mean it can’t all be because of me, right?”
“I’ve never been that into it, quite frankly. Becca is a bitch and she’ll fuck anything with two legs and a cock. I’ve never been able to commit to her and it’s driven her crazy for years now.”
“Why doesn’t she just give up and leave you alone?”
“Her mother maybe? I don’t know. She’d got this perfect image in her head and it includes me and her getting married and having kids and taking over the family businesses. She dated Whitt for a while, and then Chase, but dumped him when she found out I wasn’t serious about Sienna.”
“Oh god, is there anybody in the school you haven’t fucked?” I shuddered.
“Uh....none of the dudes,” he grinned.
“But seriously, you guys are so...incestuous. It’s gross.”
“And we’re not?” he asked with a raised brow.
“You know what I mean. And we’re not even related.”
“But you want to fuck Whitt.”
And there it was, out in the open.
I didn’t know how to respond. In spite of me losing my virginity to him and being here in his bed, I couldn’t completely deny my continued attraction to Whitt.
I didn’t know if I was ready to cut Whitt off just yet, I mean I didn’t even know how serious I was with Barrett.
“I’ll take your silence as a yes,” he said with a frown. “That’s the problem with all you bitches, you can’t settle down with one cock. Even you, finally getting one inside of you, and you’re already planning the next.”
“That’s unfair,” I said and sat up. “I’m confused about how I feel, don’t lump me in with the slutty girls you’ve known. Besides, you guys aren’t much better. You’re constantly trading pussy like it’s baseball cards or something by the sounds of it. Bed hopping goes both ways.”
“Whatever,” he said and closed his eyes, effectively shutting me off. “You’re the reason all this is happening in the first place. That’s all I know.”
“Don’t blame it on me, I didn’t make Becca crazy.”
“But you made her go nuts enough that she talked Mason into getting rid of me. Not that it was hard to get him involved, he’s been gunning for team captain for years now. It must have sucked, always coming in second place behind me.”
“That’s not my fault either,” I replied quietly. “God dammit, Barrett. I’m on your side.”
His eyes snapped open and he looked at me with such disgust that my breath caught in my throat.
“Are you though?” he snarled and sat up. “I mean are you really on my side, Steph?”
He shoved me back down to his bed and pinned my arms, not playfully or in a forceful sexy way this time, but in a way that genuinely worried me.
“Of course I am,” I replied and struggled to get out from underneath him. “I’m not your enemy, Barrett. I never will be.”
“How about when you take over Montgomery Holdings and cut me out?” he asked with a sneer.
“What are you talking about?”
“I know all about that little plan of yours, daddy’s princess,” he said and pushed harder, making me cry out in pain. “Mom let me in on that little secret, how you’re David’s only biological child so he’s giving you everything when he feels you’re ready. After all the bullshit Roland and I have had to deal with over the years, and you stroll in, shake your titties at him and it’s yours.”
“Don’t be disgusting,” I spat out in disgust. “Why are you doing this? What’s wrong with you?”
He released me and rolled away, sat on the edge of the bed and said, “Get out.”
“Barrett...”
“I said GET OUT!”
I had no idea what had made his mood flip, but I didn’t want to leave.
I felt as if I left him then, nothing would be the same. He would be lost to me and even if I didn’t know exactly what I wanted from him, I wasn’t ready to lose him just yet.
“Please, talk to me,” I said and reached out carefully, touching him on his shoulder.
He jumped to his feet, whirled around and grabbed my wrist in his hand. It hurt and I whined as I tried to pull free, but he wouldn't let me go. His eyes were hooded with darkness, that deep anger that’d I’ve gotten glimpses of over the past few weeks since I’d met him but it was boiling up now and I realize
d I was actually scared of him.
He was filled with rage and frustration and it was all directed at me.
I finally twisted free, sure there would be a bruise from his fingers clamping on so tight, and I backed up off the bed and slipped over the side. I clutched my panties in one hand and held my torn shirt together with the other. “Barrett...what’s going on?”
“Fucking leave,” he roared at me from across the bed.
When I didn’t move, he rushed around the side and raised his hand up like he was going to hit me. I remembered how he’d managed to knock Whitt out, and I cowered down in front of him.
“Please,” I whispered, “don’t be like this. Don’t do this to us.”
“There is no us,” he said and dropped his hand. Instead he wrapped his iron fingers around my upper arm and dragged me away from his bed towards the door. “There never was, Stephanie. I wanted to fuck you and I got what I wanted. It’s just icing on the cake that you were a virgin. I got to pop your cherry and now I don’t want you hanging around, begging for more of my cock. It’s that simple, babe, we’re one and done.”
He dragged me part way to the door and I finally broke free again. I was shivering in fear and overwhelming emotion as I walked the rest of the way, but I forced myself to straightened my back and hold my head high.
“Fuck you, Barrett," I spat, trying to draw venom out of my belly and thread it into my words, but I wasn't convincing. I was too hurt to be cruel, yet I gave it a try.
I turned around and looked at him. “You were right, you are fucking stupid. You pathetic fucking loser. I’ll think about your sad dick when I’m riding Whitt’s nice fat cock. I’m sure he’ll know how to get me off. You might have fucked me first, but he’ll give me my first orgasm.”
I triumphed when it hit home, I saw him wince as I opened his door. I couldn't stay for any more of the aftermath, I slammed his door shut and stormed back to my room before the tears came.
I wasn’t going to let him see me cry, no matter how much he’d just hurt me.
I would never let him see me cry.
Chapter 35
Barrett was as good as dead to me. When I saw him at dinner I fought the bright prickling points of tears that threatened to well up behind my eyes.
I repeated my mantra to myself, I would not let him see me cry.
In fact, almost as a dare to myself, I stared at him until he looked away.
Good, flinch you pathetic loser, I thought.
But I didn't mean it. Of course I didn't think he was a loser. I thought he was a strange and complicated boy who had parts of himself that were broken and I didn't know how to fix them.
I felt like if he would let me in, I could help mend his wounds and ease his troubled mind, but he wouldn't even let me try.
I had my hands tied by him, and the way he'd flipped on me and lashed out had left me no other choice. To hang onto whatever shred of dignity I had left, I had to remain closed off from him.
During the first course the family managed to avoid discussing the elephant in the room...Barrett's trouble at school...and stick to boring small talk.
Once the main course hit, Elaine didn't seem to be able to contain herself. She jabbed at him here and there just to express her unhappiness with his situation without actually coming out and saying it.
"Did you notice how well Stephanie did on her weekly quizzes, David?" she asked and sipped her wine while staring directly at Barrett. "She's quite the genius, that girl of yours. I understand why you want to get her involved in your business."
Barrett didn't look up from where he was staring at his phone and ignoring all of us.
He looked miserable though, and as much as I wanted to harden my heart against him, seeing him like that broke it all over again. I wondered what kind of life he'd had in this house, rattling around with nobody on his side, with Elaine's indiscretions at the club and her obvious preference for his older brother Roland as a constant reminder that he wasn't wanted.
And then I'd shown up and taken the family business from him. Perhaps the one thing he'd been counting on to make his way in the world, since obviously he couldn't count on achieving great things with his education.
"I didn't do that great, and I think they're grading us on a curve now," I replied.
"Not that great? You got one hundred percent on everything. Dr. Adams even called me himself to tell me about it," Dad said and puffed his chest out in pride. I cringed at that though, I hated him taking credit for something that had been happening long before he showed up on the scene. Mom had been big on education and had made me sit down every night and get my homework done from kindergarten onwards.
He hadn’t even been around when I’d needed him. He shouldn’t get credit for Mom’s hard work.
"We're so proud of you," Elaine said, but when I looked at her, she had a dead, steely look in her eye that told me the opposite. She still despised me, maybe for Taylor's disgusting attempted assault, maybe because I was the other woman in the household now...who knew the exact reason. I just knew that after a few weeks of being here, she still hadn't opened up to me at all.
"Have you had a chance to try driving yet?" Dad asked out of the blue.
"I got a learner's permit, but that's it," I replied. "I might go driving with Whitt this week though. He said he'd teach me."
And as much as I'd wanted to land blows to Barrett's heart, I felt awful when he winced at my words and hunched over a little more.
"Why don't you take her out?" Dad asked him and Barrett looked up, surprised.
"I...I'm really busy," he said and looked everywhere but at me.
That was the extent of our conversation at dinner, and it was fine with me.
The less I had to do with Barrett, the easier it would be to cut him out of my heart where feelings for him had taken root. I could work on choking off the new growth and eventually drag the rest of it out of my psyche, leaving hollowed spaces in its stead.
I skipped dessert and went to my room after dinner, but craved something sweet later on around ten.
I'd been working hard on an extra credit project for English class, studying the use of imagery in early nineteenth century writing, and needed a treat.
I padded through the silent house and once again thought about how eery it was compared to my home in California.
Had I been there on a Friday night, I would have heard Mom and Reg in the living room watching TV and Maddy or Brie would be spending the night.
It would have been small but warm, cozy and filled with love.
This place was massive, everything you'd envy and desire on the pages of a magazine or online staring at some celebrity's unattainable lifestyle.
But it was empty of the things that made a place a home. There was no love here, there was no warmth and no sounds of happiness.
It made me sad every time I walked through, which is why I hid in my room a lot of the time, especially in the evenings.
I was walking down the long hall at the bottom of the stairs when I heard voices coming from one of the family rooms in the back of the house. It was supposed to be a place where we gathered together and watched TV or played board games I assumed, but I'd never seen anybody in it before just now.
I stopped and edged towards the entrance to hear the conversation.
It was my dad and Elaine, they were speaking loudly about something so I stopped and stood completely still to listen in.
"It's an embarrassment. How am I supposed to tell people at the club that my own son got kicked out of Westview for being stupid?" Elaine complained.
"He's not stupid, he needs help. If you would just acknowledge that then he could pass these classes on his own."
"He doesn't need help! He's lazy! Just like his father."
"He has a learning disability, darling. There's nothing lazy about it. It's a simple genetic issue, a problem with reading perhaps.”
"You think your DNA is so perfect because of your perfect daughter," Ela
ine said in a hateful tone. "My son doesn't have a genetic problem, he's lazy because we've spoiled him. But I can't handle the way everybody is going to talk about this. Call Dr. Adams again."
"There comes a point where I can't throw any more money at the school to make this go away," Dad said calmly. "You need to face the fact that he isn't getting the right kind of help. What do you expect me to do even if he makes it through high school? Pay off Harvard too?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I expect. And if he's not going to graduate from Westview, then he can go to boarding school where they'll whip his lazy ass into shape."
Dad kept trying to reason with her, but I couldn't listen to any more.
Elaine was a monster. She was more concerned with her image than she was about Barrett's learning issues.
If he had something like untreated dyslexia, that would explain so much. It would be the reason for his anger and frustration. And the belief that he was stupid, if he couldn't learn to read the way they'd been teaching him, he would feel stupid in spite of what anybody told him.
I forgot about my snack and raced back up to my room. I hesitated outside Barrett's door, tempted to knock just to check in, but I couldn't face him just yet.
Not after what he'd said, and not after what I'd said.
We'd been so awful to each other that I couldn't approach him until I had a solid plan in place to get him the help he truly needed.
And then maybe I'd get to know the real Barrett. Then maybe he would let me in and let me love him.
We might just get another chance after all, and I was practically shaking at the thought of it.
Chapter 36
Nothing seemed to change once I had that information though, I didn’t have a chance to do anything with it.
The next day Barrett wasn’t at breakfast and by lunch I realized he was gone and nobody seemed to want to tell me where he was.
I cornered Kit in the afternoon and she hesitated, looked around nervously and finally whispered, "He's gone to his father's for a week or two. He leaves when he and Elaine butt heads, but he always ends up coming home."
