Different Paths

by Judy Clemens

  “What on earth?” Ma stopped, staring at me, her hands on her hips. She reminded me of Lucy, and I figured all these women of good Mennonite stock have that look of consternation down pat.

  Katherine winced. “Cow step on you?”

  “How’d you guess?”

  “We grew up next to a farm. The folks there would end up limping or on crutches every so often. And that was in-between black eyes, broken noses, pulled muscles…” She smiled, shaking her head.

  “Well, you’re right. I got stepped on. Anyway, Ma, I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.”

  “Hmpf.” She stared at me for a few moments before changing the subject. “I took these folks to The Towne for an early breakfast and thought I’d show them your place on the way home. But I guess you’re not up to it.”

  “Of course I am.” If I popped another ibuprofen pretty quick. I looked at the group and wondered exactly what time Ma had roused them for breakfast, since it was barely eight-o’clock. Most of them looked at least kind of awake. “What do you want to see first?”

  Alan smiled. “Wherever you like. It’s your place.” He looked like he was giving every effort to show the early hour wasn’t bothering him, but I wasn’t fooled so easily. I knew the only thing keeping him going was that coffee cup in his hand.

  Katherine, looking rather awake, nodded. “We don’t want to impose. So whatever is easiest for you.”

  “This is all yours?” Sarah looked around at the various barns, her face alive. “Cool.”

  David, usually the morning person from what they’d said, didn’t look it this time. Maybe Ma had dragged them out of bed so early he didn’t get his usual exercise. I laughed to myself, looking at the differences—and the similarities—between him and Alan. If I hadn’t known better, I might’ve thought they were the brothers, rather than their wives having the family ties. They had the same coloring, and the same eyes—although it was hard to tell since both men’s were half-closed. David obviously had the muscles, while Alan looked like any normal middle-aged man—healthy but not necessarily athletic. Alan, on the other hand, had a graying but full head of hair, while David’s was cut military-short, trying to hide the fact that it was thinning. So while they weren’t brothers, they easily could’ve been.

  Tricia didn’t seem to care where the tour led, and Trevor wouldn’t even look at me, so I headed off. Out of necessity the tour was a slow one, with me picking my way around machines, fences, and slippery patches of manure.

  “So you run this place yourself?” Alan asked as we stood in the far pasture, which Wendy had vacated the day before. Alan’s coffee was gone, and his enthusiasm seemed more genuine the longer we’d strolled around the farm. “Looks like a lot to keep track of.”

  “I own it. Lucy works for me full-time, and Zach when he can. Mostly during the summers.”

  “Two women and a teen-ager.” Katherine smiled. “I like that.”

  “Yeah,” Sarah said. “Me, too.”

  Alan grinned at her. “I like it, too. Very enterprising. Was the farm handed down from your family?”

  I felt Ma’s gaze on me as I looked at my barn. “My folks died young—my dad when I was three, my mom when I was sixteen. Howie, our farmhand, kept it going for me until I was of legal age.”

  “He doesn’t work here anymore?”

  I swallowed. “No. He died last summer.”

  “Oh.” Alan stopped smiling and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”

  I shrugged and flattened a thistle with the tip of one of my crutches. I certainly wasn’t going to explain how Howie was murdered on this very land, trying to protect it. Trying to protect me.

  Katherine’s voice was gentle. “It’s hard to lose a loved one. Especially a parent, or someone who has been like one.”

  Tricia inhaled sharply and stepped away from our group, giving Katherine a flat look before walking back up toward the house. David glanced at Katherine, his expression guarded, and headed off after his wife.

  Katherine closed her eyes, breathing deeply, then opened them. “I’m sorry. Tricia’s still very…sensitive about our mother’s death. Can’t quite handle talking about it yet, even though it’s been a few months.”

  Sarah frowned. “She has to get over it.”

  “She will.” Katherine’s voice was firm.

  Sarah looked away.

  I watched as David caught up with his wife and fell in step beside her. “Had she been sick?”

  “Our mom?” Katherine looked at Alan. “She was…it wasn’t Alzheimers, but she was beginning to lose herself. It was hard to know— She’d been living with David and Tricia—and the girls—for a long time.”

  Sarah made a face. “Forever.”

  “A dozen years ago or so we decided Mom couldn’t really live on her own anymore. She was doing things like leaving the burners on, or forgetting to get dressed in the morning. Alan and I both had full-time jobs, so she moved down to Lancaster to be with Tricia and David. It was just at the very end that she moved into a nursing home, and then they discovered she had Stage Four breast cancer. She died only a couple of months later.” Katherine looked up the hill toward Tricia, who was no longer in sight. “Like I said, Tricia hasn’t been able to put it behind her quite yet.”

  My mother had died from breast cancer, too. And while I certainly didn’t think about it every moment, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to put it completely behind me.

  Ma put her hand on Katherine’s elbow and pulled her gently away. “Who wants to head back to the car? I’m tired.”

  She wasn’t tired. But I had to love her for her protectiveness. And not just of me. Of all of us, thinking about our lost loved ones.

  Tricia and David were waiting for us by the van, David leaning against it, arms crossed, while Tricia stood a few steps away, watching Queenie as if the dog would attack her at any moment.

  Lucy and Zach were done milking, on to cleaning the stalls, and when I stuck my head in the door I saw they’d been joined by Randy, who had taken over my straw bale and was watching them work. I hadn’t noticed his Caddy in the drive, but peeking back out I saw it parked to the side, under a tree.

  “Hey, Randy,” I said. “What’s up?”

  He glanced over at me and nodded, but kept chewing on the piece of grass he had stuck between his teeth. He turned and looked through the door at the rest of the group, but didn’t say anything to anybody. I raised my eyebrows at Lucy, and she shrugged. These teen-agers in the mornings…

  I pulled my head back outside and we stood in an awkward circle outside the door, David rejoining us and gesturing for Tricia to come over. I wasn’t sure she was going to, but she finally came to stand next to him.

  “Sorry.” I leaned against the doorjamb. “My tour guide duty ends here. I think I’m done in.”

  “I could show them more.” Zach appeared at my elbow. “Could take them up the silo, or let ’em try out the bobcat.”

  The mens’ eyes lit up at that.

  “You go ahead,” Katherine said. “I think I’ll pass.”

  “Yeah,” Sarah said. “Me, too.”

  Zach looked at me. “So can I?”

  I laughed at the child-like expressions on Alan and David’s faces. Even Trevor showed some interest. I stuck my head back into the parlor and shouted to Lucy. “You need Zach anymore?”

  She yelled back without looking at me. “You can have him. I’m about through.”

  “Okay, Zach. Go ahead. Just be careful. Our liability insurance only goes so high.”

  Alan went a shade paler, and I laughed. “Sorry. Just a joke. You’ll be fine.”

  He looked mildly relieved, but not altogether sure.

  “I mean it. Zach will keep you safe.” I looked at Zach. “Right?”

  “Right.” He leaned into the parlor. “Coming Randy?”

  Randy grunted and left his straw bale, loping along beside Zach as they led the guys toward the shortest silo.


  I turned to the ladies. “What do you folks want to do?”

  “They’ll really be okay?” Katherine’s forehead creased. “Alan’s not real good with heights. And Trevor doesn’t always think…”

  “They’ll be fine.” Geez, were these people completely clueless? So much for teasing the newcomers. “What about you? Anything you’re interested in that I could manage?”

  Katherine looked at Tricia until she finally met her eyes, and I could see silent conversation going on between them. I ignored Ma, whose expression left no doubt that she thought I should play lady of the house and invite the women inside, where I could be hospitable at the same time I rested my foot.

  Katherine tilted her head at her sister, and Tricia turned toward me, her expression tentative.

  “What?”

  “Can I…would you show us your home? It’s such a great example of a period farmhouse.”

  My eyebrows rose, and I ignored Ma’s expression of “I told you so.”

  “Tricia’s interested in interior design,” Katherine said. “Rugged and realistic is all the rage, and she likes to get ideas wherever she can.”

  “You know,” Sarah said. “Just for fun.”

  I squinted toward the house. “I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting company.”

  “Oh, Stella, surely it’s not that bad.” Ma frowned, apparently forgetting she was supposed to be feeling sorry for me.

  “Remember I do live alone.”

  “Well, then, I guess you’d better change your habits if you ever hope to cohabitate with that young man of yours.”

  “Ma…” Heat crept out of my collar, but I wasn’t sure if it was from irritation or embarrassment.

  “You have a boyfriend?” Sarah sounded almost disappointed.

  “Well, yes, actually—”

  Ma put her hand on mine. “Come on, honey. Let’s go inside, where you can sit down.” The woman was relentless.

  “Oh, all right. It is a nice house, but I don’t have it fixed up anyhow special.”

  In fact, the decorations were still pretty much as my mother had left them close to fifteen years before when she’d died. Not my thing, decorating. If it was practical, I used it, if not, it pretty much just hung where it had always been.

  Once we’d seen the first floor I said I was done. The upstairs was only bedrooms and a bathroom. Nothing special. And I didn’t feel like struggling up the stairs or sending the women up without me.

  Tricia stood by the door. “Can I just peek up the stairwell?”

  Somehow I refrained from groaning, and allowed her the peek. If it wasn’t enough, that was just too bad.

  “How ‘bout some lemonade?” Ma said.

  I glared at her. “I don’t have any.”

  “Tea?”

  “All out.”

  Her eyes flickered. “Oh, well. Water will do. I suppose you do have that.”

  “It’s okay,” Katherine said. “We can leave now.”

  Ma looked at me, her patient face on.

  “It’s fine.” I doubt I sounded too welcoming through my gritted teeth, but I tried.

  Ma sat us around my kitchen table, bustling around to get glasses and fill them from the water pitcher in the fridge. I suppose she’d thought I’d act as hostess, but then, she did have her fantasies.

  As she was setting down the last glass, Lucy came in and pulled a chair up to the table. “Got one of those for me, Ma?”

  “Of course.” Ma filled another glass while Lucy wiped her forehead and smiled around the table.

  “So,” she said.

  I waited for more, then realized she hadn’t actually met the other women. I told everybody who was who, and let them carry on with more detailed introductions. After they’d played the Mennonite Game of seeing what mutual family, friends, and acquaintances they had, Tricia turned to me, her expression more relaxed than it had been earlier. “You have a lovely home.”

  “Yes, you certainly do.” Katherine sounded genuine, if not as enthusiastic as Tricia.

  “And you live here alone?” From the sound of Sarah’s voice I was back to being cool, forgiven for having a boyfriend.

  “Yes. All by myself.” I took a sip of water and set down my glass, a lump forming in my throat. “Thanks. For the compliments about the house. I like it.”

  Ma sat down with her own water and looked at me expectantly. I’m not sure exactly what she was expecting. I mean, she knows me.

  But now that we were just sitting, I realized Katherine’s smile wasn’t quite as easy as it had been at Ma’s the other evening. And her eyes looked tired.

  “Sorry to hear about the vandalism,” I finally said.

  She glanced at me, then away. “Thank you. That was…disturbing.”

  Sarah huffed. “It was awful. I mean, who would do something like that?”

  I kept my eyes on Katherine. “You figure it was people who don’t like you being a woman minister?”

  She gave a little laugh, without humor. “That’s the assumption.”

  Tricia made a noise, but when I looked at her, she was studying the trim around the kitchen door.

  “Oh, these people,” Lucy said. “What is the matter with them?”

  Katherine smiled gently. “They’re just…”

  “Behind the times.” Sarah shook her head, obviously disgusted.

  Lucy leaned forward over the table. “It makes me want to scream. Don’t those people read their Bibles?”

  Ma let out a laugh, and Katherine grinned at Lucy. “I sometimes think they read them too much.”

  I blinked. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean if you scour the Bible hard enough you’ll find something to back up whatever you want. Especially the New Testament. It’s filled with letters to specific churches. Corinth. Thessalonica. Collossae. And just like today, each church back then had its own issues.”

  “Like women talking,” Lucy said.

  “Exactly. People like to take the I Corinthians scripture literally that tells women to be silent in church—”

  “—when Paul was speaking to one specific congregation.” Lucy’s eyes sparked. “The women there were probably just chatterboxes. Couldn’t be quiet.”

  Katherine laughed. “That’s right. We all know women like that.”

  I was searching my memory for the old days, when Ma used to take me to church and send me to Sunday School with Abe. “What about…isn’t there something that says women should have no authority over men?”

  “Sure,” Katherine said. “In I Timothy.”

  “And that women are supposed to submit to their husbands?”

  Katherine grinned. “Ephesians 5. Colossians 3. I Peter 3.”

  Lucy thumped the table with a finger. “But Jesus told us we were to sell all we have and give it to the poor. Do those people who insist on women’s submission do that? Or leave their families high and dry to go evangelize? If these people who discriminate against women want to take those anti-women Scriptures literally, they need to take everything literally. Including where Paul says there ‘is no longer Jew or Greek, slave or free, male and female.’”

  I licked my lips and looked around the table. Katherine was watching Lucy with an expression approaching amusement, while Tricia looked a bit like she feared for Lucy’s sanity. Sarah kept her eyes on Katherine, as if waiting for her response.

  “I didn’t mean to start a riot,” I said.

  Katherine laughed, and laid a hand on Lucy’s arm. “I’m impressed with your knowledge about this subject. How did you come to know all these details?”

  “Well,” Lucy said, sitting back. “I am from Lancaster.”

  Sarah let out a bark of harsh laughter. “And we all know what goes on out there.”

  Katherine smiled, looking at Tricia, but received only a tightening of her lips in response.

  Lucy relaxed into a sheepish grin. “It’s good you didn’t want to go to Lancas
ter to work.”

  “I actually did make some inquiries last year,” Katherine said, “to see if we could get closer to Tricia’s family and…and Mom, but of course nothing came of them.”

  “How come?” I remembered someone else mentioning Lancaster when we were at Ma’s the other evening for dinner. Something about Katherine getting nasty letters.

  Lucy let out a huff of air. “Because last year their ministers voted against ordaining women. Of course all of those voting were men.”

  “But the vote was about as close as it could get,” Katherine said. “They needed sixty-six percent in favor and they got sixty-five.”

  Sarah growled, sounding remarkably like Queenie. “So one third of stodgy old men got to dictate the rules and keep the women out. Stupid.”

  Ma clicked her tongue. “Don’t blame it all on the old people. There are lots of young conservatives, too.”

  “And there was a church that already went against the vote,” Katherine said. “Ordained a woman anyway.”

  “And are they still allowed in the conference?” I asked.

  She held up her hands. “The jury’s still out.”

  The door opened and Zach stuck his head into the kitchen. “The guys are done.”

  Katherine and Tricia looked at each other and pushed their chairs out from the table, Sarah following.

  “Thanks for the water,” Katherine said, her eyes sparkling. She looked much more alive than she had when we’d sat down. I guess a little controversy will do that for you.

  Tricia nodded. “And for the tour.”

  “Good to meet you all,” Lucy said. “I’m going to hang out here and make a phone call.”