Behind Closed Doors

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  Regina smiled at her latest thought and then sat down on the bluish-green lounger. She stretched out, lit a cigarette, took a long drag, and blew it out. She felt better already. These Capris were much skinnier and a lot more feminine-looking than any of the other brands on the market, and they probably weren’t nearly as risky. And even if they were, it made her feel a lot less guilty by pretending that they weren’t.

  After inhaling a couple more drags, she tapped the cigarette with her finger, and the butt fell into the ashtray next to her. She closed her eyes. It was funny how she hadn’t wanted to go shopping when Karen had called, but now she was looking forward to it. And come to think of it, she wasn’t feeling the slightest bit depressed. Maybe it was the nicotine. But then, maybe it was her prayers finally being answered. Either way, she felt better than she had in what seemed like an eternity.

  “GIRL, LOOK AT THIS,” Regina said, leaning over a diamond-filled showcase. They were in one of the fine jewelry stores housed in the lower level of the mall.

  “Oooh, that’s sharp,” Karen said, leaning forward to catch a glimpse. “How much is it?”

  “I don’t know, but who cares. Just look at it.”

  Shoot, Karen had wanted Regina to get out of the house and have a good time, but not this good a time. So far, they’d only gone to one store, and she’d already bought two linen blazers, a coatdress, and a business suit, without even trying any of it on. She’d spent over five hundred dollars and appeared to be just getting started. Maybe shopping hadn’t been the best choice for an outing.

  “Yeah, it’s nice, but I can tell just by looking at it that it’s way too expensive,” Karen offered.

  “Nothing’s too expensive for this Visa I’ve got sitting here in my wallet. Especially since it’s got Larry’s name printed all over it. Unfortunately for him, it’s one of the few accounts my name isn’t on.”

  Karen didn’t say anything.

  “Can I help you ladies find something,” a classy-looking, forty-something saleslady said, smiling.

  “You sure can. I’d like to see that tennis bracelet toward the back of the case.”

  “This one?” the saleslady asked, pointing to one that looked a lot less expensive than the one Regina was eyeing.

  “No, the one over there.”

  “This one?” the saleslady asked again, pointing to another bracelet.

  “Yes, that’s the one.”

  “This is one of our most popular bracelets,” the lady said, removing it from the case.

  “How much is it?”

  “Let’s see. It’s six thousand five hundred dollars, but we’re having a half-off sale, so you’d be looking at about thirty-two fifty, plus tax.”

  “Hmmm,” Regina said, taking the bracelet into her hand and clasping it together around her wrist. “This is really nice. What do you think, Karen?”

  “I think it’s nice, but didn’t you just buy a tennis bracelet earlier this year?”

  “Yeah, but that wasn’t the one I really wanted, anyway. It’s okay, but nothing worth talking about.”

  What was she saying? If Karen remembered correctly, Regina had spent over $1,200 on that bracelet. And now it wasn’t even worth talking about? Once again, the girl was out of control, and Karen didn’t have the slightest idea of what to do about it.

  “That’s a beautiful ring you have on your middle finger. Are those real diamonds?” the saleslady asked. And was serious.

  Karen laughed before she knew it because she knew Regina was about to go off.

  “What do you mean, are they real diamonds? What else would they be? Hell, if you must know, my husband bought it for me on our first anniversary.”

  “Oh…I…I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just that nowadays the CZs look just as genuine as the diamonds.”

  Yeah, right. Who did she think she was fooling? Truth was, she thought two carats were a bit much for a black woman to be wearing. That is, if it was real. Regina rolled her eyes at the woman and scanned a few more bracelets in the showcase. She really wanted the one she had on, but that comment was making her think twice about it.

  The saleslady noticed Regina’s indecisiveness and spoke up in a hurry. “We do have a layaway plan, if you’re interested.”

  Shit. There was no hope for this woman. As far as Regina could recollect, she hadn’t asked about any damn layaway plan. “I’ll tell you what,” Regina said with wrinkles already formed across her forehead. “You can take this bracelet back, because I don’t do layaways, and I sure as hell don’t do business with ignorant, prejudiced people like you.” She slipped it off and dropped it onto the glass counter.

  Regina and Karen left the store without looking back. They were both steaming.

  “I don’t care how many college degrees you get, how much money you make, or how nice a neighborhood you live in, you’re still just another black face to some white people,” Karen said.

  “I can’t believe that wench asked me about some layaway plan. And to think she wanted to know if my diamonds were real,” Regina said, switching her clothing bag from her right hand to her left one.

  They continued down the mall toward the other jewelry store.

  “It just goes to show, some things never change. Don’t get me wrong. Not all white people are like that, because I’ve got two close friends from where I used to work who treat me no different than anybody else. And you know how down-to-earth my nail tech is. But there are always going to be those certain ones who have all blacks stereotyped the same way,” Karen said, taking notice of the cookie shop they were passing by. She decided against going in it, though.

  “I swear. You’d never know it was 1995 with the way some white people act.”

  “No, really you wouldn’t.”

  “Shit like that makes me want to hurt somebody,” Regina said.

  “Yeah, I know, but what sense would it make for you to be sitting behind bars, when the rest of this racist world would still be out here doing their thing.”

  They stopped in front of the jewelry store that they’d been forced to take their business to. A nice-looking, immaculately dressed black man, probably in his early thirties, was standing behind the counter.

  “Well, well, well,” Regina said, turning to look at Karen. “I guess we don’t have to worry about any stereotyping up in here, now do we?”

  Karen laughed. “Girl, shut up, and let’s go in.”

  “Good afternoon, ladies,” the salesman said as they entered the store.

  “Hello,” Regina and Karen said in unison.

  “Is there something you’re looking for in particular?” he asked, smiling.

  “Actually, there is,” Regina answered. “I’d like to see your diamond tennis bracelets.”

  “If you’ll follow me over here, I’ll show them to you.”

  Regina set her bag down when they arrived at the next showcase. She spotted the one she was interested in almost immediately and pointed toward it. “Could I see that one?”

  “Sure.” He pulled the bracelet out and, unlike the previous salesclerk, placed it around her wrist and clasped it for her.

  “Yeah, this is nice,” Regina said. “What do you think about this one?” she continued, gearing the question toward Karen.

  “It’s just as sharp as the other one, and it seems like it’s the same weight as the other one too. I like it.”

  “What’s the price on this one?” Regina asked him.

  “We’ve got a fifty-percent-off sale going on, so it would be half of the price on the tag,” he said.

  That was typical, Karen thought. Whenever one jewelry store in the mall had a sale, the others always seemed to follow suit. Had to, though, to be competitive, she guessed.

  He lifted the price tag. “It’s seven thousand dollars, so the sale price is thirty-five hundred.”

  “Hmmm. That’s two-fifty more than the one I just looked at down the mall,” Regina said. She was going to buy it regardless, but there was no sense in letting
him know too soon. If she held out long enough, maybe he’d meet his competitor’s price.

  He didn’t say anything.

  And neither did Regina.

  Karen was at the other end of the store, browsing the watches.

  “This bracelet is definitely you,” he said.

  “Yeah, I really like it, but two-fifty is two-fifty,” Regina said, unsnapping the bracelet.

  “What if I meet the other store’s price? Will you buy it then?”

  “I sure will.”

  “Fine, let me take it over here, so I can ring you up.”

  Regina passed her credit card across the counter as Karen walked toward her. “So, you decided to get it, huh?”

  “I sure did.”

  “So, where do you want to go now?” Karen asked.

  “I’m with you. You still have to find an outfit, don’t you?”

  “Yeah. I was thinking about going into Field’s, and although Nordstrom is probably too expensive, I want to check out what they have too.”

  “I need to go into Field’s anyway, because there’s this red Coach handbag I’ve been wanting to—”

  “Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need to get your signature on the dotted line,” the salesman said.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I was so busy talking, I wasn’t paying attention,” Regina said.

  He slipped her receipt inside the plastic drawstring bag and handed it to her. “Thanks for shopping with us. I hope you enjoy it.”

  “It’s such a beautiful bracelet that you can’t help but enjoy it,” Regina said.

  “A beautiful bracelet for a beautiful lady,” he said.

  Regina smiled. When she stepped outside the store, she couldn’t help but look back to see if he was still watching her, and he was. She smiled again and kept walking until they were out of his sight.

  “I haven’t seen you blush like that since—”

  “Since the time I met Larry. Shit, what can I say, that brother back there looked good.”

  Karen waited for Regina to add the part about him being dark, but she didn’t.

  “Yeah, he was definitely nice looking, but you’re still married, my dear.”

  “Hmmph. By paperwork only.”

  “Whoa. What’s up with you?”

  “Nothing, except I’m finally starting to wake up. I thought I was doing fine on Monday, but then I got depressed all over again after that incident over at Marilyn’s. But today I feel good and like I can get on with my life. It’s only been two weeks since he walked out, but a lot has happened, and I’ve been doing some serious praying. The best thing you could have done was call me this morning, because I really needed to get out of that house. But, as usual, you always know the right thing to do when it comes to me and my problems.”

  “I’ve been praying for you myself, and I’m glad you’re feeling a lot better.”

  They walked through Marshall Field’s cosmetics entrance.

  “I know you’re not serious about getting another Coach, are you?” Karen asked Regina in disbelief.

  “Oh, yes I am.”

  “Girl, if you keep it up, you’re going to spend five thousand dollars before we even leave here.”

  “Shit, that’s what I’m planning on doing anyway. You can even charge that shorts set if you want to. And after we leave the mall, I need you to stop by my bank, so I can request a five-thousand-dollar cash advance.”

  “Girl, what are you going to do with five thousand dollars cash? Larry is still paying the bills like he said, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah. But so what? All I know is that this Visa of his has a ten-thousand-dollar credit line, and I’m going to charge up every dime of it. Shit. Let him do some worrying for a change.”

  “Girl, he’s going to die when he gets that bill next month.”

  “Maybe. But to tell you the honest truth, I really don’t give a damn.

  CHAPTER 15

  AFTER SCRUBBING THE TUB and sink in the master bathroom, Karen removed a pair of white rubber gloves from her hands, rinsed them off, hung them from the shower nozzle to dry, and walked into the bedroom. Merry Maids cleaned the house once every two weeks, but this didn’t happen to be one of them. She’d thought about increasing the number of visits, but right now, that didn’t seem logical, with John gambling the way he was. The budget was tight enough, and all she’d be doing was making things harder for herself in the long run.

  She sat down on the bed and wondered if he’d gone to that meeting last night like he’d promised. He hadn’t gone any other nights during the week, but that was her fault. She’d allowed him to sleep over Monday through Thursday, and it was obvious that he no longer saw an incentive to go. The man had gotten too comfortable for his own good, which is why she’d had to put her foot down when she’d spoken to him yesterday afternoon: No more sleepovers until he was consistently going to those Gamblers Anonymous meetings.

  She hated to call his mother’s house, but she needed to know if he’d done what he was supposed to. She dialed the number without even thinking about it. It was funny how she never used this number unless it was absolutely necessary but knew it well enough not to have to look it up. But then, for as long as she could remember, she’d never forgotten any phone number that she’d dialed at least once. Her memory for numbers was strong, and that was probably why she’d been so successful with a career in finance.

  “Hello?” John’s mother said.

  Shoot, she’d been hoping John would answer, because she wasn’t in the mood for dealing with this woman who was already sounding like she was mad at the world. “Hi, how are you?” Karen asked out of courtesy.

  “Fine. I’m on a long-distance phone call, so you’ll have to call back. I think John is asleep, anyway.” Click.

  Oooh. She’d switched back over to her other conversation without as much as saying, “Bye, I’ll tell him you called, I’ll tell him to call you,” or anything. Karen slammed the phone on the hook. That woman made her sick, and she had better be damned glad that Karen’s mother had taught her early on to respect her elders. She didn’t know how John was putting up with the old bat. Living with a mother like that was something she wouldn’t have wished on an enemy. John was a good one. Much better than she could have been, that was for sure.

  She picked up the phone again to dial Regina until she remembered her saying her yearly physical was scheduled for nine-thirty. What a terrible way to start a Saturday morning, Karen thought, but better she than her.

  After straightening the covers on her bed, vacuuming every room on the upstairs level, and throwing a load of clothes in the washing machine, she sat down in the great room and dialed John again.

  “Hello?” It was her again.

  “Hi, is John there?” Karen said, trying to keep her composure.

  John’s mother sighed deeply. “I don’t see whatcha call-in’ him for. The best thang you coulda done was put him out. He just don’t know it yet. See, I knew this day was comin’ from the very beginning.”

  Karen didn’t want to get into it with this woman, so she ignored her. “Do you mind if I speak to John, please?”

  “If he had only listened to me and not married you. Lord knows he wouldn’t be going through anythang like this.”

  She was trying Karen’s patience, and Karen didn’t know how much more of this she could stand without blowing up. “Look, Mrs. Jackson, are you going to let me speak to him or not?”

  “Let me tell you one thang, my baby will always have a place to stay as long as I’m breathin’. He’s much better off with me anyway. Why don’t you just leave him alone?”

  This woman was sounding like some crazy person and, the more Karen thought about it, like a jealous girlfriend. She was acting as if she were in some kind of competition with her son’s own wife. Karen wished she would get a life, keep her bossy self out of their business, and figure out that her “baby” was thirty-nine and not five. If she didn’t, she was going to get her feelings hurt. This thing with
respecting elders could only go so far.

  Karen was just about to hang up when she heard John in the background asking who was on the phone. When his mother didn’t answer him, he went and picked up another extension. “Karen?”

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  “Mama, you can hang up now,” John said. “I’ve got it.”

  She didn’t budge.

  “Mama, I said you can hang up,” he repeated. Impatience flowed through his voice. He was clearly upset.

  She blasted the phone on the hook, and Karen smiled. That’s what his mother got for meddling in other folks’ business. Served her right. She’d needed to be put in her place from the moment Karen had called, and she was glad John had taken care of it.

  “You think we can spend the day together?” John asked, chomping at the bit.

  “I’m fine. How are you?” Karen said, laughing.

  He laughed too. “How are you, baby? I didn’t mean to be rude, but I don’t want to waste any time. I want to be over there by noon.”

  “Did you go to your meeting last night?”

  John paused. Whenever he did that, it meant his reply wasn’t going to be promising. “Well, actually, I didn’t, because I fell asleep, and when I woke up, it was too late.”