A Murder in Helvetica Bold

by Jessa Archer

When I finished, Cassie looked a little pale, but it was hard to get a read on Ed. His face was like stone, and I thought it quite likely that he’d decided I was an irrational, overly emotional woman who’d dragged him out into the rain on a pretty shaky pretext.

  “Well, I know one thing,” he said. “Until we figure out what’s going on, the two of you shouldn’t stay here alone.”

  “Maybe it was just someone out for a walk,” Cassie tried. “He stumbled upon our house and saw the bear, too. Maybe he was afraid to move.”

  “In that storm?”

  “Maybe looking for a lost pet…or something?”

  “I left only a few minutes later,” I told her. “You’d think if that was the case, he’d have flagged me down. Asked if I’d seen it?”

  She nodded. “True. And it wasn’t like the storm came out of nowhere. It rained all night. No one could have accidentally gotten caught out in it.”

  “Where’s the picture?” Ed asked. “I want to see it.”

  “It’s in the car. I forgot to grab my phone when I ran in the house.”

  “I’ll go get it,” he said. “I need to run back to the house anyway to pick up a few things.”

  “Why?”

  “Like I said, you can’t stay here alone.” He gave me a sideways grin. “Yes, I know I’ll have to sleep on the couch.”

  “No, you won’t. We have a guest room. But you really don’t need to do this. We don’t know for certain he was watching the house. And I can’t really think of a reason why anyone…would…be…”

  Cassie and I exchanged a look, and I could tell she’d reached the same conclusion that I did. We both knew why someone might be watching the house. It wouldn’t be Blevins. If he seriously thought Cassie had taken something, he’d pull up with the siren blaring, maybe even a search warrant. But Clarence?

  “You said you didn’t think it was a big deal, though,” Cassie said hesitantly.

  “What?” Ed said, looking back and forth between the two of us. “What’s not a big deal? Maybe you could fill me and Cronkite in? Because we didn’t get whatever psychic message the two of you just shared.”

  Cassie sighed. “Should we show him?”

  “Sure. It’s in my purse. In the Jeep. Can you grab my phone, too?”

  Ed watched silently as Cassie pulled on her shoes and grabbed an umbrella. As soon as the door closed behind her, he turned to me. That’s his cop face, I thought with a flutter of my stomach.

  We sat there silently for a moment, and then he said, “You want to tell me what’s going on, Ruth?”

  I looked at him helplessly. “Cassie sort of…borrowed something from Edith’s house when we were there yesterday. I think there’s a chance that Blevins, or more likely Clarence, might be looking for it, so…I’m taking it back to Edith’s house tonight. Cassie doesn’t know that part yet, though.”

  “Cassie doesn’t know what part?” Cassie asked as she opened the door.

  “Why don’t you tell Ed how you got the diary?” I suggested. “And then I’ll tell both of you my plan. Our plan, I guess, since Wren is in on it, too.”

  The timer went off for our tea, so I went to the kitchen to pull the tea bags. I brought them to the table, along with the condiments tray and a little pitcher of milk, as Cassie told Ed the story—losing her earring, finding the diary, catching Blevins’s eye on the way down the stairs. Then I told both of them how Wren and I were planning to return the diary. When I finished, Ed silently doctored his cup of English Breakfast and took a long sip.

  And then he started to laugh. Not just a chuckle, but a real belly laugh.

  “Wow,” he said after a minute. “Just…wow.”

  “Ed.” I touched his shoulder gently. “I’m serious. I’ll be taking it back to Edith’s house tonight.”

  He wiped at his eyes. “The heck you are. Not alone.”

  Cassie squared her shoulders. “Right. I got us into this. I need to get us out.”

  “No, no, no. We can’t all go bumping through Edith’s house in the middle of the night. That just increases the chances that we’ll get caught. And I’m not going alone. I’m going with Wren…who has a key.”

  Ed scratched his beard. “So, what would you have me do? Just wait here? Let you and Wren go alone?”

  A thought occurred to me. “You can be the lookout.”

  He gave me a you can’t be serious look. “I don’t do lookout. And I’m the one with experience in this department. Believe it or not, this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to sneak into a building in the dead of night.”

  “I know. But you have to be the lookout tonight. I’m a little…um…” I gave him an apologetic smile.

  His eyes narrowed. “Faster?”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  Ed snorted. “Of course it is. And…” He paused for a moment and then rolled his eyes. “And you’re right. You are faster.”

  Cassie was pacing. “Oh, lord. I don’t like this.”

  “Calm down,” I said to her. “It’s going to be fine.”

  “Fine. Yeah, right. Exactly where do you want me to keep watch, Nancy Drew?” Ed asked with one eyebrow raised.

  “Jessica Fletcher,” I corrected.

  “More like Lucy and Ethel,” Ed mumbled.

  I laughed. “You could be right on that count. Wren said Clarence has been staying at his cabin. Do you think you can find it?”

  “Sure. We played poker up there once a few years back. Tiny place. We were crammed in like sardines. He used to be one of the regulars, but he stopped coming. Right around the time Elaine’s divorce came through, come to think of it. His place is about twenty minutes outside of town.”

  “Can you make sure he’s there? Make sure he doesn’t leave?”

  Ed grimaced. “I guess. But I don’t like this, Ruth. You and Wren could get in trouble. Serious trouble, even.”

  “Maybe. But she has a key…so it’s not really breaking and entering. We could say I was visiting, and Wren saw something. So we were checking it out like good neighbors?”

  He looked at me doubtfully. “You think that’ll fly with Blevins?”

  I shrugged. “Why not? We’re two middle-aged women alone. What else could we be up to? Anyway, we aren’t going to get caught.”

  He stood up and sighed. I could tell his hip was hurting worse than usual. Had to be the rain. I felt bad for bringing him out in it.

  “Let me see this picture,” he said.

  “So…you’ll do it?” I asked as I pulled up the image.

  “I haven’t decided yet. Either that or I’ll call Blevins and turn you in.”

  Grinning, I handed him the phone. The last thing Ed would ever do was call Steve Blevins.

  ✰ Chapter Fifteen ✰

  My wardrobe doesn’t exactly lean toward goth. It’s mostly jeans and sweaters. The only thing in my closet that was solid black was the dress I’d worn to Edith’s funeral, and it wasn’t something I could wear on a midnight caper with Wren. I settled on a pair of dark-gray leggings and a plain black sweatshirt of Cassie’s, which was way too big for me. Too big for her, too, and while it was clean, it still carried the faint hint of aftershave. I had the strong suspicion that it belonged to a boyfriend, either past or present. Beggars couldn’t be choosers, though, so I tugged it on, then grabbed a black stocking cap from the hall closet.

  When I arrived at Wren’s house, however, I saw that she had managed to locate a skintight black outfit. It wasn’t leather, but there was definitely Lycra or some sort of super-stretchy material in the mix. I decided I didn’t really want to know why she owned this ensemble. I was just going to pretend it was a Halloween costume. Some things you just don’t need to know about even your very best friend.

  “How do I look?” she asked.

  “Like Catwoman.”

  “Exactly what I was going for.”

  “No whip?”

  “I couldn’t find it.” She looked dead serious.

  I placed my purse on an e
mpty sofa beside the door and pulled Edith’s diary out. “Are you ready?”

  Wren took a deep breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  I checked my pocket to make sure my phone was still there. “I just talked to Ed and Cassie. They’ll call if anything changes up on the mountain, so my phone is on vibrate. He said Clarence’s truck is definitely up there. Lights are on, too.”

  “I can’t believe you told Ed.”

  “Didn’t have much of a choice.”

  “Let’s go out the back,” Wren said. “Stay close to the fence. No one can see us from there. It’s too dark.”

  We crept through the dark funeral home together, past the two viewing rooms and the kitchen in the back. Each step seemed about a thousand times louder than it should have been. I just wanted to go back home. Curl up with a bowl of popcorn and whatever was on Lifetime.

  Wren opened the kitchen door just enough for us both to slip out into the night. I went first, and then she followed, gently pulling it closed behind us.

  We were outside now. Outside in Wren’s yard. Where I’d been at least a dozen times. Why did it already feel like we were doing something illicit, if not downright illegal?

  The rain had stopped a few hours back, but the ground was still muddy. Luckily, Wren’s backyard was high enough that it had escaped most of the pooling, but our feet still made a squelching sound with each step. We’d have to take our shoes off before going into Edith’s house. Not good.

  Wren had read my mind. Once we reached Edith’s back door, she stopped on the stone patio and slipped her sneakers off. I did the same, scooting them over next to hers with my sock-clad foot.

  Pulling my phone out, I checked the screen. Nothing from Ed, which was a good sign. Clarence must still be up on the mountain.

  “Let’s do this,” Wren whispered.

  Her eyes were dancing, and I shook my head in amazement. The girl was actually enjoying herself.

  She put her key into the lock and turned it. For a moment, my stomach clenched. With my luck, I thought, the key wouldn’t work. But there was a soft clicking sound, and then Wren pushed the door open.

  The house smelled of Pine-Sol, so Clarence must have had someone come in and clean after the funeral reception yesterday. Wren glanced behind us one last time and then stepped into the kitchen. I followed, closing the door as quietly as possible. We worked our way through the parlor, and I stopped at one point, realizing I was in the exact spot where that creepy Samuel Winters had cornered me.

  My dark-haired boy was back again last night…

  Why had that snippet from Edith’s diary popped into my head? I didn’t know, but it sent a shudder through me, and I moved closer to Wren. “Cassie found it behind Edith’s nightstand,” I whispered, nodding toward the stairs.

  I took point. When we reached the landing where I’d found the teacup, I paused and sniffed the air. Not whiskey, but an equally distinctive odor. “Do you smell that?”

  Wren nodded. “Cigarette smoke.”

  I sniffed again. While I didn’t remember anyone smoking at the reception, I suppose they might have. I wasn’t a smoker and had never spent much time around one, but the smell was unmistakable. And it seemed fresh.

  “Do you think someone’s here?”

  Wren shook her head. “Can’t be.”

  We should have turned around then. But instead we continued up the stairs. I couldn’t shake the feeling that we weren’t alone in the house. Nor could I get the cigarette smoke out of my nose. Wren followed me so closely that we might as well have been joined at the hip. She was on edge now, too, which was unnerving given her nonchalant attitude when she’d unlocked the door a few minutes before.

  We reached the top to find a long hallway with three doors on my right and three on my left. There was a large window directly in front of me. Pale moonlight, almost blue, spilled into the corridor. I turned left. The second door was open, and I could see a sink standing sentinel in the darkness. Edith’s room, according to Cassie, had to be the one on this side of that bathroom.

  I moved slowly toward the door, inching my way along like the woman in pretty much every horror film ever made, resisting the urge to grab my phone and use the flashlight app. Once we were in Edith’s room, we might risk it, but not here.

  As I opened the door, Wren reached out and grabbed the back of my shirt. She pulled me closer, whispering directly into my ear. “Do you hear that?”

  I listened. My heart was pounding so hard in my ears that it was almost impossible to hear anything other than thump, thump, thump. We both stood there in the doorway, neither of us breathing.

  A door at the other end of the hall opened.

  “Where are you going?” a female voice asked.

  “Downstairs,” a man answered. “Be right back.”

  I swerved into the open doorway, dragging Wren behind me. We stood in the darkness and waited. Had he seen us? I didn’t think so, but the possibility still made me very nervous.

  “Hurry back, okay? It’s kind of creepy here in the dark.”

  Clarence was supposed to be at his cabin. But he was here. With Elaine.

  “I’ll be right back, sweetie. Just grabbing something to drink.”

  His feet clomped downstairs, and then the sound faded away. Wren reached out and closed the door as quietly as she could, neither of us daring to breathe again until it clicked shut.

  “I thought Ed said he was at the cabin?” Wren whispered in my ear.

  My thoughts exactly. I looked down at the diary in my hands. The leather was slick with sweat. I crept over to the nightstand and knelt down, stuffing the book behind it. I didn’t know if that was exactly where Cassie found it, but I didn’t care. The job was done. Now we just had to get out of here.

  “We’ll have to wait until he comes back up,” Wren said.

  We stood in silence for what felt like forever, although I’m sure it was only a few minutes. Finally, I heard Clarence coming up the stairs.

  “It’s freezing in here without you. It’s almost as cold as the cabin.”

  I sent up a silent prayer, Lord, get me out of this and I’ll never break into anyone’s house again.

  “I turned the heater up, sweetums.”

  Sweetums? Wren looked at me and made a face like she was about to barf. I had to fight back a giggle.

  But then he stopped. I couldn’t see it or hear it, but I swear I felt his head turn toward Edith’s bedroom. Then I clearly heard him mumble, “Thought that door was open?”

  Wren grabbed the back of my sweatshirt again and yanked me into the closet. There was no time to close the closet door, so we pressed back into the corner. Something brushed my cheek, and I almost screamed. An empty hanger. It hit me then that all of Edith’s clothes were gone. If he looked inside the closet, there would be absolutely nothing to hide us.

  The bedroom door creaked open. Clarence didn’t flip the overhead light on, so I guess he didn’t want anyone to know he was in the house, either. A thin beam of bright white shot across the floor. Probably the flashlight on his phone.

  Clarence stepped in front of the closet—naked, but thankfully his back was to us. He stood there for a moment, and then, apparently satisfied with his half-hearted search, he headed back to the hallway, closing the door behind him.

  Wren let out a shuddering breath and finally released my shirt.

  “I thought you were cold?” Clarence said from the hallway.

  “I am,” Elaine said in a little-girl voice. “But I’m hungry, too. Let’s build a fire downstairs and get some of those leftovers out of the fridge, and then maybe we can…” She trailed off suggestively. “You need to get your mind off this, baby. He can’t hold that over you. You didn’t do anything wrong. Heck, you weren’t even in first grade yet.”

  “Doesn’t seem to matter,” Clarence said. Judging from his morose tone, I suspected she’d just managed to put his mind solidly back on his problems rather than the opposite. “Maybe I ought to just let t
hem dig up the whole yard and be done with it. See what they find.”

  “Maybe you should,” she said. “Then we could get some peace for a change.”

  “We should have left last year,” he said as they made their way down the stairs. “She changed her will more often than the sheets on her bed. We’re probably going to end up flat broke anyway.”

  “Now what?” I said once their voices faded away.

  Wren sighed. “We can wait here, however long that takes. Or…” She glanced toward the window.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  But she was.

  ✰ Chapter Sixteen ✰

  This was how I was going to die. Not warm and asleep in my bed. I was going to go out head over heels, screaming, as I tumbled from Edith Morton’s roof.

  Lord, get me safely to the ground and I’ll never break into a house again.

  “I hate you a little for this,” I hissed at Wren as we climbed out Edith’s bedroom window. It was only about a five-foot drop to the roof of the back porch. On a normal day, when everything wasn’t slick with rain, this would be a cinch. But given the rain we’d had, I was more than a little worried that my feet would hit the shingles on a skid and I’d just keep sliding until I landed smack on the patio below.

  But they didn’t. I dug my toes in, feeling the wet shingles soak through my cotton socks.

  Wren laughed softly as we began to inch our way toward the porch. “I’ve done a lot of things in my life, Ruth. But climbing off a roof is a first.”

  It was a first for me, too. I fought off a wave of panicked laughter, wondering how we would explain this if Blevins pulled up right that second. I couldn’t think of any plausible excuse. I’d probably just slap the handcuffs on myself and save him the trouble.

  When we reached the edge, I wiped my wet palms on the backside of my pants. The drop was considerably more than five feet this time, and I gulped hard.

  “Not afraid of heights, are you?” Wren giggled. I was glad she was finding this so entertaining. At least one of us was having a good time.

  “How the heck do we get down from here?” I asked.