by Mj Fields
She nods. “Sure.”
I grab the bucket and take her elbow with the other hand. I have no clue what she’s thinking, but I am relieved as hell I don’t have to stay the hell away from her anymore.
She starts heading toward the left, and I redirect her right.
“Got the four-wheeler over here,” I tell her.
“I’m in a dress.”
“You’ll be fine.”
After strapping the bucket full of Mandee’s mom’s favorite flowers to the four-wheeler, I get on. She climbs on behind me, and then I start it up and look back.
“Gotta have to hold—” I stop when she grips my hips, and then force myself to turn around.
I start out slow, wanting to take my damn time because, right now, she’s holding on to me. Don’t like to be touched by women. Feels too damn much like commitment. Mags and Mom, I’m committed to. Others, no. But Mandee...well, it feels fucking good.
When I hit a bump, one of her hands detach from my hip. Afraid she may fall, I grab it quickly and pull it around my waist, and she grips my shirt. As I speed up, she wraps her other arm around me. Then, when I go faster, she’s flat against me, holding tight. I have to force myself to not take the long way just to feel her body against mine.
I will my dick to not get any harder, knowing damn well it just may, but my dick’s not playing right now. It’s something else. Something in my chest tightens.
I don’t want to go back to the house. I want to enjoy this, her.
When we get closer, she starts to loosen her hold; one, then the other arm leaving me.
I turn off the engine then turn to look at her. “How long you been swimming at that pond?”
“A—”
“Come on!” Phoenix laughs from the porch.
Mandee shakes her head and smiles at her before turning back to me. “I need to do these.” She points to the flowers.
“I got it, sweet girl,” Mags says, walking toward us with her cane.
Fucking hell. Could they all just go away for ten minutes? I think to myself as I get off the four-wheeler.
As she slides off, she smiles at Mags and looks down a bit. “Oh, it’s no trouble, really.”
“How do you want them done?” Mags laughs, and Mandee grins. An adorable, little fucking grin, too.
“I was thinking twine, leaving the stems exposed. The white daisies for Juliana’s bouquet, and red for the rest. Oh, and maybe a couple red blended in with the white for the bride?” The excitement in her voice is also adorable. So damn childlike.
That girl, Mandee, she loves this fairy tale shit.
“I think I can do that.” Mags smiles at her.
“And maybe this bucket with whatever is left over for the alter area? Oh, I wish there were two. That would be—”
“Your description is all we need, sweet girl. Now go get dressed. The girls are waiting.”
She moves forward slightly, as if she wants hug Mags, but stops herself.
“Oh, bring it in.” Mags laughs, and then she does.
When she all but skips to the house, I grab up the sunflowers and hand them to Mags. “These are for you.”
“Such a gentleman.” She smiles and takes them. “You’re next, my boy.”
“Nah, Mags. Gage is next. All this, it’s not for me.”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “Now, you and I have some things in common.”
“Yeah?”
“And we also have some differences we need to settle. Me being right; you being wrong.”
I shake my head.
“The commonality—this family. Your brothers, you and I both know they deserve the love they found.”
“Never said any different.”
“The difference is you, my boy, don’t think you do. I’m telling you, you do.”
“No desire, Mags.”
She holds up a daisy and smells it. “Oh, I think you do, my boy, I think you do.”
§
After helping Mags out with the flower shit, getting another bucket of more flowers and doing whatever she tells me to do because being busy is better than having Mags and her eagle eye searching for truths in my eyes, I get washed up and get dressed.
Standing in front of the mirror, fucking with the black and red plaid flannel tie, the door opens and Mom walks in.
She takes my shoulder and turns me around. “Still haven’t mastered this, huh?” she asks as she undoes the mess I made of it.
“Jeans and tees don’t require all this,” I answer, avoiding looking at her.
“Think you can act like my son today?” she asks.
“Never have acted any way different.”
“Gray, you do when your father is around.”
“Be glad it’s not often, then,” I answer, trying not to snap.
“I think he’s considering coming back Stateside, and not just for a couple weeks this time,” she tells me, and I look down.
“And you’re gonna let him?” Now I don’t hold back my disgust.
“He’s my husband,” she answers firmly.
“Yeah, well, he’s—”
“He’s my husband, your father, Garrett’s father, Gage’s—”
“Gage is the lucky one to not have his blood running through his veins.”
“Gage is also lucky he has a man who accepted a woman with a child into his busy life, married her, and gave her two more beautiful boys who will never have to know what it’s like to go hungry.”
“And never know what it means to have a father who’s around, or treat a woman how—”
“Can I have a minute with my son?” my father, Arnoldo, interrupts.
“Got shit to do,” I say, not giving him eye contact. Fucker doesn’t deserve it.
After giving the damn bowtie a final tug, Mom pushes up on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek before she leaves.
I step toward the door, but he shuts it behind her.
“I want five minutes—”
“You have one,” I snarl.
“What happens between your mother and I is not your concern. If you want to cause problems, I can do the same.”
“Do you think I’m afraid of you?” I laugh.
“I think my three sons enjoy the lifestyle they’ve grown accustomed to. One that I afforded them.”
“Money means shit to me,” I spit at him.
“To someone who’s always had it, yes. To those who have little—”
“Men like you swoop in and make them feel like they should kiss their fucking feet. Not fucking interested in that, either.”
“I don’t need you to agree with me, Grayson. I need you to—”
“Keep my fucking mouth shut about your extracurricular activities? Your woman, your—”
“Watch yourself, son,” he warns. “Seems everyone is happy. You wouldn’t want that rug pulled out from under them, now would you?”
To that, I laugh.
“They’ve all hurt enough. I wouldn’t do that to them. But you, I’d destroy if I could for what you have done.” I push past him and walk out of the bathroom.
“I’m not finished.”
I look back and laugh. “Yes, you are, old man.”
When I turn back around, I see Gage, Garrett, Jase, and Ricco looking at me.
“You ready to do this, man?” I ask Garrett.
“Damn right, I am.” He is all smiles, oblivious to what could have fucked up his day, and I’m damn sure glad about that.
I look out of the corner of my eye at Gage, who is looking at me with concern.
I give him a wink and a smile. “Let me grab my guitar.”
“Glory.” Garrett nods.
I nod back. “Yeah, her name is Glory.”
§
Sitting on a hay bale, my brothers and Jase and Ricco to my right, I wait for the nod then start playing. I close my eyes as I start, seeking my muse in the darkness inside. When she’s visible, I start strumming the strings. When it’s time to open up my mouth, to let loose the feelings in the note
s, to sing a song that means a whole lot to my brother, I look at him.
“I set out on a narrow way many years ago, hoping I would find true love”—I turn to look for his love, but it’s Mandee coming down the burlap aisle—“along the broken road. But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow, kept pushing through. I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you...”
She looks fucking beautiful. I mean, she always does, but that little black dress, those boots, her fucking hair, the black and red flannel tied up just below her tits...Christ, I think as I look up at her face.
Her eyes show confusion, her head cocked to the side slightly, her brows knit a bit, but that smile stays right there on her face, regardless of how fucking confused she looks. Then that smile turns a little sad when she looks up to the sky and smiles, sighs, then looks back at me.
I fumble a little with the change in chords before the chorus, needing to look the fuck away from her or I will be singing a whole different song.
Somehow, my eyes land on him, my fucking father. I let him know, too. I let him know that he’s the fucking one who broke us. All of us.
I again seek out Mandee, who has a tear sliding down her cheek, but a smile, albeit sad, on that beautiful face of hers.
I can’t handle that crying as I continue the song, so I look for Mags and start the next verse. This part of the song is all Mags.
“I think about the years I spent just passing through...” I continue singing as she places her hand on her heart and smiles. “But you just smile and take my hand. You’ve been there, you understand. It’s all part of a grander plan...” I nod toward Garrett and finish the verse, still looking at Mags. “It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true.”
She lights up. She deserves to light up. She’s been the one constant love in this family.
I look back at Garrett and watch him as he sees Juliana coming down the aisle with Brand.
Finishing the song, my eyes land on her. “That God bless the broken road that led me straight to you.”
I set my guitar down and stand directly across from Mandee, who nods her head once. I must look concerned because she does it again, slower now. Still confused and oblivious to her, she holds the flowers, red daisies, up to her nose and smells them. Then she nods again.
When she looks out across the yard, I follow her gaze, seeing the four-wheeler. Then I look back at her, and she shrugs, gives another slight nod, then looks away.
After the short ceremony, Garrett and Juliana link arms and walk toward the house. Phoenix and Gage, Jase and Carly, and Ricco and Kat fall in line.
When face-to-face with Mandee, she links her arm through mine and whispers, “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I have been going to the lake, to get away.”
“How fucking long?” I snarl, pissed at what she’s telling me.
“Since I was old enough to drive,” she says at the end of the aisle, then unlinks her arm and looks at me. “And Grayson, I rarely wear anything other than white.”
While I’m trying to wrap my head around her being...her, she walks away, leaving me standing there, watching her round ass walk toward the limos.
Chapter Twelve
Circles
Mandee
I can’t get away from him fast enough. It took balls, which I don’t have, and four glasses of wine before I could walk down the aisle. Phoenix tried to warn me away from them, but I didn’t listen.
So, now I’m buzzed, possibly drunk, and I want him. I want Grayson Falcon so badly that I’m afraid of how I may act, which is why I shouldn’t be drinking, but I need to.
I so need to.
Wanting him, that was before I walked down the aisle to a song I have always loved, sung an octave or two lower in that voice, that deep rasp that I know I heard in the woods, by a man I now know to be real, not imaginary. But...
“I’ll take that,” I say as Phoenix passes a bottle of champagne around me. I grab it and drink it straight from the bottle.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” Gage Falcon’s voice forces my eyes up to his smiling face. “Let loose, Mandee. It’s a day for that.”
I swallow down what’s in my mouth and hold it up. “Cheers.”
As I take another swig, I notice Phoenix holding plastic champagne flutes and looking at me like I have lost my damn mind. I have.
I totally have.
I hand her the bottle. “Sorry. I didn’t see the glasses.”
“Parched?” Phoenix asks.
“Or, just has no desire in fucking around. Hand it over,” Kat, the chick with the horrible yet funny as hell attitude and all the tattoos, says, reaching for it. She holds it up. “To ruining your life for good sex.”
I look toward her fiancé, Ricco, thinking he may be a bit put off by this, but he just smiles.
“Just good?” He leans forward so he’s about a foot from her and stares at her as she drinks out of the bottle.
When she’s done, she tries not to smile. “Wouldn’t want you to get a big head.”
He smirks as he sits back.
Phoenix takes the bottle, drinking it as Kat leans in, much like Ricco had to her. “It’ll stretch out the turtle neck.”
Phoenix starts choking, and Gage quickly puts his hand over her mouth and the other under her chin as she tries her best not to spit Champagne everywhere.
As everyone laughs, I state the obvious. “I don’t get it.”
“His very, very...very big cock is uncircumcised,” Kat says, deadpan.
I cover my mouth and look at Phoenix.
“No, he’s circumcised.” She points her thumb in the direction of Gage. “And, well, yeah.”
Gage laughs, linking her hand in his, then kisses it. “And well, yours.”
“Jase is, too. But he’s very, very, very...” Carly looks over and smirks at her husband Jase.
“Keep going, baby. You know you need to add a few more verys in that sentence to properly describe the prince you bow to every night.”
When she turns a bit pink, he laughs and raises an eyebrow as if to say, gotcha.
“It’s pierced. He has a PA—Prince Albert,” she explains. “And yes, Jase Steel, it’s the biggest I have ever had.”
He gets a smug look on his face.
“But I was a virgin when we met”—she shrugs—“so it actually could be...” She holds up her pinky.
Jase laughs out loud. “I can just whip it out if—”
“And I could flash a boob,” she says smugly.
“Not fucking funny, baby.” He all but pouts.
Everyone looks at Grayson.
“All but one of you in here is hitched, except you.” He points to me. “Being the only single woman in here, you may need to verify the fact that I am fucking perfect.”
I giggle and cover my mouth.
“Come on over here, Mandee. I think we single people need to help each other out,” he says. “Come verify?”
“She’s not single,” Phoenix tells him.
“Don’t see a ring on her finger,” he taunts.
She leans forward. “If you’re attached to that thing, I suggest you leave my bestie alone.”
He laughs and sits back in the seat.
I look up at him as he links his hands behind his head, closing his eyes.
“Fuck that,” Kat says abruptly. “You know everyone here’s getting laid. They might as well, too.”
§
When the DJ announces us for our walk into the reception as Mr. Grayson Falcon and Miss Mandee Carlin, he looks down at me, “Ready?”
I say yes, yet shake my head no.
“Which is it?”
Again, the DJ says our names, “Mr. Grayson Falcon and Miss Mandee Carlin!”
He laughs and sets the pace
Walking into the reception, my armed linked in his, I am on top of the world. I see my dad, and he gives me a slight smile, instead of a glare for touching a boy. Next, I see how beautiful
it is. All my plans finally have come together.
Gray bends down and whispers in my ear, “Looks amazing.”
And now, it doesn’t even matter.
I look up and smile. “You look amazing.”
His head falls back as he laughs out loud, and I laugh, too.
As he pulls the chair out at the head table, he whispers in my ear, “And you look fucking stunning.”
I look up as he walks down the table to where his name card is placed and sits. He smiles and shakes his head, then sits back and crosses his arms over his chest. I see his eyes narrow and follow the direction of his glare, but before they get to the spot he’s looking at, Blue catches my eye.
He smiles and waves. I smile back and do the same. Then I finish the trajectory of Gray’s stare.
His parents?
I look back at him. He’s unmoving, still looking at them. I look back and see his mother watching as everyone else in the wedding party is introduced. His dad is looking back at him.
When Kat sits next to me, I am no longer able to watch the...faceoff.
“I need a damn drink,” she says, looking around. “Let’s do some shots.”
“Shots?” I ask.
“Lots and lots of shots.” She grins, but only for a second.
I look over at Pearl and hold my fingers into shot glass sizes, and she smiles and nods.
Dinner goes off beautifully. BBQ chicken, prime rib, corn, salt potatoes, and fireball, lots and lots of fireball.
Dad is actually being pretty cool. Well, I haven’t gotten a single disapproving look. Not one that I have seen, anyway, and I look at him a lot, even smiled and gave him two thumbs-up. The first time, the new bartender, no clue what her name is, laughed at me and elbowed him. I’m pretty sure he smiled.
Garrett and Juliana didn’t want anything traditional, so after dinner, the DJ starts off with the song I asked for. “Circles” by Jana Kramer. It’s sexy, so sexy.
“This song is so sexy,” I tell Phoenix, and she just looks at me. “It is. And it’s Garrett and Juliana’s song.”
“Is that so?” she asks.
“It is now.” I laugh. She just stands there, so I put my hands on her shoulders and start dancing with her. “Loosen up. It’s a day to celebrate love.”
She rolls her eyes and starts dancing with me. When the chorus starts, we both start singing.
