by Mj Fields
“I lied,” I yell over the music.
“You what?”
“This is our song, mine and yours,” I tell her then hug her tight.
“Oh, Jesus, you are wasted.” She laughs.
I lean back. “First time in...” I stop and make an uh-oh face.
“And you’re safe here,” she says, swaying back and forth to the beat of the music.
“Can I cut in?”
I look over and see Blue.
“This is mine and Phoenix’s song.” I pull her in for a tighter hug. “Next one.”
He nods and smiles. “Promise?”
“Sure do...Blue.” I laugh.
As “You Don’t Know Her Like I Do” by Brantley Gilbert starts, Blue is right back.
“This one’s mine?”
“Sure,” I say, looking around for Grayson, who has been missing for a minute.
“You’re drunk,” Blue states.
I laugh. “Wasted.”
He doesn’t laugh. “You think that’s a good idea?”
“It’s a wedding; I think it’s a great idea,” I answer.
He doesn’t say anything. Then he leans down and whispers, “You know better.”
I step back when I suddenly realize what he’s implying. “My dad’s here. My friends are here.”
“Your boyfriend is here,” he tells me.
“We’re dating, Blue. We aren’t—”
“Same thing, and I’ll take care of you,” he says, dismissing the fact that I’m annoyed.
The song ends and none too soon. I step back, wanting to get away from him, but he grips my hips a little tighter.
“Be mine, Mandee.”
“You’re leaving,” I tell him. “I like you, Blue, but—”
“Ask me to stay. I’ll—”
I see Grayson over his shoulder. His eyes meet mine, and I see...pain? Annoyance? Something.
“No, Blue.” I try stepping back again, and he loosens his grip but doesn’t totally let go.
“Why, because of Grayson Falcon?”
I look away from Gray and back at Blue. “Because of me.”
“I accept what you’ve...” he pauses and begins again, “been through, Mandee.”
Now I step back and push his hands off my hips. “I don’t need someone to accept me, Blue. I need to find me.”
“I’m a catch, Mandee,” he says to my back. “Someone’s gonna get a great guy.”
I turn back and smile. “And I’ll be so happy for you both.”
I look for Gray now and see him talking to the DJ. Then the next song starts, “Blue Ain’t Your Color” by Keith Urban.
He raises an eyebrow at me, and I can’t help smiling at him. Then he lifts his chin before taking a drink.
Dad comes over and puts his arm around my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Just having fun, Dad,” I start to defend myself.
“I’m glad. I know you’re in good hands. Tell me what happened with Blue?”
“Oh. My God, why? What did he say?” I ask, stepping back and looking up at him.
“Not a thing,” he says. “Just know my daughter.”
“Well, I’m just not feeling Blue,” I say, looking down.
“Color too bright for you?” he asks, and I look up. “I’m not blind, Mandee, but you need to be careful.” He kisses my head. “Now go and have fun. I’ll call you when I get to Joe’s. And Mandee?”
“Yeah, Dad?” I can’t help grinning.
“Tell your friends there are security cameras installed now.” He rolls his eyes. “I’m still your father. Just trying to let you breathe.”
“Then you better do some breathing, too.” I hug him.
“Love you, Doodlebug. And you did an amazing job here.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
As my dad walks away, Kat hands me another shot, but I shake my head. “No way.”
“Can’t do it alone,” she says.
“That’s true,” I say as I take the shot. “Bottoms up.”
“Favorite position,” she says as she throws down her shot.
A couple more shots and I swear I hear Grayson over the microphone.
“Can I get the females in the wedding party up here?”
I look at Phoenix and Juliana, then back at Grayson.
“God, he’s freaking hot,” I say, looking at him.
“You have a boyfriend.” Juliana laughs, and I realize I said it way louder than I thought.
Oh hell, I think then remember...secrets.
“Who is perfect for me? That one.” I nod toward Gray. “That one comes in here twice a week, and I swear he leaves with a different skank each time. He’s sinful and naughty, which makes him even hotter. Hell, if I were drunk, I’d give him my born-again hymen.”
“Mandee.” Phoenix laughs. “You stay away from the bad boys. They’ll break that sweet, little heart, right along with your re-virginated hymen.”
“Seems to have worked out just fine for you,” I tell her then hiccup.
Juliana laughs at me. “Wait till you hear him sing.”
“He’s gonna sing?” I ask for the sake of keeping up my charade, wondering if she remembers I was at the wedding. Probably not. Hell, I missed the vows completely, too focused on...him. “Lord in Heaven, please let him suck.” I laugh again, folding my hands in prayer.
“This one’s from your husband, Mrs. Falcon,” Grayson says then stands up, holding his guitar as he walks toward us.
“Sweet Jesus, he’s coming over here,” I whisper.
“And your very sweet boyfriend is watching you swoon.” Phoenix laughs.
“I’m not married; I can look.” I hiccup again.
Gray plays the guitar as he starts singing to Juliana, but then he looks right at me. “Dang girl, look at you, stopping me in my boots. What’s a country boy to do, but say, uh-uh.” He grabs his crotch and looks me up and down. “Stop beating my chest up.” He pokes himself like I did earlier, and I laugh. “You’re downright dangerous. That shake got me giddy up. Got my eyes on what...”
Phoenix grabs me and turns me so I’m facing the girls as we dance.
When the song is over, but my hiccups are far from, I walk over to the door and out into the bar.
“You okay, sweetheart?” the only member of the staff I don’t know because she started tonight asks.
I hiccup.
“Aw, let me get you all fixed up.” She mixes some bitters in a glass of water. “Now bend down and suck on this.”
I hear a chuckle from behind and turn to see Grayson.
Now she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh, to be young again.”
“I’m sure you’re not too old to bend down and suck—”
“Grayson!” I scold on a laugh, cutting him off.
His face drops as he looks at me, then his mouth makes an O shape. “Is it true?”
“What?” I ask.
“Women are much filthier than men. I was talking about the straw.” He puts his hand over his chest. “Unreal.” Then he turns sharply and walks into the men’s room.
I hiccup again.
“The straw, Doodle, the straw.”
I look at her. “How do you know—” When she smiles, I stop mid-sentence. “Oh, my God, it’s Janice. Janice? The Janice?”
Her face is the same as when I was younger, just a few extra lines. She popped in and out of our lives when not traveling. If I remember she was some medical staff working all over the world. She’s Moms best friend.
She smiles wider. “Sure is. And you...you look so much like her, Mandee, as you grow up. Stunning.”
I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or...Yeah, it’s the alcohol, but I lean in and hug her tightly. “Mom’s Phoenix.”
She laughs. “You mean best friend?”
I squeeze her tighter. “Yep, her Phoenix.”
Chapter Thirteen
Gonna Wanna Tonight
Grayson
Garrett and Juliana have gone off to bang the hell out of e
ach other for a week. My fucking parents took Brand home, after the little shit pulled a chair across the dance floor and kissed Jase Steel’s little girl. Gage is here, and I hope to hell he keeps Phoenix and her little cock-blocking ways busy. Blue, I saw the shit that went down. Whatever that girl, Mandee, said to him, I know damn well it pissed him off. Her father skated out right before she walked through the doors into the bar, and I give zero fucks tonight.
That girl, Mandee, was the first chick I got off to, and I was going to fuck the hell out of her. She wants it, begged for it. I haven’t touched ass since that day. She got in deep, and the only way I can get out of whatever the fuck she has thrown me into is to get in her deeper.
Balls deep, to be more precise.
She said she was down. I sure as fuck was going to give her what she wants, and then, then I’m going to fucking jet until that low-life fuck is gone. Only thing I have to come back for before the holidays is Gage’s wedding.
I will shower my cum all over her two-year drought, and then she will be all fucking ripe for the next guy. He will be fucking nice and will make babies and shit with her. Give her the fairy tale shit she wants.
As long as it’s not that asshole Blue.
I walk out the bathroom and head right for her, where she is leaning against the bar, head in her hands. Behind her. I place a hand on her hip, give it a squeeze, and she leans back against me. She better know who the fuck’s hand it is, too.
“You know what the new blue is?” I whisper.
“Gray,” she slurs.
“Fucking right, it is. Now, let’s you and me get the hell out of here,” I say as I guide her by the hip with a hand on the small of her back.
When she stumbles a little, I steady her and look down. She smiles a goofy fucking smile, but still sexy as hell.
“Car,” she says, eyes all fucking over me.
“Two out there. We pick one, and we jet,” I say, taking her hand to walk toward the door, not looking back because I don’t want to see any motherfucker looking at me or her like they want to say something.
When she drops my hand, I turn around and see both her hands over her mouth. Then her body lurches, and my fucking shoes catch a kind of bodily fluid I didn’t expect to come out of her tonight.
She looks at me as if she’s mortified. Then her body does the same shit.
“Fuck,” I say, sidestepping this one then scooping her up.
“No,” she whimpers.
I kick open the door and walk out before I set her on the brick half wall and step over it into what was probably a flowerbed at one time, keeping my hand on her hip so she doesn’t fall. I grab those thick locks and hold them back just in time for her to throw up again.
When she’s done, she tries to catch her breath and whimpers out, “Just go.”
“And what, leave you out here to throw up all over that pretty black dress?” I ask as she dry heaves then hiccups.
“Go, Gray,” she says between hiccups.
“You finish doing whatever you need to do, then I’ll go. When I do, I’m taking you with me.”
“Staying with Phoenix,” she pants out then leans back.
“I know where you’re staying. Been listening to all your plans on that app with the girls. Also know Gage and Phoenix are probably gonna wanna fuck tonight, and I damn sure do.”
She wipes her mouth and looks back. “Me?”
“You still good with laying low?”
“I’m gross.” She scowls.
“And I’m gonna help you get all cleaned up before I fuck you.”
“Make love,” she says.
It’s like a slap to my face.
“I fuck. Maybe when I’m old, have a hip out, or my back’s all sorts of fucked up, I’ll have to do it another way, but Mandee, I fuck.”
“Okay, Gray,” she mumbles, leaning to the side a bit. “You can fuck me.”
Then, she’s out.
Shit.
After a few minutes, I maneuver back in front of her and pick her up. She mumbles something completely incoherent as I carry her to the limo.
As the driver opens the door, I hear nails on a chalkboard screech out, “What are you doing?”
“Looks like he’s carrying your best friend.” Gage laughs at Phoenix.
“I’ll take her,” she says from behind me.
“Not a fucking chance,” I say as I slide in the car.
“Excuse me?” Phoenix asks, getting in the car, too.
Fucking pain in the ass.
So, I make up an excuse. “She’s a mess. I got her. Go have fun.”
“And what are you gonna do?” she asks.
“Throw her in the lake. She’ll get cleaned up and probably wake up,” I answer, honest as fuck about my intentions.
As Gage laughs, Phoenix says, “Get in the car, Gage. I’m gonna take care of her. Your brother’s clearly wasted.”
“And your friend’s not?” Gage jokes as he gets in.
Two’s company, man. Now we have a crowd.
Fuck.
Chapter Fourteen
Wet
Mandee
I wake up in an unfamiliar bed, in the dark. My hair is wet. Soaked, actually. I’m thirsty. So thirsty. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and look toward the only light around—the moon.
I’m at Phoenix’s cabin at Falcon’s Landing.
Oh God, I threw up.
Oh hell, it was on Gray.
I walk out of the bedroom and hear a noise in the corner. Phoenix is giggling.
“Shh,” Gage warns her. “You’ll wake up—”
“I’m awake. Where’s the light? I need—”
“No light!” Phoenix shouts, and I hear what I assume is clothes.
Gage grumbles something under his breath as I blindly make my way to what I hope is water.
The light brightens the cabin, and I close my eyes, expecting it to hurt them.
“You okay?” Phoenix’s asks, coming up beside me.
I look at her and nod. “I threw up?”
“Yeah, you did.” She giggles. “Then passed out.”
“My dad upset?”
“He was already gone. Janice cleaned up the mess inside. Grayson took care of your drunk ass and was going to bring you back. I took over,” she says. “Always the responsible one.”
“Your dress is inside out,” I tell her as I walk toward the kitchen and grab a glass.
“It is not,” she argues.
Gage laughs. “It is.”
I see a light on next door at Mags’ place and wonder if Grayson is there.
“Why don’t you two take off and finish up. I’ll be fine.”
“Gage knows we planned to have a gir—”
“Planned for me to stay coherent.” I laugh as I fill the water from the faucet and take a drink.
“I should stay. What if you get sick again?” she asks.
“Lucky for me, you, and Gage, I am feeling much better than I deserve. Just tired,” I tell her.
“You sure?” Phoenix asks.
Before I can answer, Gage says, “She wouldn’t say so if she wasn’t.”
I look at Phoenix and whisper, “Go fix your dress.”
After a quick hug, I ask the question begging to be asked. “How did I get in here and cleaned up?”
“Gray—”
“Bathed me!”
Phoenix laughs. “No, that was all me.”
I feel my face turn red and look down.
“You’re beautiful,” she says, rubbing my arm.
“Awkward,” I whisper.
“I wanted to cop a feel, but—”
I bust up laughing. “Oh, my gosh, Phoenix.”
“Let’s roll,” Gage says from the door.
Another quick hug and she’s gone.
I finish my water while looking out the window. Leaning in closer, I try to see if he’s in there. I see nothing.
Chewing on my nails for a few seconds, I decide on whether to go over and knock o
r not. I may have blacked out, but I know darn well what I agreed to...again.
I hurry to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Then I see my phone plugged into the wall and look at the time. It’s one in the morning. Do I really care what I look like? I mean, I threw up on his feet and he said such hot, sexy things even after that.
I grab my bag, pull out my toothbrush, and brush my teeth. Then I primp, just a little, very little, because I want so badly to make sure tonight doesn’t end...tonight.
Fortunately, my toiletry bag made it here. Unfortunately, my overnight bag is missing, which gives me few options of what to wear. Very few. Phoenix is tiny. I am not.
Digging through her closet, I find a Falcon Construction tee-shirt that thankfully wasn’t her size and throw it on over nothing, because I have no bra. It hangs off me like a dress, so I knot and tie it at the side. Then I grab a maxi skirt I have seen her wear before, so I know it’s not form-fitting. Plus, it’s cotton.
Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I inspect myself. I certainly don’t look wonderful, but I look okay. I’m sure I will look even better in the dark.
I consider putting on my underwear, but the fact that he hates black and...ew, I wore them all night, I choose not to. Therefore, I just shove my feet in the only option available—my cowgirl boots—and head out.
With each step, I think of all the things my mother told me I need to do to be the best woman I can be.
Be brave, be bold, be beautiful, because you are, I tell myself as I picture her. Don’t let opportunities pass by, and if they do, never give up hope that it won’t present itself. When it does, take it.
Standing at the door, filled with courage and thoughts of my mother, I knock. A few moments later, I knock louder. A few more moments, I open the door and walk right in.
I hold my head high and walk into the dark bedroom, but it’s empty.
When I walk back out, I notice my bag, and as I bend down to grab it, I hear his voice.
“I fucking know. I’ve always fucking known. You may be able to lie to her, but you can’t lie to me, old man.”
“You’ll give me the respect I deserve and keep your mouth shut,” the man hisses. He has a slight accent. It’s his father.
I feel horrible that I am overhearing something I shouldn’t, but I have no idea what to do. Do I leave, stay, hide?
“You named your guitar after her?”
