When Love is Enough (The Brotherhood Series)

by Laura Landon

  Ever so lightly, he placed his hands atop her shoulders, gently pulling her back against him, back to chest, hips to loins, legs to thighs. An explosive heat surged through her and she leaned more snugly against him.

  She didn’t want to be separated from him, didn’t want to think of having to step out of his arms.

  She leaned her head back against his chest. "I know what happened the day Chisolmwood came to see Father. I know why you lied to me."

  His muscles stiffened around her.

  "Damn," he whispered.

  "It’s not your fault, Gabriel. I know that now. I would have made the same choice if our roles had been reversed."

  He nestled her closer. "I know you would have, but I hoped you’d never find out."

  "I’m glad I did. At least now I know you love me. Even when you told me you didn’t. And I can tell you that I’ll always love you."

  He moaned a sigh of anguish that shattered her heart.

  "I’d give anything if things could be different," he whispered, then lowered his head and placed a soft, gentle kiss in the crease where her shoulder began its rise to her throat.

  Her tiny moan escaped into the nighttime sky. "But they can’t."

  He kissed her again, then dropped his hands from around her. A huge gulf of emptiness washed over her.

  It was over. Now she’d have only this last memory to add to the others.

  She took a big breath that hurt going in, then stepped away from him. "I have to return. I’m sure Lord Culbertson wonders where I’ve gone."

  She put one foot in front of the other and walked away from him this one last time.

  "Are you with child?" His voice was little more than a whisper.

  She stopped as if she’d come upon a brick wall. She hurt, more than she thought it was possible to hurt.

  Oh, how she’d love to be able to look him in the eyes and tell him she was. If the Duke of Chisolmwood hadn’t ruined their lives, having Gabriel’s baby would have been the most wonderful event of her life. Instead, she’d cried for days when she’d begun her monthly, knowing she’d lost all connection to Gabriel forever.

  She didn’t turn around, she couldn’t face him.

  "No, there’s no child. We can both walk away this time with no regrets."

  And Lydia walked away from him.

  Somehow she made her way across the terrace with her head high. She placed a smile on her face before she stepped into the ballroom, then stopped short when she collided with the Marquess of Culbertson.

  He looked at her a long time, then held out his arm. When she placed her hand on it, he rested his fingers atop hers and patted her hand in a reassuring, yet somehow understanding gesture.

  He looked down at her the same time she looked up, and he smiled. "Perhaps before tomorrow night, you and I should talk."

  ___

  Gabriel walked at Harrison’s side as they left the Queen’s private rooms. His cane hit the hardwood floor with a resounding echo, his uneven gait, now familiar to his ears, was more pronounced as they walked through the great halls. First one, then another bewigged footman opened doors as they made their way through the maze of corridors. Gabriel’s heart skipped a beat as a strange hitch pulsed inside his chest.

  He’d expected Her Highness’s gratitude for the role he’d played in the Crimea. He hadn’t expected the rest.

  A footman opened the last door and bright sunshine hit his face, a sign that perfectly matched his mood. He and Harrison walked across the red brick drive to where their carriage awaited them. Harrison climbed in first, with Gabriel following after him. Gabriel sank down onto the plush burgundy leather and closed his eyes in disbelief. He had everything he’d always dreamed of having.

  If only he had someone to share it with.

  "I thought Her Highness was in a very good mood today," Harrison said when they were on their way.

  Gabriel’s loud laughter echoed inside the carriage. "Good mood? Good mood! Bloody hell! I’m afraid that before I reach my small, dingy flat she’ll realize what she’s done and take everything back.

  Harrison laughed. "Oh, you mean the two country estates she gave you – both of which are extremely profitable, I might add. And the London town house. Quite an enviable piece of property. I know a number of men who’ve had their eye on it for a long time to no avail."

  "It was too much."

  Harrison focused his gaze on Gabriel. "How much would you put on even one of the lives you saved when you took those papers from that Russian general?"

  "I didn’t do it because I thought I’d be rewarded."

  "No one thinks you did."

  Gabriel sat back against the seat and tried to digest the vastness of what the queen had bestowed on him. He was a rich man. Far wealthier than he’d ever dreamed of being.

  Oh, not in coin. Her Majesty hadn’t given him a monetary reward of any great sum. But in time, the land she’d given him would make him wealthy.

  He closed his eyes to block out Lydia’s image. His wealth no longer mattered without her to share it with.

  He knew he shouldn’t ask, yet he couldn’t keep from finding out. "I hear tonight is the ball to announce your sister’s engagement. I’m sure the Duke of Chisolmwood is pleased his plan is finally fulfilled."

  Harrison turned to look out the window. "I’m sorry, Gabe. I tried to get father’s debts paid before Lydia had to marry Culbertson but the amount was just so damned huge. How Father could have been so irresponsible is beyond comprehension."

  "Lydia said he wasn’t the same after your mother died."

  "No, he never got over her death." He turned back to face Gabriel, his expression filled with amazement. "Do you know the reason Chisolmwood went to such lengths to force Father to sign the betrothal agreement?"

  Gabe shook his head. This was a part of the mystery he couldn’t understand.

  "Chisolmwood was madly in love with Mother. He spent his whole life thinking she loved him, too. In his demented mind he’s convinced Mother was unhappy with Father."

  "Hell," Gabriel hissed through his clenched teeth. He knew there was a hidden reason why Chisolmwood had gone to such lengths, but nothing as unbelievable as this. "So, Liddy is your mother’s replacement."

  For several long minutes neither of them spoke. Finally, he heard Harrison’s whisper. "It’s not too late, Gabe. Take Liddy and run. You love each other. You deserve to be happy."

  Gabe shook his head. "How long do you think either of us will be happy knowing you and Austin have been ruined? Or do you think Chisolmwood won’t exact revenge if we run off together?" Gabriel laughed. "He will. Don’t doubt it for a second, Harrison, or you’ll lose everything!"

  "I know." The carriage turned the corner to Etherhouse and slowed.

  "Would you care to come in and have a drink to celebrate your visit with the Queen?"

  Gabriel shook his head. "Another time. I think I need to go home. It’s been a long day, and you’ll need to get ready for Liddy’s engagement ball tonight."

  "I’d rather not go."

  Gabriel knew that was how he’d feel if he were in Harrison’s place, but staying away wasn’t an option. "This is Liddy’s future you’re celebrating. She needs you to be there for her."

  The carriage stopped and Harrison disembarked. "What are you going to do now?" he said before closing the door.

  "Her Highness just gave me a London town house you tell me will make me the envy of half of London, plus two country estates. I think after a good night’s sleep I’ll see exactly what I own. I’d like the use of your carriage for a few days if you don’t mind."

  "Use it as long as you like."

  Harrison started to close the door and Gabriel stopped him. "Take good care of her."

  "I will," Harrison said, then gave the driver Gabriel’s directions.

  The carriage took off down the street and Gabriel leaned back into the seat. This was it then. As close as he would ever be to her again. As far away as he would always be fr
om her.

  After tomorrow, he’d leave for the country. That had always been his dream, as well as hers, and he’d make the best of the opportunity he’d been given.

  Without her.

  Without the half of his heart he needed to do more than simply exist.

  The carriage stopped in front of the small flat he’d rented, and Gabriel scooted toward the door. Bloody hell, but his leg was stiff. The hours he’d had to stand before the Queen made his leg ache as much as trying to hold his balance aboard the ship had. He couldn’t wait to get inside and rub his knotting muscles.

  He maneuvered down the steps the Etherington driver lowered for him and stepped to the ground. His footsteps halted when he saw a shiny black carriage with the Marquess of Culbertson’s emblazoned crest on the door in front of his rooming house.

  An austere-looking gentleman walked toward him carrying a small leather-bound folder that he held guardedly near his body. Another gentleman accompanied him.

  "Major Talbot?"

  "Yes."

  Gabriel arched his eyebrows and waited. After a short silence the man looked toward the rooming house door.

  "We’ve been sent by the Marquess of Culbertson on business. Could we go inside?"

  Gabriel nodded, then led the way into his ground-floor flat and stepped inside the small, sparsely-furnished room. He closed the door behind the two men and turned to face them. "What do you want?"

  "My employer, the Marquess of Culbertson, sent me with the express purpose of delivering a parcel. I believe his exact term was...gift."

  "And the reason for this...gift?"

  "A repayment of sorts, for services rendered."

  Gabriel felt his temper rise. After tonight, Culbertson would have the only gift that was important to him, and no bloody substitute would make what he’d taken away from him hurt any less. "Tell your employer I won’t accept his gift. I want nothing from him, or from his father."

  "Lord Culbertson explained you might feel this way, but he insists you open the folder before you make a final decision."

  Culbertson’s secretary held out the leather packet he’d been guarding since he’d arrived.

  Gabriel lowered his gaze to the man’s outstretched arm, hesitated, then took the folder.

  Using his cane to help him to the small table in the center of the room, he placed the folder on the scarred surface and opened it. He reached inside and—

  "What the hell is this?"

  "It’s payment in the amount of—" Culbertson’s secretary stopped and handed Gabriel a slip of paper he’d retrieved from his jacket pocket. "It’s a gift in that exact amount. We can count it if you’d like to make sure—"

  "No."

  Gabriel stared at the amount on the paper and let his heart race in his chest. It was the exact amount Harrison told him remained of his father’s debts. Culbertson was gifting him the money to pay Lydia’s blackmailer. "Why?"

  "Lord Culbertson has his reasons."

  "What does he expect in return?"

  Culbertson’s secretary smiled. "Lord Culbertson said you would know the answer to that."

  The two men looked at each other for several long seconds. "There is one more item," Culbertson’s man said, reaching back into his pocket and taking out a smaller envelope. "I’m to give you this."

  Gabriel took the envelope and opened it. It was an invitation to the ball the Duke of Chisolmwood was hosting tonight to announce Lydia’s engagement to his son.

  "My presence is requested?"

  "I don’t believe Lord Culbertson used the term ‘requested’, Major Talbot. I think he has something more definite in mind."

  "I see."

  "Lord Culbertson thought you would."

  The man walked to the door and stopped. "Until tonight, then."

  Gabriel showed his guests out, then sank down on the chair beside the table and stared at the folder filled with an astronomical amount of money – the same amount Harrison and Austin still owed on their father’s notes. Culbertson must have discovered his father’s blackmail plan and didn’t want to start his marriage with such a dark cloud marring his future happiness. After all, what groom wants to know his bride was blackmailed into marrying him? But why was it so important for Gabriel to be at the engagement ball tonight?

  Gabriel read the invitation again, then leaned back against the rough rungs of the chair and smiled a bitter smile. Of course. Appearances were everything to the Duke of Chisolmwood, as they must be to his son, the marquess. How better to put the stamp of approval on his engagement than for his betrothed’s former suitor to be there?

  He swiped his hand over the rough planes of his face. If that’s what it took to get Austin and Harrison out from under Chisolmwood’s thumb, he’d do it.

  What choice did he have, after all?

  He tied the leather straps that sealed the folder and tucked it under his arm, then walked out to the waiting carriage. He needed to give the money to Harrison. Maybe if he were lucky, he’d be there when Harrison threw the money in Chisolmwood’s face. "Take me back to Etherhouse," he said, climbing in.

  He rode through the city streets silently praying that when he reached Etherhouse, Lydia wouldn’t be there. It was one thing to know he’d have to pretend to be happy for her tonight when the Duke of Chisolmwood announced his son’s engagement.

  He didn’t think he was strong enough to fake such a reaction twice in the same day.

  CHAPTER 22

  Gabriel didn’t arrive at the engagement ball early. Hell, he almost didn’t arrive at all. If he could have, he’d have sent Culbertson’s invitation back with a message of his own, and he doubted either Culbertson or his father would have enjoyed reading what he thought of their manipulations. But what purpose would that serve? He’d played this game of theirs for more than a year, and when tonight was over, he’d be finished with them forever.

  After all, this was no different than some of the missions on which he’d been sent during the war. More than once he’d wanted to quit in the middle and give up, but that hadn’t been an option. Quitting wasn’t an option now either. He’d see this through to the end, and that meant standing in view of all of London as one of the well-wishers when the duke announced Lydia’s engagement to his son. Then he would have completed his final mission for the man he’d discovered to be the elusive Thorn.

  He relaxed his tightened grip around the handle of his cane and looked over the crowd one more time. He spied Harrison against the far wall and headed in that direction.

  "I was afraid you wouldn’t come," Harrison said when he reached him.

  "I almost didn’t."

  There was a serious expression on Harrison’s face. "When will you leave London? Yet tonight? Or will you wait until at least tomorrow?"

  Gabriel smiled even though he didn’t feel like it. "It depends on how long my presence is required here."

  "Or how drunk you get after you leave?"

  Gabriel didn’t answer. The less said the greater success he’d have of concealing how much he hurt.

  "Mind if I join you?"

  "I make a lousy drunk but you’re always welcome."

  "I’ll bring Austin. You’ll seem pleasant company by comparison. Have you given Chisolmwood the money?"

  Harrison patted his jacket pocket. "Culbertson met me when I arrived and asked that I wait to pay his father until after he announced his engagement."

  "Did he give a reason why?"

  "No, and I didn’t ask. I don’t care when I pay Father’s debts, as long as I get the bastard out of my life."

  "We’ll offer a toast to that happy occasion later."

  "Until later," Harrison said. "I need to find Austin. He’s no doubt outside. I don’t know what the bastards did to him in France, but since he returned, he doesn’t last but a few minutes confined indoors."

  Gabriel followed Harrison through the crowded ballroom. They met Austin as he came in from outside. His eyes contained the same haunted look Gabriel had noticed
often since they’d returned from France.

  "Just in time," Austin said, swiping at the sheen of perspiration on his forehead. He pulled at the cravat at his neck, then nodded toward the makeshift dais placed against the wall and decorated with several huge bouquets of flowers. "The performance is about to begin."

  Gabriel followed Austin’s gaze. Lydia stood amid several other young ladies, each of them dressed in their finest. But none of them compared. Lydia sparkled like a diamond in sunlight.

  The ache inside his chest hurt even more. He reminded himself that he didn’t have to watch when Chisolmwood announced his son’s betrothal, that he didn’t have to see the look of elation on Culbertson’s face when he claimed his future bride. He only had to remain in the crowded ballroom until the announcement was made, then he could leave before the festivities started.

  Gabriel watched Culbertson walk to where the Duke of Chisolmwood waited. When Chisolmwood saw his son approach, the older man’s face lit with a glow that caused the pain in Gabriel’s stomach to tighten. He wanted this over. He wasn’t sure he could watch what he knew was about to take place.

  "It’ll be over soon," Austin said as if his feelings were obvious for all to see.

  Gabriel didn’t show that he’d heard his friend but stared at the spot where Lydia would join the Marquess of Culbertson when their betrothal was announced.

  As people pushed closer, Gabriel felt their excitement grow in anticipation of the momentous event. Tonight’s happenings would undoubtedly be retold in every sitting room in London for weeks to come.

  The clenching knot in his stomach made him want to walk away as fast as he could. Instead, he leaned against his cane and waited for his world to end.

  He looked at Lydia, at the expression on her face, praying to read her innermost thoughts. Was she happy? Was this as difficult for her as it was for him? Was that a look of pain in her eyes, or was she secretly hopeful as she considered her future as the Marquess of Culbertson’s wife?

  He wanted her to look at him, thought she would feel his presence as was usual when they were near each other. But she didn’t search him out. She continued her conversation with the other young ladies as if she were enthralled with whatever they said.