Decisions

by Ola Wegner

  “Lizzy, you must consider his offer very carefully. Remember that once married to him you will be in his power.”

  “What is your advice, Jane?”

  “You should act according to what your heart tells you.”

  “And what would you do in my situation?”

  Jane looked down, avoiding her gaze.

  “You would accept him,” Elizabeth answered. “If only to help our family.”

  Jane did not contradict her.

  ***

  Elizabeth was climbing up the gentle hill of Oakham Mount. It was a few minutes past eleven in the morning when she left Longbourn. She was punctual.

  On reaching the top, she saw the tall figure of Mr Darcy. He was early.

  He turned his head and saw her. He rushed towards her. “Good morning, Miss Bennet.”

  “Good morning, Mr Darcy.”

  They stared at one another.

  “Have you thought about what we discussed yesterday?” he asked.

  Elizabeth did not expect such straightforwardness on his part. She thought that he would wish to discuss the weather or some other mundane subject as a form of greeting.

  “I have,” she answered. “I barely slept last night thinking about it.”

  “Have you decided?” he pressed.

  She nodded.

  “I beg you not to torture me any longer,” he said.

  “I wish to be perfectly honest with you, Mr Darcy,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm. “Although since our last meeting my opinion of you has changed for the better, I do not claim to like you. My feelings for you do not match yours.”

  She thought that both his posture and expression relaxed after her words. “Miss Elizabeth, you cannot think that I imagined that you would profess your love for me here and now. You have always been nothing but honest with me, and although it pained me many times in the past, I expect nothing less from you. You said though that your opinion of me has improved, has it not?”

  “After reading your letter, I looked differently at some matters and people.”

  “I am very glad to hear it,” he said in a rich voice, his expression hopeful. “It is a good building ground for, will you not agree with me?”

  “But there are still certain matters I cannot forgive you,” she countered. “You separated my sister from Mr Bingley and rejoiced at your success on this matter. You treated with disdain people whose only fault was that they were inferior to you in terms of wealth and class.”

  He was silent for a while. “You do not know me,” he said.

  “No, I do not know you, sir,” she spoke with feeling. “You do not know me either. Are you truly convinced that our union is a sound idea? Are you not afraid that we shall hate each other, that we will make each other utterly miserable?”

  “Do you hate me?”

  “I do not,” she answered without hesitation.

  “That is something,” he said. “You said I do not know you. I dare to say that contrary to you, I can read other people properly. Before I proposed to you in Kent, I had watched you persistently for a while. You are a kind and sensible young woman who cares deeply for her loved ones. I am attracted not only to your looks but also character and temperament. Were it not for your unfortunate relations, you would be a perfect candidate to be my wife.”

  “I am not perfect, though, am I?” she asked, lifting her chin high in the air.

  “I am willing to overlook that,” he assured her, his expression benevolent.

  “How very kind of you, sir,” she said, looking away from him.

  “Do not keep me in uncertainty, madam. What is your answer?” he demanded.

  Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and spoke in a defeated voice. “If you do not mind what I confessed to you, I agree to your proposal.” She looked up at him. “And I thank you, Mr Darcy. You must be aware how very challenging our circumstances are currently.”

  “It is I who should thank you for your trust and faith in me, Miss Elizabeth,” he said, taking a step forward. “I shall strive to never disappoint you.”

  Elizabeth watched as he reached for her hand. The day was warm, hot almost, thus she was wearing only thin lacy gloves. He took her hand in his and bent his head over it. She expected him to kiss the top of her palm but he turned her hand and pressed his lips to the inside of her wrist. It tickled her a little, but it was not an unpleasant sensation.

  Elizabeth freed her hand from his hold and stepped back. She looked away from him. She prayed for him not to wish to embrace her. Allowing him such intimacies was too much to bear at the moment.

  He must have understood her body language correctly, because he said, “As your father is not with us anymore, I wonder whom I should ask for your hand in marriage.”

  “I have recently turned one and twenty. I do not need anybody’s consent.”

  “Nevertheless, there are still matters which need to be settled, such as a marriage contract.”

  “My uncle, Mr Edward Gardiner. He is our guardian.”

  “I do believe that he lives in London.”

  She nodded. “In Cheapside.”

  “I will call on him this week. If you could write a letter to him, informing him of our betrothal.”

  “Of course,” she said. Suddenly she felt very tired. She wished to leave his company and return home.

  What was she doing? This man, who stood in front of her, had nothing which could entice her to him. Nothing apart from his great fortune. She felt tears brimming her eyes. How much had changed during the last year? Only a year ago she had professed to her sister that did she ever marry, it would be for love only.

  She felt his hand on her shoulder. She looked up.

  He watched her with great concern etched in his features.

  “Will you walk with me to Longbourn?” she asked, thinking that she had to face her responsibilities now that she had agreed to his proposal. “I think that we should announce the news to my mother and sisters.”

  She thought to see a grimace coming onto his face, but it was only visibly for a short moment.

  “Of course,” he said, offering her his arm.

  She accepted it and they began to walk. Mrs Bennet was about to hear news which would surely bring her much delight.

  ***

  Elizabeth walked into the modest room which she had shared with Jane. The single window looked out on the main street of Meryton. They had moved to the new house three days ago. Once Mrs Bennet had heard of her second daughter’s engagement to Mr Darcy, she decided that there was no need for them to stay at Longbourn any longer.

  Elizabeth sat on one of the two single beds which filled the small room almost completely. She tore at the seal and began to read.

  “My dearest Lizzy,

  I hope that this letter finds you as well as your mother and sisters in good health. I can assure you that both I, your aunt and the little ones are very well indeed. The weather here has been less than desirable but we hope for some improvement.

  My dear Lizzy, I will not beat about the bush any longer. You must guess the reason for which I am writing this letter to you. I think that you can imagine how very astonished your aunt and I were when one afternoon a young gentleman, who introduced himself as Mr Darcy of Pemberley, paid us a very unexpected visit. Without much preamble, he straightforwardly asked for your hand in marriage.

  He handed me your letter. I read it carefully. You stated there your intention to marry the man. I gave him my permission. To be perfectly honest, he is the kind of man that I would have to think twice before refusing him anything. Even my most beloved niece.

  You must understand how very flabbergasted your aunt and I are with such an unforeseen turn of events. The gentleman in question, Mr Darcy, professes his love for you, which in our opinion only proves his excellent taste, as he seems to appreciate your many charms. Nevertheless, we remember quite well what was your opinion of him a little less than a year ago. You found him proud and disagre
eable. I assure you that to us he was most civil and engaging on both occasions when he was at our home. After his initial visit, your aunt invited him to a dinner, as it was impossible to act differently if he was to become our relative. He agreed and dined with us three days ago. His behaviour was impeccable and he even appeared to enjoy the company of the children who were introduced to him. Your aunt is of the opinion that any young man who is capable of speaking comprehensively to a child under the age of five is worth serious consideration as a spouse.

  I am well aware, my Lizzy, that you may think that your current circumstances do not allow you to have much choice in your selection of a husband. Your marriage to a man of Mr Darcy’s fortune would be a blessing to your mother and sisters, but I advise you strongly to reconsider it carefully. Once married to him, you shall not have the opportunity to go back. You shall be bound to this man forever.

  My darling wife tells me that Mr Darcy cannot be such a horrible man, as we heard of him during our last stay in Longbourn at Christmas. Growing in Lambton, only five miles from Pemberley, Madeline heard much of the Darcys, although she was never introduced to them. She assured me that Mr Darcy’s parents were an example of good masters and excellent people, as well as a loving marriage. She refuses to believe that their only son might differ so very much from them.

  For the last two days Mr Darcy and I discussed the content of your marriage contract. I visited him in his townhouse when he greeted me in the presence of his solicitor. I must tell you, my Lizzy, that Mr Darcy is willing to be more than generous towards you, especially taking into consideration that you bring nothing into the union apart from you charm, beauty, intelligence and good heart. Not many men would appreciate those qualities when they are not supported with a healthy dowry.

  I enclose to you the copy of the contract. I do believe that it is pretty straightforward, but if you do not comprehend something, I shall be more than happy to explain it to you.

  Elizabeth closed the letter. She did not wish to read any legal documents. She trusted her uncle. She hid the letter inside the book which she kept on the nightstand. She looked around the room, her eyes stopping on the bare walls and uneven flooring. They had enough money to put new wallpapers in the drawing room downstairs but, here they had to settle with a good cleanup and painting everything white.

  Should she take her uncle advise and one more time reconsider her situation? She knew that it was too late to do that. She had given her word to Mr Darcy. She would not go back on it.

  She lay back on the bed, staring at the cracks on the ceiling. She felt as if she was on the verge of an abyss about to fall into uncharted waters.

  Chapter Three

  Elizabeth stood next to Mr Darcy, arm in arm. Their new drawing room was quite large, especially for the townhouse at Meryton where all the houses by the main street were rather narrow. However, Mr Darcy with his tall, broad-shouldered silhouette made the room appear smaller.

  Mrs Bennet was welcoming him effusively. She praised him shamelessly and laughed almost uncontrollably. Darcy bore Mrs Bennet’s attention with a stony face while Elizabeth turned beetroot red at her mother’s obvious silliness.

  Thankfully, Mrs Bennet remembered that there was some important matter she had to discuss with the housekeeper which they currently did not have. She left them all alone, and Elizabeth was certain that she would not return for a long time, allowing them as much privacy as Darcy wished for.

  An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Darcy kissed her hand and kept it within his, not allowing her to free it. Elizabeth’s blush deepened even more. What was she doing here with that man? He was a stranger to her. She felt her throat tightening. She could not even speak to him.

  “Shall we take a seat?” he proposed to her.

  They took a seat on the sofa. Her hand was still encompassed in both of his.

  He raised her hand to his lips, kissing it again, and said, “I am pleased to inform you that I settled all the details of the marriage contract with your uncle.”

  “I am aware of that,” she said, swallowing in an attempt to relax her vocal cords. “I received a letter from him yesterday. He wrote to me about your generosity.”

  “I only wish to protect you in case something happens to me.”

  Elizabeth looked at her hand imprisoned between both of his. It appeared to be very small.

  The arrival of the maid with the tray allowed Elizabeth to free her hand. The servant retreated from the room almost as soon as she entered. Elizabeth guessed that those were her mother’s exact instructions, not the interrupt them. She busied herself with fixing tea. They drank it in silence.

  “I was rather surprised to see one of your sisters at Mr and Mrs Gardiner’s house,” Darcy mentioned.

  “Yes, Lydia. Uncle Gardiner was kind enough to invite her for an extended visit. After Papa’s death, she was very distraught. Mama thought that it was a wise idea for Lydia to spend some time in London.”

  “She is the youngest. She must have taken your father’s death very hard indeed.”

  Elizabeth forced a smile. “You misunderstood the situation, I believe. Before Papa’s accident, she received an invitation to join the wife of Colonel Forster in Brighton for summer. She was promised that she would go, staying there for the entire summer. Papa’s accident changed everything. It was understandable to all of us that her trip must be cancelled. Lydia did not take the decision very well. Even Mama could not accept the great deal of resentment which Lydia began to display. Mr Gardiner thought that it would be the best for everyone if Lydia had a change of scenery after all. He hoped to be able to rein her behaviour in if only a little.”

  “I see,” Darcy said diplomatically.

  Elizabeth looked up at him. She was thankful that he refrained himself from further comment. She dreaded to ask how Lydia behaved in London and what he had witnessed.

  Darcy finished his tea and reached for Elizabeth’s hand again. “We must discuss many matters, my dear,” he said.

  Elizabeth stiffened upon hearing the endearment coming from his mouth. She put on a pleasant expression on her face. “I am listening, sir.”

  He kissed her hand. “Fitzwilliam, please.”

  She cleared her throat. “Fitzwilliam.”

  Darcy talked of the immediate plans for their future. He spoke well but he never asked for her opinion. He simply announced his decisions to her.

  As Elizabeth listened, she considered whether she would be able to carve her own independence in the future. Would she be entirely dependent on Darcy’s whims and his vision of what was good for her?

  ***

  “Purvis Lodge? We are to live in Purvis Lodge?” Mrs Bennet exclaimed.

  “Yes, Mama,” Elizabeth said. “Mr Darcy asked me to tell you that he spoke with the agent of Purvis Lodge. Once the house is refreshed you, Jane, Kitty and Mary can move in there.”

  “Purvis Lodge…” Mrs Bennet said, her eyes wide.

  “Yes, Mama.”

  Mrs Bennet looked around, her gaze pausing on her daughters. “Purvis Lodge?” she whispered.

  “Yes, Mama,” Elizabeth repeated for the third time. “Mr Darcy has decided to help our family. He wishes to ensure better living conditions for you and my sisters.”

  Mrs Bennet clasped her hands together. “Mr Darcy! Our saviour! I must thank him, thank him this instant. Where is he?”

  “He is in London, Mama,” Elizabeth explained.

  “Why is he not here?” her mother demanded.

  “He is on business in town.”

  “I do not understand why he does not come here more often. He should spend more time with you. You should encourage him more, Lizzy.” Mrs Bennet winked at her second daughter. “All my friends wish to invite Mr Darcy for dinner.”

  Elizabeth knew well Darcy’s attitude towards the people of Meryton. She was certain that he would be less than willing to enjoy the evening at the house of her aunt, Mrs Phillips, or one of her mother’s friends, Mrs Long. />
  “I am certain that Mr Darcy is very busy with his many obligations while in London,” Jane suggested.

  “Naturally, Jane, you are always on point,” Mrs Bennet agreed eagerly. “Mr Darcy is an important man and carries much responsibility on his shoulders. Not quite like some other young men who in truth have nothing to do with their time and they scrap for any invitation.”

  Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Since the news of their engagement, Darcy could do nothing wrong in her mother’s view.

  “Purvis Lodge,” Mrs Bennet spoke dreamily. “I have always considered it to be the most handsome house. Lady Lucas shall be envious of me. I can even invite her to my new house.” She clasped her hands, giggling happily.

  Elizabeth stood up from her seat and walked to the window. She looked out into a busy street of Meryton. No one apart from Jane seemed to remember that it was she who was giving away her live, agreeing to move to another part of the country to be wife to a man whom she knew very little and had no feelings for.

  ***

  On the first Sunday of October, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley, Derbyshire, and Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn, Hertfordshire, were wedded in an intimate ceremony in the church in Meryton.

  Due to the mourning of the bride, the number of wedding guests was limited to the closest family. On the bride’s side of the family only her sisters, mother, her uncle Mr Gardiner, as well as Mr and Mrs Phillips were present. On the groom’s side there were only three people: Mr Charles Bingley, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Georgiana Darcy.

  The wedding breakfast took place in Purvis Lodge. Even though the Bennets had not moved there yet, Mrs Bennet decided that they must invite the guests there. It would be quite impossible to fit even the small number of people in the drawing room of the townhouse in Meryton which the family currently occupied.

  The ceremony itself was a sombre affair. The bride wore black from head to toe, the same as the rest of her family. She was calm and quiet, speaking only when it was necessary. The groom appeared rather impatient to be finished with this wedding business and be alone with his wife.