Dublin's Fair City

by Cathy Mansell

  As he neared Tamworth, with its busy roundabouts and byways, he put Aileen from his mind to concentrate on the day ahead. In the mirror, he practised his salesman’s persona. He was adept at getting it right. Must keep the clients sweet, keep a cool head and, by whatever means, bring back as many new orders as he could get. It was dog-eat-dog out there these days, and he knew he was good at what he did.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Saying goodbye to Dermot proved much harder than Aileen had expected. They had clung together, and she had cried at the parting. Her da, although he hadn’t come to see her off, wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head as he had in the past, and told her to take care of herself.

  The journey across the Irish Sea was rough. And by the time she finally stepped off the train at New Street station, she felt exhausted, vowing never to do the journey again. She jostled her way through the crowds towards the exit and out onto the busy street. Taxis drew up and car doors slammed, but Aileen only had enough money for the bus. She paused briefly to catch her breath, dropping her case by her feet.

  When she glanced up, Roy Pickering was at her side. Taken aback by his sudden appearance, she picked up her case and turned away. If only she had spotted him earlier, she could have dashed for the Ladies.

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  He placed his hand on her arm, and she shrugged it off. ‘I’ve come to pick you up.’ He reached for her case, and she gripped it tighter. ‘My car’s around the corner, come on. Let me help you.’

  ‘Just go away, will you? My bus will be here soon.’

  ‘Don’t be like that. You look shattered. I’ll drop you off. I’m going that way.’

  Where they stood, they were blocking the pavement and drawing attention. Sighing, Aileen backed into a doorway. ‘You’ve got a nerve, after the way you spoke to me on the phone.’

  ‘Aileen, what are you talking about?’

  ‘You know perfectly well. We’re no longer friends. You made that clear when I phoned you at home.’

  ‘What?’ He frowned. ‘When, when was that? I’ve been away.’

  ‘Look, Roy, I’m tired.’ She moved along towards the bus stop.

  ‘I never took a call from you at home.’ He rubbed the side of his face.

  She shook her head. She felt cold, hungry, and fit to drop. People pushed past them.

  ‘Please, sit in the car, we can talk there.’

  ‘Go away and leave me alone.’ She turned away from him.

  He continued to pursue her, moving closer. ‘Aileen, can you remember what day it was that you phoned?’

  ‘It makes no difference.’

  ‘It does.’

  ‘Friday, it was Friday. I rang to tell you to leave me alone, and I’m telling you now. There’s no future for us. And why were you stalking my lodgings? I’m so angry with you for upsetting Mary.’

  ‘That wasn’t me. I did none of those things.’

  A few more people had gathered by the bus stop, and she felt her shoulders relax. He linked his fingers. ‘It could only have been my brother, Harold. He’s… well… he’s got problems. He’s also very protective of Mother.’ He sighed.

  ‘How did he know about me and where I live?’

  ‘I’m afraid Mother must have told him. With hindsight, I’d never have mentioned you.’ He moved closer in the queue, continuing to plead with her.

  Aileen had stopped listening. She could see the bus behind a row of traffic, and when it finally arrived at the stop she sighed and blew out her breath, but her heart still raced.

  Determined to get away from him, she struggled to get her case onto the bus. He tried to help her, but she brushed him aside. The conductor took it from her and placed it in the luggage compartment under the stairwell, and she hurried upstairs.

  ‘Aileen, wait!’ he called after her, as the bus moved away.

  A woman chatted to her non-stop about the weather and the price of coal, but Aileen couldn’t rise above a nod and she was glad when the woman got off.

  She had been looking forward to coming back to Birmingham; now Roy Pickering had put her in a bad mood. It had infuriated her to find him waiting for her and she didn’t want to believe him, yet he had an answer for everything and now she didn’t know what to believe. Either way, he meant nothing to her.

  She alighted the bus and walked through the side streets, glancing over her shoulder until she arrived at the top end of the avenue. She looked down at the empty street. It looked longer to her today. She placed her case down to stretch her shoulders and flex her fingers before walking on.

  With every step, she expected to see his car parked up waiting for her. When it wasn’t, she found renewed energy and her gait quickened. The walk helped her to regain her composure before arriving at Mary’s. She hoped her landlady was home. She didn’t want to be alone with the possibility of Roy hanging about outside. Quickly glancing over her shoulder, she pushed her key into the lock and went inside.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  She placed her luggage in the hall and Mary came to greet her. When she clung to the older woman longer than was necessary, Mary held her at arm’s length and gave her a puzzled look. ‘Yea look tired, so yea do. The kettle’s on. I’m sure yea could murder a cuppa.’

  The way she was feeling, a cup of tea would be lovely and then she would go to bed and sleep for a month. Mary placed cups and plates on the table. ‘Well, sure, how was everyone back in the old country?’

  ‘Good. They were all really well, thanks, Mary, especially Da. He seemed pleased to see me.’

  ‘I should think so, too.’ She poured the tea. Aileen’s mouth felt dry as she milked and sugared it, then she sipped the hot liquid, warming her hands on the mug. ‘Anyways, more importantly, did he sell the draper’s shop?’

  ‘Yes, he did, unfortunately. He’s running a sweet shop with Lizzy.’

  Mary’s mouth dropped. ‘No! A sweet shop! What in the name of God did he do that for? And with her! It’s not as if she’s loaded, or has property that would have influenced his decision.’

  ‘What do you mean? Da’s self-reliant, or at least, he was.’ Aileen grumbled. ‘More like the other way round.’

  ‘I’m just sayin’. I wonder what made ‘im do it?’ Mary shook her head. Aileen felt a stab of pain at the reminder. ‘I’m sorry, love.’ Mary looked contrite, and she placed her hand on Aileen’s arm. ‘Me and me big mouth.’

  Aileen stifled a yawn. ‘I’ve lost my home, Mary. And worse still, I think he’ll regret it. From what I’ve seen of Lizzy, she’s not right for my da.’ She sighed. ‘She’s a forceful woman, and she made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t want me around.’

  ‘She said that? The vindictive bitch.’

  Aileen stretched her back. ‘If it’s all right with you, Mary, can I stay here for a while longer?’

  ‘Course yea can. I’ve got used to having yea round.’

  ‘The problem is, I’m anxious to find out more about my brother, and I can’t do that from over here.’

  ‘Why? Have yea found sommat out then?’

  Aileen told her about the strange nun she had met, and Mary was horrified. ‘If I were you, I’d goo back and see that Miss Fish, or whatever she calls herself. Sounds fishy to me.’

  Aileen laughed. ‘It’s Finch.’ Mary was always getting names mixed up, and Aileen found it endearing. The woman had become like a second mother to her.

  ‘Yea look bushed, love. Why don’t yea go for a lie-down?’ Mary stood up. ‘I’ve prepared something to eat, but it can wait until later if yea like.’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I’d rather eat first, thanks.’ She had to tell Mary about Roy, and was dreading her reaction. He could be so unpredictable, and could easily come looking for her. She took a deep breath and started. ‘There’s something I need to tell you first.’

  ‘This sounds ominous,’ Mary said, and began to put food on the table.

  Over a delicious ham salad with homemade bread, Ail
een told Mary about Roy turning up at the station to meet her. ‘And yea believe ‘im, do yea?’

  Aileen shrugged. ‘I really don’t know, Mary. He's very convincing.’

  Mary polished off a piece of tasty ham while Aileen struggled to keep her eyes open. ‘I wouldn’t believe a word that comes from that man’s mouth.’

  ‘He was the last person I expected to see when I got off the train.’

  Mary shook her head and folded her arms. ‘Well, you’ve a lot to learn about men like ‘im. So, does this brother of his have a black Ford then?’

  ‘Apparently. He said he copies everything, even his clothes.’ Aileen glanced up. ‘To be honest, Mary, I half expected him to come behind me as I walked down the avenue.’

  ‘Whether he’s telling the truth or not, you did the right thing making your own way.’

  ‘I’m wrecked, Mary. Let’s not talk about him.’ Now that she was back, Roy Pickering was again causing discord between herself and Mary.

  ‘I’m just looking out for yea, love.’

  ‘I know that, and I’m grateful. But I’m not stupid. I can take care of myself.’ Aileen stood up.

  ‘Aye, yea’d better get some kip before yea drop.’

  * * *

  Aileen heard nothing more from Roy. His unnecessary visits to the office stopped, and any calls he made went straight through to Miss Grimshaw. Aileen couldn’t have been happier. His name was no longer mentioned at home between herself and Mary, and Aileen’s focus was on ways to find her brother. But to carry out her plans she needed to be in Dublin, and Christmas seemed ages away.

  Weeks later, Aileen was helping Mary with the housework, and in the afternoon, they went to the local launderette to wash and dry the clothes.

  ‘You know you should go out and mix with people your own age,’ Mary said, as they folded the sheets and placed them in the wash basket. ‘I’m sure that young feller of yours wouldn’t mind.’

  ‘Of course he wouldn’t.’ Aileen picked her winter jumper and placed it into the large dryer along with her work skirts, and pushed the coins into the slot. ‘I’m saving for Christmas.’

  ‘Are yea thinking of going home again then?’

  ‘Dermot wants me to. His older brother, who has been studying for the priesthood, is now newly ordained.’

  ‘Really!’

  ‘Yes. Dermot would like me to meet him when he comes home at Christmas.’

  ‘His mam and dad must be proud. You’ll have to watch your p’s, and q’s, so.’ Mary laughed.

  ‘I know. Dermot says his mam talks of nothing else.’

  ‘Have you heard ought from your da?’

  Aileen shook her head. ‘He asked me to keep in touch, and I’ve written a few times, yet I’ve not heard a word from him. Do you think he’s all right?’

  ‘Well, yea know what some men are like. Wouldn’t write a letter to save their life.’ Mary went and sat on the plastic chair. ‘Pass me the Tit-bits magazine, will yea, love? Me dogs are killing me.’

  * * *

  Mary was in bed with a chesty cough, and Aileen was in the kitchen pouring hot water into a mug of Lemsip when she heard the clatter of the post through the letterbox. She stirred the liquid and took it with her into the hall. A small stack of letters lay on the Bless this House mat, and she took them upstairs.

  Mary was sitting up in bed, and Aileen placed the hot drink down on the bedside table. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Oh, I’m fine. What have you got there? More bills, I reckon.’ She removed the elastic band and fanned them out. ‘There’s one here for you, love.’

  Aileen’s heart skipped when she recognised her father’s handwriting. Leaving Mary comfortable, she clutched the letter to her and went to her room. She had waited so long for a letter from him that she opened it slowly, fearful of what it might contain.

  My dearest Aileen,

  I hope this letter finds you well. Forgive my tardiness in writing to you. After you had returned to Birmingham, you left me a great deal to think about. I’m not the best at expressing my feelings verbally, or otherwise. I have to admit that it is difficult for me to do so now.

  I’m grateful for the way in which you took the news of my sharing the shop’s accommodation with your aunt. I know it can’t be easy for you. The drapers wasn’t doing as well as you might have thought, even when your mother was alive. We’d have sunk had I not gone in with Lizzy’s suggestion, and I’m pleased I did now.

  Since your mother’s deathbed confession, I have been distraught, unable to even speak of it in the hopes that it wasn’t true. It’s only now that I can…

  On the morning your ma passed away, while we waited for the parish priest, she told me what she was about to confess. It knocked me for six. I couldn’t speak. Not even to say goodbye. I remember how she struggled to get the words out, mumbled a lot, and I couldn’t catch every word. ‘We… had… a son, Jonny,’ she gasped. ‘Aileen’s twin. I… I… left… him behind.’ She could hardly breathe, and I eased her head back on the pillow. Then the priest came up. I was stunned, as if all the life had been knocked out of me. I don’t know why she left him. I don’t know why…

  I remembered how she checked herself out of that clinic before I got to her. Said she wanted to get back to her own bed. At the time, I thought nothing of it, glad to have you both home. After all we’d shared, I couldn’t believe that Jessie would keep secrets from me. Goes to show you can never really know anyone. I felt so angry, like I might explode if I didn’t keep a lid on it.

  Rightly so, you want to find your brother, and I’ll help you all I can. I’ve refrained from mentioning any of this to Lizzy, at least until we know the outcome.

  Your loving Da

  It was obvious that he had written it over several days, because it was three pages long. Now the ink was smudged with her tears. Unable to take it in, she read it through again. She was a twin, and her ma had rejected her brother? It didn’t make sense. He must be alive somewhere, why else would her mother have asked her to find him?

  Her head felt like it was about to burst. She massaged her temples against a headache that made her feel sick. Her mind raced. How could her lovely ma have rejected her brother? Why? There had to be a good reason.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  By Saturday, Mary was up and about again and swore the Lemsip had cured her.

  ‘You still need to take it easy,’ Aileen told her.

  ‘Sure, I’m grand. Have yea thought any more about Christmas? Me sister’s doing the honours this year, and she said you’d be welcome.'

  ‘Thanks. That’s kind of her, Mary, but I’m going to check out the travel agent today, see how much a return flight to Dublin will cost.’ She sighed. ‘I’ve never flown before and, to tell the truth, that plane crash at Luton has made me nervous.’

  ‘Oh, yea don’t want to dwell on that. When yer times up, there’s not a lot yea can do about it.’

  Aileen frowned. ‘Well, I’m willing to risk it. I can’t wait to see Dermot and my da again, especially now he’s talking about ma.’

  ‘I still can’t believe it of Jessie. She wouldn’t just abandon a babby like that. It wasn’t in her nature. Someone must know what happened.’

  ‘I intend to find out, and while da is in this frame of mind, we can work together and get to the bottom of it.’

  ‘Aye, but that might prove difficult with Lizzy. If she gets a sniff of any gossip, she’ll sharpen her tongue on it.’

  Aileen nodded. She couldn’t imagine her da discussing her ma with anyone. ‘Well, unless there’s anything else you want me to do round here, I’m off to town.’ She put on her jacket and wrapped up warmly against the cold. ‘Would you like anything brought back?’

  Mary plucked a list from behind the clock. ‘Can yea get me these few bits? It’ll save me legs.’ She opened her purse and handed Aileen a pound note.

  * * *

  There was an icy chill in the air that made her shiver, and she wished she’d worn
her long coat. Frost was forecast for tonight, and Mary had left an extra blanket on her bed.

  At the travel agents, she discovered she could afford a flight with Aer Lingus if she waited another week. After jotting the details down, she left. All she had to do was appeal to Miss Grimshaw’s better nature when she asked for a couple of extra days off over Christmas.

  Later, with the shopping done, shivering inside her jacket, she made her way back. She was halfway along the avenue when Roy’s car pulled up alongside her.

  ‘Hey, Aileen!’ he called through the car window. ‘How are you doing? Sorry, I’ve not been in touch. I’ve been busy.’

  ‘I’m grand, Roy. And you?’ She tried to act normally, but she wasn’t interested in standing in the cold talking to him.

  ‘I’m a bit down, to be honest. I’d love a chat with you. Are you free to come for a coffee?’

  She shook her head and carried on walking. ‘I’m sorry, Roy, I’ve a lot to do.’

  ‘Oh, come on. It’s been weeks. I feel lousy about what happened.’

  She shrugged and continued walking, but he cruised along next to her. ‘I wouldn’t ask, only I buried a close friend yesterday and I need cheering up.’ He offered a watery smile. ‘Please, Aileen, just half an hour for a coffee.’ Then he added, ‘As a friend.’

  She noticed he was wearing a black tie, and he placed his hand over it. ‘I wear it as a mark of respect. I'll remove it.’

  'Please don’t. Not on my behalf.' She sighed, recalling that awful feeling in the pit of her stomach when she lost her ma. It wasn’t a real comparison, but she still felt bad. ‘Okay, Just a coffee mind. But, I’ll have to take this shopping in first and let Mary know.’

  Mary, nonplussed, clicked her tongue and shook her head. ‘I thought we’d seen the back of ‘im. Why start all that up again?’