Dublin's Fair City

by Cathy Mansell

  One Friday evening, when Aileen was closing the shop, Dermot pulled up outside in a red Mini.

  ‘What’s this?’ Her eyebrows shot up.

  ‘I thought it was time I drove my future wife around in a proper car.’ He laughed. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘It’s wonderful. It’s practically brand new.’ She looked it over, then got in and examined the interior. ‘It’s lovely, Dermot. It must have cost a fortune.’

  ‘Not really. Dad knew I was looking for a car, and he told me about a friend of his who was selling a Mini. I got it at a knockdown price.’ He sat back. ‘The thing is, Aileen, do you like it?’

  Aileen chuckled. ‘Of course I like it. It’s smashing.’

  ‘How would you like to drive it?’

  ‘What? You know I can’t… I…’

  ‘I’ll teach you. Once you have your provisional, you can drive around in it. And we can go to the seaside at weekends, and see how the house is progressing.’

  ‘Oh, Dermot, that would be wonderful.’ They were kissing when there was a sudden build up of traffic behind them, and irate drivers threw them angry looks until Dermot was forced to drive away.

  * * *

  The following Monday morning, Aileen was about to leave for the wool shop when her da came through holding a letter. ‘It’s from Tom, Aileen. I’ve closed the shop so we can read it without interruptions.’

  Aileen closed her eyes as if offering up a prayer in thanks, but still she felt her throat tighten. She sat with her da on the sofa, as he slit the envelope open. He took a deep breath and they both read in silence.

  Dear Mr Maguire,

  23rd April, 1967

  I was grateful to receive your letter and to know that I have a twin sister, Aileen. Knowing this doesn’t make the pain of being abandoned any easier. And the reason I’ve delayed getting back in touch is purely selfish. I can’t bear the hurt of another rejection.

  However, I would like to meet you both. I exercise, for my health, on Sunday mornings in the Phoenix Park, and if you are agreeable, I will wait for you on the steps of the obelisk at eleven o’clock.

  If this is not convenient, please let me know, and we can arrange to do this at a time more suitable to you.

  Sincerely,

  Tom Miller

  Aileen sobbed into her handkerchief, and when she glanced up, she saw sadness in her da’s eyes. ‘It’s going to take time to convince Tom he is loved and wanted.’

  Aileen nodded. ‘We’ll have to tell him everything, Da, and then pray that he will understand the circumstances.’

  She tried to imagine how her brother might be feeling. If she were in his shoes, she would want questions answered, too. But would what they knew be enough to satisfy him?

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  It was a sunny but chilly Sunday morning when Aileen and her da walked through the gates of the Phoenix Park. Her da was deep in thought; she was trying to focus on her brother’s feelings while struggling with her own. They walked along tree-lined avenues that stretched over acres of grassland, with flowerbeds just coming into bloom and hedgerows bursting into life. A grey squirrel climbed a tree, and in the distance wild fallow deer grazed. A cyclist passed along a nearby path. Through a gap in the hedge, Aileen glimpsed a group of young boys preparing for games.

  She shivered in spite of the sunshine and her da remained quiet as they walked further into the park. She knew he was apprehensive, but so was she—and she sought reassurance. ‘I’m nervous, Da, and I don’t know why.’

  ‘I guess Tom’s feeling much the same.' He touched her arm. ‘Don’t worry, just be yourself.’

  His words helped a little, and she checked her jacket pocket for a tissue just in case.

  Tom had chosen the Phoenix Park. The vast oasis in the relatively quiet of the morning was the perfect place for their first meeting, where they could talk openly. In a few hours’ time, the park would be busy with visitors and families picnicking. As a child, Aileen had loved coming here with her parents to visit the zoo.

  She could see the Wellington Monument up ahead. Her da glanced at his watch. ‘We’re a bit early, love, but we don’t want to keep him waiting.’

  Feeling warmer after the walk, Aileen glanced around her for sightings of her brother. ‘Will we recognise him?’

  ‘I’d like to think so, love.’

  As they approached the obelisk with its wide, steep steps on all sides, her da cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. She touched his arm. ‘It’ll be grand, Da. Let’s just sit on the step and wait.’

  They had just sat down when they spotted a young man sprinting towards the tower. Aileen gasped. ‘Da, is that him?’

  They got up and walked across the grass, but the runner carried on. Aileen sighed. They turned back, and Aileen glanced towards the monument. A young man was sitting on the top step, his head down, his hands resting on his knees as if trying to catch his breath.

  Aileen nudged her da, who was looking at the deer. ‘Look, up there, Da.’

  The young man looked down, hesitated, then brushed his hand across his blond hair and walked down the steps towards them. ‘Mr Maguire?’

  ‘Yes, and you must be Tom.’ The men shook hands. ‘This is Aileen.’ She held his hand longer than she should have. ‘I’m so happy to meet you, Tom.’

  She leaned in to kiss his cheek noticing his blue eyes, the same blue as her ma’s. She felt a lump in her throat and took a deep breath.

  ‘I’m happy to meet you both. Thank you for coming.’ He wore a navy running outfit and light-coloured shoes with laces. ‘Please excuse how I look.’ He smiled. ‘Doctor’s orders.’

  Her da cleared his throat. ‘How have you been, you know, since your stay at the sanatorium?’

  ‘As much as I hated being in there, it’s done me a power of good. I’m back at work, and that helps.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  Aileen was taking in every facet of her brother’s appearance. She felt unsure what to say, yet her da was doing brilliantly. She felt lost for words and just wanted to hug Tom and never let him go.

  ‘Are you happy to talk here, or,’ her da asked, ‘would you like to walk?’

  ‘We can sit here on one of the benches, Mr Maguire.’

  As the three sat side by side on the long bench, Aileen suddenly recovered her power of speech. ‘Is running helpful?’

  ‘Yes, I believe so. I was sceptical at first.’ He paused. ‘I also play a round of golf, once a week. A more sedate pastime.’ He smiled.

  ‘They say it’s good to exercise,’ Da said. ‘I liked running myself as a young man.’

  ‘Yes, I think it’s been beneficial since I came out of the sanatorium.’

  Aileen said. ‘I’m sure you have questions to ask us, Tom, and we’re here because we want you in our life.’

  Her da cleared his throat. ‘I want to help you in any way I can.’

  Tom glanced down at his hands, his shoulders slumped.

  ‘I know it will take time for you to accept us as your family. Can I assure you,’ her da went on, ‘we are genuine.’

  ‘Why did my mother abandon me?’ He glanced towards Aileen. ‘If we are twins, and it appears we are, it doesn’t add up.’

  Tears welled in Aileen’s eyes. ‘We knew nothing of this until July of last year when Ma died.’ She glanced at her da.

  ‘I'm sorry.’

  ‘It wasn’t until your mother, Jessie, lay dying that she told me about you. She left a note for Aileen, asking her to find you and to beg for your forgiveness.’

  A host of emotions shot across the young man’s face, but he stayed silent.

  ‘The whole business was a huge shock to us both,’ their father continued. ‘It sent me into months of depression. Aileen was desperate to find you but, to my shame, it took me longer to accept that Jessie had kept such a thing from me for eighteen years.’

  ‘What you say only proves she didn’t want me. Why take one twin and leave the other?’ T
om got to his feet. ‘I’m sorry, I can never forgive her for that.’

  Their father got to his feet and placed his hand on Tom’s shoulder. ‘Please, Tom. What we discovered since your mother’s death shocked us, and you will be, too, when you hear the full story. In tim, you’ll come to realise that your mother wasn’t the monster you believe her to be.’

  Tom sat down again, his breathing a little erratic.

  ‘Look,’ his father said, ‘we don’t have to do all this today. Now that we’ve found you, we’re not going to lose touch again.’ He glanced towards Aileen, who nodded in agreement. ‘Let me drive you home.’

  Tom looked pale as they walked slowly back towards the gates of the park.

  ‘You know what, Mr Maguire? I’ve hated my mother for years, and if what you have to tell me helps to ease how I feel right now, it will be worth it.’

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  The following week, Aileen was in a happy frame of mind and hummed to herself all morning as she worked. She loved being in charge of her own business, and that her da had trusted her to make a go of it. She was happily engaged to a wonderful man who made her laugh, and she had at last met her twin brother. She’d felt a surge of joy when she’d first glimpsed him sitting at the top of the Wellington Monument. There was no mistaking that Tom was her brother, and she had bonded with him instantly. But there was still a lot to discuss, and it was going to take time for him to come to terms with what had happened to him.

  When they arrived home that evening, her Da had been reflective. ‘You know, Aileen, he’s the spit of me when I was his age.’ He swallowed. ‘I only wish…’

  ‘Yes, he is, Da. He's a Maguire all right. And doing what he can to control his bronchitis. You have to admire him.’

  ‘Yes, I was surprised to see him so well. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect.’

  ‘I know he still feels a great deal of anger, but that’s to be expected, don’t you think?’ Aileen put a mug of tea down next to him and sat down.

  ‘I could see the anger in his eyes, Aileen. Sure, what he can’t get his head round is, why Jessie didn’t do more to get him back after she’d discovered he was alive.’

  ‘I know, Da. It’s going to take time.’

  ‘I think he understands that his mother wasn’t a bad person, just manipulated by a callous nun into thinking that he had died.’

  ‘I’ll talk to him some more and hopefully, he will come round.’

  She had been over the moon when Tom had asked her if they could meet again, just the two of them, the following Saturday.

  Today, nothing could dampen her happy mood, not even the irate customer who had stomped into the shop to complain about the knots in the wool Aileen had sold her. When Aileen apologised and replaced the wool, the woman went away looking a smidgen happier than when she had walked in. She was gaining new customers each day, and she had devised a chart so she could watch the sales grow each week.

  That evening, she had her first driving lesson. It was fun, and she laughed so much she couldn’t remember anything. In the end, Dermot decided to wait until early Sunday morning with less traffic. The fewer obstacles, the better, she had agreed.

  * * *

  The next morning there was a chill in the air, though it was already the first week in April. Aileen was wearing a brown tartan miniskirt with a summer jacket and black high-heeled shoes, with a matching shoulder bag. She wanted to look her best to meet her brother.

  She closed the shop early and walked the short distance along the quay where Tom's bus from Lucan was due to arrive. Excitement and anticipation churned her stomach. She was waiting when he stepped off the bus wearing a light grey jacket and a stripey scarf that partly hid his white collar and tie. His black winklepickers, with a slightly pointed toe, looked like they had seen better days.

  ‘Hello.’ He smiled. ‘How are you?’

  ‘I'm fine, thank you, Tom. How are you?’

  ‘Good, good.’ He smiled again, and she instinctively linked her arm through his.

  ‘If you like, I know where we can go for a coffee.’

  ‘Lead on then.’

  It was as if they had known each other all of their lives, and Aileen was sure Tom felt the connection, too. The town was always busier on Saturdays, but today it was positively bustling. Hardly aware of the noisy traffic, she wanted every minute of her time with her brother to last forever. ‘How have you been, Tom?’

  ‘Sure, I’m grand. The new inhaler is a godsend.’ He inclined his head. ‘How…how is your da?’

  ‘He’s your da, too, Tom.’ She kept a smile on her face. ‘He’s fine, and, like me, delighted to have met you at last.’

  They approached the cafe and went inside, where Aileen found a table in the corner and they sat down. The waitress said she would be with them shortly. ‘What do you drink, Tom, coffee, or would you prefer tea?'

  ‘I like coffee when I’m out, but I’m normally a tea man.’

  Aileen ordered coffee and Danish cakes, and Tom insisted on paying. As they enjoyed their coffee, she felt none of the unease she thought she might have felt in his company. They chatted about the charts and who they thought might make it to number one next week. It was as though he had always been around.

  When they had finished eating, Tom leant back in his chair, took out a packet of Craven A—a popular brand amongst young smokers—and lit up. She watched as he drew heavily on the cigarette. Surprised that he should smoke with his condition, she nevertheless kept her own counsel. It wasn’t her place to lecture him about his habits.

  He leant towards her. ‘Aileen, will you come to see a film with me?’

  She sat back in her seat. ‘You mean now?’

  ‘Yes, if that won’t be a problem. Are you, I mean…if you have other plans…’

  ‘No. That’s absolutely fine, I’d love to. I’ll just have to phone Dermot.’

  Tom frowned. ‘Are you courting then?’

  ‘Yes, I’m engaged to be married.’ She held out her slender hand.

  He touched her fingers to glance at the diamond. ‘Umm. When is the big day?’

  ‘Oh, not for a while yet. We’re saving for our own home.’ She pushed back the chair and stood up. ‘Shall we go then? What film had you in mind?’

  He stubbed out his cigarette. ‘What films do you like?’ He pulled on his jacket and wrapped his scarf around his neck then followed her outside. ‘It seems unreal that we know little about each other.’

  Aileen smiled. ‘We have plenty of time to put that right, Tom.’

  They walked towards the general post office. ‘I’ll just nip in here and phone Dermot.’

  He nodded. ‘I’ll wait for you by the bridge. I want to buy a newspaper.’

  * * *

  Later they walked through the city centre, her arm linked through his as if it was the most natural thing in the world. ‘I hope Dermot didn’t mind too much?’

  ‘Dermot was fine. He’s teaching me to drive tomorrow morning when the streets are empty.’ She laughed. ‘He’s not taking any chances, in case I run over someone.’

  ‘He sounds like a nice chap.’

  ‘He is.’

  Tom shook open the Evening Press then moved into the doorway of Tyler’s shoe shop to read the cinema listings. Aileen glanced over his shoulder.

  ‘Why don’t you choose?’

  She smiled. It was hard to decide on a film suitable to view sitting next to the brother she had only just met, unaware of his likes and dislikes. The Sound of Music would have been an ideal choice if she hadn’t promised to see it with Dermot. ‘What kinds of films do you like, Tom?’

  ‘Me, oh, most things. I’m really gone on 007. Let me see.’ Their heads almost touching, he ran his finger down the column. ‘How about Born Free? Would that appeal to you, Aileen? Do you like animals?’

  ‘Yes.’ She nodded, feeling relieved. ‘I love films about animals.’

  ‘So do I, yet from what I’ve heard, this one’s sad. Are
you okay with that?’

  ‘I’ll cope.’

  He folded the newspaper, placed it in a nearby litter bin, and they headed for the cinema.

  * * *

  It was still light when they emerged, and Tom appeared subdued. ‘Are you all right, Tom?’ She paused to glance at him.

  ‘Yes, I’m fine,’ he answered, as if coming out of his thoughts. ‘You know, Aileen, I’d love to go to Africa one day and see the lions. Beautiful creatures, all of them, even the wild ones.’

  She agreed and hooked her arm through his. It was such a lovely moment that she didn’t want to spoil it by asking Tom questions about his life, although she longed to know more about him and the orphanage where he grew up.

  Heading along O’Connell Street, Aileen was oblivious to her surroundings, or that the wind had turned keen, until she saw her brother wrap his scarf tighter around his face.

  ‘What time’s your bus, Tom?’

  He looked down at his watch. ‘There’s plenty of time yet. I’ll walk with you to yours.’

  Although she shouldn’t have been surprised, his next words made her heart skip. ‘What was it like growing up with a mam and dad?’

  She swallowed and looked down; black spots of chewing gum stuck to the pavement like a disease. She clutched his arm tighter. How could she say how good her life had been before their ma had died, without making him feel left out, frustrated and even angry?

  She paused on O’Connell Bridge, turned, and glanced into the Liffey. This evening she was less bothered by the pungent smells that rose from the murky water, as Tom stood close to her.

  ‘I’m sorry, Aileen, I need to know.’ His voice rose above the noise of traffic. ‘Did you ever consider that you might have a sibling?’

  She turned her head towards him. ‘No. Never. I had no reason to.’ She turned her back on the river and leant against the bridge. ‘There is so much we haven’t yet discussed, Tom,’ she said, opening the flap of her bag.

  The note her ma had left her was tucked safely inside a zipped pocket. ‘This is the note Ma left me before she died. Please read it, Tom.’