Flying Free

by Abigail Davies

  He looks shocked for a second and then covers it up, clearing his throat and stepping towards me. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he says in a low voice.

  I don’t answer, I just wait for him to continue. “He’ll be going away again soon and then what will happen? You’ll be left on your own again.” His face fills with triumph, thinking that he’s just made a valid point but I can also see the worry reflected in his eyes that he’s trying to cover up.

  He’s right, Corey will be going away again soon. Am I nervous for when he goes away? Of course I am but that doesn’t mean I can’t be with him just because of his job.

  I’ll worry about him like mad but I know he’ll be able to keep in contact more, it won’t be like last time.

  “So because he’s going away, I shouldn’t be with him?” I ask in a sweet voice, even though my heart starts to speed up in annoyance.

  “He’s gonna leave you again, Ava. Look what happened last time.”

  I stare at him, not able to believe what was coming out of his mouth. Me and Charlie are close, he’s the one that I can call at any time and know he’ll be there for me no matter what.

  When I first moved to college, I’d called him so many times and each and every time he came. No matter how small. Seeing him now, trying to tell me that Corey is no good for me it, lights a fire in my belly.

  “You realize how ridiculous you sound right?” I ask, gritting my teeth.

  “I’m-”

  “No,” I say and hold my hand up for him to stop. “I respect you, Charlie, I really do, and I listen to you about most things but you have no say in this.”

  He puts his hand on his hips, blowing out a breath and looking off to where I know Corey is sitting with Kay. “He’ll break your heart.”

  I shrug. “Even if he does, then at least I know I fell in love and that I got to experience the all-consuming feeling that I have with him.”

  “I don’t like this, not one fuckin’ bit.” He brings his eyes back to mine, a fire burning in them. The clenching of his jaw tells me that he’s holding back, he always does this with me and for once I wish he would let it all out and then we can move past it.

  “Just say it,” I roll my eyes, cocking my hip out as I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for him to tell me what he really thinks.

  “You want me to tell you all the reasons why I think it won’t work?” His eyes flick to Corey and then back to me, squinting as he steps forward. I lean my head back so I can see him better, and wait.

  “He’s too old to start with. You’ll never have a real relationship because he won’t be there half the time. He’s not into commitment-”

  “That’s enough,” I say stepping back, shocked at how he’s talking. I stare at him, wondering what happened to the Charlie who has been there for me through everything. Why won’t he just support this decision?

  The thing is, I can’t stop the little voice in my head that tells me he could be right.

  Shaking my head, I spin around, trying to walk away from what he’s just said.

  “Ava,” he growls, gripping my arm and spinning me back around. “You’re going to get hurt.”

  I swallow at him and really look into his eyes. He’s not doing this to be mean. He’s doing it because he’s looking out for me. I get it, I really do, but he needs to let me make my own mistakes.

  “Charlie,” I say bringing my hand up to his face. “You need to back off on this one.”

  Neither of us move our eyes as we stare at each other, I let him see how serious I am and he shows me that he’ll be there for me, no matter what. “If he hurts you...” he grits out.

  “I know.” I smile and tap his chest with my palm. “You’ll get him, blah blah blah...” I say, rolling my eyes.

  His hand moves from my arm and he steps back chuckling. “Do Ma and Dad know?” he asks, throwing his arm over my shoulders as he steers me to everyone else and I breathe a sigh of relief that he’s letting it go... for now.

  “Yeah.” I nod and smile thinking about when I told Elena.

  After Corey had bandaged my hand up, there was no way I couldn’t tell her what happened. She said that she suspected it would happen at some stage. When I asked her what she meant by that, she shook her head and winked, telling me that I’d realize one day.

  “I’m guessing Ma’s happy?” he grunts with displeasure.

  “Yep,” I say, pooping the p and smirking up at him. He rolls his eyes and pushes me in a brotherly way when we get back to the guys and he goes and sits down next to Evan and starts talking to him.

  My eyes automatically find Corey’s, he’s staring at me with so much intensity that it’s unnerving, I shuffle on the spot, wanting to look away from him but not being able to.

  His eyes swirl with so many emotions as he stands up and steps forward, I’m captivated by him and everything else fades away.

  There’s nothing and no one else here, just me and Corey.

  His hands land on my waist, the pads of his fingers burning through my clothes and onto my skin. My whole body buzzes with energy from him touching me and I have to fight to keep my eyes open from the sensations that he evokes.

  “You good?” he asks in his gruff voice.

  I shiver and nod my head. “Yeah,” I say on a breath, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip as he pulls me closer, every part of my body touching his.

  He leans down, bending at the knees and brings his lips to mine. I moan and grip his arms, needing to find something to center myself to.

  He presses them gently against mine, once, twice, three times before he pulls away and winks. “Been wanting to do that all day.”

  “Ah, come on!” Ty shouts. “We don’t wanna see that.” I look over Corey’s shoulder and see Ty smirking, looks like he’s okay with it.

  “Yeah?” Corey turns to Ty as he wraps his arm around my waist. “Now you know how I feel.” He chuckles, walking us back over to them and pulls me down onto his lap when he’s back in his seat.

  I sit sideways and let my legs dangle over the side of his, resting my head on his chest.

  My heart slows as I sit there and listen to them all talk. My eyes moving over everyone and I get a warm feeling flowing through my veins, knowing that this is where I’m meant to be.

  “Assignments to be handed up front,” Thomas says as his eyes drift to mine. Looking down, I put my notepad away and follow the crowd to the front. I want to be mixed in with them because he’ll be less likely to pull me aside like he tried to do last week after the whole Corey incident.

  To be honest, he’s starting to creep me out a little. For the last week everywhere I’ve been, he seems to be there too. At first, I just thought it was pure coincidence but I can see him watching me and my spidey sense tells me that it isn’t how a normal person looks at you.

  I place my paper on the growing pile and just as I’m about to walk out, he calls my name, “Ava? I need to talk to you.”

  I freeze on the spot, knowing there’s only a few people left in the room now. I’m just about to tell him that I can’t stay when I see a figure walking past the windows to the room.

  I squint my eyes at it, he looks so familiar but at the same time not familiar at all. My stomach dips when he comes closer and stands in the doorway after the last person has left the room, effectively blocking my exit.

  My fingers start tapping away on my thigh, fast and frantic. One, two, three... Four, five, six... Seven, eight, nine...

  “Ava,” he slurs, leaning against the door frame. I can practically smell his stench from here. I look down at him, his jeans hang off his legs and are covered in dirt that’s probably years old. His face is covered in a gray matted beard and looks like it hasn’t been washed in a long while.

  He runs his hand through his long, greasy, gray hair and my eyes follow the movement, slowly moving down to his vacant eyes.

  “No,” I whisper, shaking my head.

  “Ava,” his gruff, broken voice says.

&n
bsp; I don’t reply, instead, I turn to face Thomas, trying to make sense of this.

  “Ava, I can explain.” He holds his hands up. “There’s more to it-”

  “Shut your mouth, boy!” I wince at his loud gruff reply, still watching Thomas.

  He shrinks under his stare and I frown, wondering why he’s reacting like that.

  “Let me just-” Thomas says, stepping forward.

  “Did you not here me, boy?” I turn back to face him, my dad. “You want me to make good on that promise?”

  My head swivels between the two of them and Thomas looks away. He huffs out a breath and turns, walking through the door to his office and catching my eyes as he shuts the door.

  I beg him with my eyes not to leave me alone with him but he doesn’t listen, he just shuts the door.

  I turn back to him and for once in my life I feel like I can take him on, stand up for myself and not take his shit.

  I walk towards him, breathing out of my mouth, not wanting to smell him. Knowing that he’ll smell of dirt and grime and the scent that his pores leave as he sweats out the drugs. It brings back too many memories and I have to concentrate really hard so they don’t flood back.

  I stand in front of him and wait for him to move but when he doesn’t, I squint my eyes at him and grit out, “Move.”

  “I need money,” he says, barely able to stand.

  After these last few years without him, I can really see just how toxic he is. Maybe him giving me away to cover his drug debts was a good thing. After all, it did lead me to the family that I have now.

  I frown as I start to think what would have happened if he hadn’t given me away. Would I be a druggie myself? Possible selling myself on the streets so I can pay for my next hit.

  I shake the images from my head, grimacing.

  Even though I’ve been through a lot, maybe I was meant to so that I could have a better life?

  What he did that day could quite possibly be the only thing that he ever did right as my father.

  “Not my problem.” I shrug and tilt my head at him. “Now, move.”

  He stares at me and what he must see tells him that I’m being deadly serious because he stands up straighter and smirks. “I have some people after me, Ava, they know about you and say that they’ll come for you.”

  I scoff and step back knowing that he isn’t going to move anytime soon and needing to move away from him because he’s making my skin crawl. “As if that’s ever bothered you before.”

  He clears his throat and goes to take a step forward, stumbling and grabbing on to the closest desk and chair, leaning on it. “I never wanted to do that.”

  Jesus, he looks pathetic. It’s funny how time apart from someone can make you see things from a different perspective. There was a time that I wanted to help him get better and I know that deep down, I’d like him to do that now but I can see that it will never happen.

  I don’t have my dream hat on anymore, the one that makes you think anything is possible and that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Whoever said that obviously didn’t have a junkie for a dad. Nope, my realistic hat is well and truly glued to my head now and it means I see him for what he is. The pathetic liar that only looks out for himself.

  “Yeah, well here’s the thing,” I sneer and move in front of him knowing that I can exit now that he’s moved. “You did give me away and you’ll never know what happened to me in that place, the things they did to me.” I grit my teeth, stopping myself from saying anything more, not only did he not care but he doesn’t deserve to know.

  I walk away, stopping in the doorway and turn my head back around to him. “And that’s all on you. Stay the hell away from me.”

  I don’t hang around to see what he’s about to say, I walk straight out of the room and when I know I’m past the windows to the lecture hall, I run.

  My pulse is racing and I need to expel the energy that’s flowing through my veins so when I get to my apartment, I throw on my gym kit and walk to the gym. I nod at Clare and make my way straight to the treadmill, needing to run it off.

  It’s ironic how, in effect, I’m running away from my troubles, just like I used to do but I’d rather do this than call Charlie and tell him that my dad’s been in touch.

  He told me when I first moved in with Elena that he’d got a restraining order on him. He’s not meant to come within so many meters of me. Now knowing that he has an inside contact at the college, doesn’t sit well with me.

  I need to see the Dean.

  Maybe telling him what has been going on and how much Thomas freaks me out will help. I don’t want to move classes but if I have to, just so that I can be out of there, then I will.

  One thing is for sure, I’m definitely not going to be telling Corey. He’s the only person that knows exactly what went on that day and he knows that it was all down to my dad.

  I can see now, years later, that what happened should be seen as a positive but it doesn’t mean I don’t suffer any less.

  I may not have nightmares about it anymore or have to hide away because every little sound makes me have a panic attack but it was all still there. Inside my head.

  I know that I’ll never be able to get rid of what that man did to me but I can try my hardest to turn it on its head and take control of the matter, and that’s exactly what I intend to do. That is, as soon as I’ve burned off all my excess energy.

  Pacing from one length of the hallway to the other in my apartment, I wait for Ava to turn up. Daley called earlier and told me there’s been a change in plans. Things have moved to the states so me and the team are needed sooner. The good thing is that I won’t be away as long, a few weeks at most which is a massive plus because I really don’t want to be away from Ava for longer than I have to.

  Daley has hardly told me any details, which is normal because you never know who’s listening so I won’t know the ins and outs until we meet at the safe house. I don’t worry about the job or what I have to do. What I do worry about is telling Ava.

  We both know that it comes as part of the territory but how we handle it is yet to be seen, I just really fuckin’ hope that we can pick up where we left off when I get back.

  I hear footsteps coming closer and I stand right in front of the door... waiting.

  “Corey?” she gasps when she opens the door. “What’s the...” She trails off when she sees my face and looks around, closing the door behind her and stepping towards me.

  “I...” Fuck, why can’t I just tell her? “Look... You know I said that I needed to go away again soon?” I say, raking my hands through my hair and down my face.

  “Yeah.” She frowns, walking past me and into the living room, dropping her bag on the couch.

  “Well-”

  “You have to leave, don’t you?” she says, trying not to let any emotions show on her face but I can tell by the slight pitch in her voice that she doesn’t like it.

  I step towards her and place my hands on her waist, hating that I won’t be able to do this when I’m gone. “Yeah.”

  Her eyes drift off to somewhere over my shoulder and she chews on her bottom lip. I desperately want to tell her that I don’t have to go but I really don’t have a choice in the matter.

  “I shouldn’t be gone long...” I say, letting it hang between us. Truth is, I don’t know how long I’ll be gone this time. Daley said I would be back inside of two weeks but I know all too well how these things can go. I just really hope that I’m back within a month because I can’t imagine being away from her for much longer than that right now.

  “It’s fine,” Ava says, turning to me and painting a smile on her face. “When do you leave?”

  “Tomorrow...” I whisper, moving closer. “I’m sorry, baby-”

  “Don’t be sorry.” She holds her hand up, cutting me off. “This is your job, I knew that when I entered... this,” she says, waving her hand back and forth between us.

  I study her for several seconds, committin
g her to my memory. Her straight, button nose that wrinkles when she’s thinking too hard and down to her soft lips with the high cupids bow. Fuck me, I want to kiss the hell out of those lips.

  My hands tense on her waist as I pull her closer so that her chest is touching mine and I lean down, running my nose along the side of her neck and kissing the sensitive spot behind her ear.

  “Corey?” She says on a breath.

  “Mmmmm?” I ask, moving her hair further back as I pepper kisses over her shoulder and then back up to her neck, creating a path straight to her lips.

  She leans her head to the side, giving me better access. “I can stop...” I say, not really wanting to but wanting to make sure she’s good with what I’m doing.

  “No...” she moans, stepping closer to me.

  Fuck. Me. That moan shoots straight to my dick.

  I find her lips and slam mine against them, wrapping my arms fully around her waist and picking her up. Her legs go around my waist and her pussy rubs against my hardness.

  Growling, I become frantic in my movements as her tongue moves against mine. Turning, I walk straight to my bedroom.

  This isn’t what I planned but I can’t resist her. Her eyes aren’t the only thing that have caught me in her web, everything about her makes me want to be closer to her. The way she talks, so gentle and sweet, but I know how her voice can sound when she’s moaning and fuck me, it’s sexy.

  Pushing the door open with my back, I turn us around and lay her on my bed, leaning over her but catching my weight with my hands either side of her head.

  “Baby? Open your eyes,” I say when I see them squeezed shut. Her chest rises and falls on a deep breath and I watch the movement in fascination as she slowly opens her eyes. “We don’t have to do anything. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah... I... I know but...” she huffs out a breath causing her hair to flutter off her face. “I want to.”

  I stare into her eyes, seeing how much she wants this. I want this, I want it so fuckin’ bad but I can’t help but think back to that day and she must see it because her whole body stiffens.