URBAN: What A Thug Wants

by Shantel Johnson

  She gave him a half smile. She was used to people either being in awe of her place or bringing it down. She never had someone telling her that she should be proud of what she had. After her ex boyfriend made her feel like her accomplishments were somehow failures, she thought that’s how every guy felt, but Lionel was different. It felt nice to not only laugh but have someone make her feel good.

  “Thank you.” She finally said. “You can actually park the car in the parking garage that we have.” She pressed a button on her keys and they heard a garage door open up. He drove into the parking lot and parked in her space. He walked her to the door and she brought him to the front entrance.

  “Before I go, I need to thank you again.” He told her right by the entrance. “You don’t know how bad I really needed that car. You’re a lifesaver.”

  “It’s no problem.”

  There was this weird tension between them. They knew that they said all they had to say, but they both stayed and lingered. It was like they didn’t want to leave each other. Although they didn’t know each other that well, it felt like they were more than just friends.

  “Do you want to come up?” She offered gesturing to her apartment.

  “Yeah, sure.” He started to walk towards her but then he remembered that he left Giselle. He hadn’t even checked his phone but he knew that she must have called. “You know what, I got to get back. I left my girlfriend because of this emergency. I need to get my head together and get back to business.”

  “I understand.” She walked to the elevator. She turned her head to wave bye and he nodded his head.

  “I need to get back to Giselle.”

  Chapter 2

  “So he called you to pick him up?” Giselle asked Lionel as they went to a restaurant. He wanted to take her out to make up for the fact he left her...again.

  “Yes.”

  “And he was wearing hand-me-downs?”

  “Yes.” Lionel pulled out her chair.

  “And then he didn’t tell you anything?”

  “Nope.”

  “Nothing at all?”

  “Nope.”

  “That’s some bullshit.”

  Lionel’s eyes opened wide. He never really heard Giselle curse. He was so used to her being prime and proper, or even her being reserved. Giselle, on the other hand, didn’t mean to curse, but she didn’t get Antwon. The way he was so angry, she knew that something had to have happened. She squinted at Lionel. She had this gut feeling that he was holding something back. When he told her the story all he said was that he picked Antwon, he wore old clothes, and he brought him home. He didn’t mention Antwon’s attitude or him borrowing the car from Tasha.

  “I know it’s crazy, but let’s not think about that now.” Lionel smiled. “I’m out here with you and that’s all that matters to me.”

  “But doesn’t it drive you crazy?” She leaned over and asked. “It would drive me crazy. I guess if it was something worth saying he would say it, but to say nothing? I think that just doesn’t make sense.” Giselle pointed out. “The way he sounded on your voicemail, you just knew that he was going to do something. How does it make sense that nothing happened at all? Something is going on.” She shook her head.

  Lionel was going to say something, but when he saw his waiter coming over, he felt relieved. He knew in a sense that Giselle was right, but he didn’t want to hear it. Antwon was like a brother for him and he knew him for many years. Antwon never held any secrets to Lionel. Whatever Antwon knew or did, it wasn’t that long before Lionel knew as well. He knew that if his friend said nothing happened, then that’s what it was.

  After they ordered, Lionel steered the conversation away.

  “So, your birthday is about five months away. Are you excited?”

  “For what?” Giselle shrugged her shoulders. “To be honest, it’s hard to get excited because it’s so close to the dates that my parents died. On top of all that, I’m only turning 18.”

  “But turning 18 is a big deal.” He wiped his mouth. “I remember when I did, I thought everything was going to change overnight, but it didn’t really.”

  “There has been so much going on in my life, a birthday isn’t going to change much...it’s just going to remind me of what happened.”

  “But you should be glad.” He closed his eyes after he realized what he said. “I didn’t mean..”

  “Did you just say glad?” Giselle dropped her fork. “What part of me is supposed to be glad? Am I supposed to be glad that my parents is gone? Am I supposed to be glad that I’m shit out of luck without them? Just what am I supposed to be glad about?”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you shouldn’t only focus on the sad part. You’ve been through so much but look at how strong and resilient you are. You’re not this weak little thing anymore. The you that you are now, that’s something to be proud of.”

  Although what Lionel said about Giselle was true, she wasn’t trying to hear it. After he made the mistake of mentioning her parents, she shut down. He even tried to continue the night by being extra sweet, but it was effort wasted. Lionel smiled as he signaled the waiter. The dinner had come to an awkward end. He helped her get up, but she was still mad.

  “I’ll get us a cab back to the building.” He told her but she had her arms crossed. He could feel that she still had an attitude. He knew that if he spoke about it, that it would only make it more difficult, but he has fallen for her. So because of his feelings, he had to speak up. “I said that I’m sorry.”

  “I just don’t get why you would even say something like that.”

  “It was a mistake. It was a slipup.”

  “But how can you make a mistake like that?”

  “It just happened. Just like how mistakes just happen, this one just happened! You’re mad at me as if I purposely planned to say it. I didn’t mean any disrespect to you or to your parents. I would think that after I told you about my uncle you would understand that I would never disrespect the dead.”

  “Well losing an Uncle is nothing like losing both of your parents.”

  Just then the cab pulled in. Lionel looked at her and rolled his eyes. He opened the door for her and after they both got in, he slammed it behind him.

  “Hey!” The driver spun around. “Don’t slam my doors! Please!” The driver screamed.

  “I’m sorry.” Lionel mumbled to the driver. “Did you get the directions to where we’re going to?” The driver was about to go into a rant about the way that Lionel slammed the door, but once he sensed the tension, he just let it go.

  “I’m heading there now.” The driver sucked his teeth and glared at them some more before he started driving away.

  Lionel and Giselle sat on opposite sides of the car. They were silent and just looking outside their respective windows. She was still fuming about the comment and he couldn’t believe that she would say something like that about his uncle. He turned slightly and looked at her. As much as he was falling for her, he could feel a part of him starting to dislike her. He just looked at her and thought, How much do I know about her? He had strong feelings for her but the more he looked at her, he realized he didn’t know much about her. They may have had some deep talks and conversations, but did that really mean that they knew each other. The more that he looked at her, the more he wondered about that fact.

  The cab arrived at their building. Lionel thanked the driver and got out of the cab. He would usually hold the door open, but he left it and just waited for her to get out of the cab. She closed the door and walked right past him into the building. They took the elevator to their floor. Lionel took out his keys and headed for his apartment. To his surprise, Giselle was standing behind him. He just slightly shook his head, and got inside.

  “Ma?” He called out to his mother, but there was no response. He looked around the apartment and couldn’t find her.

  Giselle made her way to the bathroom. She walked by him like he was a stranger. Since Giselle has slept over t
he apartment before, she had some clothes there. She changed into her pajamas and cleaned her face. She came back to the living room and looked at the couch. Usually when she stayed over, Lionel would pull out the bed and fix it up for her. By the time she would get out of the bathroom, everything would be done for her. When she saw that it was still closed, it was clear that he was still upset with her. She didn’t care. As far as she was concerned, he brought it all to himself. He had no right to say what he did. She didn’t care if it was a mistake or not. She was just too mad to see that he never meant to hurt her.

  Lionel felt a little guilty for not folding out the sofa, because he was so mad. But when he tried to relax in his room, he could feel the guilt consume him more and more. So he decided to get up and go to the living room. He went there and saw her struggling to open the couch. He reached to help her, but she snapped.

  “Oh, now you want to help me.” She turned around.

  “Why did I fucking bother?” He started moving away. “I try to help a person-”

  “Help? You didn’t do it in the first place. If you really wanted to help me, you would have pulled out the couch.”

  “The fuck?” He turned and looked at her. “Did you forget that you’re supposed to be sleeping next door? It’s a favor that you’re here.”

  “So what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I don’t have to be here if you don’t want me to be.”

  “I didn’t mean that.” He closed his eyes. He was trying to prevent another argument.

  “You know what. I think I’ll go next door for tonight.”

  “Giselle-”

  But there was no point in Lionel trying to calm her down. Giselle grabbed her things and left. He opened the door right after she left, but she already went inside the apartment next door. He sighed and felt himself get a headache. He just went inside his apartment and locked the door.

  Giselle crashed in the familiar crowded room. Although she was mad, she had to admit that she was missing Lionel, but she was just so mad. She saw Laura in the bed tossing and turning in bed.

  “Are you sleeping?” She whispered asking Laura.

  “I can’t sleep.” Laura sighed. “This whole thing with the scholarship has been weighing on me for the longest.” She sat up and turned on a small desk lamp that she had. She looked over at Giselle. “What are you doing here? I thought that you would be next door at your boyfriend’s house.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.”

  “Oh bullshit Giselle. Ever since you started hanging out with him, you guys been stuck at each other’s hip. You’re like Bonnie and Clyde. You only come here when you’re going to school or if you need anything. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing that I want to talk about right now.” Giselle snapped back. “And don’t let the scholarship let you down.”

  “But what about the kids?”

  “I told you, you can’t worry about that.” Giselle sighed. “You have to have faith that something good will happen.

  “That’s something I could never standby. Wait on faith.”

  “Why not?”

  “Just look at my life.”

  Giselle was going to correct her, but she was so tired. It was minutes away from midnight and she wasn’t so used to sleeping back at the foster apartment. Usually, she would be up late talking to Lionel. It didn’t matter what they were talking about, but they would spend hours and hours just getting to know each other. When they weren’t talking about their whole lives, they would just tell jokes or just chat.

  “Well don’t get so down about a scholarship. Most people who get them are usually happy. At least you know what you’re going to do with your life.”

  “You still haven’t figured out yet what you want to do?”

  “Not really. I think I just have to get back home to North Carolina. Once I’m there, I’ll be able to know what to do, at least I hope I do.”

  “What do you mean by hope? That doesn’t even sound like a plan.”

  “I know.”

  “Listen, I know that you and Lionel are a touchy subject but you should really take some time out for you. You need to make a real plan for the future because if you think that you’re just going to go to North Carolina and everything will be okay, you’re crazy. What is it you want to do?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

  “No, stop putting it off. What is it you want to do?”

  “I think go to college?”

  When Giselle said it, it came off more as a question than as a statement. Laura was a bit disappointed. She hated to see someone just drift around. Being through the foster system, she’s seen so many lost souls and didn’t want Giselle to be another one. When she first met Giselle, she could tell that Giselle was a bit spoiled and lived very differently than she ever did. But as she saw how lost Giselle was, it was clear that she needed some guidance.

  “You should go see your counselor at school.” Laura suggested but Giselle just shrug her shoulders. “No seriously, it’ll do you some good. I was lost for a minute and my counselor helped me out.”

  “I don’t want people in my business.”

  “Except for me and Lionel? How is that working for you?”

  “Fine. I’ll do it.”

  “On Monday?” Laura yawned and started to make her way back to her bed.

  “Yes Monday” Giselle laughed.

  Just then they heard someone at the door. Giselle and Laura exchanged looks. Ms. Rita stumbled in. She slammed the door and one of the youngest children woke up.

  “No.” Laura stood firm next to her. “I told you that you can not do that shit here. You have to respect the other people that live in this house.”

  “Little bitch, I’m tired of you thinking that you run this house. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

  “You’re high.” Laura moved back. “Go to sleep in your room, but be quiet on your way there.”

  “You think that you can tell me what I can do?” Ms. Rita laughed loudly. She raised her hand to hit Laura, but Giselle stood up. Ms. Rita saw Giselle coming towards her and she stopped. “Oh I see, you got this uppity bitch with you, so you can be brave.” She laughed wickedly again.

  All seven of the children were awake. The oldest of the youngins, was only 13, but he wrapped his arms around the four toddlers. The three other kids were 6, 8, and 9, and were cowering in their room. They hated Ms. Rita. She would neglect them throughout the year and only pay them attention as soon as a social worker came around. They were glad when Laura started to take over the house. Ms. Rita got high elsewhere and just came home to sleep. Every now and then when Ms. Rita broke the rules, Laura would remind her of their arrangement, but even the kids could see now that Ms. Rita wasn’t going to do anything easily tonight.

  “It’s okay.” Laura smiled at them. “Jeremy,” She called out towards the young teen. “Take all the kids to your room. You can make a cot on the floor for any of the kids that do not have a place to sleep. Remember what I told you?”

  “Lock the door and don’t come out until you say so.”

  “That’s right.” She smiled wider trying to put the children at ease. They all followed Jeremy and soon the door locked behind them. Laura’s smile faded as she saw the children were gone.

  “You go into your room and you sleep this shit off. I don’t give a fuck about what you do outside of this apartment, but in here, you are going to do what I say. So go sleep it off!” Laura pointed to her room. Ms. Rita laughed and pushed Laura and Laura pushed her back. It didn’t take long for a fight to break out. Ms. Rita went to punch her but she moved out the way. Giselle grabbed on her to hold her back, but Ms. Rita shook her off and then went for Giselle. She wrapped her hands around her neck and squeezed. Giselle was in shock for a second but quickly pulled on her hair. Ms. Rita let out a scream. She pushed the drug addict to the floor and started to kick her. Laura jumped in and got a few kicks as well.

  Fina
lly they stopped and Ms. Rita was still going after them. In her drug induced state, it was almost as if she was invincible. No matter how much they were hitting her, she still got back up. Giselle opened the front door and threw her out in the hallway.

  “You fucking bitches!” She screamed and it echoed throughout the hallway. She lunged at them both and they both started fighting. Some people came out in the hallway to watch them. Giselle punched her in the face, but got a hard slap in return. Laura then put her in a headlock as she was squirming around. Ms. Rita reached up and started clawing at Laura. She cried out in pain and let her go. The three of them stood there looking at each other.

  “What the hell is going on?” Yvette, Lionel’s mother said as she got to her floor. She had just finished a double shift at work. She was looking forward to a long relaxing bath and her bed, but she wasn’t expecting to see a fight right next to her door. “Giselle? Laura? Are you guys okay?” She asked walking over to them. She saw the scratches on Laura’s face and the huge red mark on Giselle’s. It didn’t take her long to put it all together. “You have really got a problem.” She said to Ms. Rita. She knocked on her own apartment door. Minutes later a very sleepy Lionel came to the door.

  “Ma, you lost your keys?” He yawned as he rubbed his eyes. He then saw the commotion in the hallway.