Mail Order Bride--Ellen's Conflict

by Lily Wilspur

  “I won’t put him outside,” Elliot replied. “He’s slept in the house every night ever since I got him, and I’m not putting him out now, just because you’re too silly to look away from him.”

  Ellen crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, that just goes to show which of us is more important to you.”

  Elliot got out of his chair and drew himself up. At his full height, he stood several inches taller than Ellen. “If I have to choose between him and you, then I choose him. He’s saved my life more than once, and I just met you this afternoon. He’s not spending the night outside. For one thing, bears, mountain lions, or wolves could come in the night, and we want him inside where he can protect us.”

  “Don’t tell me you’d choose a dog over your own wife,” Ellen exclaimed.

  “What wife?” Elliot snapped. “If you’re my wife, come to me now.”

  Ellen squared her shoulders. “Put that dog of yours outside, and I will.”

  Elliot threw up his hands. “I’m done with you. I’m going to bed now. I thought you might like to take a little time to get to know each other, but I guess you don’t want to do that. Maybe you didn’t want to be anyone’s wife after all.”

  He stomped off to the bed, where he kicked his boots into a corner. He peeled off his pants and crawled between the unidentified animal skin on top of the bed and the blankets underneath.

  Ellen watched him from the fireside with her arms still crossed over her chest. Had she made a colossal blunder? Should she run to him and give in? Should she find another place to sleep? Would he drive her back to town in the morning, put her on the next train, and send her home?

  She stood there a few minutes more. Only the popping of the logs on the fire echoed through the little house. She looked around. Laird blinked his eyes and continued to stare at her. An overpowering hatred for the dog welled up inside her. She would have liked to kick him.

  Was she just supposed to put up with him? Was she supposed to work around this hearth and this fire with that demon lying across her path?

  Elliot clearly wouldn’t give her any consideration when it came to that dog. He’d just chosen the dog over her. This wasn’t exactly the start she hoped for to their married life together. And now it appeared to be over before it even started.

  She had to do something to salvage the situation.

  She tiptoed over to the bed. Elliot lay between the blankets with his face toward the wall. Was there even enough room in that tiny bed for both of them? It looked barely big enough for him—let alone both of them.

  It didn’t matter. It was the only way to show him that she knew her place and was willing to follow through on her wedding vows. She unbuttoned her shoes and her dress. She shed her stiff outer clothes until she stood by the bed in her underlinens.

  The last licks of fire around the logs glinted around the room, sending shadows dancing into odd corners. Ellen dared not look back toward the fire, where she could be sure Laird still watched her.

  She pulled back the coverlet of the bed and slipped underneath it, into the warm nest next to Elliot.

  Chapter 6

  Elliot woke up first the next morning, and his movement in the bed woke up Ellen. Elliot looked across the room toward the fireplace. “The fire went out.”

  Ellen sat up under the skin. “What? How?”

  Elliot got out of bed and pulled his pants on over his long underwear. “Didn’t you bank the ashes before you went to bed?”

  “I didn’t know I needed to,” Ellen replied.

  “I forgot to ask you, before we went to bed, if you knew. “ Elliot crossed the room and squatted in front of the fireplace. He passed his hand over the bed of ashes in the bottom. “It’s stone cold. From now on, you need to cover the coals with ashes before you go to bed. That will keep the coals alive until morning, when you can get the fire going again.”

  “But can’t you just light a new fire each time?” Ellen asked.

  “No,” Elliot snapped. “Lighting a fire takes tinder and matches that we don’t have and can’t afford.” He crossed the room to his coat hanging on a peg behind the door. He took a box of matches out of the pocket. “I’m going to start another fire, and from now on, it’s your job to keep it going, night and day. I’ll show you how to bank the coals tonight, and then you’ll know how to do it.”

  Ellen didn’t answer. She stayed away from him as he set the tinder and sticks into a neat cone in the fireplace. She busied herself with making some biscuits for breakfast. By the time they were ready to cook, Elliot had the fire going. Ellen set her skillet on the hook over the flames.

  Elliot went outside with Laird. While the breakfast cooked, Ellen found Elliot’s suit lying over the end of the bed. He’d taken it off last night and replaced it with hard-wearing work clothes this morning. Ellen smoothed it out and folded it into a pile on the table. When he came back in, she’d ask him where he stored it. He wouldn’t be wearing it to his own wedding again.

  Just as that thought crossed her mind, Elliot came in with her trunk and set it at the foot of the bed. Ellen ran over to it and set to unpacking. She needed her own work clothes to wear in place of her traveling clothes.

  After Elliot went out again, she took advantage of his absence to change. Then she unpacked the whole trunk onto the bed and rearranged everything in it. She put her wedding dress in the very bottom and her traveling clothes on top of it. Her Sunday dresses went on top of them, and her winter woolens on top of that.

  She hung her few work dresses and aprons on hooks by the bed. Elliot hung his everyday clothes there. Lastly, she hung a woolen shawl over the back of a chair, and she set her sewing basket by the fire. She would work on her sewing, darning, and knitting in the evenings when she and Elliot sat in front of the fire.

  Elliot may have gone to bed with the sun when he was single. Now that he was married, they would sit up and do their separate work in the evenings. Ellen was certain of that. They would talk things over and make plans for their life together.

  As she thought about it, Ellen swept the room out and scrubbed down the table. Elliot came back and they sat down to breakfast. He didn’t notice her things around the room or the cleaning she’d done. He must be one of those men who didn’t notice things. She could rearrange the whole house or make any changes to the furnishings without him noticing.

  “I’m walking over to Clive’s this morning,” Elliot announced. “I want you to go out to the barn and milk the cows.”

  “But I don’t know how,” Ellen replied.

  “That’s all the more reason for you to do it,” Elliot told her. “You’ll just have to do it until you learn. Don’t worry. Just take your time until you get it.”

  “What if the cow kicks?” she asked.

  “Take Laird with you,” Elliot returned. “She’ll stand for him, by gum. You see if she doesn’t. She’ll stand ‘til kingdom come, with him there.”

  Ellen started to say, “But…”, but stopped herself.

  Besides, Elliot was already out the door and disappearing down the path between the trees. Ellen glanced around, and there was Laird, looking up at her as though he understood the whole conversation. How did he know not to accompany his master this morning? How did he know to go with her out to the barn? How did he know to slide into the stall ahead of her and take his position in front of the cow?

  The cow stood perfectly still, even though it took Ellen ages to wring the smallest dribble of milk from her udder. The cow never even shifted on her feet. It felt like kingdom come to Ellen, and her hands and arms ached something awful by the time she finished.

  But by the time she finished the second cow, she had perfected the motion of shooting the milk out a little bit better. She succeeded in emptying both cows’ udders and setting the full buckets aside.

  When she finished, Laird released the cow and departed without so much as a by-your-leave. Ellen sighed with relief to see him go. His preternatural silence as he sat there watching, always wat
ching, as she milked the cow—she shuddered when she thought about him.

  She lingered in the stall, hoping he would disappear now that his duty was done. When she thought she’d tarried long enough to let him make his escape, she brought the milk to the house. She didn’t see Laird anywhere.

  Then she had the whole day to herself. She actually enjoyed herself, all alone out there in the big empty wilderness, now that Laird wasn’t around haunting her. She explored the homestead and found Elliot’s stores, his smokehouse, and his sheepfold.

  She would have to ask him about all the secret hiding places he was sure to have around the place. A man couldn’t live in a place as long as Elliot lived here without stashing his tools and his treasures in out-of-the-way places.

  Chapter 7

  Elliot came back with Laird at his heels. He and Ellen worked separately until the end of the day, so she didn’t see Laird all day.

  Inspired by her success in the morning, Ellen got the idea to impress Elliot by milking the cows on her own, without any help from him or Laird. She took her buckets to the barn and found both cows waiting for her.

  But after a few lame attempts to milk, the first cow stamped and backed away from her. Ellen conceded defeat by hunting up Elliot where he occupied himself digging fencepost holes. She had to ask him to send Laird to the barn so she could finish the milking.

  The dog complied willingly. He seemed to accept this job as part of his official duty. He performed his function as Ellen’s nursemaid with about as much enthusiasm as he would have shown escorting a brood of ducklings across a road.

  As soon as she finished milking, Laird went back to Elliot with no improvement on his relationship with Ellen. He helped her because Elliot wanted him to. He didn’t think much of this new prize his master brought home.

  That evening, they ate in the house at the table.

  Ellen started the conversation. “What did you do with Clive today?”

  “He’s shingling his house,” Elliot told her. “I’m helping him by cutting the shingles while he tacks them on. How ‘bout you?”

  “After I finished cleaning the house,” she replied. “I sort of hunted around and stuck my nose into this corner and that. I found some of your secret hiding places where you keep different things.”

  Elliot chuckled. “You only found the ones I wanted you to find. The ones I want to keep secret, you’ll never find.”

  Ellen smiled. “I don’t mind. I’m sure we’ll both have our secrets.”

  “That reminds me,” Elliot continued. “I forgot to tell you. I’m going to leave tomorrow and I won’t be back in the evening. You’ll be here alone.”

  “Oh?” Ellen asked. “When will you be back?”

  “I may be back the next day,” he told her. “But it isn’t likely. It may be two days before I get back.”

  “Where are you going?” Ellen asked.

  “Me and Clive are going down river to hunt a bunch of pigs that are rooting down there,” he replied. “You’ll have to handle things here while I’m gone.” He saw her wrinkle her brow. “Laird will stay here with you. He’ll protect you, just in case anything happens, and he’ll help you with the milking.”

  “I don’t think I want him to stay with me,” Ellen argued. “I think I’d rather be alone.”

  “It isn’t safe for you to stay alone,” Elliot replied. “There are all kinds of wild animals around here who would love to break into the house and eat all our food stores. Laird is the only thing keeping them away. I wouldn’t leave you alone without him.”

  Ellen stroked her fingertips across her lips. “All right. If you say so.” She glanced across the room to where the wolf lay across the hearth. Alone with him, for three days? She didn’t like the idea of that at all. She worried about him more than bears or cougars or wolves or just about anything else in this wilderness. And here he was, sleeping in her house.

  But she didn’t tell Elliot that. He’d made up his mind, and after the previous night, she didn’t dare stand against his dog.

  She finished washing up the dishes and setting the room to rights. Only after she put everything away did she notice Elliot sitting on the edge of the bed, watching her.

  Ellen smiled at him. She had to prove herself to him before he went away. She had to make him value her as a wife before this whole mail-order bride experiment fell apart around her ears. She sat down next to him on the bed.

  She tried to breathe evenly but the harder she tried, the harder it became. She propped her hands against the bed on either side of her, and her shoulders hunched up around her ears. Elliot regarded her dismal efforts to approach him and smiled. .

  He took her hand. “Here. Don’t worry about it. Just relax and be with me.”

  Ellen gulped. “I’m trying to.”

  “That’s the problem,” he told her. “You’re trying. Don’t try.”

  “I want to be with you,” she replied. “I want to show you that I’m ready to be a wife.”

  “I know you are.” Elliot raised her hand to his lips and kissed the backs of her fingers. “Everything’s going to be all right. You don’t have to push yourself so hard.”

  “I thought, after last night,” Ellen stammered. “You weren’t so sure if you wanted me after all.”

  “I want you,” Elliot assured her. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’ve waited for you long enough. I’m not going to send you away so easily.” He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead.

  “I’m sorry I made you mad last night,” Ellen told him. “I didn’t mean to.”

  “You didn’t make me mad.” Elliot caught sight of her eyes widening. “Okay, I got mad. But I shouldn’t have. I should’ve been prepared for something like that. I should have known something like that would happen on our first night together.”

  “I guess I was just a little bit nervous,” Ellen explained.

  “I understand,” Elliot replied. “You had every reason to be, and I should have expected it. It’s to be expected when two people who don’t know each other get married.”

  “So what do you want to do now?” Ellen asked. “Do you just want to go to sleep? I don’t mind if you want to…you know…do more.”

  Elliot turned her toward him. “It doesn’t matter to me what we do. I mean, it matters to me, but we don’t have to force it right away. We can give it some time, if you want to.”

  “But I want to,” Ellen replied. “I mean, I want….us to…at some point. I don’t want to leave it hanging there over our heads forever.”

  Elliot laughed. “I didn’t mean forever. I meant a few days. We can take some time to get used to each other. And if there’s something that makes you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me. I shouldn’t get mad about that.”

  “Okay,” Ellen replied. “Thank you.”

  Elliot bent down and kissed her on the lips. His lips were soft and warm. She expected his whiskers to be sharp and prickly, but they were soft and comforting, like a child’s cuddly toy bear. Her body softened in his arms.

  He surprised her by pulling away and standing up, leaving her sitting on the bed. He walked over to the door and opened it. He stood back and called, “Laird!” The dog’s head swung up from his paws. Elliot swept his hand toward the door. “Go out.”

  Laird blinked at his master. Then he climbed to his feet and padded out of the house into the black night outside. Elliot shut the door and dropped the latch into place. He crossed the room and sat down next to Ellen again.

  A blanket of isolation descended over the house. Ellen sensed the extraordinary difference the dog’s absence made to her peace of mind. He might be lying just outside the door, stretched across the doorstep.

  Yet he was gone. She and Elliot were alone in the house at last. A gentle contentment settled over her. She turned to Elliot, and when he circled her shoulders again with his arm, she nestled into the hollow between his arm and his chest. She turned her face to him and welcomed his kiss.


  Their lips lingered together, tasting and smelling each other in the fullness of discovery. Their breath mingled in a heady mixture of cozy excitement and serene affection.

  When Elliot pulled her down onto the bed and her body stretched out next to his, she knew the passion of belonging to a man in the safety of their shared home.

  Chapter 8

  Ellen woke up in the pre-dawn stillness of the next morning and lay quietly, waiting for Elliot to wake up. The warmth of their intertwined bodies already dissipated in the consciousness of waking. The magic of their flesh combining into a one body already began to fade. Elliot felt foreign and strange next to her.

  She examined his eyelids and the individual pores in his skin until his breathing changed and he rolled over and sighed.

  “Are you awake?” he asked. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine,” Ellen answered. “I was just about to get up.”

  “I shouldn’t be lounging around here,” Elliot remarked. “I have to meet Clive pretty soon.”

  “I wish you didn’t have to go.” Ellen slid her hand across his chest underneath the blanket.

  Elliot leaned over and kissed her. “I have to. If we can get a pig or two, we’ll have enough smoked ham to last the winter. We can’t pass up a chance like that.”

  Their tongues and lips lingered together, savoring the last delicate ambrosia of the night before. “Too bad we can’t spend the day like this,” Ellen remarked.

  “Don’t worry,” Elliot told her. “We’ll have plenty of time for this. We have the rest of our lives together. I’ll be back in a day or two, and then we’ll pick up where we left off.”

  They dallied a little while longer until Elliot finally sat up. “Come on. We both have work to do. Let’s get up and get breakfast.”

  Ellen sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her clothes. “You’ll try to get home tomorrow, won’t you?”

  “I won’t make any promises,” Elliot replied. “I’ll only come home tomorrow if the pigs are gone. If they’re there and there’s any chance of getting them, I’ll stay on until day after tomorrow. You’ll be all right here with Laird.”