Bella Baby

by Renee Lindemann

  “That’s good to hear on both accounts.” He loved his fiancée so much and wanted to hold her in his arms soon.

  “What do you mean?” Bella said confused as she looked over a new email.

  “I am glad to hear that they are making us money. I am glad that in my absence you are checking on our businesses.”

  Chaz wanted to stress that what was his was hers. Bella got the message and swooned a little.

  “We are in this together right?”

  “Hell yes. We are a power couple. I am sorry baby but we are pulling out now. I just wanted to hear your voice. I love you Bella.”

  “I love you too Chaz, hurry home.”

  Bella heard a kissing sound and the line clicked off. She hated being away from Chaz but was happy this was only training. Thinking that she should probably get back to work, she started closing opened web pages. The last page on the Google search caught her eye.

  The real truth about General William C. Caruthers is that he is an abusive monster. While he may have been a decorated war hero, General Caruthers’s downtime was spent womanizing.

  Bella clicked on the link and continued to read. The woman who posted this tirade on a real truth about the army website went on to say that she had an unfortunate affair with the General. As a member of the army, the woman, thought she was so lucky to have a General take an interest in her. In the beginning he was doting and attentive even though he was very married. However the woman later found there was no escaping the General. When Second Lieutenant Juanita Hernandez decided that the affair was over she saw a halt to her army career’s progress. Not only that but the General began to force submission with his fists.

  It wasn’t until I discovered that I was pregnant that General Caruthers decided to discontinue the affair. I happily put in for a transfer. I wanted to raise my child far away from the General and his precious career and reputation. My transfer was denied and I was forced to endure that man’s wrath for most of my pregnancy. Granted I was given a cushy desk job but I was kept out of the line of vision with a job in records. I barely came in contact with my fellow soldiers. During my seventh month I developed high blood pressure that put me on bed rest.

  Juanita goes on to say that after an intense meeting with the General, who pushed her several times, she began to bleed. The bleeding was so sudden and so bad that she lost consciousness with in a matter of minutes. Juanita woke up in her mother’s home in Los Angeles several weeks later. She was told that her premature son had not survived and that more than fifteen blood transfusions kept her alive.

  This man took everything from me, my career, my dignity, my self-worth, but most importantly he took my son. I never had a chance to meet my son or view what I know was a lovely face. My mother had to make the call to get me away from the General once and for all. She knew what I was dealing with and while she hated to make the decision she wanted to save her daughter’s life. I am told that my son lived for three days and was buried in a cemetery near my former base. I have yet to visit his grave because like his father, I didn’t deserve him. I am writing this as an apology to my son for not doing more to save his life. He deserved to live and to know love. The General is not a man to be worshipped or praised. I know I should never have gotten involved with him but from that union something bigger was generated. My son could have and should have been our greatest accomplishment.

  Bella felt the tears before she realized she had been crying. The exhalation of a long breath followed when she reached the end of the posting. There were several postings that concluded the General had been a complete bastard to the women he came in contact with. Several women posted stories of a seriously disturbed man. He was a predator of vulnerable women and used his title to make their lives miserable. Bella checked the dates listed in the posting and after a quick calculation, she realized she just found Chaz’s birth mother. Emily Ann Caruthers was not Chaz’s biological mother. The woman was forced to raise a child that was the product of infidelity on the part of her abusive husband. No wonder she was incapable of showing Chaz any real affection.

  Bella conducted another search and found pictures of former Second Lieutenant Juanita Hernandez living in Chicago. Bella covered her mouth when the picture of the beautiful woman appeared on the screen. This woman was Chaz’s mother in everyway, right down to the amazing hazel eyes. Bella printed the picture and began to cry again.

  Chapter 19

  Bella looked to Kennedy and then to Julie, “What am I going to do?”

  “You have to tell him Bella. This is too big to keep a secret,” Julie responded immediately.

  “I am not so sure. This woman has a life and for over twenty-five years she has mourned the loss of her son. Finding out that he is alive and well all this time might be too much,” Kennedy interjected. Bella passed back and forth as Boxer and Bruiser moved with her. Whenever she was upset they took it personal. Kennedy and Julie continued to stare at the picture of Chaz’s mom, Juanita.

  “Geez, she looks just like Chaz,” Julie insisted. Kennedy nodded her head in agreement. “This is a can of worms that you might not want to open.”

  “I can’t keep anything from Chaz, you know this. He will read me like a book. How do I tell him oh the lady that you thought was your mom was forced to raise you? Oh and you’re the product of an illicit affair. That’s why she hated the sight of you,” Bella bemoaned taking a seat on the couch, much to Boxer and Bruiser’s relief. Placing their doggie faces on her lap she rubbed their heads simultaneously.

  “I would want to know,” Julie nodded her head. “It could give him some insight.”

  Kennedy nodded in disagreement. “That would be like me meeting my mother and finding out she was alive all this time. I would be angry to know she didn’t do any and everything to be with me. Chaz is going to feel abandoned all over again that Juanita didn’t do more to get away from the General.” Bella shook her head, they were both right. Why did she have to click on that link?

  Bella cooked one of Chaz’s favorite meals pepper steak and rice. He would watch her make the meal appreciating all the love she put into it. The thinly sliced peppers of varying colors yellow, green, red, and orange cooked with the onions in the wok. The tender steak was draining on a napkin nearby. As the onions became translucent Bella incorporated the tender cooked steak with the vegetables. The aroma of the food was heaven sent as her preoccupied mind worked overtime. Chaz and Horatio’s training exercises had been extended an extra week much to Bella and Kennedy’s dismay. The men were due home later on tonight or tomorrow morning. Bella wanted to have a few dinners already cooked so that she and Chaz could spend more time in the bedroom than the kitchen. Pouring in the low sodium gravy packet she gave the mixture a quick stir. The six plastic bowl shaped containers were filled half way with fluffy brown rice. Bella tasted the meat mixture adding a bit more water and cornstarch to thicken the gravy. She loved the feel of cornstarch on her hand. The soft texture made her think of baby powder and then babies and then she erased her mind.

  The fact that Chaz’s mother was still very much alive haunted her days and nights. The last few conversations she had with Chaz had been difficult as she was distant. She did not want to give away that anything was wrong but she feared he would figure it out. Chaz chalked her mood up to his extended training. He figured he would spend the next week making it up to her with his face buried between her thighs.

  The ladle helped to evenly distribute enough of the pepper steak over each bowl of rice. Boxer and Bruiser were on standby just in case any should happen to fall on the floor. Bella pushed the steaming bowls to the center of the counter, having learned previously that they could reach food left too close to the edge. Taking out a small ceramic black bowl, Bella scooped the remaining rice and pepper steak inside. A sprinkle of low sodium soy sauce and she was ready to enjoy her meal. The sound of the garage jolted her from her thoughts as the fork of food hung in limbo. Dropping the fork, much to Boxer and Bruisers happiness, it clat
tered to the floor. They descended upon the fork as if it were manna from heaven. Bella was in Chaz’s arms before he could get into the door. If it had not been Chaz the person walking in would have felt thoroughly molested before making any kind of introduction. Chaz lifted his fiancée into his arms kissing her with equal wildness.

  “Oh baby, I missed you so much,” Bella murmured between kisses. Chaz continued to kiss and suck on Bella’s bottom lip. “Damn girl, I missed you too.”

  The only thing to halt the couple’s progress to the bedroom was the sound of the ceramic bowl hitting the floor. Boxer and Bruiser were having pepper steak and rice for dinner tonight. Chaz released Bella who was more worried about them cutting themselves on the broken bowl than the fact they stole her dinner.

  “Boys calm down, let mama get the broken bowl,” Bella admonished. The dogs with lowered heads moved to let her get the broken bowl out of the way before destroying the remaining food on the floor.

  “You two are animals,” Chaz laughed walking into the kitchen. “Ooh pepper steak and rice.” Chaz grabbed one of the cooling bowls and fished for a fork in the drawer. Bella laughed as she place the broken bowl in a paper bag. “Like father like sons.”

  Chaz laughed but Bella visibly blanched at the clichéd phrase. If she told Chaz the truth about his father’s womanizing ways would he be upset that in the past Chaz had been a womanizer? Perhaps not on the level of his father but Chaz had used women. Thankfully he did not physically abuse women. The rampant thoughts cooled Bella’s libido to a frost. Chaz worked extra hard to warm her back up after finishing his dinner.

  “Oh baby yes,” Bella screamed as he teased her with his tongue. Chaz was starting to think he had lost his touch after giving Bella plenty of time with his tongue. He would figure out later what was bothering her but for now he needed to be inside his fiancée.

  “Fuck Bella,” Chaz groaned. All the extra tongue work had opened the floodgates and Chaz was reaping the rewards. Bella’s body was a mishmash of wetness and tightness. And just like that whatever had been bothering Bella vanished. He had missed being able to make love to her for the past two weeks. Now her body rocked against his every thrust as she chased their synchronized release. Chaz loved the feel of the light scratches down his back. “Chaz, baby I’m coming.”

  Those words were music to his ears as he allowed his own loud release. “Me too baby.”

  Bella’s soft whimpers continued as he placed his head between her breasts. Chaz relished the feel of her body so warm underneath him.

  “Bella is everything okay?” He asked when his breathing returned to normal.

  “Yes baby. I had some work crap that was nagging me. I am sorry it spilled over. I was trying to process it while eating dinner,” she lied to her fiancé. She hated lying to Chaz but she didn’t think this was the right time to share what she had learned.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” He replied looking at her beautiful face. Bella shook her head in the negative. “It has been resolved baby. I want to enjoy this reunion.”

  “Okay you know you can talk to me right?”

  Bella caressed his face smiling. “I know baby. I am so happy you are home. Chaz I really missed you.”

  “I missed you too. I am glad to be home. My tongue has been thoroughly worked over,” he laughed. Bella blushed, “I am sorry baby. I will pay you back.”

  Chaz perked upon hearing this news. “Let’s take a bath.”

  Inside the tub Bella recounted her two weeks without her fiancé and he was able to tell her about the training. Chaz could feel Bella doing a good job of keeping something hidden from him. He would get whatever it was from her later. Right now she was living up to her promise and letting him fuck her mouth. “Bella baby, damn.”

  In the bed, Chaz was feeling thoroughly pleased as he cuddled with Bella.

  “Whenever you want to tell me what’s really bothering you I am ready to listen,” Chaz whispered. Bella rolled her eyes and tried to deny that there was anything to discuss. He dismissed her denials and she was resigned to admit there was something bothering her.

  “Can you just let me work out the details? I promise I will tell you soon. I need all the facts okay baby?” Bella admitted and hoped he wouldn’t persist. Chaz sat up quickly rolling Bella to her back. “Bella are you pregnant?”

  “No Chaz, remember I just had my period.” Bella put her hand to his face and hated to see the temporary joy leave his face. In a flash he rolled Bella to her side, snatching off the birth control patch.

  “Chaz! No! Why did you do that?” Bella yelled trying to get the patch from his hand. Chaz was off the bed and in the bathroom threatening to flush the offending patch down the toilet.

  “We do not need birth control. I want a family with you,” Chaz said with joy on his face. Bella tried to get the patch out of his hand but he lifted it above his head. She stopped trying and went to the drawer to find pajamas.

  “You can’t just make this decision alone. We are not married yet Chaz.”

  “I didn’t make it alone. You said that you wanted a family with me.” Chaz took the pajamas out of her hand and placed them back into the drawer. Bella snatched the pajamas beyond angry, “Stop making decisions for me like I am a two year old.”

  “We can leave and get married in Vegas this weekend, if it will make you feel better. I want to have a family with you. I want to know that every time I come inside you that we might make a baby.”

  Bella tried not to let the sentimentality of those words deter her anger. “What makes you think I am ready right now to get pregnant? Chaz we still have to get to know each other.” Bella skirted the real reasons for her apprehension. The thought of him taking assignments and leaving her with a child to care for alone brought tears to her eyes.

  “Bella, do you want to have children with me? I know enough about you right now that I want you to be the mother of my children,” Chaz said, matter of fact. Bella shook her head to the affirmative. “Chaz, what if your other job takes you from your family. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and raising our child alone. Please can we think this through a little longer and then to try for a baby?”

  Chaz reluctantly released the patch and shook his head to the affirmative. He slipped into his underwear and walked to the kitchen. Bella gave him a few minutes to collect his thoughts. Naked, she walked into the kitchen. Chaz stood at the counter drinking juice, looking upset but very sexy. Bella pressed her face to his back and allowed her hands to rest on his chest.

  “I am not asking you to choose between your job and having a baby. I am asking you to give it a little more time. I want a family with you. I am still trying to convince myself that you will come home every time you leave. Chaz, I do not doubt your skills abroad. If something happened to you I am heading to the next mental institution and checking in for life. A child would suffer while I went nuts.”

  Chaz pressed his hand to her hands. He hated when she made a good point. Chaz loved living life spontaneously and while he had a few pregnancy scares in the past, he wanted a child with Bella.

  “Since neither of us have family can we get married soon in Vegas? I am worried I will get an assignment.” Chaz closed his eyes waiting for an answer. Bella processed this and thought about their time together and the new information she had regarding Chaz’s birth mother.

  “Yes Chaz, we can go to Vegas to get married,” she beamed. Chaz pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly.

  “I love you so much Bella. I want to be a good husband and a good father. I have no idea how to do either of those but I will figure it out.”

  Bella fought tears as she replied, “Chaz you will be an amazing husband and father. I love you so much.”

  Chapter 20

  Bella shifted nervously on the airplane. She didn’t mind flying but this mission was driving her nuts. After reaching out to Juanita Hernandez and convincing her to meet Bella wasn’t sure that this was a good idea. Juanita had no idea with what the tru
e nature of their conversation would entail. She was under the impression it had something to do with a revealing book about General William C. Caruthers. In her hands Bella had a folder with pictures of Chaz over the years. None of his pictures included his other family members. Most of the pictures were from Chaz’s early days in military school and the army. She could see the loneliness in his eyes. The pictures that featured the two of them saw a much happier man.

  Chaz was under the impression she was at a conference for the day in a nearby city. She hated lying to him but she needed to find out if this was something she should share with her fiancé. When the plane touched down in Chicago she felt the butterflies reappear. The ride to a downtown hotel was nerve racking and Bella almost bailed. She reconsidered knowing she could give Chaz some answers and it could help him put his ghosts to rest.

  Bella extended a hand to the woman and tried to control the expression on her face. “Nice to meet you Ms. Hernandez.”

  “Nice to meet you too Bella. Please call me Juanita,” she replied smiling. Juanita was still very pretty with shoulder length black hair, those gorgeous hazel eyes, and a sunny disposition. If this woman was still mourning the loss of her son, she hid it remarkably well. The subject matter brought a wrinkle to her small nose but she otherwise maintained her composure.

  “As I told you on the phone, I am trying to find out the real story behind the man, versus the publicity laced information.” Bella took out a small notepad and asked questions. Juanita answered the questions and her emotions shifted dramatically when she spoke of her pregnancy.

  “I know that sleeping with a married man was a bad idea. I was young and stupid impressed by his army rank. My pregnancy was supposed to be a blessing in that otherwise chaotic time of my life. I had hoped to just disappear and give my son a proper home. Losing my son has been my greatest regret.”

  “Juanita did you ever do any research on the birth of your son?”