by N. J. Lysk
It was only when Josh rolled off him and threw an arm around his middle to keep him close that he realised Josh hadn’t actually done what he had gone there to do. Ray closed his eyes, too wiped out to be annoyed. He did like orgasms, after all, and this was certainly better than Gabriel’s need for a repeat performance.
And then Josh’s lips against his neck moved, tickling. It took Ray a moment to understand Josh was speaking, very quietly. If his lips hadn’t been inches from Ray’s ear, he probably wouldn’t have heard.
“I like you,” his friend said, and it sounded like an admission. It had to be an admission, following what Josh had said about liking men, but even as Josh insisted, “I really like you, Ray.”
Even as Ray arched into the soft, feathery kisses Josh was planting down his throat, he realised he wanted to know more. But the words wouldn’t come. He let his eyes flutter closed to focus on the sensation of Josh’s mouth and Josh’s hand sliding up his naked thigh, pulling his shorts down. Whatever else Josh felt or didn’t feel; this was true, he thought. His hands and his mouth and the way he was already hardening again against Ray’s side. He hadn’t asked about himself in particular, himself… before. He didn’t know how.
He knew he was wanted, but he didn’t know how to ask if he was loved.
He didn’t know how to ask if it was him or the omega wolf. But that wasn’t the real problem: he could have accepted either answer—painful as it might have been. It was something else that scared him: that maybe Josh couldn’t tell the difference. And that… that Ray couldn’t bear.
Josh didn’t let him dwell on that for long; his hand encircled Ray’s erection and Ray’s hips pumped up of their own accord.
“God, you’re gorgeous,” Josh mumbled.
He leaned in and kissed Ray, soft and gentle until Ray opened his mouth and kissed him back, sloppy and wet, and not careful at all. And Ray was wet again, still. Josh pushed him onto his back, bent his legs and climbed between them. It left his hole exposed and leaking. All he knew was Josh’s mouth at his throat, and the utter emptiness he needed Josh to fill. His alpha didn’t make him wait long, lodging himself in place and entering Ray with a well-placed thrust that had Ray clenching involuntarily hard. Josh froze on top of him, mouth wet with spit and eyes dilated in the darkening room. Ray saw the alarm on his face before he licked his lips and asked very quietly, like he wasn’t half-buried in Ray’s body, “Okay?”
In response, Ray got a leg behind his buttocks and pushed him forward and, as Josh sank into him fully, he wondered if there was a way to keep him there forever.
Josh hadn’t knotted him, of course. If any of his alphas was capable of being careful during even the most passionate of sex, it was Josh.
If he hadn’t been so relieved, Ray might have found it a little offensive. But that was stupid, he knew that. The sooner he got any fantasies Iesu and Sergi might have got into his head about Josh being something other than one of his alphas, the better.
Chapter 5
Ray wasn’t looking forward to the full moon, but he wasn’t worried either. Maybe because the sex had gone well, or because Alec seemed fairly sure that he wouldn’t conceive even if there was knotting, or simply because he was too busy to worry.
Josh had tried to volunteer to sit with the babies, but Gabriel had overruled him and declared it’d only be fair if it was a draw from a hat. Josh had opened his mouth to argue—probably with a sensible argument about how he loved babysitting—but Iesu had spoken up to give his support to Gabriel’s proposal. That had thrown them all so much that they’d let Gabriel win. So now it was Iesu who was spending the night keeping five eager pups from wandering too far if their parents got too busy with each other.
“Are you sure his wolf will know it’s on babysitting duty?” Ray asked Alec.
“Ray, it’s always done this way,” Gabriel reminded him. Ray knew it in theory, of course, but in his pack, he and other betas had been the ones in charge of his younger siblings and other kids during the full moon hunt. Of course, in his old pack, there had been so many betas, young and old, that they had been able to take turns easily, only missing a full moon every six months or so. “Iesu will stay with them the whole night. None of the wolves would walk off on them no matter what.”
Back then, full moon duty had been something to complain about—pups also got excited—but the good ones had the potential to turn into a party of sorts. There were always plenty of snacks and fresh meat from the hunt, maybe a game of charades of a string of children’s movies in the hall. Sometimes omegas who’d only recently given birth would join the betas in care duty, too, but that wasn’t an option for Ray. Not with no other omegas in his new pack. Omegas might need alphas for sex, but alphas needed omegas to ground them.
If they ever got another omega, maybe Ray would be able to rest during a full moon, but as it was, he needed to participate in the run every month. It was hard work, but it wasn’t safe to leave a bunch of alphas alone when their emotions were running high.
With an omega in their midst, they were guaranteed to choose sex over violence.
&
The night was clear, if a little cold, and the later ceased to be a problem once they were in fur. To the wolf, the cold autumn night felt refreshing and full of possibility. The moon illuminating every one of the paths they might follow, reflecting on the pelt of any prey, and making the nearby lake separating them from Ray’s birth pack shine silver.
He didn’t wait for the alphas, just took off the moment he had paws—his wolf surging inside him like it’d been desperate for its freedom—and the world of smell and sound opening up to him like a new universe. He caught the trail of some rabbits and found himself following it, the plentiful dinner they’d shared already forgotten. The alphas showed up soon enough and it was simply enough to corner a couple of them until Alec could sink his teeth into a leg. Sergi managed a killing blow the first time around. He brought it to Ray as an offering. Ray’s wolf didn’t hesitate before tucking in—unlike his human side, it had no doubt that its mates were meant to provide for him.
He hadn’t even licked his snout clean before he was off again, making the others choose between food and following. Gabriel had probably eaten already because he was on Ray’s heels instantly, playfully trying to bite his tail and nudging his side with his bulkier form. Ray pushed on, overtaking him. He completely missed Josh coming from the other side until they were rolling together on the ground. He aimed a bite at his mate, making him pull back enough that he could roll away, and off they were again. But by then the others had caught up: Alec blocked his path and Josh threw himself at Ray again, tucking into him so their bodies and legs tangled and sent them both crashing. The omega wolf didn’t think the game was over, but Sergi got his teeth around Ray’s neck—just a tug, nowhere near pain—and Gabriel and Alec were blocking him from rolling. He went limp under Josh.
He could smell their interest; his own low-level level arousal, banked during the hunt and the run, flamed up. He squirmed, suddenly needy. Alec howled, then the others joined in.
He shifted back and found he was hard and slick, hole already clenching. And before he had quite blinked the black and white out of his vision, his alphas were following. Josh was half covered in grass and his blond hair was a tangled mess, but he was smiling widely with pure joy. It was so easy for him to get in Ray, it wasn’t until he was arching on his mate’s cock that he caught sight of Gabriel and realised it was the first full moon his cousin hadn’t demanded to go first. He didn’t have long to think of it: his skin was on fire everywhere Josh touched him and his insides felt like they’d explode, the need so intense he could hardly let Josh fuck into him without squirming away. He clenched his eyes shut as Josh finally orgasmed, sweeping him into his pleasure like he was yanking him along into a rollercoaster ride.
He became conscious of his surroundings again as Josh leaned forward and kissed him deeply before withdrawing his hips, come spilling out of Ray’s body and
onto the grass between his legs. He closed his eyes for a moment at the discomfort and the next thing he knew was that Gabriel was on top of him, lifting his knees and lodging himself into his body like fitting a missing piece. He watched Ray’s face as he rolled his hips, so intense it made Ray look away. But this time, Gabriel didn’t allow it. He leaned closer and put a hand on Ray’s face, forcing him to look up at him. Ray shivered violently in his grasp, overwhelmed by the intimacy of it as his sensitive body was brought to hardness again, but as close as they were, he couldn’t miss Gabriel’s expression. He was desperate to come, like any man in the middle of fucking, but he was also… concentrating. On Ray.
Ray scrunched his eyes shut: he couldn't... It was too much. And maybe Gabriel was paying close enough attention to see it because right then he sped up into sharp, short thrusts, nails digging into Ray’s hips to keep him into the right position as he pistoned in and out of him. Ray threw his head back, desperate to come as Gabriel got closer. Too much was happening around him at once: the scents of blood and sweat, his mates surrounding him, and the feeling of his body about to break… Gabriel let out a pained sound and leaned forward to suck on the mark he had left on Ray’s neck as he emptied himself into Ray’s clenching arsehole. And Ray was coming too, his cock spilling again, adding to the mess all over his front as Gabriel’s pleasure washed over him in waves.
A second orgasm in such quick succession was too much for his brain to handle and he lost some time. Gabriel was out of his body when he blinked his eyes open. He stared at his mate, realising what it meant: Gabriel hadn’t knotted him, he had… His lips parted, maybe to thank him, but Gabriel moved aside before he could gather his thoughts. Alec took his place.
Ray let himself be rolled onto his front and got on his hands and knees, just like his mate preferred. Alec was smaller and he could penetrate Ray deeper this way. He entered easily, as could be expected by the seed of two alphas and Ray’s own slick still dripping down his buttocks. Alec moved in deep and fast, again and again. He didn’t try to touch Ray’s cock, knowing he was too sensitive for direct contact after coming twice, and Ray could relax into it. And then Alec froze into one of his strokes, buried fully inside him. Ray tensed under him. Alec wouldn’t… He heard the slap to Alec’s side before he could quite process it reverberating through their joined bodies. There were no words and he wasn’t sure who it had been, but it got Alec moving again and soon enough brought the release of orgasm. It almost hurt, but the relief would have been worth a lot more than pain.
Sergi hadn’t been able to wait for any repositioning, simply taking Alec’s place and shoving into Ray, rutting hard and fast into his exhausted body. It did hurt, but he didn’t care. He just wanted the first round to be over so he could be sure none of them would lose it and knot him. Sergi tugged too roughly on his hips to keep himself buried deep as he discharged, hot come trapped in Ray's passage by his unrelenting thrusts. And Ray was just grateful for the support staying upright—his knees felt like they’d give at any moment and his arms weren’t much better. His own dick trembled weakly, leaking desultorily down his thigh.
He let himself close his eyes after that, and they did what they needed to do: taking turns using him as he lay on the ground. By the time the moon gave way to the sun and Gabriel picked him up; none of them had knotted him.
They helped him shower and tucked him into bed with the pups around him.
He couldn’t ask for more.
Chapter 6
“Are you…?” Ray’s throat closed up, heart battering against his chest. He looked between Josh and Iesu. “Are you serious?”
“Yes,” Iesu said gently. Josh was just standing there, smiling gently.
“Are you sure?” Ray insisted, leaning back against the kitchen counter. He felt he might lose his balance at any moment.
Josh came out of his daze and stepped closer, taking Ray’s face into his hands and meeting his eyes. “Yes,” he promised, low and certain. “He said yes. We can have five betas. Your sister has volunteered and Iesu went around talking to other young betas, so we’ll have a list a mile long by the end of the week.”
Ray exhaled, nothing close enough to a laugh. He closed his eyes, but at least he wasn’t crying. He blinked and tilted his head back, dizzy with relief, and then Josh was enveloping him in his arms, bringing him forward against the strength of his body. And it wasn’t just his body: he had come through for Ray, he had come through for the pack.
After a few minutes, Iesu cleared his throat and Ray looked up and pushed Josh back a little, feeling his face heat up. “Sorry,” he told Iesu, “I haven’t even thanked you.”
Iesu shook his head with an easy smile before Ray could try and hug him too. “No need, I…” He licked his lips, shifting in place. “I do have some bad news.”
Ray paused, then nodded for him to go ahead.
“You have to tell Nicholas and the others that they have to go.”
“Oh,” Ray said, feeling like all the air had been punched out of his lungs, “I… I said I would take them in.”
“Yes,” Iesu agreed, “and now you’re taking it back. Because you can afford to, and Nicholas will be annoyed, but he’ll accept it. It’d have been… a lot for you. He can’t think you want that, not really.”
Ray’s eyes met Josh’s and his friend nodded, reaching to take Ray’s hand in his own. “You have to, Ray. It’s not just for you, it’s what’s best for the pack too.”
And Ray couldn’t argue with that, so he nodded, even if the idea of breaking his word set his stomach churning.
&
The house didn’t have any spare rooms, so Nicholas and his friends had been sleeping in their tents, but Ray had made sure they were invited in for meals. They’d gone past Ray’s borders and camped out in those same tents during the last full moon. It was simply too dangerous to have wolves who didn’t belong when emotions were running high. But they’d been back for a week now.
They had been talking about building a second house instead of expanding the first, since it made sense for Ray to live with his mates and for the new alphas to have their own space to invite their own mates to live with them eventually.
It’d been as good as done.
And now he was just going to say no to all that, to Nicholas’ plans of changing the fence and getting a decent timing belt for Josh’s Jeep, to his kindness and understanding. And he was sorry for it, sorry he was taking back something he had given already, in word if not in deed. But he didn’t regret it: he didn’t want it. The idea that he wouldn’t have to balance having sex with eleven alphas in a single night was enough to make him sit down and shake with relief, without even going into the matter of pregnancy.
Nicholas had come inside gladly, like he had any time Ray had wanted him in the past.
“What’s up?” he asked, smiling at Ray shyly—he could never quite hide his pleasure at Ray’s presence, at Ray’s promise.
“Please take a seat,” Ray asked, and he knew Nicholas hadn’t missed the stiffness in his voice. His expression had gone serious and worried. But he sat and waited. He had been waiting for almost a month already, and he'd agreed to wait even longer to get what he wanted just because Ray had made him a promise.
Ray took his own seat at the edge of the opposite sofa and glanced at his hands in his lap, trying to summon the words to his lips. “I have some bad news.”
“Okay,” the alpha said when Ray didn’t continue.
Ray made himself meet his eyes. He owed him that much, at least. “My uncle has agreed some of his betas can join my pack.”
“Your pack?” Nicholas repeated, voice even but tense.
“I’m sorry,” Ray said. “I know I said I would—”
“You more than said you would,” Nicholas interrupted. “You promised. You…”
“I know!” Ray said. Taking back his word was making him sick already, if it hadn’t been for Josh’s reminder that he was doing it for the pack... “And I’m sorry, b
ut it was my only choice and it was… it was terrible. I’m only one man, I can’t—”
“Do you think you would be the first omega to have a lot of alphas?” Nicholas asked. “How do you think the great packs survived?”
“I don’t want it,” Ray snapped, angry. Nicholas wasn’t his alpha; he had a right to be disappointed, but he couldn’t make any demands of Ray.
Nicholas’ angry expression seemed to shatter. He looked off to the side, stiff as a board, and slowly exhaled. “You are right, I’m… I’m out of line. It is your decision.”
“I’m sorry I’m breaking my promise,” Ray added. “I do feel bad about it.”
Nicholas didn’t look at him; just sat there like he was barely keeping himself from shouting again. Ray didn’t need to hear his heart skip a beat to know he was lying, the sudden controlled calm in his voice gave it away. “It’s quite alright, it’s… it’s perfectly natural that you’d be scared of having so many alphas to please.”
“Thank you for understanding,” Ray replied, ignoring the jibe at his courage. It was perfectly normal to be afraid, whatever it sounded like when Nicholas said it like that. And Nicholas was being moderately graceful about the whole thing, even if they both knew he didn’t really understand.
“We’ll be out of your territory by nightfall,” Nicholas announced, getting to his feet and still not looking at Ray.
“Don’t worry about it, tomorrow’s fine too,” Ray offered even though in truth he’d have much rather have them gone. The sooner he didn’t have to see Nicholas; the sooner he could forget his own mistake.
&
He’d have thought that was enough awkwardness to last him for a while, but it’d been a week since the first full moon in which he had slept with his alphas. The change in atmosphere had been noticeable. It was like a dam had broken: they were all touching him more, aware of his presence in a way they hadn’t been for a while, or at least had successfully hidden from Ray.
