Wolf: SBMC Maryland

by Erin Trejo

  “No, not everything, Krista! Just what you can’t have. You’re fuckin’ givin’ up on me and I don’t deserve that shit. I deserve more than that!” With that, I walk away from her before I do something I might regret. I don’t want to hurt her. I just want her to see what’s right in front of her. Fuck, I just want her to see me.

  “That isn’t fair!” I turn to look at her where she stands behind me.

  “Nothin’ in life is fair, darlin’. Nothin’.” I shake my head not knowing what else to say to her. I can’t make her understand me. I can’t make her see that I love her.

  “I don’t know who I am anymore, Wolf. If I don’t have her to watch over, what do I have?” The tears fall and as much as I’d like to go to her, hold her, I can’t do that.

  “You have me, Krista. You need me to keep tellin’ you that? I can, every fuckin’ day I can tell you that you have me but if you can’t see that for yourself, there is no point in this,” I tell her pointing between us. More tears fall but this is it. I can’t make these choices for her anymore. I can’t force her to be with me. Instead of holding her, hugging her, I walk away.

  As soon as I round the building, I jump on my bike and get the fuck out of here. I need space. I need to breathe, and I can’t do that around her. She fogs my head up. She crosses my mind more than I care to admit and that frustrates the hell out of me. I know I’m not the best person in the world but fuck, I am a good guy. Or at least I think I am.

  It didn’t take me long to make it to the bar and order a shit ton of drinks. I’m good and wasted when she walks in. The thought of taking her in the bathroom and choking her to death has crossed my mind but she serves a bigger purpose.

  “Didn’t think I’d see you here,” she says letting her hand trail from one shoulder to the other.

  “Me either.” Taking down another shot, I try to ignore the rage simmering inside of me. She would hurt Krista just to get back at me. I know she would.

  “Can I sit?” I nod my head because frankly, I don’t want to be alone with my demons right now. And she still has information I need.

  “What is it you want?”

  “You wanted information, I have it.”

  “Then spill it. As you can see, I’m not in the mood for games,” I slur. Lauren smirks, letting her hand rest on my thigh before dragging it over the bulge in my jeans. Gripping my cock in her hand, I hiss in a breath.

  “Take me in the bathroom and fuck me. I’ll tell you everything.” Drunk? Check. Hard cock? Check. Information and relief? Double fucking check. I stand quickly grabbing her hand as I drag her toward the back where the bathrooms are. Shoving her inside, I slam the door shut and move in. Pinning her against the wall, I kiss her before moving down her neck. Even though my cock’s hard, I don’t want her. I don’t want this but I do want the information from her so she can get the hell out of my life for good.

  “I don’t hear any talkin’,” I tell her as I slip my hand under her skirt. I find her without panties and so fucking wet she practically drips it on the floor.

  “Wolf, God yes.”

  “Talk, Lauren!” I roar before biting into her flesh. She screams as I fuck her with my fingers. I know what she wants but she isn’t getting it from me.

  “This Friday,” she pants.

  “What about it?”

  “They are having a meeting. Every official in town will be at headquarters.”

  “Is that right?” I ask shoving my fingers deeper. She moans and writhes, but I keep my lips moving over her neck, my body pinning her in place.

  “Yes. Heads of a lot of departments, even mine.” My fingers stop moving. Opportunity has just fallen into my goddamn lap. Pulling my fingers out of her, I move to wrap them around her throat.

  “You threatened somethin’ I claimed,” I tell her softly, running my nose over hers.

  “What? I didn’t.”

  “You did. You threatened to ruin Krista. You threatened her with those new little cops, didn’t you?” Her breathing is becoming more sporadic, her pulse thumping rapidly in the side of her neck.

  “I was just saying that. I wouldn’t do that, Wolf. I love you. You know that.”

  “So much that you don’t care that I have another woman? You love me that much, Lauren?” She tries to speak but nothing comes out. She doesn’t have anything to say. She hates the fact that I’m with Krista now.

  “She doesn’t deserve you. I do. We’re engaged!” Squeezing her throat just a little tighter, I lean in and nip her earlobe with my teeth.

  “You are nothin’ to me anymore. You were clingy and demandin’. It was fuckin’ annoying as hell. I don’t love you, not like I thought I did.”

  “You don’t mean that!” I step back, releasing my grip on her. Her eyes are wild as she stares at me.

  “I do mean that. You stay the fuck away from Krista.”

  “I know what you do,” she sneers. There’re the threats I knew were coming.

  “Yeah, you do. So you know that I don’t have a goddamn problem puttin’ a bullet between your pretty little eyes,” I say as I press my finger into her forehead and pretend to pull the trigger. Lauren sobs but in my drunken state it only serves to piss me off.

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Oh, I would.”

  Twenty-Six

  Krista

  I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know who I am. I haven’t really left the clubhouse unless I was with Wolf. He hasn’t wanted to go anywhere lately either. He’s distant which works for me since I’ve been avoiding him.

  “You care about him,” Dezzy says after she sits next to me.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yes you do. You’ve been sitting here for an hour with that same beer watching him,” she says with a laugh. I look down at the beer in my hand and shake my head. She’s right, I have been.

  “I’m confused. I want to be with him, but I don’t know how. I was fine before, with letting her go but something just feels different this time.”

  “You have to work past it. You can’t follow her forever, Krista. She has a family and that’s something you gave her. You gave her the chance at a normal life with people that love her. That’s all any child could ask for. You’re a hero in my book.” My head snaps toward her, our eyes connecting.

  “I’m not.”

  “You came to fucking Maryland to make sure she was safe. Who the fuck does that?” She smiles.

  “I had to. She deserved that much,” I add.

  “And you deserve him. He’s a stubborn pain in the ass. He can be bossy. He’s funny when he wants to be but most of all, out of all the guys here, I think he has the biggest heart.” She nudges me with her elbow and nods toward the bar. When I look over, he’s there. Starring at me so intensely that I want to cower. His blue eyes burn with emotion. Shoving off the couch, I walk toward him slowly. He turns around completely, leaning against the bar as he watches me. When I reach him, I stop right in front of him.

  “What do you need?” He asks casually as if he doesn’t know what I’m doing here.

  “You were right.”

  “I’m right about a lot of things, babe.” I roll my eyes when I catch the hint of amusement in his voice.

  “You were right that I’m scared to let you love me. That means giving you something that I’ve held onto for a long time. Something that was broken and nearly ripped away from me. I haven’t let anyone in like this since him, Wolf.” He nods his head as if he understands but doesn’t say anything else. “But…I want to. I want to give it to you. I want you to love me.” His arms slowly fall to his sides before he stands up straight. His eyes burn through me.

  “No more bullshit. No more followin’ her. You have to let her go, Krista. You gave her that right once before; you have to do it again.” I nod my head even as the tears fill my eyes.

  “I know,” I say softly. Wolf grabs me, pulling me into his arms before leaning down and kissing me gently.

  “I love you, baby.
I’ve never met anyone as strong as you are. I think that strength is what called to me.”

  “I love you too. I’m sorry for pushing you,” I tell him as he rests his forehead against mine. He sighs and kisses me once more before grabbing my hand and pulling me outside. He doesn’t stop walking.

  “Where are we going?” I ask once we’ve been walking for what seems like forever. He smirks at me but doesn’t stop until we’re in the park. Across the small field, he leads me to the edge where I always watched Eva.

  “She’s home. Should be comin’ outside in a minute,” he says quietly.

  “But I thought you said.” He cuts me off.

  “I did. And this is it. This your chance to say goodbye.” My heart nearly leaps out of my chest. I understand why he wants me to let go, I do, but this is hard. I still remember the day she was born. She was so tiny. The perfect little beauty that I imagined her to be. Seven pounds of sweetness. Handing her to the nurse that day nearly ripped my heart out, but I knew she was better off. I knew she deserved a better life.

  “There,” Wolf says gripping my hand tighter in his. “She is beautiful, Krista.”

  “I know,” I whisper as I watch her. Pulling his hand, I walk a little closer. “You were my everything even when you weren’t mine anymore. You bring so much happiness to everyone around you and for that, I will always love you, baby.” My final words to her, even though she will never hear them, are full of emotions. I love her. I always will but it’s time for me to find out who I am again. Wolf doesn’t say anything else as we watch her play and laugh. Once she goes back inside, he pulls on my hand and leads me back to the clubhouse, to a life that isn’t about protecting hers.

  “Thank you for that.”

  “You needed it. I get it. It’s hard as hell for you but don’t forget that I’m here, darlin’. I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

  “You’re stuck with me?” I ask, smiling up at him.

  “I’ll stick somethin’ in you,” he teases making me laugh.

  “I was thinking about what you said.”

  “Which is?”

  “Getting another tattoo,” I tell him.

  “You want my name on your ass now?” I laugh again.

  “Are you kissing it?”

  “I’d kiss anything on your body, Krista. In fact, I think I have. What do you want?”

  “I was thinking a French fry.” Wolf bursts into laughter that causes me to laugh along with him.

  Twenty-Seven

  Wolf

  The week has gone by in a blur. Nothing has settled my mind concerning what we’re about to do. It has to be done though. We learned that the new cops coming in are some that wouldn’t click with us. They have been making plans to take us down and that isn’t something that we can allow. We worked too hard to become what we are today. As much as I’d like to take them out one by one and feed them to the sharks, that isn’t an option with as many as they are bringing in. Which leads us to the here and now. On my stomach, commando crawling from the back of the local PD. It’s a sight to fucking behold that’s for sure. I’ve wired the building with enough C4 to blow out the fucking ocean around it. You can’t be too safe with this kind of job. Having it all rigged to a timer, all I have to do is hit the button and wait.

  “Damn you are fast,” Gauge says when I make it back to him.

  “What the fuck? Were you doubtin’ my skills, brother?” I give him a look.

  “Hell no. Just thought it would take longer.”

  “It’s a fuckin’ police station, asshole. Did you think I wanted to stick around until the cameras came back on?” I nearly roll my eyes at him. Shaft chuckles under his breath next to us. We had a guy tap into the camera system and shut them down for a short length of time as I set up.

  “You got enough?” Sly asks.

  “Sly? Come on. You know I like to play with C4. There’s enough to create a fuckin’ crater over there. In fact, they won’t be rebuildin’ any time soon,” I chuckle.

  “We’re gonna have FEDS too.”

  “I know. That’s why we’re blowin’ it and layin’ low,” Gauge reminds us all.

  “You ready?” I ask Sly. He nods his head and I push the timer. Five minutes and that place will be leveled with all the bastards in it.

  “You sure about Lauren?” Sly asks pulling my gaze to his.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” I snap. He shrugs and runs his hand through his hair. “Spit it out.”

  “Nothin’. Just that you cared about her once.”

  “She was gonna get Krista arrested. She threatened the club,” I nearly growl. Sly nods his head as the timer slowly ticks down.

  “Yeah, she did but was she really gonna do it?”

  “What is this shit, Sly? You think I shouldn’t let her die in that place?” I do snap now, pointing to the building that’s wired to explode.

  “I’m just sayin’ that’s on your conscience brother. That’s it.” Tugging at my hair, I think about that. We don’t usually do this shit to women. Lauren was a pain in the ass and yeah, she threatened me and Krista, but does that work out to her being killed?

  “Fuck!” I roar as I shove off the ground. The guys call out to me but it’s too late. I’m running down the hill and toward the building. She just went in a few minutes ago. I could get her out, tell her it’s important. She wouldn’t question me. She never has.

  The closer I get to the door, the more my heart pounds. Just as I’m about to pull the door open, the building explodes. I raise my arms to shield my face as my body is thrown through the air. I land roughly, my head banging the ground. My body burns, pain rips through me. I hear myself screaming but it’s as if I’m not even here. Faintly I can hear the guys talking to me but that’s it. I’m numb and before I know it, the world around me goes dark.

  Twenty-Eight

  Krista

  My leg bounces as we sit here waiting.

  “It was my fault,” Sly says next to me.

  “Fuck you. You already said that,” I hiss in his direction. He told me what happened. That Wolf was going back in there to get Lauren out. He told me that she threatened me and that’s why Wolf was handling it the way he was. I didn’t want to hear it. All I want to hear right now is that he’s okay and that he’s going to make it. We’re sitting in the burn center for God’s sake.

  “Well it was.”

  “Sly, just fuck off right now, okay?” I tell him. Gauge chuckles, and Dezzy outright laughs. Shaft sits across the room with Temple. She has been doing all she can to get information since she’s a nurse, but she keeps reassuring me that he will be fine and he’s in the best hands here. His parents sit on either side of me, holding my hands. My head spins. I don’t know anything anymore. I can’t lose him.

  “Parents of Wolf Thomas?” They both stand but pull me along with them. I look up a little shocked to know his real name is Wolf. It never occurred to me to ask either. He was just Wolf.

  “That’s us,” Margo says quickly.

  “Your son has burns to his chest and forearms. He was lucky it didn’t cover more of his body from the proximity to the explosion. That’s a good thing. His wounds should heal up but there will be scaring. Right now, we have him on antibiotics and pain medicine. You can see him two at a time but not for long. We want to reduce the risk of infection.” Margo thanks the doctor as my heart slowly calms down. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to be okay.

  His parents went back to see him first and when they came back, Margo kissed my cheek and sent me back. I’m dressed in a gown, cap and gloves as precautions. They don’t want anything else affecting him. As I step into his room, my heart falls in my chest. I’ve never seen him like this. Taking a deep breath and knowing I need to be strong for him, I walk toward his bed and sit in the chair. His head slowly turns, bright blue eyes shining at me.

  “You look ridiculous,” he mumbles through the haze in his eyes.

  “Oh please. Don’t tell me that you wouldn’t bend me over this b
ed and lift this gown.” He smirks and it makes my heart leap again.

  “The gown maybe but that hat has gotta go,” he says.

  “This?” I ask pointing to the hat. “I’m keeping this. I think it makes the whole outfit. I plan on wearing it often,” I tease him. Wolf shakes his head slowly before clearing his throat.

  “It was stupid.”

  “No, it wasn’t. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to her in time, Wolf.”

  “A part of me is glad I didn’t. I have no doubts she would have done it. She would have turned you in and I wouldn’t let that happen,” he says.

  “I know that. I’m just sorry it had to come down to this. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here.”

  “Don’t do that shit. Not now. I’m here, yeah? I’m alive. I’m gonna heal,” he says sounding sure.

  “You are burnt to hell, Wolf.”

  “I’m extra crispy,” he tries to laugh but winces. I roll my eyes.

  “I didn’t know Wolf was your real name,” I say changing the subject.

  “Yeah. My real mom named me. They kept it the same. Didn’t wanna change too much for me.”

  “I like it,” I tell him with a smile.

  “That all you like?”

  “No, I like your dick too. Thank God that wasn’t burnt.” Wolf chuckles this time.

  “No shit. Hey, I’m glad you’re here.” I reach for his hand, but both of his forearms are wrapped so instead, I stand and run my fingers through his hair. He sighs, relaxing into my touch.

  “You thought I wouldn’t come? How little you know about me,” I tease playfully.

  “I know you’re stubborn as fuck. I know you don’t half listen to what you’re told. I know you have the biggest heart of anyone else I’ve ever known.”

  “What else do you know? Because I know something that you don’t,” I lean in and whisper in his ear.