Messy Perfect Love

by Claire Kingsley

  “I did,” I say. “I ruined it and I tried to find you to tell you that I was sorry, but you were with her.”

  “I tried to find you, too. I went to your house, but your stuff was gone. Jennifer texted me the next day and asked me to meet her. I figured … I don’t know, I shouldn’t have done it, but it wasn’t about you, and it certainly wasn’t about being with her.”

  “You went to my house when I was gone?” I ask. Oh no.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry,” he says. “I should have just called you, but I wanted to see you in person. When I got to your house, I thought you left town again. I figured you decided to move on, and I kind of didn’t want to know where you went. I should have just called. I’m so sorry.”

  I sob again. “Oh god, Cody, I did leave. It was so stupid. I drove seven hours and turned around and came home the next day.”

  He laughs. “You’re kidding me.”

  “No, I really did.”

  “But you came back.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “I didn’t want to go.”

  He moves one of the tubes that’s sticking out of me and clasps my hand. “Just relax now. We’re both here. You’re going to be fine.”

  The rest of the room comes into focus. There are balloons and flowers everywhere. “Wait, what is all that stuff?”

  Cody looks behind him. “I think about half of it is from my mom. She got the yellow balloons and the flowers over there.” He picks up a pink teddy bear. “I don’t know why she thought you needed this. I guess she kind of went nuts in the gift shop downstairs. Nicole sent the basket of snacks, and there’s some lotion and a toothbrush and a few other things in there, too. Natalie sent over a box of muffins and some cookies yesterday—but I have to be honest, I ate some and shared the rest with the nurses. There’s more flowers over there on the little table, and I don’t even know who sent them all. There are cards with them. One is from Gabriel, I think. He’s called a couple of times.”

  I stare all of it, open-mouthed. I can’t fathom what I’m seeing. “This is all for me?”

  “Of course it is,” he says.

  More tears run down my cheeks. I can’t possibly stop them.

  “No, don’t cry,” he says.

  “I just don’t understand any of this,” I say. “Why would all these people care if I got hurt?”

  There’s a knock at the door and a man in a white doctor’s coat over a shirt and tie steps in. He has gray hair at his temples, and small black glasses perched on his nose. “Mind if I come check on her?”

  “Of course not,” Cody says. He doesn’t let go of my hand.

  “Hi, Clover,” he says. “I’m Dr. Foster. I performed your surgery the other day. I just need to check your sutures.”

  “Okay.”

  He comes around to my left side and moves the sheets down. Cody stands and looks over me while Dr. Foster pulls back bandages. I’m too scared to look.

  “This is healing very well,” he says. He meets Cody’s eyes. “What do you think?”

  “It looks good,” Cody says. “You did excellent work.”

  A nurse comes in behind Dr. Foster to take off the dressing and put on a fresh one.

  “How’s your pain level, Clover?” Dr. Foster asks.

  “I’m okay as long as I don’t move much,” I say. “I don’t know; I feel pretty out of it.”

  “She hasn’t been awake long,” Cody says.

  “I’m going to keep her here another night,” Dr. Foster says. “We’ll get her on her feet later today and have her walk around a little. If she’s able to get around without too much pain, she can go home tomorrow. But only if she’s going to have help. Do you live alone, Clover?”

  I start to answer, but Cody cuts me off. “No, she’ll come home with me.”

  “Good,” Dr. Foster says. “I’ll definitely be comfortable sending her home with you, probably by about midday tomorrow, as long as she keeps improving.” He turns back to me. “Your arm will take four to six weeks to heal, but Dr. Jacobsen here can handle the follow-up for that. Your abdominal wound will be about the same, and it could take several months to feel one hundred percent. It’s really important that you take it easy, especially while the laceration is still healing. You were pretty torn up inside, too, so remember: as much damage as you can see on the outside, there was damage on the inside. Listen to your doctor, and you’ll be fine. Do you have any questions for me?”

  I doubt I could think of them even if I did. My head is swimming, but I know Cody heard it all. “No, I don’t think so.”

  He glances around at the flowers and balloons. “You have a lovely family, Clover. They’ve really been pulling for you.”

  Cody thanks Dr. Foster and shakes his hand. My lower lip trembles as I watch him go.

  A family?

  “Hey,” Cody says, sinking back down into his chair. He wipes a few tears from my cheeks. “It’s okay. I know six weeks sounds like a long time, but you’re going to be fine.”

  “I believe in marriage, Cody,” I say.

  “What?”

  “I told you I didn’t, but I lied to you,” I say. I feel like I’m slipping again. My eyes want to close, but I have to tell him before I fall asleep. I have to say it. “I said I didn’t because I was afraid. You were right. I’m always afraid everyone is going to leave me. So I leave first. But I don’t want to leave this time.”

  “Baby,” he says, caressing my face. His hands are so gentle. “If you think I’ll let you go again, you’re crazier than I thought.”

  I smile and Cody clutches his chest.

  “Yes, that,” he says. “That right there. My sunshine smile.” He brushes his fingers across my lips. “From the first moment I saw you, all I have ever wanted to do is make you smile like that for me.”

  That makes me smile even more.

  “I love you, Clover,” he says, his eyes locked on mine. “I love you so much and so big I’m not sure what to do with it. But I know I’m never letting you go again.”

  I can’t keep my eyes open, so I let them drift closed.

  “I love you, too, Cody. I love you, too.”

  Epilogue

  Clover

  My face literally hurts from smiling.

  The photographer snaps more pictures, then moves us around again. He asks us to hold up our bouquets. Mine is pale pink and white with sweet little pearls. There are matching pearls in my hair, which the stylist somehow managed to tame into soft curls that frame my face and hang around my collarbone.

  The photographer finally pauses, and I move my jaw around to loosen up my face. I grab the top of my dress and hike it up a bit. It’s a gorgeous champagne-colored strapless dress that goes to my knees. It’s so pretty, although I worry a little that it’s going to slip too far down and show a lot of boob. I guess Cody won’t mind.

  Nicole turns to me and smiles, taking a deep breath. She’s positively radiant. Glowing, even. Her wedding gown is sheer at the top, with tiny floral appliques around the sweetheart neckline. It flows down to an A-line skirt of soft tulle. Her blond hair is done in a simple up-do with a clip holding her veil. Looking at her makes me smile more, even though I kind of need a break after so many photos.

  “Are you hanging in there?” I ask.

  She bites her lower lip. “I think so. I can’t decide if I’m scared or excited.”

  “Excited, obviously,” I say. “And you look amazing.”

  We’ve been taking pictures with just the women, saving the rest for after the ceremony. Nicole didn’t want Ryan to see her beforehand. She looks so beautiful she’s going to knock his socks off.

  “Yeah, excited,” she says, taking another breath. “Thanks for being here with me.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.”

  I was stunned when Nicole asked me to be a bridesmaid. Her wedding was only a few months away, and she already had her best friend Melissa as her maid of honor. But she insisted. I certainly couldn’t refuse. Truth be told, I squealed an
d jumped up and down when she asked me. I’ve never been a bridesmaid before.

  I’ve never even been to a real wedding before.

  The photographer tells us it’s almost time and leads us to the back of the church. The doors are closed, but soft music drifts through. Melissa and I both hug Nicole for the millionth time and take our places in front of her. Nicole’s mom and dad stand on either side of her, and Melissa steps in to straighten her veil and make sure her bouquet is perfect.

  I’m so excited I can barely stand it. I do my best not to bounce in my heels.

  The doors open and I go first. The men are already at the front, Ryan standing in the center, with Cody and Hunter next to him. Cody looks utterly delicious in his dark gray suit. I wink at him as I walk up the aisle. He grins at me and winks back.

  I cry through the entire ceremony.

  Ryan fights back tears as Nicole walks up the aisle. It’s so moving, half the audience loses it before the minister even says a word. I can see Ryan’s face through the entire thing, and he looks at her with so much passion, it takes my breath away. They say their vows and everyone in the audience who wasn’t crying before starts. Anyone who doesn’t cry must not have a soul, because it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. Even Cody looks choked up.

  His eyes are on me through the whole thing.

  I look at him, standing just past Ryan’s shoulder, and smile.

  Afterward there are more pictures—lots of them—but soon we’re all in a limo, glasses of champagne in our hands, heading to the reception.

  Nicole originally wanted the wedding and reception to be in Ryan’s photography studio, but their guest list got too long. So they opted for a beautiful church in town for the ceremony, and booked a hotel banquet room for the reception. It’s a lovely June evening, so they open the doors to the terrace, and the sound of the ocean carries through. The moon is bright and the waves crash against the sand.

  Cody is busy greeting distant family members, so I go outside to get some air. I press at my side, where a shard of metal cut me open. It’s only the slightest bit tender now. It aches when I work too much, so I’m careful, but overall I’ve healed well. I have a scar, but Cody loves to trace it with his fingers or his tongue, so it isn’t so bad. It’s a good reminder of everything I almost lost.

  I’ve gone back to work at the Mark, but only part-time. It’s a demanding job, so I need to pace myself while I’m still recovering from the accident. Gabriel has been nothing but supportive. He’s hands down the best boss I’ve ever had. I did quit my job at the café, but it’s still my favorite place to get coffee. I meet Nicole there at least once a week. She’ll be gone for two weeks in the Caribbean on her honeymoon, and I’m really going to miss her.

  I take a sip of wine and lean against the railing, watching the waves. My heart is so light after watching Nicole and Ryan get married. I love seeing people so blissfully happy. It gives me hope for humanity.

  “Hey, sunshine.” Cody comes to stand next to me and puts an arm around my shoulders.

  “Hey, handsome,” I say, and put my wine glass down on a little table.

  He pulls me to him, turning me so our bodies are pressed close together. I thread my arms around his neck and he leans in to kiss me.

  He tastes like champagne and his mouth feels decadent. He pulls away, but I don’t want him to stop kissing me. Maybe ever.

  “So when can we go upstairs to our room?” I ask. “You look hot as hell in this suit, but I’d really like to take it off you.”

  He leans in close, his mouth near my ear. “Soon, baby, soon. But we just got here. There’s still dinner, and cake, and dancing.”

  “I might be convinced to stay for cake,” I say.

  He kisses the top of my head and lets his arms drop, turning back toward the water. I pick up my glass and have another sip, then lean my head on his arm.

  He takes my hand and rubs my index finger.

  My heart rate picks up.

  He moves to my middle finger, rubbing it in slow circles, just above my first knuckle.

  I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. His dimples are puckered, but he’s looking out at the waves.

  He takes my ring finger between his finger and thumb, rubbing it just like the others. I feel like I can’t quite breathe. Is he going to—

  He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. “We should go in. I think they’re serving dinner.”

  I blow out a breath and swallow hard. What was that about?

  I take a seat at our table. We’re near the front, seated with Hunter and his date, and Melissa and her fiancé. Jackson is one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever laid eyes on, and the way he looks at Melissa like he wants to eat her for dinner is kind of a turn on.

  We enjoy a delicious meal, and then there are toasts by Melissa and Cody. Melissa’s is hilarious and heartfelt, and I almost cry again. Cody’s is tender and sweet, but he ends on a funny note that has the whole crowd laughing and clapping. We drink champagne, eat wedding cake, and chat with the people around us.

  After the guests eat their cake, Ryan stands up and takes the microphone, Nicole at his side.

  “Nicole and I would like to thank everyone for coming,” Ryan says. “It means so much that you’d be here to share our special day with us.”

  There’s a soft round of applause.

  “Those of you who know our family know that we’re pretty close,” he says.

  I glance over at Maureen and see her beaming at her son. Even Ed, who’s usually pretty stoic, has a huge smile on his face.

  “We are so happy to be able to welcome Nicole into our family, as the newest Jacobsen.”

  More applause and a few whistles from the crowd.

  “But families are meant to grow.” He pauses, his dimples showing as he grins, and there are some gasps.

  Holy shit. Is he going to say what I think he’s going to say? I reach over to grab Cody’s hand, my heart suddenly racing with anticipation. But Cody stands up.

  “My brother Cody has a little something he’d like to say,” Ryan says. He looks at me and meets my eyes with a smile. Nicole has tears in her eyes again, and she puts her fingers over her mouth. She’s staring at me. Why is she smiling at me like that?

  Slowly, I look up at Cody.

  The crowd goes silent. I’m positive they can hear my heart beating.

  He reaches for my hand and draws me up to standing. Out of nowhere, he has a microphone.

  “Clover, I don’t know if it was God, or fate, or the universe who brought us together. But I know one thing with so much certainty, no one could ever convince me otherwise: we were made for each other. We were meant to be.”

  I cover my mouth with a shaking hand.

  Cody sinks down onto one knee and the crowd gasps. I stare at him, blinking through tears. He cannot be serious. At Nicole’s wedding?

  He takes my hand.

  “Clover Fields, in the presence of my family, who insisted I do this here because they love you as much as I do, will you marry me?”

  I lower my hand and my face erupts in a smile. I laugh, and I can barely get the words out. “Yes! Yes, yes, oh my god, yes.”

  He pulls a box out of his pocket and opens it, revealing a pale blue stone set in a platinum band, surrounded by tiny sparkling diamonds. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. He stands and slips it on my finger.

  I’m vaguely aware of applause and cheering around us, but nothing else exists. Just Cody’s arms around me, his lips against mine. Lips that have always been meant to kiss me. Forever.

  Fate finally got it right.

  Need more Jetty Beach? Turn the page for a preview of Operation Get Her Back.

  Operation Get Her Back: Chapter 1

  Emma

  The cork on the champagne bottle comes off with a pop. I don’t have any champagne flutes, so I fill a regular wine glass. Full. Why not? I might be celebrating alone, but celebrate I will.

  I stopped a
t a fancy bakery on the way home and bought myself a slice of chocolate cheesecake. It looks positively decadent: rich brown with a shiny drizzle of dark chocolate criss-crossing the top. A single mint leaf holds a fresh raspberry for a little pop of color. So pretty. I felt like treating myself, and this is just the thing. After all, it isn’t every day that your divorce is final.

  All the paperwork is signed, recorded, and whatever else they had to do to get me my freedom. It’s been a long year, from the moment I packed a bag and walked out on my life, to this one. The moment when my life begins again.

  We all make mistakes when we’re young. Unfortunately, mine included a legally binding contract and a promise to stay with Wyatt for the rest of our lives. I knew, even when I was saying my vows, that it was a mistake. That probably makes me a terrible person. I spent the entire reception wondering how long I could hold out. Could I really make a life with him? Would this last?

  Spoiler: it didn’t.

  I bring my party for one over to the tiny kitchen table and sit. I try not to be disappointed that I’m alone in my crappy apartment while I do this. I’ve heard of women throwing divorce parties—going out with their girlfriends to male strip shows and getting drunk together. I would love to go out and do something silly or crazy, let loose a little. But that sort of thing would require girlfriends to go out with, and being married to Wyatt wasn’t conducive to having friends. He didn’t like any of my friends, and in my quest to keep the peace, I let those relationships drift away.

  I let a lot of things drift away. Friends. Family. Myself.

  I take a sip of champagne. It was cheap, but it’s decent. The slice of cheesecake cost almost as much as the bubbly. I take a bite and close my eyes, letting out a soft groan. Worth every penny. It’s smooth and creamy, the chocolate flavor so rich. It’s the best thing I’ve eaten in a long time.

  I think about what Wyatt would say if he saw me drinking champagne and eating chocolate cheesecake. Probably something shitty about letting myself go. Then he’d laugh and act like it was a joke, and accuse me of being too sensitive when I got mad about it.