Cold Fear: (Cold Harbor Book 5)

by Sleeman, Susan

  His mouth fell open. “You can’t mean that.”

  “I wouldn’t want to do it, but Owen comes first, and I have to do what’s best for him.”

  “And you think keeping his dad away from him is best?”

  “I don’t know…I just don’t know.” She felt like pulling her hair out but settled for running her fingers through it. “What I do know is my team is leaving soon, and I’ll be on the bus with them for the drive to Pelican Point so we can perform tonight.”

  Feeling sadder than she had in years, she hurried into Riley’s bedroom. His minty scent lingered in the space, and that brought tears to her eyes. Huge tears rolled down her face, and she couldn’t stop them. She swiped an angry fist under her eyes and started throwing items into her suitcase.

  Why couldn’t she just do as Riley said? Trust God. Trust anyone.

  Because people kept letting her down. Not in little ways. That she could handle. But the major things of life is where she had to draw the line.

  And here she thought she’d taken a big step toward God and wanted to do what He wanted for her life. Not a day had passed since her commitment, and she’d failed. Had she really drawn closer to Him? If so, she needed to trust Him, here, too.

  “Leah,” Riley’s voice came from the doorway. “I’m sorry. We seem to always push each other’s hot buttons. I want to make this work. Let’s find a way to get along and care for Owen.”

  She turned around. “Me too. I don’t want to be like this. I just can’t let it go.” She looked at him and his contrite expression made her tears flow faster.

  “Hey, don’t, honey.” He rushed over to her and drew her into his arms.

  She should push him away, this man who was totally wrong for her in almost every way but was totally right when it came to love. But she didn’t. She rested her cheek against the softness of his cotton work shirt and traced the embroidered team name to distract her from the overwhelming emotions crashing through her body.

  His hand came up to clamp on hers, stilling her fingers. She glanced up at him, and his awareness of her as a woman burned in his eyes—the last thing she needed, but her heart betrayed her and sped up.

  “I…” she said but didn’t continue because she didn’t know what to say.

  “Yeah,” he whispered against her hair. “Me, too.”

  He continued to hold her, and she let him, loving the feel of security and safety in his arms. But as time ticked by, she knew she needed to get going.

  She pushed back. “I’ve gotta pack.”

  He released her and stepped back. “About that. You’ll need Blake’s permission.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re a suspect, and he told me you weren’t allowed to leave town without telling him.”

  Fury flashed inside of her. “And you decided I didn’t need to know this?”

  “I thought it would worry you more.”

  “Well, you’re right. It does. But it’s my worry, and you have no right to make decisions like that.” She put her fists on her hips. “Did you neglect to tell me so I would be forced to stop performing?”

  “No, no! I—”

  “Is there anything else you’re keeping from me?”

  He shook his head fervently. “I’m sorry if I made the wrong decision, but I did it with the right reasons in mind. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to sabotage you.”

  This was getting more complicated by the minute. She blew out a breath. “Well, you need to get that permission from Blake right away—I’m keeping all of my commitments. Now I need to pack.”

  “Okay. And I’m coming with you. You know that, right?”

  “Yes, that’s fine.”

  “I still want Owen and your mother to stay here where they’re safe.”

  She really wanted Owen nearby, but she had to listen to her own convictions and put Owen first. Maybe it was better that way since she’d be busy with his father…a man who she adored one minute and was furious with the next.

  15

  Riley couldn’t think of an instance when not having a helo at his disposal was a good thing, and a few hours later when they touched down at the small airport outside of Pelican Point just up the Oregon coast a few hundred miles, it was no exception. He’d convinced Leah to let her team bus go on without her and let Coop fly them to the concert location. He’d take the helo back to the compound, but Riley wouldn’t be alone in protecting Leah. He’d brought Alex along for reinforcement during the day as the others had to remain at the compound either working on this case or teaching classes. Didn’t mean they wouldn’t be on protective detail at the concert that night. Coop would ferry them all to the venue in plenty of time to secure the place and stand watch.

  Leah pointed out the window at Felicity who leaned against the hood of her electric blue Ford Focus. “There’s Felicity waiting for us.”

  Riley nodded, and was fine riding in Felicity’s little Focus to the hotel where the SUV Riley rented should be waiting for them. An inch taller than Riley, Alex might grumble about Felicity’s car, but Riley would let him ride shotgun where his knees might not be in his nose like Riley would experience in the back seat with Leah.

  Coop left the rotors spinning, and Alex got out first to circle the area, looking for any issues.

  “You’ll be back here by five,” Riley confirmed with Coop before taking off his headset.

  “Roger that,” Coop replied.

  That was all Riley needed to hear to reassure him that Coop knew his mission. Riley could count on his teammates in every situation. Every single one. They had his back on the job and in life. He’d never really had that before except with Leah, and that had ended so badly it had taken some time for Riley to trust anyone. But the men and women of Blackwell Tactical made it easy to trust them, and he did. Now Leah was back, bringing up all that old anxiety again.

  Alex gave a thumbs-up, and Riley hung up his headset and hopped out. He helped Leah down and stayed close to her, his head on a swivel as they crossed to Felicity. She wasn’t paying any attention to Leah, which was odd, but her gaze was locked on Alex who was so focused on their surroundings that he wasn’t even looking at Felicity. She pushed off the car and slowly ran her gaze up and down Alex’s body.

  Riley had seen this look many times before. Not only for Alex, but for men Riley had worked with in law enforcement and on the team. They carried themselves with such a presence and confidence that women took notice. Of course, Alex was also very good-looking. Put those qualities together and it made perfect sense that Felicity was captivated. And Alex was a consummate professional, so it made sense that he wouldn’t react when he was part of Leah’s protection detail.

  “Felicity, this is Alex.” Riley didn’t linger on introductions but walked to the car. “We should get going. Leah you’re in back with me. Alex in front.”

  Riley opened the door and ushered Leah inside. He took one last look over the tarmac, and satisfied she wasn’t in danger, he wedged himself in beside her, his knees pressed against the passenger seat.

  Alex looked inside. “Mind if I move this seat back?”

  “Go ahead.” Riley eyed him. “If you have a death wish.”

  Alex laughed and managed to get himself inside. “Remind me to make travel arrangements next time.”

  “I should have thought about the car size,” Leah said. “Sorry.”

  “I’m not.” Felicity winked in the rearview mirror then cast a flirty smile at Alex who was looking out the window and not paying any attention to her.

  If she kept flirting with Alex, Riley suspected it was going to be a long ride for all of them.

  Riley’s phone rang, and seeing Sam’s name on the screen, he eagerly answered. “Tell me you have good news.”

  “Sorry. I reviewed Kraig’s fingerprints from the crime scene, but they don’t reveal anything of value.”

  Riley had to admit he was disappointed. Even if Kraig was innocent, he would be a perfect suspect to take the focus off Leah. �
��Thanks for reviewing them so fast.”

  He disconnected and called Piper. “Just checking in. Any word on the video yet?”

  “Sorry, not yet.”

  “You’ll call me the minute you know anything?”

  “Absolutely.”

  As Riley hung up, frustration over every dead end had him slamming a fist into the back of the seat.

  Alex jerked forward. “Whoa, buddy, easy back there.”

  Leah watched him, but he didn’t care. He was reaching the end of his rope. He had to think about something positive. The video could still pan out. He sat back and tried to think of anything they might have missed. But he came up empty, and soon Felicity was pulling under the hotel’s portico.

  The car had barely stopped moving, and Felicity hopped out before Alex could even unfold his legs. Riley took equally as long to get out. If there had been a threat to Leah, neither of them would be much good. Riley wouldn’t let Felicity drive them back to the helo. He would take the rental vehicle and arrange to have it picked up there.

  “I’ll get the room keys,” Felicity called over her shoulder.

  Riley glanced at Leah. “Stay in the car until I tell you.”

  “Sure.”

  He appreciated her compliance, but honestly, her determination was part of her personality that had drawn him to her. This attitude felt almost as if she was giving up.

  He signaled Alex to scout out the south side of the building and parking lot, and Riley surveyed the north side, all the while keeping Leah in view. When he was satisfied that it was safe, he sent Alex inside to clear the lobby.

  Riley remained by Leah’s door until Alex stepped outside, nodded, and positioned himself between the car and entrance.

  Riley opened Leah’s door. “Stay by my side and head straight inside.”

  She nodded and complied, which he was grateful for. Standing by the desk, Felicity turned to them, room keys in her hand. She gave one to Leah and one to Riley.

  “Are the rooms adjoining?” he asked.

  Felicity snickered and nodded.

  Riley didn’t like the implication of Felicity’s response, and Leah seemed to like it less, but she didn’t say anything.

  Felicity turned her attention to Alex who’d hung his sunglasses in the V of his shirt. “Since I didn’t know you were accompanying Riley, I didn’t book a room for you. But I’m assuming you need to be near Leah, too. They’ll have to clean a room for you. Should be ready in an hour or so. You’re welcome to hang out in my room if you want.”

  Alex’s mouth opened like he planned to say something, then he snapped it closed. With his dry humor, Riley could only imagine what he’d almost said, but Riley was thankful Alex thought twice before speaking. No need to make things even more uncomfortable.

  “He can hang with me, and you can deliver Alex’s key there.” Riley faced Leah. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

  “I’ll arrange to have the luggage delivered to the rooms,” Felicity said. “And Leah, we have some details to iron out. Do you want me to come up to your room once I take care of Alex’s room and the luggage?”

  Leah smiled at her assistant. “Sounds perfect.”

  Alex and Riley walked on either side of Leah to the elevator and escorted her safely to her room on the third floor.

  Riley handed his room key to Alex. “Let’s get the connecting door open and then you can head back to the lobby to finalize our rental car.”

  Alex frowned, a rare thing for him. “You better hope Felicity isn’t still down there or you’ll owe me big time.”

  “So you noticed the flirting.” Riley grinned.

  “Could anyone have missed it?” Alex shook his head, a bemused look on his face.

  “I’ll have a talk with her,” Leah offered.

  “Nah, don’t bother. I’m used to it and can handle it just fine.” He spun and exited the room.

  Leah’s gaze tracked him as he walked away. “I can see Felicity’s fascination. He’s real pretty.”

  “Pretty? Don’t let Alex hear you say that.” Riley chuckled.

  She laughed with him, and for a moment, things were easy between them. A reminder of the past. One he shouldn’t dwell on.

  She suddenly sobered. Maybe the same thoughts darted through her brain.

  “I hate to ask this, but would you mind if I took a nap? Concerts take a lot out of me, and I need to rest up.”

  He blinked. “Why would you hate to ask that?”

  “Because you and your whole team are working so hard on finding my stalker and the killer. I feel guilty napping.”

  He waved off her concern. “We don’t have to perform tonight. You do.”

  “Not perform, no, but you’ll be working. Keeping me safe.”

  “Hey, don’t worry about it. Take your nap, and I’ll be right next door if you need me.”

  She nodded, but still didn’t look convinced. He crossed the room and on his way to the door, stopped to look her in the eyes. “I honestly want what’s best for you, honey. The very best. Don’t ever doubt that, okay?”

  She nodded and took his hand to lift it to her mouth and plant a kiss. Her tenderness caught him unaware, and he tugged her into his arms, a place she was ending up far too much for either of their good. He wanted to linger, but it felt wrong with everything unsettled between them.

  He set her away and left the room, his heart staying with her, and he wished things could work out between them. But it was just a wish, and life experience taught him that wishes rarely came true. Especially ones related to Leah.

  Leah tried to sleep, but she couldn’t quiet her mind. Sure, the murders weighed heavy on her, but it was the tender hug and the lingering look that Riley gave her that she couldn’t forget.

  She groaned over her traitorous mind, pushed out of bed, and wandered the room, pausing by the connecting door, her hand raised, ready to knock.

  But why? What would she say to him?

  “I know we have the same old struggle, but I still love you and want you in my life” was what she wanted to say. But what would be the point of it? They still couldn’t be together.

  She groaned again and walked to the window to look out. The beach lay silent and deserted in the bright sunshine, sparkling waves rolling in. She needed to think, and what better place to do it but there? She couldn’t take Riley. Couldn’t take Alex or even Felicity.

  She needed to be alone. She went to her suitcase. Grabbed her baseball cap and large sunglasses and slipped into bulky sweats. Her disguise. She’d used it hundreds of time to avoid the press and fans. Surely, it would work for her stalker.

  She pocketed her key and slowly turned the doorknob. A quick glance down the hallway told her it was empty, and she softly closed the door behind her, making sure it latched. She raced for the stairwell and jogged down. Outside, she looked around. Sure she was alone and not watched, she bolted for the beach.

  Heading to the shoreline, she took off her shoes and let her feet sink into the cooling sand. As the granules oozed between her toes, she let her mind have its way and filled it with the first song she would sing that night. Humming, she found a secluded spot among the tall beach grasses and dropped down. She lifted her knees and hugged them, softly singing her songs and watching the calming roll of the waves.

  Music had always been a balm for what ailed her. Music and solitude. She got a lot of the first in her life, but very little of the second. She was always on display. Always performing, even when she wasn’t on stage. An interview. A PR gig. An award show. Even a walk to her car. The public wanted to see her. Wanted to know her. And social media brought them closer. They thought they were part of her life, but it was carefully staged by her publicist to make it seem real. So her fans believed they knew her, when it was all a lie.

  And she was tired of living a lie. So tired.

  She laid back, her arms behind her head, feeling the remaining warmth of the sand, gazing up at the bright blue sky with slowly moving puffy clouds. She sighed
out her stress. Repeated it and inhaled the salty ocean air.

  A day at the beach had always reminded her of God and His amazing creation of the earth. The magnitude of it always made her problems seem so small, but not today. Her life was crumbling around her. She didn’t think it could get much worse, and if it did, she wasn’t sure she could survive. At least not alone. With Riley at her side, she could survive anything. She knew that as much as she knew how to breathe.

  But he isn’t at your side, is he? Not permanently. You put him aside long ago.

  She couldn’t think about that. Wouldn’t think about that now. She closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. That sleep she’d needed beckoned, and she soon fell into it.

  “Are you okay, Miss?” A male voice came from above.

  She woke to a dark shadow lingering over her. He stared down at her. Dark glasses. A baseball cap. He was as hidden from her as she was from him. Was he her stalker?

  She scrambled back.

  “Hey.” He held up a fishing pole. “It’s okay. I’m not some creep trying to come on to you. I’ve been fishing for the last hour or so, and you didn’t move, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  An hour? She’d been sleeping for an hour? “I fell asleep, but thanks for asking.”

  He nodded and turned back to the water. She jumped up and ran for the hotel. She had no idea how long she’d been gone, but she had to hope that Riley didn’t discover that she was missing or she’d have to deal with that, too.

  She slipped into the building unnoticed and climbed the stairs. The hallway was empty and quiet.

  Perfect.

  Her shoes dangling from her fingers, she ran silently over the floral carpet and slid the key into the lock. The door snapped open, and she quickly entered.

  She’d made it. She was safe, and her mind was clear. No one except the fisherman would know she’d gone for a walk alone, and even then, he had no idea of her identity. She almost laughed. She’d successfully pulled off her version of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.