Finding Beautiful

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  I nod, then skate my fingers over his heart through his shirt.

  “I feel your heart beating,” I whisper.

  “It’s real, baby. Listen to me.” I wrap my arms around his neck and look into his eyes as he continues. The intensity in his eyes stops my heart altogether.

  “I won’t ever hurt you. Never again.”

  My heart leaps in my chest, not expecting that. How does he know exactly what I need to hear?

  “Me either, Gavin. Me either.”

  * * *

  After three hours of watching daytime television, settled in Gavin’s lap with his hands around my middle and his lips pressing to the side of my neck, I hear him groan and then chuckle, grunting a little bit from his broken ribs. He hides it well, but I can tell he’s not at his best. The doctor told me he should be taking it easy and I fully intend to make sure he does just that. At least this way I can take care of him. The thought of that fills me with joy, though I hate that my Gavin is in pain. My thoughts are rudely interrupted as he snatches the television remote away from me. I feel him smiling against the side of my head.

  “No way! What are you doing!?” I squeal, fighting to reach the remote he so rudely grabbed out of my hand. I feel his grin as he catches my earlobe tantalizingly between his teeth. My core tightens deliciously at the contact.

  “I’m changing it. This is torture, Beautiful. Three hours of damn soap operas!” I giggle, leaning my head against his chest and looking up at him through my eyelashes. I’m pouting, hoping he’ll let me have my way. I was just getting interested in the damn soap operas. His stormy blues are soft and filled with amusement, gazing down at me as he bites his bottom lip to hide his laugh.

  “I like them”

  He grins now, unabashedly and leans down, running his lips along mine. His kiss is a gentle inhaling, a barely there touch to my mouth. I groan, wanting more as he pulls away and winks down at me.

  “I can see the pain medication is kicking in,” I say, not being able to hide a smirk. Deftly, Gavin flicks through channels as his eyes never leave mine.

  “Don’t you want to watch something else?” he whispers, his eyes dancing with humor. Oh, this man. He’s trying to distract me, and with his lips along the back of my neck; it’s working.

  “Like what?” I ask.

  Gavin’s eyes are on the television screen now and they light up. Suddenly, he grins, grazing his mouth against my forehead when I see what he’s chosen to watch. Final Destination 3, the movie I told him is my favorite when we first met. He remembered…

  “You approve, baby?”

  I nestle my face into his chest and nod, giving him a grin that doesn’t hold anything back.

  “Glad to hear it, Beautiful.” Then he leans down, cradling my face in his palms as his mouth closes over mine, grazing his teeth over my lower lip with heartrending slowness. He brushes his mouth over mine gently, teasing me and I’m breathless as I lean into him.

  “Gavin, please,” I whisper, moaning low in my throat when he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling at it teasingly. My skin tingles in desire for his touch and my breath falters, wishing we weren’t in this hospital bed and instead, at home in his bed, our bed.

  “You taste so good. Are you wearing something new?”

  He wipes my hair from the back of my neck and his mouth glides down, kissing and sucking as he goes until his hot breath covers the top of my breasts just above my V-neck tee.

  “Um, I’m not sure,” I whisper, losing my train of thought as his index finger runs along the top of my breasts, his hand coming up to unbutton the first button of my blouse. I gasp, remembering where we are and what Dr. Lee said. He needs to take it easy for the next few days…

  “Wait, you’re supposed to take it easy, Gavin.”

  He ignores me, releasing the first and going on to the second button on my shirt as his other arm tightens around my waist. I lean back fractionally, the exposed skin of my breasts feeling bereft without his touch.

  “Gavin, we have plenty of time and you’re recovering. Your ribs are broken and Dr. Lee said you might experience some headaches. There’s no rush.” I don’t know why I’m resisting his touch, our attraction is like a moth to a flame, and I have no hope of staying away for long.

  Gavin’s eyes are heated with want as he gazes down at me and runs his hands down my face. Oh, I love his touch.

  “Aria, I missed you. I want you. Let me touch you.”

  His heartfelt confession knocks down my defenses and I sag against him, feeling his hands run up my thighs and then resting against my hips. God, I miss him so much.

  “I missed you so much, baby.” The words echo my thoughts and when I blink up to his eyes, I see the emotion in them.

  “Oh, Gavin.” I press against him, kissing his mouth briefly and then meeting his eyes again as tears build in my own.

  “I was so afraid that I’d lose you. When Callie called me all I could think about was how I just walked away from you and if that had been the last time… God, I—”

  Gavin’s eyes widen suddenly and he pulls me to him roughly, grunting low in his throat as he takes my face in his hands and kisses me with such passion, his tongue slipping into my mouth as he holds me tight against his chest. I feel his love pouring into me with each lash of his delectable tongue, each pull of his mouth against mine. I feel his hands leaving my face where they run down my sides to slip under the hem of my shirt. His hands run up the bare skin of my back, his tongue licking hungrily into my mouth. He cherishes me with his kiss and I’m mesmerized, grasping onto his neck in need.

  “Baby, I couldn’t leave you. I love you more than I ever thought possible and I promise, I’m not going anywhere.”

  He kisses my forehead and leans back to wipe the tears that slipped down my cheeks.

  “Okay,” I whisper, returning my lips to his as he deftly undoes the last button and smiles that smile that always takes the breath from my lungs, his eyes filled with his desire for me.

  From behind me, I hear someone knock twice on the door. A moment later, pulling away from Gavin’s arms and twisting to see his mother peering into the room with a grin across her face. I gasp audibly. Shit! I slip off his lap hastily once I’m covered and stand by his bedside, feeling my cheeks heat. She must think I’m jumping on her son while he’s in a hospital bed after his accident! Oh, goodness, and I thought we’d hit it off at first, now who knows?

  “Mom, I didn’t know you were here,” Gavin says, chuckling as she makes her way into the room. Now seeing her without the cloud of emotion I’d had before Gavin awoke, I see how naturally beautiful his mother is. The shape of her face, the curve of her nose, even the gray eyes that compliment her ivory skin. She wears the same sweater and slacks, and I can see Gavin in the way she moves. Wow, they look so much alike.

  She comes to me and kisses my cheek before leaning back and squeezes my hands. I smile, trying to hide my uneasiness. I want her to like me, though I have no idea how to make that happen since my relationship with my mother has never been smooth.

  “It’s nice to see some color in your cheeks, Aria. Sorry to interrupt,” she smiles wider and gives me a wink before going to Gavin’s bedside. She sits beside him and takes his hand in hers, leaning down as she kisses his forehead.

  “You feeling okay, sweetheart?” She asks, gazing down at him lovingly.

  “Yes, mom. I’m good now. When did you get here? I thought you were still in St. Louis to see Mr. Jamison?”

  She shakes her head, and I go to the other side of his bed, where I sit in a chair, watching the motherly love Elizabeth has for her son.

  “I finished yesterday. A few hours after you left, I came right here. I’ve been worried sick, sweetheart. Don’t you dare scare us like that again!”

  He nods, squeezing his mom’s hand.

  “I’ll do my best, Mama. Have you heard anything about the other drivers? Is anyone hurt?”

  She’s quiet all of a sudden and gazes down at him,
then her eyes briefly shift to mine. Oh, no. There’s worry in them and maybe—fear? My heart constricts as a sense of dread courses through me. What’s happened?

  “The loader’s driver, we don’t know. He left the scene almost right away.”

  “And what about the other driver?” Gavin’s voice sounds calm and collected while I’m internally freaking out. Why would the driver hit Gavin’s car and then just take off? Isn’t that against the law?

  “Debbie Craig, yes, she’s okay. She has a few broken ribs and a sprained ankle, but other than that she’s fine.”

  Gavin tenses and he whispers something too low for me to hear to his mother.

  “I’ll take care of it as soon as I can. Dr. Lee said you’re good to go so I’ll call you tonight, OK?”

  “Sure, mom.” She kisses his cheek and leans over to clasp my hand in hers, squeezing gently.

  “Relax, honey. It’s all okay now.” Her voice is soft, nurturing. It immediately puts me at ease.

  “Thank you, Elizabeth.” I hug her and lead her to the doorway. She smiles warmly and then makes her way out of the room.

  Gavin’s quiet beside me for a moment and when his eyes shift to mine, they’re guarded and darkened by worry.

  “It’s not your fault, Gavin,” I whisper, running my hand over the stubble along his jaw and up his cheek. It really does grow quickly.

  He takes a hold of my hand, pressing my palm to his lips for a kiss.

  “I know. It’s just a shock. I asked my mother to make sure that the other driver is taken care of, physical therapy, hospital time. Whatever it is she needs.”

  My heart yearns for him, seeing the compassion in his eyes and his actions. It’s… sobering.

  “And how did I deserve you?” I whisper, watching as he makes his way off the bed.

  “Many reasons, baby. One being, you’re you, Aria.” Though his voice is teasing, I know his words are filled with meaning.

  Gavin winces as he stands and I mirror him, seeing for the first time the pain he’s in. I hold him up by his sides and he takes a deep breath, then slowly lets it out.

  “I’m getting you more pain medication before we leave,” I say, my eyes flicking down to his bandaged forearm. Some glass got into his arm and the gash had to be stitched up. I can see the dressing needs to be redone.

  “You okay to stand?”

  He nods, giving me half a smile as I lean over the bed and grab the roll of bandages by his bedside.

  “Aria, I’m fine,” he says, reaching for his jacket. I slap his hand away and lead him back to the bed and after a shake of his head, he sits in front of me and outstretches his injured arm to me.

  “You spoil me, baby.”

  I grin, biting my lip as I undress his arm, being careful not to hurt him.

  “Oh, trust me. This is only the beginning, I like taking care of you.”

  Once it’s undressed, I gasp when I see the cut in the middle of his forearm, stitched together intricately. My heart squeezes at the sight of it. God, I hate seeing this, him hurt and injured. I swallow, reaching for the roll of bandages with the hand not holding his arm.

  His blue-gray eyes blink up at me, softening when I gaze down at him. I worry my lip with my teeth, dressing his injury quickly and then exhaling audibly when the cut is covered in fresh bandaging, my eyes closing as I reassure myself that he’s really OK. He’s OK, he’s here with me.

  “Hey,” Gavin whispers as he caresses my cheek and pulls me between his legs, hugging me around my waist and pressing his cheek against mine. His warmth is welcoming and I press a kiss to his collarbone, holding onto him as he holds me.

  “I’m okay, we’re okay.” Gavin’s voice soothes me, chases away my fears from the past two days. I clutch onto his strong, taut shoulders and his mouth comes up to kiss my temple. I sigh as he cups my cheeks with his big warm hands.

  “I love you,” I whisper, reveling in the feel of his hands upon my face. Gavin smiles big, creating tingles on my skin and joy to unfurl in my stomach. Then he kisses my lips softly. God, I love him. I wrap my hands around his neck and sink my fingers into his messy hair.

  “I love you. Unconditionally, baby. Come on, let’s go home.”

  God, that sounds good, so good.

  Twenty

  I EASE OUT ONTO THE FREEWAY just as a familiar song comes onto the radio.

  “This song,” Gavin murmurs as he takes my free hand and lifts it to his mouth. Butterfly kisses that light me up from the inside are placed on my knuckles as he turns up the volume and when I hear lyrics sung in a deep, throaty voice with base and guitar in the background, I’m taken back to a party only weeks ago.

  Call it magic, call it true. I call it magic when I’m with you

  And I just got broken, broken into two

  Still I call it magic, when I’m next to you

  And I don’t, and I don’t, and I don’t, and I don’t

  No I don’t, it’s true

  I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t

  Want anybody else but you…

  I turn my eyes to Gavin’s deep blue grays, filled with nothing but love. Pure, unconditional love that I’ve been too scared to believe in for so long is staring back at me. I look up into those bright eyes of his and I know the same love is shining in mine.

  “You remember this song, baby?”

  I smile softly, put the Lexus in park outside our penthouse and lean over to rest my hand on his chest just above his heart.

  “It’s ours. The way you make me feel, Gavin. It’s magic.”

  Gavin closes the small gap between us, wrapping one hand around my neck and another around my waist to hold me close.

  “Aria.” Gavin’s mouth closes over mine then and immediately my lips fall open to welcome his passionate kiss. The way he licks ardently into my mouth, as if I’ll disappear at any moment, makes my heart beat rapidly and my hands pull gently on his, smooth, unruly hair.

  “Gavin… ” I say when I have a breath to speak but then I kiss him again, and again, deeper now that the desperation is flooding me. I clutch onto him and whisper against his mouth.

  “Let me get you inside.”

  Gavin pulls back and meets my eyes, chewing on that bottom lip of his. God, my core tightens deliciously at the sight of him. So sexy, so carefree, so mine.

  “Are you going to have your wicked way with me, Ms. Morgan?”

  “Um, no. I’m going to take care of you. You’re recovering from an accident, Gavin.”

  I remind him, but I’m reminding myself too because even though I want him with every molecule in my body, we can’t rush his recovery; I don’t—God, the last thing I want to do is cause any hurt to him. When I look back into his eyes, he’s still chewing on that lip, but now he’s pouting. His lower lip is as tempting as he catches it between his teeth.

  “Aria you can’t be serious, we need—“

  I cut him off with my hand to his mouth, then press a kiss to the line that’s formed between his eyebrows.

  “You need to rest. Come on, let’s go inside.”

  “I’m fine, baby. Stop worrying,” Gavin says for the third time since we walked in the front door. I pull out the top drawer in the marble topped island, which sits in the center of the kitchen.

  “Shh” is all I say while I rummage through the piles of papers and excess mess in the drawer in front of me. I remember putting a takeout menu to Kel’s favorite Italian restaurant in here before I left the penthouse that last day before the accident. Before my world almost fell apart at the seams.

  “I think,” Gavin drawls in that low voice of his as he comes up behind me and wraps his strong arms around me from behind, “that you should cook for me, baby.”

  “No way. If I cooked for you, you’d be back in the hospital tomorrow.”

  I chuckle, turning in his arms to see he’s smirking already.

  “You’ll never know if you don’t try, and maybe you’ll be good at it.”

  My brow f
urrows and I hastily shake my head.

  “I’ve tried, trust me. And cooking and I just don’t mix,” I say, turning back to the drawer and shuffling through more junk in an effort to find that menu I put in here.

  Gavin doesn’t say anything else, he just cups my nape in his hand and I can picture him smiling wider when he sees me sway against him at the skin on skin contact. He’s trying to distract me. God he feels so good and hard against me…

  “Hmm, Gavin,” I moan softly.

  His mouth comes down to kiss down my neck, along my shoulder and then one hand slides the strap of my tank top down so he can explore my skin with his mouth, lips and Oh his tongue.

  “So smooth, you have the smoothest skin.” He places another kiss to my flesh.

  “The most beautiful shoulders… and these?” His hands come up towards my breasts.

  Suddenly Gavin turns me and lifts me to sit on top of the marble counter top so that he is standing between my parted thighs. He slowly lifts my top over my head and sets it down somewhere behind him. A loud moan bursts out of me when he cups both my breasts in his hands, kneading gently. Instantly, my core floods with arousal. Being touched after so long without it, it’s magical.

  “These. Are. Perfect.”

  When his mouth comes down to tease and torture me, my head falls back in such pleasure.

  “Feels so good,” I murmur, wrapping my legs around his hips and pushing the fingers of my free hand into his long hair.

  Gavin licks and teases my breasts, around the areola and then bites down gently. Immediately my core is flooded.

  “Oh God, oh my God, Gavin.”

  “So beautiful, Mine.”

  He takes a hold of my hips and before I can think to stop him, he’s kneeling in front of me and ever so slowly peeling off my boy short panties. When did he take my jeans off? I have no idea, all I can focus on is that now I’m bared to him and this man, he’s here. He’s truly here with me and all I can feel is my heady need to feel him inside me. I want to be consumed with him. I want to delight in the pleasure that only he can give me.

  “Wait, Gavin. You’re recovering… ” I whisper, pressing my hand to his smooth cheek and those gorgeous eyes of his tip to meet mine.