Finding Beautiful

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  “Hi,” I whisper, leaning up to capture his mouth in a slow, sweet kiss that leaves whispers of it on my tingling lips. He wraps me in his arms and murmurs against my parted lips.

  “It’s almost four, I’m going to give Spencer a call and have him come as soon as he can.”

  I lean back, my eyes widening at his tone. It’s domineering and I can hear the underlying worry in his voice.

  “What are you going to do? I don’t want to live in fear, Gavin.”

  He takes a hold of my hands and massages them gently before he speaks again.

  “We’re going to talk with Spencer. I usually only use the security team which includes him and two other guards, Daniel and Aaron, for public events and company uses, but I’m not going to take any risks with your safety. I have to know you are safe; I won’t be able to leave this bedroom with you unless I know that you’ll be safe out there. I’m going to move them into the upstairs apartment, for the time being. If you’re not at home, one of them won’t be far, Aria.”

  I’m taken aback and I immediately pull fractionally away from him, running a hand through bed-head hair as my thoughts return to the note Bryce left me.

  You forget, Ari. You’re Mine. A chill races up my spine at the thought of those words.

  A cold, unwelcome shiver goes through me and I clutch his hand in mine, silently letting him know I’m still with him. I’d never liked having security guards growing up, but with the constant media influence on my mother, my sister, and me, I had no choice in the matter. But this is so much different. Back then, my mother used to always say “I know you don’t like it, but they’re here to protect you, my sweet girl. If you ever found yourself in a swarm of reporters, they’ll be the ones to guide you through it. It won’t be forever, just for now.”

  I know this is what has to be done for Gavin to protect me, but a part of me wonders that no matter how many guards I have, could Bryce still find a way to get to me?

  “Do you really think he’s going to try and find me?” I whisper after long seconds of silence. Gavin’s blue-gray eyes widen, seeing my fear and he scoots forward, cupping both my cheeks and presses his forehead to mine.

  “Yes, I do, and I’m not taking any risks with your safety, baby. You are my life now; you’re the air I breathe. I love you, Aria.”

  Gavin’s deep voice is raw with emotion and I lean back, nestling my fingers into his hair and kissing his lips gently, tenderly, trying to convey the love I have for him. It consumes me and even though right now I’m scared of the inevitable, Bryce finding me and taking me away from this man, I’m not running. I will not run.

  “I’m so afraid that he’s going to find a way to take me away from you.” My voice breaks on the last few words, the truth of my fears and I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from building. I have to be strong. This time, I’m not alone.

  “Shh, Beautiful. You’re safe and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

  Thirty

  I WAKE TO SEE SUNLIGHT pouring in through the tall windows in our bedroom; the light casts shadows along the side of Gavin’s face where it’s turned facing me while he sleeps. I reach over and skate one finger down the side of his cheek, over the course stubble he’s grown since the last time he shaved. The hair under my fingers tickles my skin and I feel the tug of his mouth when he wakes.

  “You’re staring, Beautiful.”

  His voice is groggy with sleep and slides over my ears like velvet. Lying here with the man I love, I know that I’m safe with him. I trust him to keep me safe, no matter what happens. I smile softly and lean closer to him to catch the smell of his minty musky man smell and it smells of home.

  “Good morning.” I whisper against his lips and have to stifle a moan when he licks the seam of my lips, laying soft lips over mine. Sighing into his kiss, I open to him.

  “Definitely a good morning so far,” Gavin whispers against my mouth and I can feel his smile. His hand slides from my hair to my bare breasts and he flicks his thumb over each one, creating a desire deep inside.

  “Gavin… ” I warn, knowing that I missed the rehearsal dinner last night though with everything that’s happened I know my sister and our friends will understand. But Kel has always been there for me, beside me through everything that’s happened in this last year and I should have been there last night to cheer her on. What kind of horrible sister am I that I couldn’t show up on the night before her wedding?

  “Hey, what’s wrong, baby?” Gavin lowers one hand to my waist and he takes hold of my hip to pull me closer.

  I blink up into his eyes and see concern there.

  “The rehearsal, I missed it. Kel must be so pissed.”

  I see the understanding register in his eyes and he squeezes my hip to comfort me.

  “Let’s head over to the church early and you can tell her what’s happened. I’m sure she’ll understand. Your safety comes first, Aria.”

  Pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead, Gavin leads me out of bed and toward the kitchen once we’ve changed into casual clothes.

  “I’ll order from the bakery so we don’t have to cook. Sound good?”

  I nod, take a hold of Gavin’s hand and press it to my lips.

  “I’ll give her a call now. When do you want to speak with Spencer?”

  “He can come down after you’ve eaten. You know you don’t have to go through all of this with him if you don’t want to. But it could help to better protect you if he knows the kind of man they’re looking for.”

  A shudder runs through me, knowing exactly what kind of man he was. Is.

  “I want to.”

  * * *

  I’m still working on the last of my cinnamon raisin bagel when Spencer knocks three times on the front door. Gavin squeezes my hand gently across the table before he goes over to answer the door. The two men shake hands and I see that he is dressed in faded jeans and a blue Dolphins tee, much different from his usual attire. But, it is a Friday afternoon and he must have a personal life of his own. His piercing green eyes meet mine and one side of his mouth lifts in an almost smile.

  “Good to see you, Ms. Morgan. Are you doing OK?”

  There is genuine concern in his voice and I nod. Gavin pulls me into his side and looks down at me as he speaks to Spencer.

  “We need to go over everything we’re going to do to keep her safe. He should have never gotten close to the front door, Spencer. How did that happen?”

  I hear the strain in his voice when he asks this and I also see the crease in his eyebrows that tells me he’s trying to reign in his temper.

  “I believe he either had the flowers delivered or used an alias on the car he drove into the complex. The security camera footage I saw was clear. There is no way Williams himself delivered them.”

  Gavin nods, registering the information and leads me to sit on the couch with him snugly next to me. Spencer instead sits on the ottoman angled towards us and continues to go over each and every detail he’s obtained from the security footage of both the front lobby in our complex and the back parking lot. He’d have to enter through one of them and there was no sighting of Bryce at all. That fact lightens the fear weighing in my chest that he was in our home. But he was still able to get those flowers and the note to me and that is scary all on its own. If he could have gotten into the penthouse, what could have happened? As that thought registers in my mind, a chill covers my skin.

  “Aria, are you OK? Do you need to stop?”

  Gavin urges me to look at him with a finger under my chin and when I do, I shake my head quickly.

  “I’m good. Don’t stop on my account. What can we do to make sure he doesn’t get close again?” I aim my question to Spencer though I don’t take my eyes away from Gavin’s. The intensity in them steals my breath.

  “Well, both Mr. Thomas and I agree that making sure you are never—for any reason—left by yourself is a must. We already have Aaron following you, but I also want to bring on two more guards to stay in the
penthouse when you’re here on your own. There will be at least one of us, sometimes two if needs fit.”

  Is it really needed to have two men with me? Even when Gavin is with me? My mind is working on overdrive trying to process our current situation.

  “But, there is another option. One I think would work much better,” Gavin whispers the words near my ear and I turn towards him, looking up.

  “What?”

  Gavin takes my hands gently in his and soothes his thumbs over my knuckles. He looks at me solemnly; his blue gray eyes the only thing I can focus on.

  “Come away with me.”

  His wide, unblinking eyes are pleading with me and the determination in them stops my breath altogether. He is serious. He wants us to run away.

  “Gavin, you can’t—”

  He presses one finger to my lips and stops me.

  “I am serious. This man is not going to stop until he is caught and the fact is—this situation has to get worse before it is better. The minute he gets too close, we can call in the authorities and bring him in once and for all. But for that to happen, baby, he’s going to get desperate. He wants you. If you think I’m going to let him come near you, you don’t know me very well.”

  I clasp his face in my hands, knowing where his mind is and knowing that he is so afraid to lose me. But running? No way. I’ve spent the last months running from what that horrible man did to me and I refuse to run ever again. Not from him.

  “I love you for wanting to take me away but Gavin, I won’t run. This is my life, our life. I won’t let him dictate it. We will catch him. I’ll do everything you tell me to in regards to my safety. You’ll keep me safe.”

  I see the struggle in his eyes as he stands and begins to pace. I feel empty without his touch, but I let him continue to pace a hole in the carpet.

  “We can go to Paris. See the sights, find some small village to live and we can make love every day. Just us. Please, run away with me.”

  His footsteps become faster he goes on and tells me everything we’d do in Paris, Milan and even Venice. My heart yearns to do so many of those things with him by my side. Travel. See the most beautiful sights, places I can only dream of. And someday, maybe we will. But not because we’re running away. Gavin turns, his blue gray eyes looking at me, locking me in and holding me captive. A mix of desperation, love and such fear clouds them. He gets down on his knees then and takes a hold of my waist. I blink through the moisture in my eyes and see the love and desperation in his eyes. This man, my man, is afraid.

  “I can’t. Gavin, I spent this last year running. First from my grief and then from Bryce. I won’t let him think I’m afraid anymore. You have helped me find my strength and I know I’ll be safe with you. We can get through this. Together.”

  I get up from my seat and slide to my knees in front of him. Wrapping my arms around him, I press my face into his neck and when his arms come around me, his mouth presses to my forehead.

  “I hate that I can’t protect you from this. You deserve the world, Aria. I promise I’ll give it all to you, but first we have to ensure you are safe.”

  His voice is filled with the raw emotion we both feel in this moment. I can hear everything he’s feeling, even the things he doesn’t want me to, in his voice.

  Lifting my face, I press my mouth to his for a hard, desperate kiss.

  “Thank you.”

  It’s almost five by the time Gavin walks Spencer to the door and they shake hands. I hear the door click closed and sigh in relief that that part of the day is over.

  “How would you feel about a bath? And then I’ll let you be to get dressed.”

  Gavin helps me up, and when I stand I feel just a bit dizzy. I close my eyes, and sway into a warm, firm chest.

  “Aria? Are you feeling alright?”

  I nod and smile gently.

  “Let’s get you in that bath.”

  Gavin picks me up in his arms and carries me towards the bathroom, kissing me the whole way. Though I know he’s still worried, I feel the tension slip from him in a matter of seconds in our closeness. I’m settled in a perfectly warm bath with bubbles and fragrances of lilac, my favorite. When Gavin goes to move away, I clasp his hand.

  “I thought you were coming in with me?”

  He dips his forehead to mine and presses teasing kisses down my cheek and then my jaw.

  “If I go in there with you, we won’t make it to Kel’s wedding.”

  His words make my blood heat and lower parts heat up as well. I bite my lip and nod.

  “Well… ” I go to grasp the end of his shirt, but Gavin laughs softly and pulls away.

  “Take your time, baby. I’ll meet you in the living room.”

  And with that, he kisses my cheek and leaves me with my lust filled thoughts.

  * * *

  I smooth the lavender satin dress down my sides and step back to look at the full length mirror in front of me. I decided to leave my hair down, curled in subtle waves instead of my unruly hair that I usually pull back from my face. My ivory skin seems like it’s glowing next to the light shades of gray I used for eye shadow. I’m pretty sure I’m being such a girl since I know Gavin loves how I look without any cover at all. Why would he mind what dress I’m wearing?

  “Christ, you are so beautiful.”

  The moment I see Gavin at the entrance of our bedroom, dressed to the nines in a freshly pressed black suit jacket, along with a navy blue button down shirt and a matching tie, my heart stops in my chest. Oh, he’s gorgeous. He looks like he’s stepped off the pages of Vogue, and I’m naturally drawn to him. I meet his intense eyes that are grayer than I’ve ever seen them.

  “So beautiful,” he murmurs, coming to me as I secure a black sash around the waist of my lavender dress that fits in the best way. He tucks a strand of my wavy hair behind my ear. His hand wanders down my back while I secure my last earring, a pair of emerald green pendants that my dad gave me for my eighteenth birthday. I’ve always treasured them.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” I whisper, reveling in the feel of his hand along my cheek, then his lips descend on mine. They devour me, destroy my every thought so that I almost miss his hand going to his front breast pocket of the jacket he wears and pulls out something. My hands delve into his hair as he pulls his lips fractionally away from mine as he speaks slowly.

  “I have something for you, Beautiful.”

  I lean back, my heart beating fast in my chest at the idea of him getting me a gift. He’s given me so much, how much can he possibly give before he tires of me? I push my stupid insecurity to the back of my mind, my eyes widening when he places a rectangular box with dark blue velvet trim around it. It’s a jewelry box.

  “What’s this?” I whisper as I gaze down at it and then back up to his deep soul-baring eyes.

  “This was my grandmother’s, she gave it to me before she died. My grandfather gave it to her when he proposed to her and she told me to save it for the woman I fell in love with and baby, that’s you. I’m in love with you, Aria.”

  Oh my God. My heart starts to beat faster and tears prick at the backs of my eyes. Is he…

  “Hey, relax please, baby. I’m not proposing to you now, not until I know for sure you’ll say yes. But, this—”

  He opens the box, displaying a beautiful gold chain, with a singular emerald green pendant in the center of it. Surrounding the stone are two heart shaped diamonds and two letters. On the left side is a cursive A, and to the right is a mirrored letter G. It takes my breath away and a lone tear falls to my cheek as I feel the love in his blue-gray eyes that penetrate mine.

  “This is an heirloom of hers and now, it’s yours baby.”

  Oh, my. He wants to marry me, he’s going to propose and God. Is this a dream?

  “Gavin, it’s so beautiful. Thank you, I love you,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to his neck just below his Adam’s apple.

  “Our initials?” I whisper, joyful tears pooling in my eyes.

 
“I had them put in yesterday morning. I wanted to make this special to us.”

  “You amaze me,” I whisper, leaning forward and pressing my mouth to his for a soft yet passionate kiss that creates pooling desire in my core again. I feel like this never-ending need to have him inside me will never cease, and I pray that it never will. He smiles against my lips and chuckles as he pulls away, his eyes heating when I catch his bottom lip in my mouth, nipping softly until he moans from the contact.

  “If we don’t leave soon, I’m afraid we might be terribly late for your sister’s wedding,” he teases and begrudgingly, I release him and turn to face the mirror as his arms wrap around me, pressing a hot open-mouthed kiss to the base of my neck.

  “Will you put it on me, Gavin?”

  He removes the necklace from its box and lays it on my collarbone, doing the clasp effortlessly and pressing a kiss to my temple in the next second.

  I gaze in the mirror and stare in awe at the beautiful gem around my neck.

  “Thank you. This is so special to me,” I tell him, smiling as he turns me and picks me up into his arms. Again, he meets my mouth with ardent, adoring lips. His tongue slips into my mouth, and I moan, loving the feel of him when he pulls away too soon for my liking.

  “Come on, Beautiful. You’re tempting me,” he murmurs in my ear, his warm breath grazing my cheek causing my teeth to go down onto my lip in order to stop the loud moan that threatens to slip out.

  “Tempting you to what?”

  His answering smirk is a promise and it spurs my desire more.

  “You,” he leans down to press a hot kiss to my throat as he speaks, “are tempting me to lock you in the bedroom and forget about this wedding you’re so eager to attend, Ms. Morgan.”

  A delicious shiver runs up my spine and I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his slender hips as he carries me through the bedroom and towards the back entrance, his lips whispering against mine all the way.

  I’m so gone over this man.

  * * *

  Kel is near tears as I make my way into the bridal room on the second level of St. Mary’s Lutheran Church, the church where seventeen years ago, my dad married my mom. It’s also where I was christened as a baby, and that thought warms my heart.