Kade

by Dawn Martens

  Chapter Forty Two

  KADE

  It’s been three weeks since Nikki left me. I’ve tried going to Chase’s place, but he never lets me in to talk to her. I feel like I’m going insane. I’ve tried calling, but last week the phone stopped ringing, saying it was disconnected instead. I tried to get her new number from Layla, but she wouldn’t budge. I’m such a fuck up.

  When I pull up to the house and see Layla loading Nikki’s things into her car, I freak right out. I even start to pull her things out of Layla’s car. I'm not letting Nikki leave me. James comes out of the house and keeps a hold on me, while Layla finishes getting Nikki’s things, and he doesn’t let go until Layla is gone.

  Fuck.

  I wish I could go back and change things.

  I’m going out tonight. Hopefully I can catch her out and about. I heard something about her and Ryder, but I can’t- no, I won’t, believe that right now.

  NIKKI

  It’s been a month since my accident. Kade tries to talk to me almost every day. He comes by Chase’s apartment, but never gets let in. I'm all ready to talk to him again, let him tell me what actually happened, and possibly try to work things out, until I find out he's still hanging around Ashley. Even Chase is now pissed at him; apparently Layla had to break up a fight between the two brothers. I never should have started anything with Kade because now I have Chase fighting with Kade- and that’s all on me. I really want to know what the fuck is going on with them. Why can’t he just break that friendship and be with me? We wouldn’t be in this mess now if he had just made a choice. Or hell, he could keep Ashley as a friend, just stop putting her before our relationship. I need a guy who will put me first. Layla went over to the house and grabbed all my stuff, apparently Kade tried to pull all of my things out of her car. James had to come over and hold him back.

  I’ve been helping Layla take care of the baby. He’s just so damn cute. My heart hurts a little because I can’t help but think if Kade and I had worked out, we could be having a child together one day.

  My mind made up, I walk up the stairs to Ryder’s apartment. I’ve never been here before, and the place looks pretty neat. Ryder is just locking up his front door as I approach.

  “Hey, Nikki, is everything okay?” he asks as soon as he sees me.

  “Everything is fine. I actually just wanted to talk to you about us,” I say, mustering a small grin.

  “Us?” he asks, confused. “What about Kade?”

  Kade, Ugh.

  “Kade and I are over, have been for a while now. I was thinking maybe we could give us a shot? If you’re still interested?” I ask him, my gaze drawn to his lips. He has sexy lips. Not like Kade’s, but still sexy as sin.

  “I think we should give this a go, Ryder, don’t you?” I add, when he stays quiet for a few moments.

  “I guess we could give us a try, or we will always be wondering what if,” he says, still sounding unsure. To help him with his decision, I lean forward and kiss him. I just touch my tongue with his when I hear a gasp from behind me. I spin around and see the back of a woman, blonde hair and a stunning figure.

  “Who was that?” I ask, eyes narrowing. At least with Ryder I know that the other women don’t mean anything to him, it won’t be a Kade repeat.

  “A friend,” he says softly. Regret in his voice.

  “Are you sure you want to do this, Ryder?” I ask him when he doesn’t say anything else.

  “No, I think we should give this a shot,” he says with a smile.

  There's only one problem.

  The smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

  ******

  Chase works his magic and gets me an apartment in the same building as his. I almost choke on my coffee when I find out that he does, in fact, own the whole building. Typical, just typical. My apartment is two bedrooms, one bathroom, and decorated all in white, black and grey. It’s very modern and classy, and I'm completely in love with it. The best part is I can see Layla and Cole whenever my heart desires. I can also babysit for Layla anytime she needs me. I splurge and buy myself a new bed with a wrought iron headboard. It’s simply gorgeous. To add some color to my room, I put on an emerald green bedcover and satin sheets. I do a little dance. I'm gonna love living here.

  I’ve been living on my own for a week now, and I have to say, this fucking sucks. I feel so lonely. Layla is always busy with the baby, so we really don’t get much time together. James stops over a few times during the week, but doesn’t really stay for long before he gets a call and needs to leave. He’s been great to hang out with. We also never talk about Kade. Last I heard from Layla was that James and Kade have been fighting. James is pissed about the whole Kade and Ashley thing.

  I’m just lounging out on the couch, feeling depressed, when there is a knock on my door. I’m shocked to see who's on the other side. Lucy.

  “Um, hey, Lucy, come in.” I’m sure the shock is plastered all over my face.

  “What have I told you, Nikki? Call me mum,” she says while giving me a hug. “I just wanted to see how you’ve been doing. I heard about your accident. I’m sorry I haven’t visited sooner, we’ve been away overseas.”

  “I’m fine, actually. I was really lucky.” We go into my living room and sit down. “Would you like anything to drink?”

  “No, thank you.” She gets comfortable on my couch and then sighs. “I heard about you and Kade breaking up.” She gives me a sad smile.

  “Yeah, it was bound to happen. I don’t know why he just doesn’t get with Ashley, they act like they're together anyway.”

  Lucy shakes her head. “Kade doesn’t feel that way about her, he never has. Their whole friendship basically stems from Damon, and that damn letter.”

  I frown. “This is the third time I’ve heard about Damon, who is he?”

  Her eyes get watery. “He was Ashley’s big brother and Kade’s best friend. He died in the army.” She shakes her head and the watery eyes disappear. “I hope Kade comes to his senses about her soon, I’m still convinced you're the one for him.” I smile sadly, knowing I’m not his number one priority, and probably never will be. I don’t say anything back to her about Kade. We make more small talk for a while, and then she gets up to leave, telling me to call her any time.

  Chapter Forty Three

  For our first date Ryder and I decide to go to the movies. I drag him out to see the latest Twilight movie (sue me, I’m a Twi-hard).

  “Seriously, Nikki? Twilight?” he says it like he’s going to get shot for being here. I laugh at him.

  “Trust me, it’s good.” I smile sweetly at him.

  “If you say so. But if it sucks, I’m making you watch BASEketball.” I instantly groan because I hate that fucking movie.

  We find our seats and move up the arm that’s resting between us, out of the way so we can snuggle. I have to say when I think certain people died, I bawl like a baby, and Ryder just laughs at me. Jerk! He laughs even harder when I scream out loud, “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

  When the movie's over we walk out hand in hand. “So, what did you think?”

  “Actually, not too bad. I didn’t know it was a comedy.” I smack him.

  “Oh, shut up.” I laugh. “But was it good enough that I don’t have to watch that stupid BASEketball movie with you?” I bat my eyelashes at him.

  He chuckles. “No, I won’t make you watch it.”

  Phew, thank god.

  When he takes me home, he kisses me goodnight. It's a sweet, gentle kiss. I don’t try and analyze how it makes me feel.

  Before he turns to leave he asks me to go out with him again. “Want to come watch my band play tomorrow night?”

  “Sure, no plans, want me to meet you there?”

  “Yeah, that works. See you then.” Then he leans in and gives me another kiss.

  I call Layla when I get in, knowing she's probably waiting up for the details of our date. Layla wasn’t too happy wh
en she found out I was dating Ryder. She was hoping for Kade and me to get back together.

  The phone only rings twice before she picks up. “So, how was it?” Whoa, straight to the point, not even a hello.

  “It was good. We just went to the movies, he brought me home, kissed me goodnight, and asked me to watch him play tomorrow.”

  Silence. “How was the kiss?” Why is she asking me something like that?

  “It was nice,” I say slowly.

  “Nice? Just nice?”

  “Yeah. Nice,” I repeat.

  “Just nice sucks, Nikki. You know that. When are you going to see that Kade is perfect for you? And I don’t like it that you’re using my cousin to get over Kade. I don’t want him hurt either. Ryder was seeing someone before he started dating you, and she was perfect for him. I want them to get back together!” She’s getting mad.

  “Look, Layla, Kade fucked up, okay? So I’m giving Ryder a chance, and if he was seeing someone before me, that’s his decision,” I say defensively.

  “Yeah, he did, but he’s tried making up for it. Now you're the one screwing it all up.” Layla and I barely ever fight. And I really don’t want to now.

  “Look, I gotta go, I don’t want to fight over this. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She sighs. “Ok, Nikki. Later.”

  I flip my phone off and sit back onto my bed.

  This whole thing is one huge, giant mess.

  ******

  I’m getting ready to head out to meet Ryder at Steele. I love watching Morning Alliance play and it’s been a while, so I can’t wait.

  I check my reflection in the mirror. I’m dressed in brand new tight jeans and a black see-through blouse, my bra visibly showing. I’m wearing black boots, which are also new. They are stiletto and have cute buckles on them. My hair is down and wild, and I’m wearing a brown smoky eye makeup with a nude lip. I reapply my lip-gloss and then head out to my car.

  Pulling into Steele, I walk in and take a seat at the bar. I order my usual drink and glance over at the stage. All the equipment is set up, so they must be on soon. I cringe when I see Kade sitting there at a table with James. I quickly look away, but a moment too late because Kade sees me and storms over. I can tell he’s pissed. His lips are pursed, his jaw clenched. He grabs onto my arm and pulls me aside, into a corner. My drink drips over the side of the glass.

  “What the hell, Kade?” I ask, wiping the drops from my hand onto his shirt. That ought to teach him.

  “Why are you here with him?” Kade sneers.

  “With who?” I ask innocently.

  “With Ryder!” he growls. How does he even know? I walked in alone and I haven’t even seen Ryder yet.

  “We’re dating. And I came to watch him play like a good girlfriend,” I tell him in a ‘duh’ kind of tone.

  I start to move around him, not wanting to miss Ryder coming out on stage. Before I turn around he pushes me against the wall and kisses me forcefully. The kiss is hard, punishing. I push him away, furious.

  “What the hell was that?” I ask, shocked.

  “That is me showing you how much I want you,” he says huskily.

  “Move away,” I demand.

  “No. I miss you, Nikki,” he admits to me.

  “No, you don’t. We had fun. You have fucking Ashley. Now move!” I say, hands on my hips.

  “I don’t have fucking Ashley, she and I are just friends! I haven’t been with anyone since you!” he huffs.

  “You and Ashley, just friends.” I laugh, and it doesn’t sound pleasant. “Really, so why the fuck were you two in bed together? Huh?” I demand. I guess the time for answers is now.

  “Look, Ashley had a hard night, she just needed a place to stay, and I comforted her. That’s all,” he says, his eyes staring right into mine.

  “Right, okay. You didn’t have to fucking sleep in the same bed as her. You would kill any guy that slept in mine, even if it was just friends for comfort.” I pause for a moment, regaining my breath.

  I let him walk me outside, so we can actually hear each other talk. I don’t say a word, just stare at him as he starts to explain all about his friend.

  “Damon was my best friend. We met when we were just in Kindergarten. We got along so well, we were really close, like family. Ashley hung out with us every so often, it wasn’t until I found out that Ashley and Damon’s mother would hit her, that I allowed her to hang out with us more often. Their mother wasn’t a nice woman, she would say mean things and put them down all the time. Damon ended up enlisting in the army. When he passed away, he asked me to look after Ashley. Their father walked out on them when they were kids, and their mother abused her. It’s partly why I was so pissed you hit her. She has no one left except me, and it’s something I will always do, Nikki. What you walked in on was her seeking comfort. It was the anniversary of Damon’s death. We slept, that’s all. I see her like a little sister, Nikki. The thought of her and me never even crosses my mind.” I take in what he says, and I feel for him. Hell, I feel for Ashley, she lost her brother and her mother was a total bitch. But it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s noble of him to keep this promise, but not when it’s ruining our relationship.

  His eyes are pleading with mine. “So because you guys needed comfort, you snuggled all night? Right, so should I go and ask Derek, who is just a friend, if he can snuggle with me when I’m feeling down? Instead of turning to you?”

  “I fucked up,” Kade whispers, as a tear falls down his face. Fuck, that pulls at my heartstrings, but I just can’t do this with him.

  “Damn right, you did. You can’t have us both, Kade. Ashley causes nothing but fucking problems for us. She wants you, and you are too fucking stupid to realize it. You always take her side over everything. One day, Kade, you will finally realize I’ve been right all along.”

  Kade tries to pull me into his arms, but I shove him off.

  “Well, I never thought I’d say this, Kade, but you have to choose, me or her. And while you decide, I’m going back to my boyfriend.” When I say the word boyfriend, Kade looks like he just lost his whole world, and I try not to let that bother me. He did this. I’m about to make my way past him when he stops me with a hand on my hip.

  “You can’t mean that. I love you, Nikki, but I also can’t give up Ashley. I promised her brother I would always be there for her. Always. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t keep that promise?” he says, his eyes full of emotion.

  “Then I guess you made your choice.” I have tears in my eyes, but I’m determined not to let them fall.

  “I’ll see you around, Kade,” I say softly, raking my gaze over him one last time before I walk off.

  I take a few steps away, my breath hitching when I hear him call out, “Please, Nikki, don’t do this!”

  I ignore him and make my way back to my seat. Ryder is already into his first song and I didn’t even notice. Fuck. He beams at me when he sees me watching and I give him a little wave.

  Then I down my drink in two gulps.

  Chapter Forty Four

  KADE

  Nikki is dating another man. Ryder. My fists clench to deal with the pain in my gut. The thought of another man with her... It kills me. The way this whole situation played out was my fault. I know that. But I had no idea that she would try to move on. The fact that she has turned her back on us hurts like crazy, and I can’t believe that I pushed her to this point.

  I feel like screaming. I have no idea how everything got so out of control. How things got so damn fucked up. I close my eyes and exhale deeply. There is one thing I know for sure.

  Nikki is mine, and I will get her back. There's no way she feels for Ryder what she does for me. I love her, and her dating Ryder is killing me.

  NIKKI

  I’m in the middle of some hardcore retail therapy when I literally bump into Ashley. Fuck! This week just keeps getting worse.

  “Well, well, if it isn’t Kade’s t
rash,” she sneers gleefully at me.

  I clench my fist, taking a deep, calming breath.

  “Well, well, if it isn’t Kade’s little friend,” I sneer back at her, dragging out the friend part.

  “We’re not just friends anymore. He has finally seen the light,” she says happily.

  My stomach drops. I knew this would happen. God, it hurts.

  “Whatever,” I mumble, starting to walk away from her before I end up punching her in the face.

  “Wanna know a secret?” she says loudly. “Kade and I never slept together that night. I played up being upset about my brother, so I could spend the night in his bed.”

  That’s it, I can’t do this. I start to walk away once more when she grabs my arm, and before I know it, I’ve reared up and punched her in the face. I hear a crunching sound and her hands fly to her face. “You fucking broke my nose,” she screams out. At least that’s what I think she said because it came out all muddled.

  “I’m gonna enjoy fucking Kade tonight!” she adds. The woman doesn’t learn, does she? I turn around, planning on teaching her another lesson when I’m suddenly being lifted up by a pair or strong hands.

  Kade.

  He pulls me into him, but when I glance up at him, he’s staring at Ashley, an undefinable emotion in his eyes.

  “I heard everything you said, Ashley,” he says in a strong, steady tone.

  “Kade! I…”

  “You’ve been like this to Nikki the whole time? I’ve never seen you be like this with anyone, and I’ve never known you to lie before. What the fuck, Ashley?” Kade interrupts.

  She looks slightly ashamed for a moment. “I love you Kade, I always have. When you stopped fucking around, I thought that was my chance, but then I found out you were doing it for her, and I lost it. I need you, Kade. Please,” she whispers out the please. I kind of feel bad for her.