When Memory Fails

by D. W. Marchwell

  “Yeah, Scott, love being inside you,” Hank grunted, and Scott felt the heat splash inside of him, his skin and brain feeling as if they were on fire. Scott’s tired brain registered first the emptiness as Hank pulled out, felt his legs being released and lowered to the mattress. And when he opened his eyes, Hank was lying on his back, his chest heaving and his tanned skin covered in sweat.

  “Stay there,” Scott whispered as he crawled up to push the hair out of Hank’s face.

  “Can’t move,” Hank huffed, his chest heaving and his lips curling into a smile.

  Scott scuttled into the bathroom, his every movement telling him that he would be feeling Hank for days. A more welcome sensation, Scott had never known. I have to find out where the hell he saw that article, Scott thought as he wet a washcloth and wrung out the excess. Jesus, fuck me, Scott thought. They sure as hell were right about the more-pleasure part. Scott couldn’t help but let his imagination wonder what other treats could be found in the article as he quickly wiped himself off, then picked up another washcloth, wet it, and wrung it out as well. Plus, he wanted to find out if there was anything he could do to give more pleasure to Hank.

  “That was fucking amazing, Hank.” Scott straddled the slim hips and began to wipe away the evidence of their renewed desire.

  “Wanted to lick it off you,” Hank muttered, his eyes teasing Scott.

  “We can do that tonight.” Scott dragged the warm washcloth over Hank’s skin, loving the feel of the hard muscle and the shivers it produced. “Who knew you were this sensitive after sex?”

  “I sure as hell didn’t.” Hank guffawed as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Must be you does that to me.”

  “The article was right,” Scott said with a blush. “About, you know… more pleasure.”

  “Fucking hell, Scrappy, watching you come all over yourself like that.” Hank took the washcloth and threw it toward the bathroom, then grabbed Scott in a bear hug, both of them flopping back down on the tangled sheets. “Never forget that sight.”

  “So,” Scott said as he took Hank’s foreskin between a thumb and finger and pinched gently. “Where did you say you read this article?” Scott blushed as the laugh started somewhere deep in Hank’s belly.

  Chapter 11

  “HEY, Uncle Scrappy,” Hank said, his voice stern but muted out of respect for Kari.

  Scott looked over at him.

  “This turkey is not going to cook itself. And you promised.”

  “I’m playing with my nephew,” Scott groused as he put his hand back on Kari’s belly.

  Hank chuckled as he watched Kari and Brian try to suppress smiles. He and Scott had arrived almost four hours ago, Scott having promised to lighten Kari’s cooking duties, but so far no one had been able to pry Scott’s hand off Kari’s tummy. “Don’t make me come over there,” Hank warned and heard Brian and Kari laughing quietly, as if sharing a private joke.

  “God,” Scott whined as he made his way over to the kitchen in Brian and Kari’s house. “It’s like living with the Gestapo.”

  “You promised,” Hank repeated and handed Scott the oven mitts as he turned his attention back to the mashed potatoes. He ignored Scott’s mocking imitation and turned to Brian. “Never thought I’d say this, boss, but I hope he turns out like you and not Scott.”

  “Ah, I’m standing right here,” Scott said, standing up suddenly, the turkey baster still in his hand.

  “He’s just teasing you, Scott.” Kari stood up with some difficulty, waving away Brian’s help, and made her way over to the counter to top off her mug of tea. “Besides, if he’s anything like my Justis, he’ll be absolutely, perfectly well behaved.”

  “Speaking of,” Brian said, lifting himself out of the armchair and making his way over to snuggle up behind Kari. “Shouldn’t he be here by now?”

  “I said he was well behaved, not punctual.” Kari rolled her eyes playfully and leaned back against her husband. “He was even two weeks late being born. Thankfully, he’s managed to cut that down to only a matter of hours since his birth.”

  “Okay,” Brian said as he kissed his wife’s neck.

  Hank and Scott exchanged a look. Neither of them had ever seen Brian quite so happy and relaxed. They’d thought, as the baby’s delivery date neared, that Brian would become even more of a wreck, but these past few weeks had actually mellowed him. He wasn’t as edgy or as preoccupied as he’d been in the early stages of the pregnancy. “Just tell me when I’m allowed to start worrying.” Brian escorted his wife back to the sofa and then sat beside her, his hand resting on her belly, Kari’s resting on top of his.

  As if speaking his name had summoned him from the airport, the doorbell rang, and Scott walked over. “Justis?” Hank heard Scott’s voice from the foyer and craned his neck around the fridge to see. Nothing. He couldn’t lean far enough to see what was happening. There was a general muddle of greetings and introductions as both Brian and Kari stood to welcome Justis into the living room.

  The first thing Hank saw was a six-foot-tall version of Kari. Same slim build, same impossibly blond hair, and the same friendly smile. Hank’s eyes bounced back and forth between Justis and Scott. He was more curious than ever to finally see his unborn nephew. Justis was proof of Kari’s genes, and Scott and Brian were genetic marvels in their own right, so either way, Hank figured that Matthew was going to be a real heartbreaker from the minute he was born.

  He couldn’t help but envy his unborn nephew at that moment. Kari welcoming her gay son home from university, Brian welcoming not only Scott and Hank into his home, but also Kari’s son. It was a depth of acceptance and love that Hank had never before experienced. But whatever Brian’s son turned out to be, gay, straight, or in-between, Hank could already see that Matthew would know unconditional love from everyone in this small and solid family. Of course, Hank wasn’t excluded from the enormous reach of the love and kindness that just seemed to radiate from this family, but it wasn’t the same. It was an incredible substitute, but it wasn’t the same as looking at your own family and seeing acceptance and love.

  There were introductions all around, arms crisscrossing as hands were shaken and greetings exchanged. Hank turned his attention back to mashing the potatoes while Kari and Justis settled on the sofa to catch up. Seeing how Justis’s hand went immediately to his mother’s belly, Hank wondered just how much longer he would have to wait before Kari lost her inordinate patience and told people to leave her alone. The thought made him chuckle.

  “You mash those any more and we’re gonna need straws,” Brian said as he nudged Hank with his shoulder. “Scott can look after those. Got something I need to talk to you about.” Brian headed out onto the deck, leaving Hank looking at Scott, both of them completely bewildered.

  Hank made his way out onto the deck, his brain assaulted by a torrent of possible topics. Things have been going well at work. Scott and I are better than ever. Maybe he doesn’t want Scott to marry me? Maybe he’s thinking I’ll mess things up again? What if he’s shutting down the business? Has he changed his mind about me being a godparent?

  “You remember me telling you about that big government tender?”

  Hank nodded, saying nothing but imagining that Brian didn’t get it and what that would mean for his business. They’d been scraping by with some private and corporate contracts for one- or two-day jobs here and there, but that government contract would bring more than enough money to take care of all Brian’s worries. “I, uh….” Hank’s stomach was up in his throat as he saw Brian look out at the blue sky. “Or I should say, we got it!”

  Hank thought his knees would give out, whether from relief or from being happy for Brian, he didn’t really know. “Congratulations, boss!” Hank extended his hand, but Brian pushed it away and pulled Hank into a tight embrace. It took Hank a few seconds, but he brought his own arms up and squeezed his brother-in-law, patting him on the back a few times. As soon as Brian released him, Hank said, “That’s great news, Brian.
I know how much that contract means to you.”

  “Which is why I asked you out here.” Brian was studying his face now, as if he had another reason but couldn’t decide if he should disclose it. “I’m going to need someone to look after the job, start to finish.”

  “Okay.” Hank stood there for a couple of seconds and then noticed Brian’s lips curling into a smile, the kind that seemed to say that Hank hadn’t been paying attention. Suddenly, it dawned on him. “Me? You want me to head that job?”

  Brian’s slow chuckle probably meant—or so Hank thought—that the question was not unnecessary but had also been answered already.

  Hank brought a hand to his forehead, his eyes fixed on Brian, still not completely sure this wasn’t some sort of joke or that Brian wasn’t playing some trick on him. “Uh… sure… if you think I can handle it.”

  Now Brian was actually laughing, and Hank wondered why Scott always teased him about it. There was nothing even remotely girlish about that laugh. If anything, Brian sounded just like James Earl Jones when he laughed. “Yes, to both questions.” Brian extended his hand and Hank shook it, still thinking he might be dreaming. “And,” Brian added when he released Hank’s hand, “I don’t want to hear any more shit about you not cashing paychecks. With this contract, we’ll be solidly in the black.”

  “Holy shit,” Hank said, raking both hands through his hair. “I don’t know how to thank you, boss. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  “You deserve it, Hank.” Brian leaned his frame against the railing of the deck and pushed his hands into his pockets, his smile fading slowly as he looked at Hank again. “There was one other thing I wanted to mention.” Brian brought his hands up to ward off a reaction from Hank. “We’re not going to talk about it unless you want to, but I need to say something, and I just wanted you to listen.”

  “I remember.” Hank squared his shoulders and prepared for Brian to make good on his threat of two years ago. As they’d been driving, Hank had promised Brian that he would never do anything to hurt Scott. But the few weeks that had seen Hank trying to reconnect with his father and failing had been hard on Scott. He’d even thought they were headed for a breakup until Hank had quickly corrected that misconception.

  “Remember what?” Brian seemed confused, and Hank began to wonder what they were going to talk about if it wasn’t how Hank had hurt Scott.

  “You told me that if I ever hurt Scott, you’d kill me. But, Brian, I just want you to know that I was—”

  “I do remember that, but he’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him.” Hank saw Brian steal a glance into the family room. Hank turned and saw that both Scott and Justis had their hands on Kari’s distended belly. He could only shake his head. “That’s not what I wanted to say.”

  “You still want me to be a godparent?” Hank had shoved his hands in his pockets, his fingers pulling nervously at the two loose threads inside.

  “What? Jesus, yes, of course.” Brian’s head snapped back around to look at Hank again. “Of course,” he repeated. “I don’t need to know any of the details, and I need you to know that Scott didn’t give me any at all, but I was hoping that you’ll think of us—me and Kari and the baby—as your family now.” Brian turned slightly. “Especially since you’re going to be marrying that Tasmanian Devil in there.”

  “I do think of you as family.”

  “No,” Brian said very bluntly. “I don’t think you do, because families are there for each other, in good times and bad.” Brian crossed his arms behind his back and sighed quietly. “I want you to think of me and Kari as your friends. We’re here to talk… anytime… if you need anything.”

  Hank could only nod, awed by how generous and respectful Brian had become toward Hank.

  “Well, that’s it, I guess.” Brian unfolded his arms from behind his back and rubbed them together slowly. “I just wanted you to know that I already consider you a brother.”

  Hank looked down at the cedar planking that formed the flooring of the deck, blinking rapidly to dispel the heat behind his eyes. After a few seconds, he looked up to find Brian still studying his face. “My father has….” Hank wasn’t sure of the proper phrasing. “Disowned me, I guess you could say, because I won’t give up Scott.”

  “I’m sorry, Hank.”

  Hank knew Brian had meant that, just as he’d meant everything that had come before it. The respect that Hank had always had for Brian the boss was quickly growing, right alongside the newfound respect Hank had for Brian the person. He’d always known Brian to be patient and fair, but he’d never gotten the chance to learn anything about Brian’s personal life, how he treated his loved ones, or whether he was as meticulous and obsessive outside of the office. “Yeah,” Hank said with a sigh, after a few seconds. “I’m sorry I put Scott through all that, but I want you to know I’ve learned my lesson.”

  “Hank,” Brian said with an amused chortle, “you and Scott are grown men. You can figure that stuff out by yourselves. But if you ever need me, don’t think twice before asking for my help.” Brian motioned forward with one hand, and Hank moved slowly to the patio doors. He felt Brian clap him on the shoulder. “You’re a good man, Hank. It’s a real shame that your father doesn’t see that.”

  Hank turned before pulling open the door. “You know, Scott said something almost like that.”

  “Yeah,” Brian deadpanned. “But if anyone asks, I’m the smart one in the family.”

  “ANYONE for more pumpkin pie?” Hank leaned forward, ready to respond should anyone actually say yes.

  “Please,” Scott whined and closed his eyes. “No talking about food right now. Or exercise. Or pants. Or—”

  “Okay.” Hank laughed, amused by Scott’s reaction. “How about turkey sandwiches?”

  “To eat or to talk about?”

  Hank looked over at Justis, who was sprawled in the armchair on the other side of the sofa. “You’d better not have eaten so much you can’t go out tomorrow. Scott and I have big plans for you and your boyfriend.”

  “When’s he getting here again?” Scott made an attempt at getting up and abandoned it just as quickly. “They may not cancel, but I just might.”

  “He said he should be here early. Maybe ten or eleven.”

  “You can’t cancel.” Hank lifted his long leg and poked Scott’s calf muscle. “You’re coming with us, even if I have to roll you around all day.” Hank ignored the finger that Scott gave him and turned back to Justis. “We’ll be here and ready to go. Just make sure you bring your hiking boots and dress in layers.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “First, to a wheelchair store,” Scott grunted as he tried sitting up. “Then to Mount Prevost.”

  “Just north of Highway 18,” Hank added, realizing that wouldn’t mean anything to Justis since he didn’t live here year-round. Hank even doubted that Justis had spent any meaningful time in Duncan, since his mother had moved here as he’d been heading off to university.

  “Ben loves hiking.”

  Justis had not said much about Ben, but he’d said enough for everyone to know that he and Ben had only been seeing each other for a couple of months and, even though he’d tried to play it cool, that Justis was head over heels in love with the guy. Hank could understand the feeling and found himself wondering what his life would have been like if he’d met Scott when he was twenty years old.

  “So your mom tells us that you’ll be graduating next spring.” Brian was sitting, perched on the corner of the sofa, with Kari leaning against his chest, both of them absent-mindedly stroking Kari’s belly.

  “Yeah, it’s kind of scary. Now I’ll have to go out and support myself, find an apartment and pay taxes and all that.”

  “Any ideas of what kind of job you’d like?” Hank leaned forward after seeing Scott catch his eye and mouth the word “pee.” He took Scott’s outstretched hand and pulled him to his feet. Hank laughed at his lover’s antics and turned back to see the others, just as amused. />
  “I’ll have a degree in Fine Arts, so I’m not really sure what will be out there for me, but I’ve always wanted to be a graphic designer.”

  “Hey, Scott?” Hank yelled across the living room toward the bathroom. “Did you hear that? Justis will be able to design the album covers for Dragonfly.”

  “God, I hate that name.” It wasn’t loud, but loud enough for Brian, Kari, and Hank to hear Scott and laugh. Justis looked from one face to another, his brow furrowed. Brian explained about how Scott had tried to veto the name of his jazz trio. Justis looked over at Hank, wondering aloud if he should keep saying the name of the group if Scott hated it so much.

  “Just wait until you’ve spent a day with him, Justis,” Hank said as Brian and Kari nodded. “You won’t know whether you want to take him home with you or lock him in a kennel.”

  Brian nodded exaggeratedly and offered a quick “Amen.”

  Hank chuckled to himself. He’d known that Scott would react in just that way. It wasn’t easy, but Hank always managed to find some sort of way to work Dragonfly into one or two conversations a day. He couldn’t resist teasing Scott about the name of his former trio. And with the mood Hank was in today, especially since Brian and he had spoken out on the deck, he felt almost sorry for how he would be teasing Scott tonight.

  As the others discussed graphic design, art, and even possible career paths for Justis, Hank began to make some very wicked plans for when he and Scott were alone in their home. He did enjoy teasing Scott, but he’d come to enjoy what it represented much more: teasing and playful banter were the ways Scott put everyone at ease, made everyone feel as if they were the only other person in the room. When Scott teased him, Hank immediately felt better. It was as if Scott were telling him that there was at least one thing Hank could always depend on. Teasing was Scott’s way of telling people he loved them, that he cared enough about them to try to make them laugh or even just smile.