Snowbound Hearts

by Benjamin Kelly

  “Yeah, that’s what she told me between moans and gasps for breath. She was pretty disappointed with you, Stevie. It took me hours and hours to console her. Damn near killed me.”

  Stephen squinted, trying unsuccessfully to focus on his wavering friend. “She understands that sometimes it takes a while for a man to get his head straight after something like—whatever the hell it was.”

  George stumbled his way through the kitchen, clutching the countertop for support. “You know what they say about getting thrown off the horse.”

  “Sometimes it’s better to let the horse run away so you’ll have time for the bruises on your ass to heal.”

  “Well, I’m not sure they are all they’re cracked up to be anyway.”

  “Yeah, they say a lot of stuff, but do we even know who they are?”

  “Stevie, I know it’s not the manly thing to do, but do you want to talk about it? You never did tell us what went on while you were snowed in. It freaked us out when we saw her. She was a dead ringer for you dream girl, and none of us could figure out how it happened. It couldn’t have been a coincidence, but what else could it have been?”

  “You know, I’ve been thinking about that. We’ve taken a lot of alcohol-fueled road trips, and honestly, there are months of my life that are really foggy. I know that whole days have been lost from my memory forever. I’m thinking that maybe I met Audrey before, and who knows, maybe we hit it off. It could be that we had a fling, and I split, you know, hurt her. I think maybe she was waiting for me to remember her. That would explain all the weirdness at the cabin and the dream girl thing too. I could have a subconscious memory of her.”

  George stood staring at the refrigerator like he had never seen one before. “That sounds plausible. Should we run that theory by the rest of the guys, maybe jog some memories loose?”

  Stephen threw his hands into the air. “Grab the handle and pull.”

  George opened the door and grinned. “Hey, there’s beers in here. You want one? It’ll help you forget about Red.” George grabbed out two beers and staggered back toward the bar.

  “Look, I appreciate everyone being concerned about me, but I’m okay. I know me and Audrey weren’t a real couple, but it feels like a breakup anyway. It’s nothing I haven’t been through before. We’ve all been through it, and we always survive, so I’ll be fine. I got knocked for a really big loop, and I just need some time to get my balance back.”

  George stopped midway, stepped sideways, and held out his arms for a moment before continuing on. “Whatever it was, we just want the old Stevie back.”

  “It was what it was, and even thought I don’t know what it was, that’s all it was,” Stephen said.

  “And the sad part is,” George said, setting the beers onto the bar, “I understood that. Do you think we’ve had too many of these?” He popped the top and held his beer poised to take a swig.

  “Nah,” they both said simultaneously.

  Someone put on Sinatra, “As Time Goes By.”

  “Oh, what the hell?” Stephen asked. “No Old Blue Eyes today, unless Eddie has blue eyes.” He hurried to the stereo, took off Sinatra, and popped in an old Iron Maiden CD. He jumped up onto the coffee table and to the cheers of his inebriated friends, did a ridiculous air guitar routine along with the first track.

  ***

  Stephen’s old pickup rumbled noisily down the interstate, the mind-numbing drone of the mud tires ringing in his ears. She was running fine, and the bass boat tagging along behind was behaving, the trailer having just had new wheel bearings and tires installed. Johnny and the guys were pulling out a lead as Stephen slowed for the exit ramp. He had purposely neglected gassing up at their last stop in order to have a legitimate excuse to pull off and let them go ahead.

  He followed his GPS into a neighborhood and stopped at the address. A late-model four-door Buick that shined like it had just been washed and waxed was the only car parked in the drive. Stephen had known all along that catching her at home would be a long shot. He parked on the street, double-checked the house number, and strolled to the door. Stephen’s heart pounded and his palms moistened as he considered what to say. He didn’t even know for sure he was at the right house. The cabin owner had been so reluctant to share the information with him that the address could have been fake. He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

  Curtains on the window beside the door rustled, and the lock clicked. A slim fifty-something woman with short brunette hair stood in the partially open door. “May I help you?”

  “Hi, I’m looking for Audrey Whitmoore. Oh, I’m Stephen.”

  A scowl spread across her face as she narrowed her eyes and glared at him. “Stephen, from the cabin?”

  “Yes, that’s me.”

  A man’s voice came from somewhere inside. “Cristina, who’s at the door?”

  She turned her head and softened her tone. “Someone with the wrong address. I’ll get him straightened out, honey.” She returned her attention to Stephen, her glare as hard as ever. “Audrey doesn’t live here anymore. I think you’ve caused her quite enough heartache. If you go hunting her down, you’ll only complicate things for her. There’s no room in her life for you. She moved out and moved on. I suggest you do the same.”

  Stephen raked his fingers through his hair to delay asking the one question that he needed answered. “Are you saying that she’s married?”

  She glanced past him toward the street as if considering his question. “Good day, sir.” With that, she closed the door.

  Stephen stood gazing at the wooden front door, wondering what had just happened. No one had ever been so short with him or shut a door right in his face, for no good reason. The woman at the door had obviously been Audrey’s mother. They bore some resemblance, especially around the eyes. He had been nothing but kind to Audrey and couldn’t imagine why her mother would be so angry with him. Stephen sauntered slowly down the drive, contemplating his next move. Mrs. Whitmoore had avoided his question about Audrey being married, but had insinuated that she was. If Audrey had gotten married, Stephen showing up on her doorstep could cause trouble. A jealous man might not be able to handle the idea of her spending three days alone with another man. And if she was married, Stephen didn’t think he could handle it. I should have never let her go.

  As he approached his pickup, unintelligible voices of people, apparently bickering, came from behind him. “Just trust me, Cristina,” a man said, right before a door slammed.

  Stephen turned to see the man jogging down the drive after him.

  “Hold up a minute, son.”

  Stephen waited to see what he wanted.

  The man extended his hand, and Stephen shook it. “I’m Joseph Whitmoore. I understand that you’re looking for Audrey.”

  “Yes, sir. Do you know where she is?”

  “I’m her father. Did I hear you tell my wife that you’re the guy from the cabin and your name is Stephen?”

  “Yes, I’m Stephen. It’s nice to meet you.”

  Joseph chuckled and shook his head. “That explains some things. Audrey never told me your name. She has a tendency to leave out key details.”

  Stephen nodded and grinned, having experienced that portion of Audrey’s personality firsthand. “Yes, she does, but I can’t imagine why my name would matter.”

  Joseph glanced down at his wristwatch. “Never mind about that. Why did you come here after all this time?”

  “Audrey didn’t tell me her last name. It took a while for me to track her down and more time for me to get up the nerve to come see her. We didn’t part on the best of terms. Mrs. Whitmoore doesn’t want me to bother Audrey.”

  “Cristina can be a little overprotective at times. She just wants what’s best for Audrey.”

  Stephen turned his gaze to the ground. The uncertainty of the situation was tearing him up inside, and he needed to steel his emotions before he lost control. “I don’t want to disrupt Audrey’s life, but I need to see her. I need answers,
and she’s the only one who has them.”

  Joseph gave him a reassuring nod. “Audrey needs to talk to you too. Even if it’s only to get some closure.”

  “Would you give me her phone number? The only one I could find for her is out of service.”

  “She had to change it. It’s no longer in her name.”

  Stephen’s heart sank. Probably in her husband’s name. “Does that mean she got married?”

  Joseph blew out a heavy sigh. “That’s something you need to discuss with Audrey. I’ve already poked my nose way too deep into her business.”

  Stephen took out his phone and waited for Joseph to give him the number.

  “I’ll do you one better than her number. She stops for coffee at the same little diner most days after work.” Joseph tapped the crystal of his wristwatch. “If you hurry, you might catch her.”

  ***

  Stephen rolled slowly past the diner that Joseph had directed him to, scanning the parking lot for Audrey’s car, but it wasn’t there. A convenience store was located in the adjoining lot, so he pulled up to a gas pump and filled his tank. Joseph had refused to give him Audrey’s number, saying that decision had to come from her. There was really only one way to find her in any reasonable amount of time; he’d have to convince her parents to set up a meeting. Stephen had traveled halfway across the state to see her. There was no way he was leaving until he did. Joseph and Cristina would have to accept that or call the cops and have him forcibly removed. He headed inside to grab a cold soda and work on a heartfelt speech to give them.

  On his way out of the store, Audrey nearly bumped into him. She was looking through her purse and not paying attention to where she was going. Her diamond wedding set sparkled in the sun, confirming Stephen’s fears. All his hopes for a life with her were shot down by a glint of light. He jogged to one side avoiding a collision and hastened his pace. Tracking her down had been a mistake. A lifetime of wondering about her would have been better than knowing she had chosen another man. A tightness gripped his chest, and the air suddenly seemed too thin to breathe. Everything before him shimmered like heat waves coming off blacktop. His world was crumbling around him, and he had only himself to blame. Each step he took felt like slogging through thick mud, but he had to make it to his truck and get away. He couldn’t bear to see her.

  “Stephen!” The sound of her voice penetrated all the way to his heart and reinforced the bindings crushing the listless remains of the once-vibrant organ. He stopped, but didn’t turn around. She ran to him and hugged him. “What are you doing here?”

  He drew a deep breath, determined not to let her know that he was on the verge of a complete breakdown. “Just passing through. I’m meeting George and the guys to go fishing.”

  “Oh, sounds like fun. Do you have time to get a cup of coffee? I’d like to talk to you, if you’re not in too big a hurry.”

  Stephen gazed at the traffic passing by on the road, unable to bring himself to make eye contact with her. Despite his determination, her presence was unraveling the last thread of his emotional control. “What do we have to talk about, Audrey?”

  She grabbed his hand and tugged it, but he held fast. “Please, Stephen, just come with me to the café next door and give me a few minutes of your time.” She had an urgency, almost desperation, in her voice that he didn’t understand, unless she was worried that her husband might spot them. He glared at the jewelry adorning her left hand as his stomach knotted and bile rose in his throat. She was gone, unavailable to him, the wife of another man. Stephen had blown his chance, and he needed to leave while he still had a shred of dignity remaining intact. “I see you got married. Congratulations, Audrey. Have a nice life.” He turned and hurried to his truck, but she ran after him and grabbed his arm before he could open the door.

  “Stephen, for God’s sake, let me explain. It’s not what you think.”

  He leaned his forehead against the driver’s door as much for support as a way to avoid looking at her. “Audrey, I spent three days with you, and you ruined my life. What more do you want?”

  “I want to give you the explanation I couldn’t give you before.”

  “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” Stephen climbed into the cab, started the engine, and drove away from the pump, but couldn’t leave without taking one final glance at her. Audrey stood motionless where he left her. He pulled onto the highway, watching her reflection grow progressively smaller in his rear view mirror, until he rounded a bend and she was gone.

  The devastated look on her face was the same one he had seen in the mirror every morning when he woke since coming home from the mountains, but no matter how it tore him apart to see her like that, he couldn’t spend another minute with her. The wounds she had inflicted upon him had barely begun to heal, and seeing her wearing a wedding ring ripped them wide open again. No amount of time or distance from her would ever be enough to repair his damaged heart.

  If she had wanted to give him an explanation, he should have been a man and listened, no matter how much it hurt. The right thing for Stephen to have done would have been congratulate her on her marriage and genuinely wish her a happy life. He could have, at least, pretended to be a gracious loser, for Audrey’s sake. He could still do that.

  Stephen whipped the truck onto the shoulder, did a wide U-turn, and sped back to the station. Audrey was sitting in a car with her head on the steering wheel. He tapped the driver’s window, and she jerked her head upright.

  “Actually, I could use a cup of coffee,” he said with a forced grin.

  They took a seat in a booth at the café and ordered.

  “Stephen, I’m sorry for ruining your life.”

  He raked his fingers through his hair and leaned back against his seat, working hard to keep himself together. “This may sound kind of stupid, but have we met before?”

  Audrey sighed and rolled her eyes. “I was hoping for a fresh start, Stephen, but not quite that fresh. After all, I had the best three days of my life at the cabin with you.”

  The waitress set two steaming cups on the table and strolled over to check on her other customers. “Seriously, before the cabin, did we meet sometime, maybe when I had a lot too much to drink? I got to thinking that maybe we had hooked up at some point and I was so drunk I blacked out. Maybe you were pissed at me about it and maybe you wanted to see if I would remember you. It’s just that I seem to have this subconscious memory of you in my head from before the cabin.”

  Audrey narrowed her gaze and gave him a smirk. “Have you really met people that you don’t remember?”

  “There were occasions in my younger, wilder days, hanging out with my friends, when I lost some time, maybe days—or weeks. The funny thing is, when I would black out, I still knew what I was doing, and I didn’t do things that I wouldn’t normally do. I think if I had ever hooked up with you, drunk or not, I wouldn’t have let you get away. If you gave me a choice, that is.”

  “Stephen, the first time we met was when you opened the door to the cabin.”

  “Okay, well, that shoots that idea.”

  Audrey stirred her coffee absentmindedly as if deep in thought. “I’ll tell you exactly what happened, but you might not believe it. Fate brought us both to that cabin, just like it brought us both here today. It’s the only answer.”

  Fate might have been a factor in the mountains, but it was love that had brought Stephen to Harrisonburg. The will of a man’s heart, no matter how badly damaged, is a formidable force to contend with, and Stephen had lost the battle with his. However poorly timed, or even completely misplaced, his love for Audrey was, he couldn’t make it go away. It was one of those things in life that he had no control over, and if she didn’t feel the same, he’d just have to live with it. “So, if it was fate, then explain why we didn’t we get together.”

  She sighed deeply and glanced around the diner as if checking to make sure no one was within earshot. “It would have been too much of a cliché.”

>   Stephen pressed his eyes closed for a moment, trying to get his head around what she had said. “What? I’ve heard a lot of excuses for not having sex, but that’s a first.”

  She took a sip of her coffee and grinned at him. “You know, like some romance novel where two strangers get snowed in, fall for each other, and spend the next few days making love.”

  Audrey was obviously trying to lighten the mood by being silly, but the heaviness of his heart had killed his sense of humor. “I’m not buying that.” Stephen sat gazing across the table at her brilliant red hair and freckles, the most freckles he had ever seen—except for once when he was a kid. “The U.S.S. Wisconsin.”

  Audrey bit her bottom lip and let her gaze wander for an instant, but quickly returned her attention to Stephen. “In Norfolk?”

  He slowly nodded as a long-forgotten memory played in his head. “My parents took me there one summer.”

  Audrey’s expression went blank. “My dad took Mom and me. He wanted us to see a ship like the one he had served on.”

  “I saw this girl. She had the reddest hair and the most freckles I’ve ever seen.”

  “Stop staring, Stephen.”

  “That’s what my mother said.”

  Audrey blinked twice as her eyes began to water. “But she’s so beautiful.”

  “That’s what I said. So, that was you? I don’t know why I didn’t connect the dots when you told me your dad was in the Navy.”

  “That’s why I chose your name, it has to be. Do you know what this means? You’re my Stephen after all.”

  He shook his head and shrugged at her nonsensical statement. “What?”

  Audrey grasped her rings and slipped them from her finger. She held them in her palm, gazing at them for a moment, then set them on the table. “I’m not married, Stephen.”

  Stephen flopped hard against the backrest and clasped his hands to his temples. “Holy shit!” The few patrons in the café all glared in his direction. Stephen grinned apologetically and gave them a little wave. He gazed at the wedding set on the table, letting the news she had just given him sink in. Joseph’s words came back to him. Audrey has a tendency to leave out key details. “Audrey, couldn’t you have told me earlier?”