Be My Reason

by Brooklyn Taylor

  “I have to say, honestly, Wyatt, this is the best date I’ve ever had.”

  “That’s kind of sad…a dinner on a tailgate?” I laughed, she didn’t.

  “It’s simple, it is beautiful out here, and you put some thought into it. And I mean it, the best date.”

  She placed her hand on mine and squeezed sweetly. I lifted it up and kissed her hand. I kept my eyes on her, taking in her smile.

  “You have a beautiful smile.”

  “Thank you.”

  I stood up off the tailgate and held my hand out for her to take. “How about a dance?”

  She moved quickly to me, seeming excited.

  I brought her in close and begun dancing with her to the music that was playing lightly. I spun her out and then brought her back bringing her close to me.

  I held her close and placed a kiss on the side of her neck.

  “I have never danced under the stars.”

  “Me either, sweetheart. Me either.”

  An hour later we were lying in the back of my truck bed holding hands with our bodies close. We had talked about anything that came to mind, easy and hard, her then me. Nothing seemed off-limits and I found myself more at home with this woman than I have ever been with anyone.

  She turned to me, lying on her side. “Have you ever met someone that you felt an instant connection with?”

  “You,” I said, and then swallowed hard.

  She didn't hesitate and didn't ask for permission before placing her lips on mine. She pulled away just a second, and I turned to my side and placed my hand on her cheek before running my thumb along her lips.

  Our eyes locked and I felt the radiation coming off both of us. It was electric. I kissed her again and her eyes remained closed. Mine I kept open because I feared to close them. If I closed them, it would end and I wasn't ready for that.

  We continued to kiss softly and then stopped. We would talk a little and then kiss again. Nothing more, nothing less.

  “I want to show you something,” I finally said, ending our night at the hill. I already knew what her response was going to be, but I wanted to see it with my own eyes. I needed to.

  I was falling for her. And she wasn’t going to be someone I would be able to keep myself from.

  BREIGH

  The feelings I was feeling, on the way to wherever Wyatt was taking me, were like I was in high school but more intense. You know: the excitement, the rush, the want. This man, there wasn't anything I didn't like about him yet. It scared me as much as it excited me. I wanted us to lie in the back of his truck and make out like kids, enjoying every minute, not rushing to the next step, taking each other in. His lips on mine always resulted in goosebumps, chills that rolled through my entire body.

  This wasn't a feeling of newness: the excitement people felt when something was new wore off. This was a meeting of souls. One night with him alone and I felt this way. We had spent time together but this was just different. More intense, more one-on-one when there was nothing in between. Just us.

  We pulled up to a mobile home, and Wyatt turned off his truck engine. He put his arm up on the bench seat and stared at it and then at me. He was waiting for something but for what I hadn't a clue.

  “What? What exactly are you showing me?”

  “A home.”

  “Okay? I don't get it. Am I supposed to know who lives here or…?”

  “What do you think of it?”

  “It looks like a home.”

  The yard around the double-wide was well-kept, and I could tell there was land all around it with some beautiful trees.

  “Anything else?” he asked. He was waiting for something but I hadn't a clue what. I looked at him lost, trying to figure out what he was expecting me to say.

  “Not really…am I missing something?”

  He smiled.

  “Who lives here? This is kind of creepy, us just sitting out here.” She looked around to see if anyone was watching. “I love those cedar shutters by all the windows. They give it so much character.”

  He still didn't say anything.

  “You can tell whoever lives here takes care of it. It looks like they have some land; they could put a small barn over there for some goats. I love goats!”

  He laughed. “No goats!”

  “Do you know who lives here?”

  He shook his head yes.

  “Okay, who? Why are you acting so goofy? We have been sitting here for a while. I don't want someone to come out with a shotgun, telling us to get off their property.”

  “Not going to happen, I live here.”

  I shrugged my shoulders like I was missing the whole point. “So let me get this straight; you brought me to your house to show it to me, but didn't tell me it was yours? Why?”

  He started to talk but then it clicked.

  “Wait, are you testing me? Do you think I am shallow and I will think I’m too good for this?” I started to get mad. What did he think I was? Why would he do that when we were having such a fantastic time?

  Sensing my frustration he spoke up.

  “Come sit by me. Scoot.” He leaned over and unfastened my seat belt, and once I got beside him, he put his arm around my shoulder.

  I wondered if I would ever get used to his touch or if it would always excite me.

  “I realize this is going to sound extremely immature and juvenile, but I needed to see your reaction. I needed to see, without me saying anything, what you thought of it.”

  “But…are you assuming I’m judgmental? I mean, come on, I work for people who have absolutely nothing, and then I work for people who have everything. I just don't get it.”

  “First, I don't really know what you do for your job, so that aside, I just needed to know how you are. This was something that really bothers me. I don't want to dump my dirty laundry on you. I’m a grown, thirty-two-year-old man, but my past does make me who I am.”

  “And?”

  “You don't know? I figured Emma would have said something.”

  “Said what?” Emma did say he had a wealthy family, but who cares. Wyatt didn't act that way; he was a deputy and nothing like his brother. Thank GOD!

  “My family is rich,” he said.

  “So?” Again I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders and didn't give a crap.

  “I don’t want that life. I work for what I have. I don’t…I just want to make sure you understand that I work for my living, and if you had heard and assumed I…”

  “STOP. Just stop. If you think that I would like you, or want to give you the idea I like you—but I don't really—because of something you may or may not have, then you clearly haven't been listening to me the entire night. I know you don't know everything about me, simply because if you did, you would probably be questioning a lot… We all have things we aren't proud of. WE all can be judged by people.”

  I paused. “You served my father an eviction notice at his trailer that was barely standing…”

  He didn't respond. Instead he pulled me close and then kissed me. When he pulled away, he had a look in his eyes that was enduring.

  “One day, you’ll get it all, and why I am so…worried…scared even…but I don't want to discuss that tonight.”

  I kissed him this time and it didn't end until he drove me home and then we kissed again good night. We devoured each other as if time didn't exist.

  I guess we both had things we were worried about, but we were even more scared to lose what we had finally found.

  Too bad we couldn't warn our hearts.

  14

  BREIGH

  Work had been busier than ever, and I couldn't have been blessed with it at a better time. I had gone from one house to another, or meeting-to-meeting in the office. My boss, Frank, had been out and I had been doing a lot of the behind the scenes that he normally did. Lucky for me, I knew what the job was inside and out. I could do both with my eyes closed.

  Frank had been sick, from what I didn't know. All I got was a call from
him asking me to “Hold down the fort” and he hung up. His behavior was completely out of his character and had me scratching my head.

  I had things finalized and ready to be witnessed for our clients for over a month. I was moving right along and loved being my own boss.

  I needed to stay busy and keep my mind off Wyatt. He was getting too close for comfort, and I still wasn’t done debating on what to do. I knew I was falling for him. I knew he was exactly what he said he was. He was exactly what I had wanted, but I just wasn't sure I was ready to let him in. I wanted to so badly, but I was scared. Truthfully, I had already let him in, I had already let emotions lead my brain, something I had sworn I would never let happen again.

  “How do I let myself love him when every single person I have loved has hurt me in some way or fashion, except for you, of course”.

  “Love has hurt too, sweetie. Your mother would have been able to teach that. Probably better than I did.”

  “Not true. You were an amazing mother/grammy.”

  “You have to let love in. This guy is really smitten with you, and you are going to pass it up because of your father? Because he couldn't deal with his life and what he was dealt? Yes, you had boys hurt you. But in all fairness, you hurt them too, didn't you, pumpkin?”

  “Not Alan. Man, did I love him. I wanted to marry him. I thought anyway.”

  “You have to go through the bad to find the good. If you don’t, you won't appreciate it.”

  “What if Wyatt is just another guy I have to get over? What if he hurts me?”

  “What if? What if he doesn’t?”

  “Unfortunately the older you get, the harder it gets to meet someone who you can start a life with. He has probably been hurt. What if he doesn't want to take the gamble on you? How would you feel then?”

  “I don’t know. I didn't think of it that way.”

  “It is a risk on both ends, but that is what love is. It is a risk, it is a sacrifice, and it is scary. You just have to decide if it is worth taking it. There has to be a reason. He either is a reason for you to take that gamble, to let yourself fall in love and live happily ever after, or you can put the brakes on.”

  I sat listening, not forming a response that was going to be worth a crap. And Grammy knew that.

  The loud ringer on the office phone broke my thoughts and had me jumping out of my skin.

  “Anderson Law Firm,” I muttered with a shaky voice.

  Now I had to make a huge decision and do it without losing Wyatt, or having him walk away from me. Granted, he wasn't giving me an ultimatum but the internal struggle was tearing me up.

  I had to decide if he was my reason to take a chance.

  I already knew the answer though…

  WYATT

  In the state of Texas, most knew that if they weren't able to take care of their baby they could take them to any fire station and drop them off, no questions asked. Others either weren't aware, or didn't care enough to make sure they were taken to safety. I hated to be so negative about it, but after working in this field, it turned you that way. You started to look at the world differently. I had hoped that if the baby’s father weren't able to take care of him, he would end up at one of the surrounding fire stations to have a hope at life.

  Weeks had gone by and I hadn't heard from the nurse at the hospital, and I hadn't been able to locate the father. I had left my information and called several times to try to keep in the loop. It had been pretty much a closed case, listening to what had happened and not able to press him more. The autopsy results had come back that the girlfriend really did lose her life, after giving childbirth, just as the father had said. I hated feeling helpless and the intuition I had that something still didn’t seem right.

  Needless to say, when today one of the calls I had to take was a baby who had been dropped at a fire station, my heart skipped a beat. I was scared but at the same time relieved that just maybe it was him, and this would turn out in a positive way.

  My friend, Charles, rode with me, a fellow deputy. He had known I had taken the other case so personally and felt bad.

  “You can’t try to solve every case you come across. Some are just not going to be solved. And some are going to be solved in a way you wish they weren’t. Trust me, I watched my dad go through this my entire life. He took every case personally. It will really wear on you.”

  “How can you not take it personal when it is a baby? And infant! A living creature who hasn’t even started their life yet, and is already hitting roadblocks and getting an unfair shake.”

  “It is just the way it is. Our job stops at a certain point.”

  We arrived at Fire Station 13. I made eye contact with the fireman immediately and he looked hopeful.

  Good.

  As I walked up I asked immediately boy or girl? Estimated age, etc. It was a little boy, and he was a couple months old. A note was left with the baby, with nothing on it but a simple:

  I will always love you.

  Your Father

  The firefighter handed the baby over to me, as Charles and he observed my actions. I bounced the baby a little as he began to fuss. “It’s okay, little guy.” The blue blanket the baby was wrapped in needed a good wash, but at least he was warm.

  “Someone a dad?” the firefighter asked.

  “NO! Long story, but I am just glad this turned out in a good way and he is safe.”

  “Do you want to take him to Texas South or…”

  “We can,” I answered, and Charles glared at me.

  “Now we are babysitting?” He smirked.

  I smiled holding the baby.

  The fireman shook Charles hand and then mine before walking to get me a car seat for the squad car.

  “Is it the same baby from before?” Charles asked after we buckled in our seats.

  “I’d be willing to bet my life on it.”

  BREIGH

  Every two weeks I took my grammy to the grocery store and we went for lunch or a quick bite to eat. She was more than capable of doing the store by herself, but I had always loved to go with her. She would never tell me I couldn't take her now anyhow.

  Her main purchase was always her endive and fresh onion to make her endive salad that was to die for. She was the only one that could make it, although I would be lying if I said I hadn't tried.

  I had never come close.

  “Have you spoken with your father?”

  “He had called me over to his house and I assumed it was the same old story, that he was going to see if he could ‘borrow’ money from me, but instead he was in the kitchen cooking. It looked like he was sober, and he had cleaned the house.” Granted his small trailer home wasn't anything that was a challenge to keep up. Except for him.

  “He stopped by the house and of course I assumed it was the same thing. I was ready to chase him out of the house with a broom, but instead he tried to convince me he was turning over a new leaf. Wanted to try to be the father you deserved all along. He is attending AA meetings over at the town hall every other day, and even has a sponsor.”

  “Yeah, I hate to think negatively, but I feel like something is up.” Grammy stopped and met my eyes. “My exact thought, baby girl. Keep an eye on things. I feel like he is up to something.”

  “Well, in all fairness, you always feel like he is up to something.” I smirked because she has always loathed my father.

  “And I’m normally correct now, aren't I?”

  “Yes, you are.”

  Every time.

  One hour later, we sat at the same booth at the Texas Pecan Restaurant, sipping coffee after an early lunch. I had been drinking coffee with my Grammy since I was twelve, taking it exactly like she had. Grammy was filling me in on the drama happening on the church board, whispering softly because it was supposed to be discreet. Most of it I had already known, and was just enjoying watching her talk. It was funny how the older you got the time seemed to slip by. You appreciated things that when you were younger didn't seem to matt
er as much. Maybe it was because my age of twenty-eight and the importance I felt knowing what I didn't have. Lately it seemed emphasized.

  “Howdy, ladies.”

  I look up with a little giggle still in my throat.

  “Hello, Kevin. How nice to see you,” My Grammy answered and he bent down to get to her level to give her soft hand a shake. She hated being treated like she was fragile, but I had told her several times I thought it was out of respect the way people did this.

  I smiled and greeted him as well. I offered for him to join us, but he said he was just grabbing a quick lunch, had an errand to run, and was off back to work.

  “I’m happy to see that neither of you are sore with me.”

  “Heavens why?” Grammy asked.

  “Well, a couple months ago, another eviction notice had to be served to your father, and I had to have one of my deputies serve the notice. I was undermanned. I hated having to have someone else go do it. I just feel bad a lot of times because I grew up with Greg.”

  We all smiled knowing Kevin was only speaking the truth. He was a country boy through and through, and he wouldn't know a lie if it came up and hit him in the forehead.

  “Kevin, we knew it was coming. He has been the same my entire life.” I motioned to my Grammy and me. “But why would we be upset with you?”

  He took a deep breath. “Just for letting someone else do it. I know it is embarrassing for you, Breigh”

  “I appreciate you letting us know,” Grammy said sweetly. “For the record, as you well know, we aren't blind to Greg’s actions. I have been putting up with his silliness for over thirty years. And so has Breigh.”

  “Understood. I just have a feeling he is up to something. He was at Ben’s Diner, and I overheard a conversation between him and Charles. They were discussing Galloway.”