The Complete Hush, Hush Saga

by Becca Fitzpatrick

  “This? I don’t even know what this is! I can’t move on. I want to know what happened to me! Do you know who kidnapped me? Do you know where they took me and why?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “How dare you,” I said, not bothering to swallow away the choked-up quality of my voice. “How dare you stand here and make light of what I’ve been through.”

  “If you find out who took you, is it going to help? Will it be the closure you need to pick yourself up and start living again? No,” he answered for me.

  “Yes, it will.” What Jev didn’t understand was that anything was better than nothing. Half-full was better than empty. Ignorance was the lowest form of humiliation and suffering.

  He let go of a troubled sigh, raking his fingers through his hair. “We knew each other,” he relented. “We met five months ago, and I was bad news from the moment you laid eyes on me. I used you and hurt you. Fortunately, you had the good sense to kick me out of your life before I could come back for round two. The last time we spoke, you swore that if you ever saw me again, you’d do your best to kill me. Maybe you meant it, maybe not. Either way, there was a lot of strong emotion behind it. Is that what you were looking for?” he finished.

  I blinked. I couldn’t imagine myself making such a malicious threat. The closest I’d ever come to hating someone was Marcie Millar, and even then, I’d never fantasized about her death. I was human, but I wasn’t heartless. “Why would I say that? What did you do that was so horrible?”

  “I tried to kill you.”

  I met his eyes sharply. The line of his mouth, grim but steady, told me he wasn’t in the slightest way joking.

  “You wanted the truth,” he said. “Deal with it, Angel.”

  “Deal with it? It doesn’t make any sense. Why did you want to kill me?”

  “For fun, because I was bored, does it matter? I tried to kill you.”

  No. Something wasn’t right. “If you wanted to kill me back then, why did you help me tonight?”

  “You’re missing the point. I could have ended your life. Do yourself a favor and run as far and as fast from me as you can.” He turned away with a dismissive gesture, signaling for me to walk in the opposite direction. This was the last we’d see of each other.

  “You’re a liar.”

  He turned around, his black eyes snapping. “I’m also a thief, a gambler, a cheat, and a murderer. But this happens to be one of the rare times when I’m telling the truth. Go home. Consider yourself lucky. You’ve got a chance to start fresh. Not everyone can say the same.”

  I’d wanted the truth, but I was more confused than ever. How had I, a straitlaced, straight-A student, ever crossed paths with him? What could we possibly have had in common? He was abominable … and the most alluring, tortured soul I’d ever met. Even now, I could feel a war brewing inside me. He was nothing like me, quick and caustic and dangerous. Maybe even a little scary. But from the moment he’d stepped out of the Tahoe tonight, my heart hadn’t been able to find a steady rhythm. In his presence, every last nerve ending in my body felt wired with electricity.

  “One last thing,” he said. “Stop looking for me.”

  “I’m not looking for you.” I scoffed.

  He touched his index finger to my forehead, my skin absurdly warming under his touch. It didn’t escape me that he couldn’t seem to stop finding reasons to touch me. Nor did I miss that I didn’t want him to stop. “Under all the layers, a part of you remembers. It’s that part that came looking for me tonight. It’s that part that’s going to get you killed, if you’re not careful.”

  We stood face-to-face, both of us breathing hard. The sirens were so close now.

  “What am I supposed to tell the police?” I said.

  “You’re not going to talk to the police.”

  “Oh, really? Funny, because I plan on telling them exactly how you rammed that tire iron into Gabe’s back. Unless you answer my questions.”

  He gave an ironic snort. “Blackmail? You’ve changed, Angel.”

  Another strategic stab to my blind side, making me feel even more unsure and self-conscious. I would have squeezed my memory, trying to place him one last time, but I knew it was wrung dry. Since I couldn’t rely on my memory, I’d just have to cast my nets elsewhere and hope for the best.

  I said, “If you know me as well as you claim to, you know I’m not going to stop looking for whoever it was who kidnapped me until I either find them, or hit rock bottom.”

  “And let me tell you where rock bottom will be,” he returned with a gravelly edge. “Your grave. A shallow backwoods grave where no one will find you. No one will come to your gravesite and mourn for you. As far as humanity is concerned, you’ll vanish off the grid. It will wear on your mom. That constant menacing sense of the unknown. It will peck away at her, driving her closer to the edge until it shoves her over. And instead of being buried in some green-lawned cemetery beside you, where loved ones can visit you until the end of time, she’ll be alone. And so will you. For eternity.”

  I stood taller, determined to show him I wasn’t going to be scared off that easily, but I felt a queasy little flutter of premonition in my belly. “Tell me, or I’ll rat you out to the cops, that’s a promise. I want to know where I’ve been. And I want to know who took me.”

  He dragged a hand down his mouth, laughing to himself. It was a tense, tired sound.

  “Who kidnapped me?” I snapped, running out of patience. I wasn’t moving from this spot until he confessed what he knew. I suddenly resented him for saving my life earlier. I wanted to view him with nothing short of hot contempt and hatred. I’d point him out to the police without a moment’s hesitation if he refused to tell me what he knew.

  He raised those impenetrable eyes to mine, his mouth crooking down on one side. Not a frown. Something infinitely more bewildering and frightening.

  “You’re not supposed to be in this anymore. Even I can’t keep you safe.”

  Then he walked away, having said all he was going to, but I couldn’t accept it. This was my one chance to make sense of the part of my life that was missing.

  I stomped after him and grabbed the back of his shirt so hard it tore. I didn’t care. I had bigger things to worry about. I said, “What am I not supposed to be involved in anymore?”

  Only the words didn’t come out right. They were sucked away from me at the exact same time that a hook seemed to latch behind my stomach and yank me inside out. I felt myself being hurled through the air, and every muscle in my body tensed, bracing for the unknown.

  The last thing I remembered was the roar of air past my ears and the world crashing to black.

  CHAPTER

  11

  WHEN I OPENED MY EYES, I WASN’T ON THE street anymore. The Tahoe, the cornfields, the starry night—it was all gone. I stood inside a concrete building that smelled of sawdust and something slightly metallic, like rust. I was shivering, but not from cold.

  I’d grabbed Jev’s shirt. I’d heard fabric ripping. I might have touched his back. And now … I was in what appeared to be a vacant warehouse.

  Ahead, I saw two figures. Jev and Hank Millar. Relieved that I wasn’t in this place alone, I strode toward them, hoping they could tell me where I was, and how I’d gotten here.

  “Jev!” I called out.

  Neither one so much as looked in my direction, but surely they’d heard me. In this vast space, voices carried.

  I was about to open my mouth a second time, when I came to a startled halt. Behind them, the evenly spaced bars of a cage peeked out from under a canvas. In a great wave, it all came back to me. The cage. The girl with icy-black hair. The high school bathroom. When I’d blacked out momentarily. My palms tingled with sweat. It could mean only one thing. I was hallucinating.

  Again.

  “You brought me here to show me this?” Jev told Hank with quiet disgust. “Do you understand the risk I take every time we meet? Don’t call me here to chat. Don’t call me here for a sho
ulder to cry on. Don’t ever call me here to show off your latest conquest.”

  “Patience, boy. I showed you the archangel because I need your help. Obviously we both have questions.” He looked meaningfully at the cage. “Well, she has answers.”

  “My curiosity for that life died a long time ago.”

  “Whether you want it or not, this life is still yours. I’ve tried everything to persuade her to talk, but she’s cagey, pardon the pun.” He smiled mildly. “Get her to tell me what I need to know, and I’ll turn her over to you. I doubt I need to remind you the trouble the archangels have caused for you. If there were a way to seek revenge … well, surely I don’t need to say more.”

  “How have you managed to keep her caged?” Jev asked coolly.

  Hank’s mouth twisted with amusement. “Sawed off her wings. Just because I can’t see them doesn’t mean I don’t have a pretty good idea where they are. You put the idea in my head. Before you, I never would have imagined a Nephil could un-wing an angel.”

  Something dark stirred in Jev’s eyes. “An ordinary saw couldn’t cut through her wings.”

  “I didn’t use an ordinary saw.”

  “Whatever you’re messed up in, Hank, I’d advise you to get out. Fast.”

  “If you knew what I was messed up in, you’d beg me to let you in on it. The archangels’ empire won’t last forever. There are powers out there that surpass even theirs. Powers waiting to be harnessed, if you know where to look,” he said cryptically.

  With a disgusted gesture, Jev turned to go.

  “Our agreement, boy,” Hank called after him.

  “This wasn’t part of it.”

  “Perhaps we can come to a new arrangement, then. Rumor has it you haven’t forced a Nephil to swear fealty. Cheshvan is only weeks away… .” He let the sentence hang.

  Jev stopped. “You’d offer me one of your own men?”

  “For the greater good, yes.” Hank spread his hands, chuckling softly. “You’d have your pick. Am I making this offer too good to refuse yet?”

  “I wonder what your men would think if they knew you were selling them off to the highest bidder.”

  “Swallow your pride. Pushing my buttons won’t settle the score. Let me tell you why I’ve made it as far as I have in this life. I don’t take things personally. You shouldn’t either. Don’t let this be about you and me, and past differences. We both have something to gain. Help me, and I’ll help you. It’s as simple as that.”

  He paused, giving Jev time to think.

  “Last time you walked away from an offer of mine, it ended disastrously,” Hank added with a certain curl of his lips.

  “I’m done making deals with you,” Jev answered in measured tones. “But I’ll give you some advice. Let her go. The archangels are going to notice she’s missing. Kidnapping might be your strong suit, but this time you’re pushing your luck. We both know how this is going to end. The archangels don’t lose.”

  “Ah, but they do,” Hank corrected. “They lost when your kind fell. They lost again when you created the Nephilim race. They can lose again, and they will. All the more reason you should act now. We have one of their own, giving us the upper hand. Together, you and I can turn the tables. Together, boy. But we must act now.”

  I sat against the wall and hugged my knees to my chest. I let my head tip back until it rested on concrete. Deep breaths. I’d gotten myself out of a hallucination before, and I could do it again. Wiping away the sweat beading my forehead, I concentrated on what I’d been doing before the hallucination started. Go back to Jev—the real Jev. Open a door in your mind. Walk through it.

  “I know about the necklace.”

  At Hank’s words, my eyes flew open. I looked between the two men standing in front of me, ultimately focusing on Hank. He knew about the necklace? The one Marcie was looking for? Was there any way the two necklaces were one and the same?

  No, they’re not, I reasoned. Nothing in this hallucination is valid. You’re creating every detail of this scene with your subconscious. Focus instead on creating an exit.

  Jev raised his eyebrows in inquiry.

  “I’d rather not reveal my source,” Hank replied dryly. “Obviously all I need now is an actual necklace. You’re smart enough to know this is where you come in. Help me find an archangel’s necklace. Any one will do.”

  “Try your source,” Jev said simply, but with a trace of derision.

  Hank’s mouth compressed into a severe line. “Two Nephilim. Your choice, of course,” he bargained. “You could alternate between them—”

  Jev waved him off. “I don’t have my archangel’s necklace anymore, if that’s where you’re going. The archangels confiscated it when I fell.”

  “That’s not what my source tells me.”

  “Your source lied,” he said blandly.

  “A second source confirms seeing you wearing it as recently as this past summer.”

  A moment ticked by before Jev wagged his head at the floor. He tipped his head back and laughed, almost disbelievingly. “You didn’t.” His laughter died abruptly. “Tell me you didn’t drag your daughter into the middle of this.”

  “She saw a silver chain around your neck. This past June.”

  Jev’s eyes sized up Hank. “How much does she know?”

  “About me? She’s learning. I don’t like it, but my back’s against the wall. Help me, and I won’t use her again.”

  “You’re assuming I care about your daughter.”

  “You care about one of them,” Hank said with a sardonic twist of his lips. “Or used to.”

  A muscle in Jev’s jaw twitched, and Hank laughed. “After all this time, you’re still stoking the fire. A pity she doesn’t know you exist. Speaking of my other daughter, I also heard she was seen wearing your necklace in June. She has it, doesn’t she,” he stated rather than inquired.

  Jev returned Hank’s even stare. “She doesn’t have it.”

  “It would have been a genius plan,” Hank said, not sounding in the least like he believed Jev. “It’s not like I can torture its whereabouts out of her—she doesn’t know anything.” He laughed, but the sound didn’t ring true. “Now that would be ironic. The one piece of information I need is buried deep in a mind I effectively erased.”

  “A shame.”

  With a flourish, Hank yanked the canvas off the cage. He kicked the metal box into the light, the base scraping over the floor. The girl’s hair was tangled across her face, her eyes ringed in black and darting wildly around the warehouse, as though trying to memorize every detail of her prison before the canvas blinded her again.

  “Well?” Hank asked the girl. “What do you think, my pet? Do you think we can find you an archangel’s necklace in time?”

  She turned toward Jev, and there was no mistaking the recognition widening her eyes. Her hands squeezed the bars of the cage so tightly her skin turned translucent. She snarled a word that sounded like “traitor.” She glared between Hank and Jev, then her mouth snapped open with a piercing, howling scream.

  The force of the scream hurled me backward. My body smashed through the walls of the warehouse. I flew through darkness, tumbling over and over. My stomach roiled, a great wave of nausea crashing over me.

  And then I was sprawled facedown on the shoulder of the road, my hands curling into the gravel. I scrambled into a sitting position. The air was thick with the smell of cornfields. Night insects droned all around. Everything was exactly as it had been.

  I didn’t know how long I’d been out. Ten minutes? Half an hour? My skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, and this time my shivers were from the cold.

  “Jev?” I called out hoarsely.

  But he was gone.

  CHAPTER

  12

  FOLLOWING JEV’S INSTRUCTIONS, I WALKED TO Whitetail Lodge. From the reception desk, I called a taxi. Even if I hadn’t known my mom was at dinner, I might not have called her. I wasn’t in any condition to talk. My head was filled with too muc
h noise. Thoughts whizzed past, but I made no effort to pin them down. I felt myself shutting down, too overwhelmed to sort through everything that had happened tonight.

  At the farmhouse, I climbed the stairs to my bedroom. I stripped down. I stretched a nightshirt over my head. I curled into a fetal position under my blankets and fell asleep.

  I was snapped awake by the sound of shoes moving at a brisk clip outside my door. I must have been dreaming of Jev, because my first foggy thought was, It’s him, and I clutched the sheet to my chin, bracing myself for his entrance.

  My mom flung the door open so hard it slapped the wall. “She’s here!” she called over her shoulder. “She’s in bed!” She crossed to me, clutching a fist over her heart as though to keep it from leaping out of her chest. “Nora! Why didn’t you tell me where you’d gone? We’ve been driving all over town looking for you!” She was panting, her eyes wild and frantic.

  “I told the hostess to tell you I called Vee for a ride,” I stammered. Thinking back, it had been an irresponsible move. But caught up in the moment, seeing how my mom glowed in Hank’s company, all I could think of was how my presence was an intrusion.

  “I called Vee! She didn’t know what I was talking about.”

  Of course she didn’t. I’d never made it that far. Gabe had come along before I’d had a chance.

  “You can’t do that again,” Mom said. “You can’t ever do that again!”

  Even though I knew it wouldn’t help, I started crying. I hadn’t meant to frighten her or send her chasing randomly after me. It was just that when I saw her with Hank … I’d reacted. And as much as I wanted to believe Gabe was out of my life for good, his implied threat that he wasn’t finished with me was fresh in my thoughts. What had I gotten myself into? I considered how different the night would have turned out if I’d kept quiet and left the 7-Eleven when Gabe had given me the chance.

  No. I’d done the right thing. If I hadn’t stepped in, B.J. might not have survived.