Sweet Little Lies ~ Abbi Glines

by Abbi Glines

Mack shoved a cookie in his mouth and looked angry.

  “Dinner was great,” I told them. “Can I help clean up the kitchen?” Hopefully, my subtle change the subject would lead them away from discussing Mack’s horrendous choice of females.

  “Both of you are running off Beulah. Can’t y’all shut the hell up?” Mack said as he stood up with another cookie in his hand. “Sorry about them. But no. You don’t touch the kitchen. That’s his job. If he needs to destroy it then he can clean it. Or Shay can help him since she didn’t manage to bring me the one thing I asked for.”

  “You’re enjoying those cookies just fine,” she snapped at him.

  He held up both hands as if he was done with her. “Because that’s all we fucking have!”

  Marty sighed then turned his head to me. “It’s a damn circus around here.”

  Today had been a long day. I wanted to talk to Stone and make a decision. But leaving without being rude would be tricky. I didn’t want them to think I was leaving because they were fighting. Because honestly, it was keeping me distracted.

  “You can go. No harm done. I’d leave if I didn’t live here,” Marty said. I started to explain when a loud knock on the door stopped me. It also stopped Mack and Shay’s fighting. Or more like their argument.

  “I’ll get it,” Mack said and stalked from the room.

  “He’s such an ass,” Shay muttered.

  “Mmmmhmmm,” Marty replied but he was grinning like he didn’t believe her. I had to agree with him. She almost seemed to be enjoying the constant word battle with Mack. Like she had not brought the pie on purpose.

  “It’s for Beulah,” Mack called and I stood quickly at the sound of my name.

  “Stone must be looking for you,” Marty said as he stood up too.

  Would he come here looking for me? It seemed unlikely. I folded the napkin I’d had in my lap, then dropped it on my used plate before leaving them there and going toward the door. I figured when he got home and he saw my car out front he’d be curious. But he could have called. My phone was in my purse, completely dead. I’d forgotten to charge it last night. I blame the alcohol—I was drunk.

  When I walked into the entryway and saw him standing there, his eyes locked on me. Pausing, I wondered if I should explain or apologize. Did he even care? Had he tried to call?

  “You’re not answering your phone,” he said sounding angry.

  “We were loud—” Mack had started to make excuses for me but I interrupted.

  “I forgot to charge it last night. It’s dead.”

  Stone held my gaze a moment longer. His expression was unreadable. I couldn’t tell if he was angry, concerned, or annoyed.

  “You weren’t home when I got here. And—”

  “I asked her to have dinner with us. I’m sick of Shay and Marty. Needed to change it up a bit,” Mack explained for me before I could say more. I glanced at Mack and he seemed relaxed. “There’s plenty left if you want to come in. Shay brought some expensive ass shit for dessert from the Elswoods.”

  Stone shifted his focus back to me. “Are you finished?”

  I nodded. But I was nervous. Unsure of his mood. I didn’t say anymore.

  “I’ve already eaten,” he said to Mack. “But thanks for the offer.”

  “Anytime,” Mack replied then turned to look at me. “Glad you could come tonight. You’re always welcome.”

  “Even more welcome if I bring the peanut butter pie,” I said with a smile.

  He chuckled. “Yes. Anyone is welcome if they come with that in hand. Fuck knows Shay isn’t gonna get one.”

  “Goodnight,” Stone said abruptly as he opened the door and then looked at me as if I were supposed to move first. So I did. I thanked Mack again as I left the apartment with Stone following at my heels. The door closed behind him. I kept walking toward the stairs. There was tension and I didn’t understand why. Did he not like Mack and Marty? Was there a problem with me having dinner with them?

  I didn’t ask.

  Instead, I waited. Stone would tell me when he was ready.

  When we reached the top of the stairs, I paused as he stepped around me and unlocked the door. He waved his hand for me to go inside first. I did.

  The lights came on as we walked inside and I scrambled for the right words to say. If I’d just come up here when I got home I would have had time to prepare my thoughts. I couldn’t find the right words because I was nervous and unsure of how to broach the subject of last night.

  “Goodnight,” Stone said simply then headed down the hallway to his bedroom. I stood there speechless as I watched him leave me standing there. He’d come to get me as if we needed to talk. But he was going to bed? Seriously?

  “You came to get me to make me go to bed?” I asked unable to stop myself.

  He stopped walking and stood there a few moments before turning back to me. “No. I came to get you because you’re naïve. Mack is a known womanizer. He’s not like Jasper. He’s a professional at using women.”

  With that explanation, he continued on. Before I could think of something else to say or formulate more questions to ask, he was gone. His door closed firmly behind him.

  And I was left alone. We hadn’t discussed anything. Not about me leaving or how long I should stay here. Nothing.

  FOR THE NEXT WEEK, STONE wasn’t home when I left for work in the morning and when I got home in the evening. Geraldine had even asked about him. Wondering why he hadn’t been by to visit. She’d asked if I had decided on his birthday gift. I hadn’t. I feared my moving out may be the gift he wanted.

  She and I went to visit Heidi three times that week. I had kept busy trying not to worry about Stone’s disappearance and what my possible role was. I laid awake at night listening for him to return. Anxious as to what I would say if he did.

  Seven days after my last interaction with Stone, I pulled into a parking spot in front of the apartments and found Jasper standing there. His hands were tucked in his front pockets. His head was down. His shoulders were slumped slightly as if he were defeated.

  The sight of him made my chest hurt. I didn’t like seeing him like this. With him out of sight, I was able to block out my fear that he would take Heidi from me. That she was technically his sister, not mine. He could be considered the villain in my story.

  Seeing him there, however, made that impossible. He was kind and good. Nothing like his parents. He’d been a victim as much as Heidi had. His parents had lied to everyone. Heidi would never know or understand their actions, but Jasper did. He had to live with that knowledge.

  I turned off my car and got out. His head lifted to meet my gaze. He seemed broken. The gleam of playfulness in his eyes was gone. His easy smile that once made my heart race was no longer there. He seemed older. The easygoing guy I’d fallen in love with was gone.

  I stepped onto the sidewalk and stood there. I was several feet away, waiting for him to explain why he had come. I wondered at the same time if I should have gotten out of the car. Our last confrontation hadn’t gone well and Stone wasn’t here to run interference. Was I strong enough to handle speaking to him alone?

  “I’m not going to pursue finding out the truth about Heidi. You’re right. She had a mother. A family. You’re her family. You’re what she knows and loves. My need to prove the truth will just cause more pain,” his voice sounded sad. Empty.

  “Thank you,” I replied with relief. The weight on my chest lifted. I’d been living with that fear since the moment this all began unraveling with Portia’s lies.

  “I won’t be back. I leave for Manhattan tomorrow. My things are already set up in my place there. I’ll be running things from the main office. Away from this town, Portia, and,” he paused. Closed his eyes tightly and exhaled. “You.”

  That should have stung. But it didn’t. With Jasper here, I always lived with the fear I’d have to face him one day. Or see him with another girl. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel watching him move on with his life. Which was what we both had t
o do. There could never be an us.

  “What about your Savannah office?” I asked because I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea what response to give that wouldn’t hurt us. It was impossible to know what to say that would make this end and we could both walk away.

  “It was a waste of time. I have enough to handle with my father gone. I need to focus on what was already built. Being here was . . . something I wanted once. Portia’s lies and the truth I have to face daily in this town makes it the last place I want to be.”

  He could start over somewhere else. Make a new life. A life I wouldn’t have to witness by accident when I ran into him some day in town. His moving away made it easier for me to let go of the memories. To heal from the lies.

  “You’ll be happy there. This will become the past and you can forget it all,” I finally said.

  A sad smile barely tugged on his lips. “Yeah. Sure.”

  “Thank you for everything, Jasper. For being there when I needed someone. For paying for Heidi’s care. You have been more than I could have asked for.”

  A frown creased his brow. I didn’t know what I’d said that had upset him, or what was causing him to study me with a confused look.

  “I didn’t pay for Heidi’s care. I was going to, but I forgot. With all this shit going on, I never got around to it. I’ll do it today. I want to do it.”

  He was still talking, apologizing. I didn’t hear his words though. They were muffled by the pounding in my head. The knowledge that I knew was there. The truth. And what that meant. I shook my head trying to grasp the reasons behind this. If what I thought were indeed true.

  When I realized he wasn’t talking anymore I focused on him. “You never paid it?” I asked for confirmation.

  “No. But I will, I swear. I won’t leave that on you,” he replied. His expression determined yet apologetic.

  “It’s paid. You don’t need to,” I said the words before I could think about it. Before I could weigh if it was the right decision to share that knowledge with him.

  He tensed. His shoulders straightened. His back went rigid. The hardness in his expression wasn’t directed at me, but the way his eyes changed I knew he was fighting a mixture of emotions. Anger being the first one while a flurry of others danced vividly with every breath he took.

  He stepped past me and started for his car.

  “Goodbye, Jasper,” I said wishing this hadn’t been our last conversation.

  He opened the door to his car and inhaled deeply before swinging his gaze back to look at me. “You’ll need me one day. When that day comes, call me.”

  Then he was gone. His car door closed and he pulled away from the apartments. He left with nothing more than those dark words that I knew he meant as a warning. I stood there for a long time after he was gone. I thought about him, all that we had said, and Stone. It always led back to Stone. The answers seemed to have been there the entire time, yet I had missed it.

  The payment for Heidi’s care had been made by him. I didn’t have to ask him. It made sense. The payment had come moments after I left him there on the street while I had been falling apart. He’d told me that Jasper had sent the payment. He’d even paid it in the Van Allan name. He’d wanted no credit and nothing from me in return.

  Why? That couldn’t have been for Jasper’s sake. Could it? If so, wouldn’t he have just reminded Jasper? Asked Jasper to pay him back? The home Heidi lived in cost a small fortune.

  “Hey!” a male voice called behind me and I turned.

  Mack or Marty was standing at the entrance of the building waving me inside. “Come eat with us. Stone won’t be back for days. When he leaves for the Manhattan offices it’s always a week at least.”

  Manhattan? He was out of town? When had he left? Had he been gone all this time? My emotions were so tangled, I couldn’t face anyone right now. Especially Mack and Marty. I needed to be alone.

  “Thanks, but I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed early,” I told him hoping my smile looked sincere and not like the grimace that reflected the turmoil inside.

  “You gotta eat,” he shot back.

  “I ate with Geraldine. Today’s been a long one.”

  He sighed then nodded. “Okay. Are you coming inside?”

  There was no reason to stand out here waiting for no one. I walked toward him and he opened the door wider, allowing me to pass him to enter the building.

  “The guy. He upset you?”

  I turned to look up at Mack or Marty and saw the look in his eyes. This was Marty. The flirty gleam that was always in Mack’s eyes wasn’t ever present in Marty’s.

  “That was closure,” I told him.

  He studied me a moment, but didn’t ask anything else. He simply nodded and patted my shoulder. “Go enjoy the quiet. Tomorrow will look brighter.”

  I hoped he was right. I didn’t see how that was possible.

  MY EYES FLEW OPEN. THE darkness from outside was still casting the moonlight through my window and across my room. Reaching for my phone, I saw it was only two in the morning. I’d only been asleep for three hours. Sitting up, I looked around to see if something had woken me. I’d been dreaming, but in my dream, there had been a sound. One that made me pause and wake up.

  I was on the top floor of a very secure building. Someone breaking in was incredibly unlikely. And even if an intruder broke into the building, Mack and Marty would have heard and intercepted them on the ground floor. I felt safe here, but I was sure a sound had woken me.

  Footsteps in the hallway wasn’t what I expected to hear next. Jumping out of bed, I hurried to the bedroom door and swung it open without thinking who it might be or if I should be calling for help. I’d always been the one to go charging head first at danger to protect Heidi. It was instinct that drove me.

  None of that mattered because it was Stone who stood in the dark hallway. I was relieved. It was highly unlikely someone had broken in, I just wasn’t expecting him back for a few days according to Marty.

  “You’re home,” I said as our eyes met.

  “Yes,” his reply was deep. As if he’d been sleeping. Which he couldn’t have since he’d just arrived. Or at least I thought he had.

  “I didn’t know you went out of town until today.” Why I said that, I don’t know. He was returning home and here I was pushing him. I feared he’d leave again. I wanted to cover my mouth, and run and hide in the room.

  “I needed to think,” he said still watching me. He was searching for something in my eyes, my expression—I wasn’t sure. I felt almost naked from his intense perusal. Exposed.

  “Did you?” I asked him. My voice was a little to breathless. I realized my heart was pounding. All this from his scrutinizing stare?

  “Did you?” He threw my words back at me.

  “Did I what?” I was confused by the path the conversation had taken.

  He took a step closer to me. “Did you think?”

  Did I think? About leaving? Getting my own place? About the stupidity of too much wine? Yes. I thought about all that. But I didn’t know what he meant. “Did I think about what?”

  “Me.”

  My breathing had become a little labored and erratic. But the tone of his voice when he said that one word made it stop completely. My body tensed. The darkness didn’t mask the uncertainty in his eyes. He was asking even though I could see he was scared of the truth. I’d never seen fear in Stone’s eyes before. Not until this moment. It was almost humbling.

  “Yes.” Saying anything else would have been a lie.

  He swallowed hard, inhaled deeply through his nose and seemed to be internally battling his next move. My hands trembled and I gripped them together in front of me Neither of us spoke. The silence made me uneasy.

  Each breath we took seemed louder and more dramatic than they actually were. I knew the thoughts running through our heads—the facts, lies, and the truths—made this all harder and simple all at once.

  Even though my heart raced, my body tingled, and my
hands seemed incapable of being still, I knew that the one truth wouldn’t let this moment be anything more than it was. Stone loved Jasper as if they were brothers. If by some chance that display of emotion I’d never seen in his eyes or in his actions were what my heart wanted it to be, it wouldn’t matter. Because attraction did not outweigh love.

  That reminder helped me calm down. To get caught up in this moment had been weak and a mistake. I could be hurt again. No, I would be hurt again if I thought there was a chance at more with Stone. A chance to know the man that I had misjudged, misunderstood, and disliked so fiercely.

  Stepping back into the bedroom I reached for the door to close it. I wanted this to end . . . whatever it was.

  “He came here before he left,” Stone said stopping me.

  I just nodded.

  “And he still left. Closed the Savannah office and left,” he said this as if it were important.

  I nodded again. A brief nod. No need for more.

  Stone closed the space between us until I had to tilt my head back to see his face, his eyes. I searched his expression, attempting to understand him. My heart was once again beating as if his nearness shot jolts of electricity through it. Why did Stone have to cause such a reaction in my most important organ?

  “A man that deserved you. That understood what you are and what he had. What he had lost. He wouldn’t leave. Even if it were an impossibility to hold you again. He’d want to protect you. Even if he couldn’t have you. If his having you meant pain to others. Even if his motherfucking chest felt like it might explode from the sight of you. He wouldn’t leave because he wouldn’t be able to. Your security, protection, happiness would be all he could focus on. The only way he could survive.”

  When he said it that way, in those brutally blunt words, I realized he was right. Jasper’s love for me wasn’t what it should have been. Love meant never leaving, never running. It meant you could never be too far away. To be fair, I’d done all three to him. The pain and loss had faded quickly enough. What I’d thought was a shattered soul had only been a bruised heart.

  “We hadn’t known each other that long,” I said in both of our defense. I couldn’t blame Jasper when I’d run first.