When We Fell

by Elena Aitken

  Drew grinned. “You ask him, Auntie Amber.”

  Chapter Seven

  The weather was perfect as Ben cranked up each of the patio umbrellas he’d set out. Thankfully they wouldn’t be needed for rain, but to keep the warm spring sun out of people’s eyes as they enjoyed the new space. Annie had put out small tabletop lanterns on each of the tables, lights were strung around the space, and the planters looked amazing.

  He lit a fire in the stone fireplace and instructed one of the busboys to keep it stoked throughout the evening. Everything was perfect. Ben beamed with pride as he looked around the space. Just as with everything else with the Log and Jam, he believed fully that it would be a success. There’d only been one time, years earlier, when he’d doubted himself when it came to opening the pub. He’d taken out loans, borrowed from his parents, and pretty much put everything he had on the line to open the Log and Jam. He’d done his research and he knew it would be successful. Not just in his heart, but in his head, too. And the old log building where Bud’s, the long since defunct bar that had once been Timber Creek’s only watering hole, had been perfect. It had taken a lot of elbow grease, and a whole lot of renovations, but it had been worth it. And the community was more than ready for a new hangout place. It had been years earlier that Bud’s had closed down and besides a few restaurants and a cafe, there was nowhere really for people to go and have a beer after work with friends.

  Not unless you counted the End of the Road, and Ben did not. He’d gone to school with Tommy Jenkins, who’d taken over the dive bar at the edge of town about a year before Ben opened his own doors. The End of the Road was known for greasy food, watered-down drinks, and sleazy entertainment. It was not at all the type of place that Ben and his friends wanted to spend their hard-earned cash. But with no other options in town, Tommy ended up getting most of the business.

  Even armed with all of his research and assurances from the townspeople, opening the doors to the Log and Jam had been the most nerve-racking experience of Ben’s life. When he’d almost panicked at the last minute and pulled the plug on the idea, there was one person he’d turned to.

  Eric.

  Their relationship had been strained for years, but one thing had always stayed consistent. Eric was Ben’s older brother, and despite the way Ben had pulled away, he knew he could count on Eric to be there for him when it really mattered.

  “Ben?” He remembered the shock in Eric’s voice when he’d answered the phone. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes. I’m just…” He didn’t know how to ask for what he needed. Ben swallowed hard. “I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing, Eric.”

  There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment before his brother spoke again. “The pub? Mom and Dad told me,” he said. “I think it’s a great idea. Exactly what Timber Creek needs.”

  “You think so?”

  Eric laughed and not for the first time, Ben was struck by how much he missed his brother. “I do,” he said. “Why are you doubting yourself, little brother?”

  “It’s so much money.” Ben shook his head and looked to the sky. “And I’ve borrowed from Mom and Dad. If I don’t…well, it’s just a lot.”

  “Of course it is. But nothing worth having is easy. And you know what they say about being scared.”

  “I didn’t say I was scared.”

  Eric laughed. “Right. Well, if you were scared,” he said, “I’d say that was a good thing.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because when you’re scared or uncomfortable, you’re growing. And you, little brother, are growing.” There was silence on the other end for a moment before Eric added, “I’m proud of you, Ben.”

  “Really?” In that moment, Ben could no longer remember why he’d put so much distance between him and Eric. Whatever it was, it was time to close the gap, and—

  “Really.” Eric interrupted his train of thought. “And I can’t wait to come and have a beer at your bar. Drew and I are going to come visit as soon as you open.”

  And there it was. The familiar pain in his chest. It was a sharp physical reminder of why Ben had pulled away from his relationship with his brother. A woman. But not just any woman. The one he’d been in love with ever since he could remember. It hadn’t been an easy decision, and it wasn’t even something he’d consciously done. His pulling back had happened gradually over the years.

  Which was ironic, because he’d helped them get together all those years ago. When they were in high school, Ben and Drew had been inseparable, along with Cam and Evan, Christy and Mark, and Amber. He’d been too chicken to say anything back then, but he’d been head over heels with Drew for years. A story as old as time, because she had no idea he thought of her that way and when she’d come to him one day, giggling and blushing and asking Ben if he would please see if Eric was interested in her, of course he said yes. Because he would have done anything for her. Even if it meant breaking his own heart.

  Never in a million years did Ben think that Eric would actually go out with her and even if he did, that it would last. But it had.

  Even when Eric moved away to school, they stayed together. But it wasn’t until Eric came home that summer that the rest of them had graduated and asked Drew to marry him that Ben realized what he’d always somehow known—he’d lost Drew forever. And he’d never really had her.

  And then his brother, too, because it just became way too painful to be around Eric. So he’d pulled away.

  The memories rocked through him and, just like they always did, left Ben unsettled as he stood and surveyed his new patio.

  “Hey.” The voice, followed by a slap on his back, jerked Ben all the way out of his thoughts and into the present moment. “This looks amazing, buddy.” Evan stood next to him, his arms crossed as he took in all of Ben’s hard work. “You did good, man.”

  “Thanks.”

  Evan turned and looked at him. “What’s up? You seem off.”

  For a moment, Ben thought about lying and telling Evan a story about being tired or something, but there was no point. His best friend knew him better than anyone. “I was just thinking of Eric and how he’d encouraged me with the Log and Jam, even though I’d been nothing but an ass to him.”

  “You weren’t an…” Evan switched gears, also unwilling to lie. “He was your brother and he loved you, ass and all.”

  Ben laughed. “True. I still wonder how I deserved it.” He shook his head, letting the familiar guilt sweep over him. “I never should have—”

  “Stop it.” Evan gripped Ben’s forearm. “Don’t do this, Ben. Just don’t. You can’t go back and change the past, so don’t make yourself crazy.”

  It was true. Ben knew that. Still…

  “Besides, you said yourself,” Evan continued, “you and Eric were in a good place at the end. Right?”

  Also true. They had gotten to a good place before Eric died. In a way, it almost made it harder to lose him, having rekindled their close brotherhood. It was just one more regret.

  “And you know he would be so proud of you and all you’ve done here.”

  Ben took a breath. Evan was right. Eric would have been proud. Hell, he was proud of him. His brother had told him so on more than one occasion. “You’re right.” He slapped his hands together. “I know you’re right and honestly, I don’t know what came over me just then. I was…well, sometimes it just hits a little harder than others.”

  “I get that.” Evan gave him a quick man hug with a slap on the back. “He’d be so proud of everything you’ve done for Austin and Drew, too. You know that, right?”

  Ben definitely knew that. Before he’d died, Eric had made him promise that he’d look after his family. Not that he would’ve needed a promise; nothing could stop Ben from caring for them.

  “You’ve been so amazing for Drew.”

  “Who’s been amazing?” Ben’s heart leapt and at the same time, he felt as if he’d been punched in the gut at the sound of her voice. “Ar
e you talking about me?”

  “You wish,” Evan joked as Drew walked up. “How are you?” He laughed and gave her a quick hug.

  “I’m great and so excited to see—oh, Ben…” Her hand went to her mouth as she took in the patio for the first time.

  Ben couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride rise through him, watching how impressed she was with the transformation he’d pulled off.

  “This is…wow.”

  Her eyes landed on him after scanning the space and in an instant, Ben lost himself in her brown eyes, so full of wonder. The fact that he’d impressed her, even in a small way, made him happy in a way it shouldn’t have. But when it came to Drew, he’d never had any luck ignoring his feelings, and somehow, despite how much he told himself he had to, he didn’t see that changing any time soon.

  “I’m glad you like it,” he said. “And I’m really glad you could come out tonight.”

  “Well, you made it pretty easy on me, organizing Morgan to babysit.” She laughed. “Thanks for that. And I’m sorry if I took her away from you,” she said to Evan. “Where’s Cam?”

  Evan chuckled. “Don’t worry. Morgan’s a great sitter, but she’s not up to the task of a newborn quite yet. I’ll switch out with Cam later so she can pop in.”

  “Well, I’m just glad you’re both here.” Ben grinned. “I reserved you guys a table up front. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll send someone over to take drink orders, and—”

  A flash of blonde hair in the door caught his attention just as Calla stepped out onto the patio. She waved at him, and he waved back.

  “Looks like someone is looking for you.” Evan gave him a nudge in the ribs, no doubt thrilled that Ben was giving even a little bit of attention to another woman. “Why don’t you go say hi. I’ll make sure Drew here gets a drink.”

  Ben turned to Drew.

  “Go,” she said. “We’ll be fine. You’re going to have a lot of people wanting to talk to you tonight and congratulate you on all this.”

  He gave her a quick hug and before he could get pulled off in another direction, Ben went to say hello to Calla and welcome her to the celebration.

  It was a great night and Drew was happy she’d gone out. It hadn’t been that long ago when she would have made some sort of excuse for why she couldn’t join her friends at the Log and Jam, or at a dinner party, or whatever else it was that they were doing. Not that there was a need to make up an excuse considering everyone knew exactly why she was turning down the invitation, and nobody blamed her one bit.

  It had been Amber who’d drug her out of the house on more than one occasion after convincing her that it was okay to go out and live her life and have fun with her friends. Amber had to remind Drew repeatedly that Eric wouldn’t be upset. In fact, he would be happy she was moving on. That’s all he ever wanted for her—for her life to go on.

  And that’s exactly what she was doing.

  On the stage, Timber Heart was playing one of their new songs and everyone was tapping along with the beat. Drew lost herself in the music, until a voice in her ear grabbed her attention.

  “They’re pretty good, aren’t they?” Ben’s dad asked.

  “Mitch.” She turned a little in her chair. “I didn’t see you there. I’m glad you both came.” Drew looked past him at Sylvia at a nearby table, who was watching the band with a small smile on her face.

  Mitch nodded. “It’s good to get out.” He leaned in a little closer. “It’s really good to see her smiling.”

  “It is.” Drew smiled, because the sight of her mother-in-law made her genuinely happy. “And I bet Ben is really pleased to see you both here as well. It means a lot to him, I’m sure.”

  “We’re very proud of him.” Mitch nodded. “He told us about the list Eric left.”

  Drew pressed a hand to her chest and waited for him to continue.

  “I think it’s pretty damn special how Ben plans to carry it out for Austin.” He nodded and Drew pretended not to see the tear that glistened in his eye. “To see him step up with that boy, and you, of course.” Drew nodded. “Well,” Mitch continued. “It’s pretty special. We’re very proud.”

  To keep from crying, Drew opted instead to give her father-in-law a hug. She squeezed him tight. “He’s a good man,” she said into Mitch’s ear. “I’m not sure what I’d do without him.” She pulled away from the hug. “Are you going to help out, too? With the list? Ben said the vandalism was originally your idea.”

  She grinned, but Mitch shook his head. “No, I think this is for the two of them. And, well maybe you, too.”

  “Me?” Drew laughed. “I don’t think so.”

  “You never know,” he said. “You never really can tell how these things will play out.”

  She was pretty sure Mitch was still talking about the list, but there was a strange look on his face. Before she could ask him what it was all about, the band drew her attention and announced their last song, and Mitch excused himself.

  She turned back to watch and after a moment, Drew was lost in the rhythm and once again tapping her feet to the beat. At the front of the table, closest to the stage, Mark, Christy’s husband, sat, fixated on his wife. The smile on his face said it all. He completely adored her and as much as everyone loved Christy, Mark was by far her biggest fan.

  Drew watched him for a moment. They’d always had such an easy love for each other, and as far as she could tell, besides their one major falling out earlier that year, the two of them never fought. Even as far back as high school, they just kind of seamlessly fit.

  Not like Eric and me.

  Drew felt bad as soon as she had the thought because it wasn’t that they didn’t fit. They did. They fit so well. And she’d loved him so completely. But there had been a time, a long time ago, before they even started dating, when she’d been so sure she was supposed to be with someone else. She’d never told anyone about her secret feelings, not even her girlfriends, and then, as kind of a test, she’d asked Ben to ask Eric out for her, and…well…she’d actually really enjoyed hanging out with him and…

  None of that matters now.

  And it didn’t. She focused on Christy and the rest of the song. When the band was done playing, she cheered the loudest before falling into easy conversation with Cam, who was seated next to her and the rest of the group.

  “I think we’re going to have some good times out here this summer, don’t you?” Cam smiled and lifted her sparkling water, making Drew laugh.

  “I would say yes,” she replied. “But with two of you being new moms, somehow I think you’re overestimating your party skills.”

  “Maybe so,” Cam agreed. “But even new moms need a break from time to time.”

  “You mean especially new moms.” Drew took a sip of her wine. “Something that husband of yours must understand pretty well, since the two of you are tag teaming tonight.” Evan had left after a quick toast to Ben and the new patio to give his wife a chance to get out of the house for a few hours. “You guys will need to find a babysitter so you can get out together, too. When do you think Morgan will babysit?”

  Morgan was Cam’s teenage daughter from her first marriage, and although the girl had gone through some hard times in recent months, she’d really come into herself and was thriving in Timber Creek. But looking after a newborn was still a big ask.

  “Morgan loves her little brother and we’ll definitely get her to babysit a bit when Theo is a little older, but…teenagers. She’s always busy doing something. I’m not sure what Ben offered her to babysit for Austin, but she jumped at it. Maybe I shouldn’t underestimate the power of money for a teenager.” Cam laughed and Drew marveled at how light-hearted she was when it came to her daughter and all they’d been through. It wasn’t long ago that it was a very different story. But time changed things. For everyone.

  “I can’t even imagine the teenage years.” She shook her head and her eyes drifted around the busy patio, stopping when she found Ben, chatting with the blonde she’d s
een earlier. “Hey,” she said to Cam. “Do you know who that is?” She tried to point without it being too obvious.

  “That’s Calla.” It was Christy, who’d crouched down between the two of them, who answered her. “She owns Petal Pushers, the flower shop in town. Or at least she does now. It was her dad’s but he wanted to retire and since she was named after a flower, it was a good fit, I guess.” Christy laughed. “I’m kidding. Sort of.”

  Drew shook her head in wonderment. Christy really did know everyone and everything there was to know about Timber Creek. “Do you know her?” She kept watching the woman, but more importantly, Ben, who seemed to be very interested in whatever it was she was saying to him.

  “Not well,” Christy said. “But it looks like Ben does.”

  Drew’s head whipped around to stare at her friend. “What do you mean?”

  “Whoa,” Cam said with a laugh.

  “Are they dating?” Drew ignored Cam. “Is she a good person? Or—”

  “Drew.” Christy raised her hands in defense of Drew’s rapid-fire questions. “I really don’t know anything about it.”

  “Someone is a little bit too interested, if you ask me,” Cam said. “Are you maybe being a little protective over Ben? I mean, he’s a big boy. He can handle himself.”

  Drew was instantly embarrassed. Her face flushed and she lifted her wine glass to cover the blush. Why did she care if Ben was talking to a woman?

  “Drew?” Cam’s voice had lost its teasing edge. “You are okay with Ben dating, right?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” She answered instinctively, but her stomach clenched in a tight knot that told her maybe she wasn’t all that okay with it.

  “I don’t know.” Cam watched her carefully. “You just seem a little…I don’t know.”

  “It’s fine.” Drew forced a smile. “I think I was just caught a little off guard. I mean, we’ve been spending so much time together, and he never mentioned anything about her. So I was just wondering if…well, it doesn’t matter. I’m just being a worrier, I guess.”