People of Mars

by Rita Carla Francesca Monticelli

  “What the fuck are you thinking of?” He was really angry. “Why are you scared of me?” he shouted, pronouncing each word distinctly.

  Anna didn’t know what to say. For a moment the surprised expression of her father appeared to her. She was sticking the paper cutter in his abdomen, their faces one in front of the other; his eyes staring at her. It had been the only time in her life she had touched him. She had previously erased all memory of the moment in which she had assaulted him. She just remembered seizing the paper cutter. Then there was blood on her gloves, whilst he was lying on his back on the floor. But now that image rose from the ranks, springing before her eyes by force.

  She broke out in a cold sweat and started shivering.

  “Anna?” The sound of Hassan’s voice fell on deaf ears. His menacing expression had transformed to one of worry.

  “Rover Two, Station Alpha here, do you read me?” Michelle’s words reached her earphones at an unusually high volume, and it shook her to her senses.

  She pushed him with both hands, making him back off a pace. “You’re a psychopath,” she hissed.

  He let an amused smile escape.

  “Hassan, please, answer.” There was anguish in Michelle’s voice. “I need you.”

  His face changed in a jiffy, clouded. And he hastened to activate the transceiver. “What’s happening? Is Dennis okay?”

  Dennis?

  “No, he had a respiratory crisis …” A sigh was heard through the earphones. “I believed he was about to die.”

  “Michelle, calm down, explain to me what happened.” Hassan tried to sound reassuring and professional. In a brief moment he had returned to being a physician, a role with which Anna had had little to do.

  “I don’t know. I found him seated on the floor. He was struggling to breath; he couldn’t talk to me. I’ve administered him oxygen, in the infirmary. He is there now. He says he feels a weight on his chest. He coughed up blood.”

  “Give him some Xantolyn and continue with the oxygen. We’ll be there as soon as possible.”

  Ten minutes later, they were in the rover travelling towards Station Alpha. They had loaded all the equipment and left.

  “What’s wrong with Dennis?”

  Hassan kept on driving and seemed not to have heard her question. The fact he wasn’t surprised about the sudden illness of the commander didn’t escape Anna. Something was happening which she wasn’t aware of.

  “I’ve asked a question,” she insisted.

  “He’s got cancer.”

  Her blood froze at the news.

  “What kind of cancer?” It was difficult for her to restrain herself from asking what was closer to her heart. She had at least to inquire about the details. “Lung cancer?”

  “Liver. Six months ago, I removed a small tumorous mass, and since then he’s been undergoing chemotherapy. I did the latest check five days ago, and it hadn’t metastasised.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

  But Anna’s mind had stopped at the beginning of his statement. “You operated on Dennis six months ago?” she interrupted him, disbelieving.

  “Exactly.” He said it as if it was obvious, as if it happened every day.

  “Have you informed Houston?” Perhaps that was the right moment to ask.

  Hassan emitted a sarcastic cry. “For a split second I thought you were really worried about Dennis. But instead you’re just afraid of the repercussions on the launch of the Isis 2.”

  She did nothing but make a face and wait.

  “No, we decided to keep it secret for avoiding consequences on the mission. It was his first thought, too.”

  It made sense. If those at Johnson Space Center had known about Dennis’s illness for six months, Isis 2 would be already dead and gone. Public opinion would’ve have been scathing about it. Everybody knew that the colonisers would die on Mars, but not so soon.

  “You haven’t answered my question.”

  It took a moment for Anna to get the sudden change of subject. “Which question?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “You remind me of my father.”

  Her reply puzzled him, but it hushed him just for a few seconds.

  “Your father, you mean the man who scarpered when your mother was expecting you?” Tact wasn’t perhaps one of his virtues, but Anna was sure he did it on purpose. “I didn’t know you were in touch.”

  “We’re not.”

  “And so, I remind you of him. Do we look alike?”

  “Not at all, but it’s the same. You’re all alike.”

  Again that cry.

  “You? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately, Miss Sweden?”

  “I have nothing to do with you all!” she shouted.

  “You’re ridiculous, do you know?” His icy tone could barely conceal his rage. “Instead of coming here to Mars and dumping your frustrations on others, you’d have been better off clarifying things with your father, once for all.”

  ‘I’ve done it,’ she thought; it wasn’t what she said. “I’ve killed him.” Those words exited her mouth as if they had a will of their own. She regretted her statement a split second after pronouncing it, but she also felt relieved. It was the first time she revealed it to anyone. It was the first time she’d admitted it even to herself.

  The rover jerked. It was the only perceivable reaction from Hassan. Or maybe it had been just a stone on the ground. Difficult to say with any certainty.

  “I met him some days before the launch and I stuck a paper cutter into his stomach.”

  She stole a glance at him to gauge the effect of that news. He was motionless, his eyes fixed ahead, as if he was deciding what to do about it.

  Anna felt powerful. For a moment, she savoured again the pleasure she had felt in stabbing her father. Even though the thought of what she had done had tormented her since, she’d never felt guilty. That despicable man had deserved her hatred, and even his own death. She prided herself on having killed him, and she really believed it, for at least five seconds.

  “I’ll remember to stay clear of you, when you’re holding sharp objects.”

  His comment bewildered her. She’d expected a contemptuous reply. She had deluded herself she might be the one to frighten him for once.

  “Why did you do it?”

  “He deserved it.”

  “I mean the triggering reason. You don’t plan to kill someone with a paper cutter.”

  A slight shiver ran along Anna’s back. Hassan’s tone was the same he’d used earlier, when they were in the dry riverbed. He seemed even too much of an expert on the subject. However, he wasn’t so scary now. It was as if he understood.

  “Jealousy, I guess. I’d seen a photograph with his children … dunno, I just lost my head.”

  “And so you thought it better to deprive your siblings of their father as well,” he said, with evident disgust.

  Her siblings. She hadn’t thought about them that way. They were abstract characters in a picture, the children of the worst of men. Nothing more. Only now she realised they were her own siblings.

  “I must admit it, little Anna,” Hassan commented. “You are far worse than I thought. The people at NASA really did have a lot of fun.”

  “What d’you mean …?”

  “What? Didn’t you understand?” He giggled.

  What was he talking about?

  “The government was pressuring them to send humans on Mars as soon as possible. It was unacceptable that already thirty years had passed.” He sighed, creating a pause for effect, surely on purpose. “So they hurried up a little. They chose the best competences, turning a blind eye to certain flaws. Dennis had become a thorny guy at Houston. He was too young to be forced into retirement and they couldn’t surely remove him from the assignment; he was after all a global hero, after his missions on the lunar base. Then there was Robert’s issues with drug and alcohol, Liang’s obsessive manias, your craziness. Michelle was the only one without any problems; sh
e left with us just to follow her husband.” He started tapping the steering wheel to the rhythm of a non-existent music. “In the end you were a bit like the guinea pigs in an experiment. Expendable. If everything went well, you’d be paving the way for the real colonisers, starting from the Isis 2. On the other hand, if you fucked up the mission, as with the Hera, the human loss wouldn’t have been so serious.”

  “How you can say something like that? You’re really a bastard.”

  Hassan raised an eyebrow. He had already retorted to that insult. She was certain he wouldn’t repeat himself. Too easy.

  “They made it clear to me, when Liang opted out and they asked me to take his place. The whole recruiting process was fake. They’d already chosen their guinea pigs. I should’ve been on the Isis 2, if all had gone well with the first mission. I’d been already recruited for the second mission a long time ago.”

  Dazed by that revelation, Anna collapsed in her seat. She had always known she had screwed up her training. She hadn’t even understood how she had passed the psychological tests. The truth was she hadn’t passed them at all. Her issues had been considered of little importance, because they needed a competent exobiologist, who at the same time was expendable. She had wondered why on earth Dennis had proposed her in person to participate in the recruiting. She found it impossible to believe he had done the same with everybody. He must have known as well, but he must have been aware that it would be the only way for him to get to Mars.

  “And, if you knew, why did you accept?”

  He stopped tapping the steering wheel and cast a smart glance at her.

  “Because I was sure there would’ve never been an Isis 2, but I wanted to come to Mars.”

  Her eyes were red as if she’d been crying for hours; she looked upset. When she saw them entering the infirmary, she brightened up. She ignored Anna and rushed to hug Hassan, who reciprocated the gesture with affection.

  “Thank God you’re here.”

  Anna and Robert looked at them, speechless. They hadn’t met since the day before, but in that moment they understood each other with a signal, as they had always done. That reassured her. At least they were still friends. And, now more than ever, she felt she needed at least one friend.

  Dennis was laid on a bed, with an IV in his right arm and the oxygen administration device on his face. And he was awake and alert. He didn’t seem at all disturbed by seeing his wife rushing into another man’s arms.

  Hassan moved away from Michelle and walked closer to him.

  “Commander,” he said, tongue in cheek. “How do you feel?”

  “I’ve had better days.” Dennis cracked a smile, which was soon broken by a coughing fit.

  “Now we shall try to put you back in order, okay?” The physician turned to look at the rest of the crewmates, one by one.

  Robert couldn’t stay still. He kept on moving his arms, now to scratch his cheeks, then to tidy his hair, his gaze fixed on an imprecise point on the opposite wall.

  Michelle appeared exhausted, unstable on her legs. She was ghostly. Tears had started rolling down her face again.

  “Rob, please,” Hassan said. “Take her to the meeting room and make her lie down.”

  “No, I wanna stay,” she protested weakly.

  “Listen to me.” His tone was gentle, persuasive. “Get some rest. You can’t all stay here. Anna will help me.”

  Hearing her name, Anna posed a questioning look to him.

  “I need you to assist me during the pleural drainage.” It wasn’t a request, but anyway she was the only one actually able to do that right now. She was aware of that.

  She emitted a sigh and nodded.

  Ten minutes later, they were alone with Dennis who, out of the three of them, seemed to be in the best mood.

  “I’ve administered a local anaesthetic. You won’t feel a thing.”

  The commander raised a thumb and smiled at Hassan.

  The pleural fluid started going through the cannula and dripping into the sack. The reddish colour confirmed their fears. There was blood in it. The sight of it made Anna flinch, and she tried to look elsewhere. She felt her anguish increase. She swallowed and resolved to concentrate on what she was doing, but her mind wandered. She found herself imaging Dennis’s sensations, as he tried to inhale air into his lungs, but couldn’t. Without realising it, she had started hyperventilating.

  The touch of Hassan’s hand on her arm forced her out of her thoughts. His grave look induced her to regain control.

  After the drainage, the respiratory rhythm and the partial pressure of oxygen in his blood shown by the display improved remarkably. The patient was now calmer.

  Without saying a word, Hassan took a medical scanner and passed it over the commander’s chest, letting an image appear on the main screen of the infirmary.

  “How the fuck is it possible?” he murmured, incredulous.

  Two evident dark masses, with a diameter of a couple of centimetres, were on the right and left lung respectively. A third one was on the cardiac wall. When he extended the analysis to the rest of the body, other masses showed on the liver and the intestines, while most of the lymph nodes turned out to be swollen.

  It was obvious he would never last until the launch of the Isis 2.

  That was the first thought crossing Anna’s mind again. As she turned her gaze to Dennis and saw he was smiling at her, trustful, she couldn’t help but feel shame.

  The increase in aggressiveness in less than a week was something inexplicable. In the room beside the one where Dennis was resting, Hassan was comparing the new scans with the previous ones.

  “Something must have happened,” he commented under his breath. “Here in the station. Perhaps a problem with the building’s shielding. Dennis’s immune system was the most compromised, therefore he would be the first to show the symptoms.”

  “You saying we’ll all get cancer?!” Robert exclaimed a bit too loudly.

  “Rob,” Anna reproached him, signalling with her head toward Michelle. It wasn’t the moment to express such kind of comments, not in front of her.

  “I want you to suspend all activity; tomorrow we’ll check the radiation levels in each room. And I want to see you all.”

  “I see you’re already getting accustomed with your new role of commander,” Robert commented again, but now Anna elbowed him. All he did then was to push her forcefully away.

  “How long before he dies?” Michelle’s quiet, resigned tone brought the silence again.

  Hassan just shook his head.

  Not long.

  “Christ, we’ll all die on this fucking planet!” Robert appeared out of control again.

  “Stop it now,” Anna shouted. She was sick and tired of listening to him.

  “He’s not mad at us,” Hassan stepped in, with sarcasm. “He’s just missing the oxycodone he didn’t succeed in finding in the medicine closet this morning. Am I right, Brother?”

  The other man kicked the wall, making the two women start. Then he went out, without adding another word.

  “I’m going to see him,” Michelle murmured, referring to her husband, and walked to the opposite door.

  “It’ll be a mess, as soon as the guys in Houston know,” Anna commented, after the other woman left the room. “They’ll wonder why you didn’t disclose it.”

  “I’ll claim doctor-patient confidentiality,” Hassan replied, as he resumed looking at the scans. He didn’t appear troubled about it. “Dennis is the only non-irreplaceable crew member. They’ll say we four can go on until the next launch window.”

  The thought that she might have to spend at least another thousand days on Mars worried Anna; especially now that she had entertained the idea of returning to Earth. Most probably, they would send the return spacecraft, but with orders to use it only to send back samples. Station Alpha wouldn’t part with her, if no other exobiologist arrived to take her place.

  “We could always finish off an irreplaceable member.” He was speakin
g again with that icy, inexpressive tone. He turned to look her in the eye. “That way they’ll be forced to send a new crew. Or they’ll have to declare that the mission failed and bring all us back.”

  “Only you could come out with such a petty thing …” As she commented, Anna marvelled as she realised she had actually come to the same terrible conclusion. A surge of hatred against Hassan invaded her. That man, just like her father, always succeeded in letting her darker side emerge, and that disquieted her through and through.

  He sneered, as if he could read her mind.

  Feeling humiliated, Anna opted once more for escape.

  “You can’t be serious,” Michelle complained, devoid of any energy. She was sat beside her husband’s bed in the infirmary. She was holding his hand. Her eyes were swollen. She’d been weeping again and it was now evident she was forcing herself to appear calm in front of him, but she was not succeeding.

  Dennis, instead, was tranquil, as if what was happening to him wasn’t his business anymore. In a sense it was so. There wasn’t anything more to do. Struggling was useless. He was dying. Although Hassan had carefully avoided using the word, its heavy meaning had been more than obvious between the lines of what he had said concerning his health condition. What really grieved him was what he was supposed to expect in the coming days.

  “I won’t get better, you know.”

  Michelle nodded hesitantly. She kept on playing with her wedding ring, making it rotate with her thumb.

  “But I can’t complain,” Dennis continued. “I’ve had an incredible life. And now I’m on Mars … on Mars! I never would have believed it could happen.”

  He paused, to judge his wife’s reaction; she was listening to him, but keeping her eyes down all the time. Perhaps she was doing so to avoid crying again.

  “And I’m living all this with you, the woman I love with all my heart. I couldn’t have desired more.”

  Michelle raised a smile and finally looked at his face again.

  “We still have so much to do here …” she said, but then stopped.