The Adventures of Sir Givret the Short

by Gerald Morris

  That was the situation that Givret found some six months later when he came for a visit. Erec received his friend with delight, and for several minutes they exchanged news. Then Givret asked, "So, hows married life?"

  "It's wonderful!" Erec replied heartily.

  "Good, good," Givret said, but after a moment, he asked, "Is it so wonderful that you've decided to give up adventures and knightly deeds for Enide?"

  Erec stared at Givret. "What? Don't be silly! Why would you ask that?"

  "That's what they're saying in the village," Givret said. "They're calling you, um, Sir Erec the Pussycat."

  "I never said any such thing!" Erec exclaimed. "Enide's the one who visits the village, anyway."

  At that moment, Enide burst into the room. "Givret!" she squealed. "They told me it was you, but I had to come see for myself! I'm so glad to see you! You look wonderful! Do you like my dress? Erec gave it to me yesterday, just as a present. He spoils me so! Are you well? But I can see you are! Did you just now arrive? Has Erec offered you anything to eat? We have some tea cakes with raspberries! Oh, dear, whoever would have thought that today we would get a visit from our very dearest friend? Without you we never would have met! Have you been riding all day? I like riding, too, but I haven't been out in, oh, forever, except for a few shopping trips to the village, just for things that we couldn't do without, and these darling buttons that I saw and just had to have. They'll be perfect on a pink dress, don't you think? If only I had one!"

  Enide stopped to show Givret the buttons, and he managed to say, Tm glad to see you, too, Enide," before she started again.

  "I used to have a pink dress," Enide began, "but honestly, it had red ribbons on it, if you can imagine, and so I gave it away, but if I had—"

  During all this, Erec had been gazing at Enide with suspicion dawning in his eyes. "Enide," he said. "Be quiet for a moment, can't you?"

  Enide stared at Erec. He had never hushed her before.

  "I have to ask you something," Erec said. "They're saying down in the village that I've promised to give up adventures forever for your sake. Do you know why people would think that?"

  Enide clapped her hands to her mouth and giggled. "Oh, if that isn't the silliest thing! All I said was that you would rather be with me than go on adventures, like you said to me that night when you gave me those pearl earrings! It was so romantic! But I only told one person ... no, wait, two—three! Plus the fishwife."

  Erec turned red. "You told the whole village I was giving up being a knight for you? No wonder they're laughing at me!"

  "Laughing at you! Oh, surely not!" Enide gasped.

  "Givret?" said Erec.

  Givret wished he hadn't brought the matter up, but he replied honestly: "Well, they are a bit. Maybe if Enide went back to the village and told people there that they have it wrong—"

  "It's too late for that now," Erec declared angrily. "I have to prove them wrong! Tomorrow morning I'm going questing!"

  [[graphic]]

  Enide looked stricken. "You're leaving me?" she whispered.

  "I say, Erec," Givret began, "maybe you should think about this a day or two before—"

  Enide burst into tears, drowning out the rest of his words. She cried and clutched her hair and said she was very sorry and would do anything to make it better, but she couldn't bear it if Erec went off and left her and so on. "I'll be lost without you!" she wailed.

  "You should have thought of that before you went gossiping about me!" Erec snapped. Enide looked stunned.

  "Well ... can I go with you?" she asked softly.

  Then Erec had an idea. Maybe it wasn't a great idea, but Erec hadn't had as much practice with ideas as Givret. Yes, Enide," he said. You can ride with me, but on one condition: as long as we travel, you cannot speak a single word!"

  Chapter 7

  The Silence of Lady Enide

  When Givret woke the next morning, Erec's servants told him that their master had gone. He had left the castle hours before dawn, accompanied by a silent Lady Enide. Givret set out after them at once, following the servants directions toward the northeast. Before long, he came upon three men in rough clothes huddled around a fire. Givret laid one hand on his sword—there were bandits in those forests—but these men were too busy with their own problems to be threatening. One man winced every time he moved his arm, another held his head in his hands, and the third rubbed a swollen knee. All three were very bruised and battered. Sore Arm saw Givret grasp his sword and said, "Don't waste yer time, sir. We won't hurt ye none."

  "I thought you might be bandits," Givret explained.

  The man rubbed his arm again, then said, "This morning ye'd have been right," he said. "But we're givin' it up. Unhealthy. That's what it is."

  Head-in-Hands groaned and looked up. "'E took me club away and bonked me 'ead with it!" he said.

  "Have you had some trouble?" Givret asked. "Trouble, he calls it!" snorted Sore Arm. "Ay, ye could say that."

  [[graphic]]

  "Me own club! And bonked me in the ead!"

  Givret tried to look sympathetic. "I don't suppose you've met a wandering knight accompanied by a lady have you?"

  Sore Arm said, "Ay, that sounds like the fellow. Who was that?"

  "That," Givret said carefully, "was the great Sir Erec of East Wales, gone out questing. You might tell that to people you meet."

  "Why?" asked Sore Arm.

  "Well, it's just that there's a rumor going about that Sir Erec has given up fighting."

  "I wish that was so!" muttered Sore Arm.

  "And the silent lady with him was his wife, Lady Enide," Givret added.

  "Silent!" grunted Sore Arm. "I wish that was so, too."

  "She wasn't silent?"

  "Not when it mattered," Sore Arm said. "See, the way we work—used to work, I mean—is two of us blocks the road while Clem there sneaks up behind a chap and lays him out with a club. It always works, but this time the lady sees Clem creeping up and shouts, 'Look out!'"

  "What happened then?" Givret asked.

  "'E TOOK ME CLUB AWAY AND BONKED ME OWN 'EAD WITH IT!" shouted Clem.

  "Oh, right," Givret said. "You mentioned that, didn't you? Sorry."

  "After that, he bonks the rest of us a bit," Sore Arm added. Then he frowned, looking very confused. "And when he's finished, the fellow starts yellin' at the lady for speaking, even though she's just saved his life. Tell me, is this Sir Erec barmy?"

  Givret ignored the question. Tossing a few gold coins to the former bandits, he said, "Here. Live on this until you find honest work. You're making the right choice, you know. A bandit never knows when someone will take his club away and, um—"

  "WE KNOW! WE KNOW!" shouted Clem.

  [[graphic]]

  Givret continued following Erec and Enide northeast, generally heading toward Limors. At dusk, Givret came upon four dusty and dented knights trudging down the path on foot. Now, knights never travel without horses—walking in armor is no fun—so Givret stopped and stared.

  "What are you looking at?" growled a knight in red armor. He carried a badly dented helmet under one arm, and one of his eyes was swollen nearly shut. With his other eye, he was gazing longingly at Givret's horse.

  "It looks like a parade," Givret replied. "But your party costumes are all dented."

  All the knights snarled at this, and Red said, 'Why don't you get off that horse, little man, and say that?"

  Givret stayed out of reach. He had never met a recreant knight, but he was pretty sure these knights were that sort. 'No, thank you," he replied. "I may be little, but I'm not stupid. Not even Sir Lancelot would take on four knights at once."

  At that, one of the knights said, "Say, maybe that's it! Maybe it was Sir Lancelot!"

  "Shut up!" snapped Red.

  "I mean, if we were beaten by Sir Lancelot, it wouldn't be so embarrass—"

  "Shut your trap, I said!"

  Givret laughed. "You don't mean it! All four of you were beaten by one
knight? Alone?"

  "He wasn't alone!" said Red. "He had someone with him!"

  Then Givret understood. "No, he wasn't alone, was he? He had a lady with him."

  "Well, the lady helped!" snarled Red. "If she had not called out a warning, we'd have taken him by surprise, and now we'd have ourselves two fine new horses!"

  "Ah! So you meant to steal their horses, so after he'd beaten you, he took your horses, right? That's hilarious!" Givret laughed, but none of the knights joined him. After a moment Givret asked, "Say, did the knight seem annoyed at the lady for warning him?"

  At this, all the knights turned toward Givret, and Red muttered, "Ay, that he did. He got angry with her for saving him, which made no sense at all. How did you know that? Do you know this knight?"

  "I do," replied Givret.

  The knight who had spoken before asked eagerly, "Is it Sir Lancelot?"

  "No," said Givret. "It was Sir Erec of East Wales."

  "What?" gasped Red. "The very one they say has given up fighting so as to hang about his lady's skirts?"

  "That's what the rumor says," Givret agreed. "But it isn't true."

  "No bleeding joke!" grumbled Red, and Givret rode on.

  Givret hadn't caught up with Erec and Enide by nightfall, so he made camp and went to sleep. Before long, though, he was awakened by approaching footsteps. He grabbed his sword, but it was not an attacker who stumbled up to his campfire.

  "Enide!" Givret cried.

  "Oh, Givret! It's you!" Enide gasped with relief. Then she burst into tears.

  Givret let her cry herself out, which took several minutes, then asked, "What are you doing out here alone?"

  "Oh, it was just too awful!" Enide wailed. "I tried not to talk, really I did, as hard as I could, because I love Erec so much, but when those people attacked him, I had to warn him, didn't I? But then he was so angry and I saw that I could never be a good wife. I might as well be miserable with Count Oringle, if it will make dear Erec happy, but oh, I don't want to!"

  Hang on there, Enide," Givret asked. 'Who said anything about Count Oringle?"

  "Oh, we ran into him just as we were making camp this evening—did you know we were back in Limors? Erec had no idea we'd gone this direction!-and the count seemed very friendly but when Erec went to see to our horses, he whispered to me that he has a hundred soldiers just over that hill, and if I don't leave Erec and go to him before morning, he'll send them to kill Erec! So I decided that since I can't make Erec happy anyway I can at least save his life, so I'm going to leave with horrid Count Oringle, and if I'm very, very lucky, maybe I'll die young."

  Givret considered this. "Let me think a moment ... No, there has to be another way. Tell you what, Enide: you go back to Erec, and I'll go see if the wicked count really has any soldiers over that hill."

  "You think he might have been lying? I didn't think of that!"

  Givret smiled reassuringly. "It's possible. I'll just make sure. The important thing is for you to go back to Erec. Ill see you in the morning."

  "But what will you do?"

  Givret smiled again, with more confidence than he felt. "Trust me. Ill think of something."

  A few minutes later, Givret was on the top of a nearby hill, looking down on a military camp large enough for at least a hundred men. "Bother," he said. "Oringle wasn't lying."

  Chapter 8

  The Battle of the Hundred Knights

  Even in the middle of the night, Count Oringle's camp was busy as the army prepared for battle, so it was easy for Givret to stroll into the camp and take a seat by a fire without being noticed. He still didn't have a plan, but he thought something might come to him.

  After a moment, a soldier sat beside him, and together they watched two other soldiers sharpening their swords. "Silly duffers," the first soldier said, pointing at the sword sharpeners. 'What do they need sharp swords for, if we ain't allowed to kill this Sir Erec?"

  "We're not to kill Sir Erec?" Givret asked, surprised.

  "Hadn't you heard?" the soldier asked. "The count's dreadful afraid of some prophecy or other, so he doesn't kill people anymore, just tosses them into his dungeons. We have to take Sir Erec alive, and since it's a hundred to one, we'll have him locked up before breakfast."

  So Oringle still believed the prophecy Givret had invented! A plan began to form in Givret's mind. "If we live that long," he said mournfully. "If only I'd known it was Sir Erec we were against! I'd never have joined up."

  "Eh?" the soldier asked.

  [[graphic]]

  "Haven't you heard about Sir Erec?" Givret asked.

  "Heard what?"

  Givret shook his head. "Never mind. I'm not supposed to say."

  "Say what?" the soldier demanded.

  Givret allowed the soldier to ask twice more, then leaned close and said, "Well, all right, but you have to promise not to tell a soul, you hear? This is in strictest confidence!"

  "On my honor!" promised the soldier.

  Givret lowered his voice."This Sir Erec is no ordinary knight. An enchanter protects him with black magic. No weapon can touch him, and he's got a magic sword that cuts through armor like warm butter. How are we supposed to take a fellow like that alive?"

  The soldier's mouth dropped open. "I don't believe all that," he said at last.

  "Ask anyone," Givret said. "Sir Erec's the one who fought Sir Yoder at that Beautiful Lady contest the count held last year. Maybe you were there?"

  The soldier caught his breath and nodded. "That was Sir Erec?" Then his eyes widened. "And there was an enchanter there!"

  "Mums the word, though," Givret cautioned. 'We don't want to discourage the others."

  The soldier nodded, but a few moments later he stood up and sauntered away. Soon he was whispering to another soldier. Givret smiled and lay down for a few hours sleep.

  By the time Count Oringle mustered his troops at dawn, his hundred knights had mysteriously become seventy-five. A quarter of his army had slipped off during the night, and from their expressions, the rest were wishing that they had thought of it. The count went into a rage, cursing the departed knights, but there was nothing he could do but tell the others to mount up and follow him. In the hubbub of saddling up and forming lines, five more knights disappeared.

  Givret rode along. He planned to work his way to the back and, once the battle began, attack the army from the rear, but no matter how much he slowed down, none of the soldiers behind would pass. Finally, the one just to his rear said, "You're wasting your time. We all want to be at the back. Not that it'll matter, from what I hear."

  "What do you hear?" Givret asked.

  "They say this Sir Erec is like a demon, eight feet tall with tusks like a boars. He sometimes kills ten or fifteen knights before breakfast just to work up an appetite."

  "Is that what they say?" Givret asked, impressed.

  "I figure well all die," the knight muttered, "if were lucky. Better to die than to be turned into a beetle."

  "Better than ... er ... I'm sorry, but you've lost me.

  "That's what that black-robed enchanter of Erec's does. Turns people into dung beetles. I hope I die fighting."

  "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, being a dung beetle," Givret mused. "Once you got used to the smell, of course." He allowed this to sink in, then added, "All the same, I'd rather be a living knight. Maybe once the fighting starts, a fellow could slip off."

  Then the army rode over a hill, and there was Erec, armed and armored and calmly facing his enemies alone.

  "There he is!" shouted Count Oringle. "Now remember, take him alive! Charge!"

  But the one who charged was Erec. The count's soldiers stared at him for a second, then scattered. In the confusion, Givret calmly drew his black cloak from his gear and pulled it on. Lifting his [[graphic]]arms, he called out, "I am Givret the Marvelous, Enchanter of Tara!" The handful of soldiers who remained stared at him, frozen with terror, and Givret added, "BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!"

  That did it. The last knights
screamed and fled, leaving Count Oringle alone. The count looked to his right, then to his left, then gave his horse the spurs and disappeared in a cloud of dust. Only Givret and Erec were left of the Battle of a Hundred Knights.

  "Givret?" Erec said. "What are you doing here?"

  "Oh, I was just passing through, heard about this battle, and came along to lend you a hand."

  "That was thoughtful of you," Erec said. "Who knows—if they hadn't been such cowards, I might have needed some help."

  Then Enide stepped from behind a tree, where she had been hidden. She smiled at Givret, but her smile faded when Erec turned to look at her. "As for you, my lady' he said sternly, "this is now the third time you have disobeyed and spoken to me!"

  "Did you warn him?" Givret asked Enide.

  She nodded. "When you didn't come to our camp this morning, I decided I had to," she explained. "And I'm glad I did."

  "There you go again!" said Erec. "If you loved me, you would be silent!"

  "Erec," Givret said, "I like you, and you must be the bravest knight who ever lived, but sometimes you're also a prize looby. If Enide hadn't warned you, you'd be dead at least twice by now. Are you saying that if she really loved you she'd have let you die?"

  "Never mind, Givret," Enide said miserably. "I'm tired of it, and I can't do it anymore. Maybe I do talk too much—well, all right, I know I do. I'll try to do better, but I won't try to be someone I'm not. Givret, would you take me home?"

  "Home? You mean you're leaving?" asked Erec. He looked suddenly forlorn.

  Givret looked for a moment at the two unhappy lovers, then said, "Look, I don't pretend to know much about romance, but I do know this, Erec. You're going to have to choose whether you want silence or Enide, because you can't have both at once."

  Erec took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "Then I choose Enide."