Making Monster Girls: For Science!

by Eric Vall

  “That’s a lot of information I didn’t need,” A.B. snickered. “But, I’m glad you two lovebirds finally got down and dirty.”

  “It wasn’t dirty,” the cat-girl protested. “We were in the bathtub, we got clean as we did it!”

  “It’s just a saying, Val.” The brain swiveled in his tank. “But, I’m very happy for the two of you… now if we could only find a reanimated she-brain for me, then we’d be one big happy family. We could intertwine brain stems, and bump against each other in the bubbles of this very tank… ah, makes me miss having a body, mainly a pen--”

  “Uhhhm.” I cut him off, cleared my throat, turned, and held my hands behind my back. “Can we please stop talking about this?”

  “Sure, sure,” A.B. muttered. “So, what’s on the agenda for today, Charles? Do you even know what time it is? I’ve been alone all day, circling this damn, bubbling tank like a lobster in a fancy restaurant. I even had the same thoughts of a lobster, if they could have conscious thought. When will I die? Will I be boiled in a pot or simply turn belly up and float to the surface? Is my shell getting redder? Harder? Or is it just my eyes?”

  “Well, for one, no, you’re just as grey as you always were,” I snorted. “You don’t have a shell, I’m not even sure how you’re alive now so, let’s continue to believe that you’re immortal, and finally, no one wants to eat you, probably not even the bear.”

  “Now that’s just an insult,” A.B. scoffed. “I’m sure the bear would scarf me up if you laid me out on a silver platter.”

  “Do you want to be eaten or not?” I snorted. “But to answer your earlier question, today… we’re doing the hardest bit. Valerie and I are going to load up the wagon, she’s going to hide in the back, and then we’ll ride off to Delphine’s. I’ll go inside, make a big scene about signing a contract, seduce her into going upstairs, and you know the rest. Knock her out, use the pulley system to hoist her body up and out the window. Lower her into the wagon, make a big show of leaving, bring her back here, get her into the machine, and repeat the experiment. Then presto-chango, hopefully, we’ll have another monster-girl.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to go inside with you?” Valerie asked. “I could sneak in with my power, no one would know. I’m just scared Delphine will hurt you or something.”

  “I’ll be alright, there’s nothing to worry about,” I assured. “As long as I either use the tranquilizer or a blunt object to get her unconscious, I should be fine.”

  “I wish I could come with you on all of these adventures,” A.B. sighed. “They sound so fun, and I never get to go anywhere.”

  “You could build him an apparatus,” Valerie offered. “Maybe like a case, filled with A.B. solution that you can carry on your back.”

  “Oh, I meant you could just attach some straps to my normal jar and carry me around your neck,” A.B. chuckled. “But that’s an even better idea, why don’t you build that for me, Charles? I’ve never asked you to build me anything before.”

  “That’s a lie.” I smiled, turned, crossed the room, and began to gather the supplies. “You once asked me to build you something like a hamster ball so that you could wander around the lab.”

  “That was one time!” the brain protested.

  “What about the series of liquid-filled tubes all around the room so you could have a ‘tunnel system.’” I grinned, grabbed the large fabric tarp from yesterday, and hung it over my shoulder. “Or the electrical propeller you wanted to be attached to your brain stem in case I built either of those prior things? Did you forget about those too?”

  “That’s three things!” the brain griped. “Practically nothing compared to the things you’ve built for the Duchess!”

  “Edony always paid me, housed me, and put food in my belly,” I chuckled, grabbed another set of newer pulleys, and then a length of woven rope. “When have you done any of those things? I house you, and clean you, and what do I get in return? Nothing.”

  “Nothing?” A.B. cried. “You call constant friendship, witty banter, and hilarious jokes nothing? I see where I stand in your life, Charles, just throw me out, you don’t need me! I’m utterly useless! Just as the Duchess said, a disgusting installment.”

  “Hmmm,” I uttered. “Have you forgotten that I told Edony that ‘the brain is fascinating and I love to study it’?”

  “Ohhhh.” The brain wobbled in the bubbles and nodded. “I guess you’re right, I’m sorry.”

  “Do you have all of your supplies ready?” Valerie chirped.

  The cat-girl stood beside the cell, easily gripped the cell bars, and climbed toward the ceiling. The ash-blonde was eerily silent, and her hands and feet didn’t even make a whisper of sound against the cold metal.

  “When will she wake up?” she asked

  “I’m not sure,” I stated as I loaded a small bag with the supplies I’d need to take in. “She’s still sleeping off her tranquilizer cocktail. Maybe when we get back? Or shortly after? I’ll probably have to dose her again before we place her in the machine, though.”

  “Noooo,” Valerie whined. “Don’t do that again, not only was it super scary for me, but it hurt her.”

  “There’s no other way,” I stated and then lifted a finger into the air before she could reply. “And you’re not going to ride her into the compartment. That was just crazy, and I’m still a little upset about it.”

  “If you’re so upset,” Valerie simpered, crawled down the bars, flipped upside down, and hung there effortlessly. “Why don’t we go back upstairs and do something about it.”

  Warmth flashed across my face, and I ducked my face away as I stuffed more of my supplies into the fabric bag. I didn’t know how many times I’d made love to her the night before. We’d started in the master bathroom and ended up back in my bedroom. By the time we finished, exhausted, and cradled in each other’s arms, the sun was just starting to peek through the curtains in my bedroom.

  “No,” I snickered. “We’re not doing that until we get home and finish the experiment, understand? We have science we have to take care of during the day.”

  “Ooookay,” the cat-girl pouted, unfurled her tucked legs from the bars, flipped once, and landed with her back toward the room. “As long as it happens some time tonight.”

  “It will, I promise.” I shook my head. “We have a lot of things to do, lots of scary, possibly death causing things to do today.”

  “But isn’t that what makes it even more exciting?” the cat-girl cried. “The threat of death gets the adrenaline pumping!”

  “Nope, I do not feel the same,” I tittered. “The last few days have been filled with threats of death, and I never once thought they were exciting.”

  “I did!” Valerie sang, rushed forward, and picked up the bag of supplies. “It was lots and lots of fun! Especially last night, beating the crap out of those two guys! It felt so gooood!”

  “Well, I’m glad that at least one of us got enjoyment out of catching a bear, almost getting killed, and then nearly getting mauled by a wild animal.” I chuckled, glanced toward the silent cell, and then headed for the stairs.

  “She didn’t try to maul you!” The cat-girl threw back her head. “She didn’t even break or bump into anything! She did great!”

  “We’re going to err on the side of caution,” I stated. “I will drug the bear before we put it into compartment A, are we clear, Val?”

  “Yesss,” the cat-girl mumbled. “I understand why you want to do it, but she hasn’t--”

  “Val,” I warned.

  “Fine, fine, fiiiine,” Valerie mumbled, slumped her shoulder, and trudged up the stairs after me.

  “Be safe!” A.B. shouted. “Make good choices, don’t get into trouble, and don’t get killed!”

  I rolled my eyes, exhaled, and headed for the prepared wagon. The horses whinnied excitedly, beat at the gravel with their hooves, and then snorted loudly as they calmed down. Valerie hoisted the heavy bag of supplies, placed it back underneath the seat,
and then pressed her hands to the sides of the cart. The feline-woman lifted herself, stretched both of her legs into the air until the toes pointed at the darkening sky, and then fell forward into the bed of the wagon.

  “I never know how you pull that off.” I shook my head, came around the side of the cart, grabbed a stray blanket, and placed it over her. “I’d probably break my back if I tried.”

  “I’m just really flexible,” the cat-girl shrugged. “I can bend and twist into any shape that I want!”

  “Oh,” I coughed. “I know you can…”

  The cat-girl lifted the hem of the blanket, peeked out at me with flushed cheeks, and then grinned roguishly.

  “You liked it last night, didn’t you, Charles?” the cat-girl purred.

  “I-I… I did,” I smirked, grabbed the side of the driver’s seat, and hauled myself into it. “Are you saying you didn’t?”

  “That’s not true at all!” the feline-woman cried. “I loved it! So much! All-day, all I can think about is your biiig, haaaard member inside of me. I get all gooey inside at the thought of it, my belly turns to frothy soup, and I feel like if I can’t have it, I’ll just keel over and die!”

  “I feel exactly the same,” I grinned. “Now, cover yourself back up, okay? No one can see you, or else.”

  “Why can’t I use my powers, Charles?” Valerie asked. “I become invisible, anyway.”

  “Invisible, yes,” I nodded. “Undetectable, no. If you took a single step around Delphine’s manor, one of her servants or guards would be on you within seconds. Your power is great for spying, standing perfectly still, but moving around and sneaking? No.”

  “Okay, Charles.” The cat-girl grumbled and pulled the blanket back over her head. “I’ll do as you say.”

  “Thank you.” I hummed.

  I gripped the leather reins in my hand, snapped them against the horses’ backs, and then steadied myself as they pulled away. I knew the way to Delphine’s manor, but not well compared to the Duchess’. I’d driven past it on many occasions and sensed its ominous, oppressive aura from outside of the gate. Since she was the second most powerful woman in the city, Delphine had a sizable manor, though not as grand or as beautiful as Edony’s.

  The horses made good time, and soon, the wagon wheels bumped from rough dirt onto the smooth, brick pavers of the street. I pulled slightly on the reins, kept my eyes on the road straight ahead, and ignored the sidelong glances from the aristocrats wandering the streets. I felt their judgment and disdain as their eyes roamed over my features. Their gazes followed after me when I passed by and then continued down the street.

  “How much farther?” Valerie whispered. “It’s getting kind of hot under here.”

  “A little longer,” I breathed. “I can see the manor from here, maybe another five minutes?”

  “Okay, but when we get there, I’m going to take the blanket off, activate my power, and then lay very still in the wagon.” The cat-girl murmured.

  “That’s fine,” I nodded. “As long as you don’t go anywhere or move around too much.”

  I raised my head, leaned it back, and took in the towering four stories of Delphine’s manor. I wouldn’t say it was beautiful, in fact, I found it almost tacky and repulsive compared to Edony’s duchy. The house was packed, built with bricks so bright red that they burned my eyes in the evening sun, and the white of the columns had faded to a smoky yellow. Massive flowering bushes and trees had been placed along the lane, almost a semblance to the Duchess’, but not as breathtaking. The flowers and greenery looked too real, their leaves buttery and smooth like the surface of plastic, almost as if some earthen magic type aristocrat had altered them.

  Servants in mustard yellow velvet suit jackets raced up and down the massive stairs that led to the front door, and a few stopped to stare as the wagon came closer. I held the reins tightly in my hands, took a shaky breath, and then slapped the leather straps against the horses’ backs.

  The beasts took off into a run, and the wagon bounced underneath me as the sight of the manor filled my eyes. Once we reached the outer gate, I pulled the reins back, stood from the driver’s seat, and waved to the manservants. A rough-looking man hurried over, stood inside of the gate, eyed me suspiciously, and then spoke in a gruff voice.

  “What do you want?” the servant asked.

  He looked in his late thirties, but his face was lined with the wrinkles of a much older man. His dark blue eyes were blurry with exhaustion, and when he opened his mouth to bark at me again, I noticed his lips were dry and cracked.

  “Hello?” the man croaked. “What do you want from the mistress of the house?”

  “Yes, hello,” I boomed, plastered on a fake smile, and bowed low to him. “I wish to speak to Delphine Vallantine, I wish to sign a consort contract with her effective immediately.”

  The servant’s face paled, and he glanced warily back at the manor house before turning back to me.

  “Aye, sir,” the footman nodded, folded his hands in front of his body, and cleared his throat before stepping forward. “But sir, I say this as another man who been employed by Ms. Vallantine for most of his life and not as her paid employee… is this something you wish to do? I’ve seen consorts come and go, alive and… dead. The last batch we had through here, two of them were seen by the local doctor with whip lacerations across their backs.”

  My stomach twisted into knots at the thought of such horrors, but I kept the fake smile in place. I’d made the right decision to choose Delphine for the experiment, since she wasn’t as horrible as the Duchess, but she would do for now. Within a few hours, the plump, atrocious woman wouldn’t exist, and a new monster-girl would be in her place.

  “Yes,” I nodded. “Delphine has given me an offer I cannot refuse. So, I’ve thrown off my apprehension and done what is best for me and my career. I can no longer refuse her, but more importantly, I don’t want to. I want to be Delphine’s consort, more than life itself.”

  The manservant’s eyes narrowed on my face. Then he scoffed, cleared his throat, and turned on his heel. The older man gripped the gate with his gloved hands and shoved to the right as the entire panel moved at once. The servant gritted his teeth, grunted and strained against it, but finally managed to open it up enough space for my wagon to pass through. The man clothed in yellow dropped into a low bow but kept his dark blue eyes glued to the gravel at his feet.

  “May the gods have mercy on your soul, then,” the servant whispered under his breath as we passed.

  Sweat beaded on my forehead, and I gulped loudly at his meaning, but I steered the horses toward the front of the marble stairs anyway.

  Once I was through, he closed it and then raced past the cart toward the manor. He huffed loudly as he pumped his arms, and I watched from afar. The manservant climbed the stairs two at a time, and once he reached the door, he threw it open with both hands. In the blink of an eye, he was gone from sight inside the massive building, where I assumed he scurried off to tell Delphine the news.

  My eyes scanned the perimeter around the manor, all of the overgrown bushes and shrubs placed strategically around the base of the foundation. They would do perfectly hiding Delphine’s unconscious body when I lowered it out of one of the windows, but another problem rose to the surface. Would all the servants be wandering around outside when I left? Last night, when Valerie and I went to catch the wild animal, the Duchess’ duchy was alive with staff even as we left at three am.

  There was no way I could be caught, especially during the heat of the moment with Delphine’s seemingly dead body. I’d have to figure something out and fast, but not only that, I didn’t even know the location of Delphine’s bedroom. How was I going to get the wagon over there without the servants noticing?

  I pulled back the reins, tied them off to the driver’s seat, took one glance into the bed of the cart, and then hopped down. Then I grabbed the fabric bag and leaned close to the fabric blanket, where I knew Valerie hid, and whispered.

  �
��I’ll be back,” I muttered. “It shouldn’t take very long, but I’m not entirely sure how long it will be. Wait for me, okay? When it’s time to go, I’ll let out a low whistle, and that’ll be your cue, alright?”

  “Okay, Charles,” Valerie purred, peeked out from underneath the blanket, and blew me a kiss. “Be safe, okay? I love you so, so much.”

  “I love you more, my dear.” I murmured, reached in, and mussed her hair.

  I hoisted the bag out of the wagon, held it tightly to my side, leaned my head back, and gazed over all of the massive windows. I breathed a heavy sigh, squared my shoulders, came around the cart, and hurried up the stairs.

  The same manservant waited for me at the open-door, and he looked visibly winded. His wrinkled cheeks were bright pink, his chest rose and fell quickly, but the most concerning part was the thin layer of ice that dusted his shoulders.

  “Mistress Vallantine will see you in the drawing-room,” he gasped. “If you will, please follow me.”

  “Of course.” I nodded.

  The man clothed in yellow bowed once, cleared his throat as he stood, and then turned on his heel. I followed after him as he led me deeper into the large house, and I took in all of my surroundings. The manservant guided me down a long hallway lined with massive portraits, and each one depicted a short, chubby, gray-haired woman with similar features to Delphine. Each woman wore a dress in mustard yellow, with their hair pulled back and piled into a mass on the top of their heads. All of their poses were the same too, seated in a high-back chair, their faces angled slightly to the right with their left hand raised, and the fingers curled. In the palms of their hands floated large, fist-sized balls of ice, a visual representation of their magical ability. The eyes of each painting followed me as we ventured deeper down the hall toward a single, ominous door.

  I didn’t have to guess that these were Delphine’s ancestors tracing back centuries. They looked exactly like the old, decrepit crone. I snapped my head back toward the manservant as his hand gripped the door handle, and the other knocked on the solid, stained oak.