Coming Back To You

by Lynne, Donya

  “Maybe he’s changed.” Lisa sipped her tea.

  “Yeah, and I’ve got swamp land in Iraq I can sell you.” She wadded up her straw wrapper and tossed it on the table. “That man will never—and I mean never—get over what his ex-fiancée did to him. And I can’t sit around waiting for something that will never happen.” She eyed her engagement ring. “Brad’s good for me. He’s not afraid to put his heart out there and make what we have permanent.” But in the past five months she’d learned that Brad wasn’t the most passionate bedmate, and she’d hinted as much to Lisa in a few of their “girl talks.”

  “Is that enough?” Lisa fixed her with a skeptical stare.

  “It has to be.”

  “It doesn’t have to be, Karma. You can have both, you know. Both the passion and the commitment.”

  Karma shook her head. “In my experience, that’s not how it works. You get one or the other. And what I want is the commitment. Passion is nothing if there’s no certainty it will still be around in a year.”

  “But, Karma, come on. You’ve been dating Brad what? A whole five months? And you’re already engaged? Why the rush? I think you’re taking things too fast. I don’t think Brad’s the guy for you, Karma.”

  Karma shook her head. No way would she let Lisa talk her out of this. “He and I started hanging out in February, almost eight months ago. We were friends before we dated.” They’d made good friends, too. And a good friendship was a solid foundation for a good relationship. “I’m not going back to Mark.”

  Mark was a flight risk. Even if he said he wanted a commitment, he could still flee when the heat turned up too high. She would be stupid to walk down that road again, only to have her heart obliterated the same way it had been a year ago.

  Lisa huffed. “I didn’t say you had to go back to Mark. Just that I don’t think Brad’s the right guy for you. First, there’s Jade. She hates you. How will that work? And then there’s the stuff you told me about…you know…the way he’s just not very imaginative in the bedroom.”

  She wished she’d never told Lisa about that. Then again, who would have thought her words would come back to haunt her?

  “I’ve got this, Lisa. I’ve made my decision.”

  Lisa gave her a resigned nod. “Okay, okay. You’re right. It’s your decision. Just know I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.”

  “I know.”

  As their food arrived, Karma glanced back at the diamond on her finger. Brad was enough. She could make Brad be enough.

  Chapter 17

  After returning to Solar, Karma fumed at her desk while Don and Mark spent the afternoon in his office. Don asked her to make travel arrangements for him and Mark to fly to the East Coast location next Monday then down to the Atlanta office. They would return to Indianapolis on Friday. Tour de Mark. She finalized their itineraries and e-mailed them—and, oh, how efficient, Mark already had a company e-mail.

  Around four o’clock, Mark exited Don’s office and flashed her a wary smile on his way to the conference room. Good, he could tell she was angry. Good for him. He needed to know she wasn’t going to be a pushover and allow him back into her bed.

  Her phone dinged, and she glanced down to see a text from Mark.

  Why are you angry?

  Oh, now he could text her. Where had he been a year ago? Hell, where had he been a month ago to warn her he was returning. Talk about being tardy.

  She refused to look at him, turning away from the conference room.

  Her phone dinged again.

  Please answer me.

  Her heart melted just a little bit at the please, but then she set her jaw and squared her shoulders.

  A member from IT stopped by Don’s office and began dismantling his computer, preparing the space for Mark.

  Finally, she typed out a response. If you want to discuss this with me, schedule a meeting.

  She pulled out the hard copy of last quarter’s presentation and began marking it up.

  “Hi.”

  Karma lifted her gaze to find Mark standing at her counter, and every bone in her body melted. Up close, he was even more stunning. In addition to letting his beard and mustache grow in, his hair was longer. A tuft hung over his forehead and curled inward toward his eye. And his face was even more chiseled than it had been a year ago, as if he’d spent several hours a week in the gym. Probably to look good for all his ladies back in Chicago.

  His grey-green eyes captured hers and held on, forbidding her from looking away.

  She blinked and bit her bottom lip before recovering from the shock to her system his mere proximity created. “What can I do for you?”

  “I thought we might take a minute to get reacquainted…now that we’re going to be working with one another, I mean. Is now a good time?”

  She glanced at the clock then at the open door to Don’s office, where she could hear the sounds of equipment being moved around.

  She wasn’t looking forward to this discussion but might as well get it over with. “Fine. Sure.” She stood and grabbed her notebook.

  She followed him into the conference room.

  He closed the door. His gaze stroked the wall where they’d fucked one another last July. Then he cleared his throat and gestured to one of the chairs.

  “Have a seat.” He sat in his chair.

  Instead of taking the chair beside him—the one he had offered—Karma walked around to the other side of the table and sat across from him. She would make it clear from the get-go that she made her own decisions now and would set the tone for this new dynamic in their relationship. She was no longer the compliant, easily manipulated little girl he had met last year.

  He pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes under a wrinkled brow before glancing toward the window.

  Silence stretched between them, but Karma refused to speak first. Her dad had taught her that he who speaks first loses. So, she crossed her hands one over the other, making sure her left hand and its sparkling diamond rested on top, and waited.

  After several long, quiet seconds, Mark exhaled. “You’re engaged.” His voice fell flat.

  Using that as his opener shouldn’t have surprised her, but it did.

  She raised her chin. “Yes.”

  His head bobbed up and down shallowly, and he looked away again. “Well, congratulations. You’re happy?”

  She squared her shoulders. “Yes. Very.”

  Another nod, a little bigger this time. “I’m…glad to hear it.” His words sounded like he was squeezing them through a strainer.

  More silence. It was unnerving, but Karma forced herself to remain composed. Part of her ego relished that he seemed disappointed she was no longer available. That meant he had thought about her during the last year. Oh well, too little too late.

  Mark blinked and glanced down at his hands. “I, uh…I didn’t expect…” His brow furrowed as if in frustration or maybe confusion.

  This was not the Mark she remembered. That Mark had been full of confidence and bold. He had commanded the room. This Mark seemed…disoriented. Maybe even a bit timid. As if he were a small child facing a room full of strangers on his first day of school.

  “What? You didn’t expect me to be engaged?” She blew out a derisive puff of air. “You probably expected to come back here and find me still pining over you…sitting around like a spinster waiting on you to save me from becoming an old maid.”

  His gaze snapped to hers, and he frowned. “Of course not. I’m glad to see you’re happy, Karma. That’s all I’m—”

  “Are you? Really?” She crossed her arms.

  The scowl on his face said otherwise. It deepened. “Yes, your happiness was all I ever wanted.” The words sounded like he was forcing them out with a chisel and hammer.

  “Which was why you called me every week after you left.” She tapped her finger on her forearm.

  He tilted his head to one side. “Why are you so angry at me? I never lied to you. I told you up front how things
would be. I thought you understood—”

  “Fine. I get it.” She held up her hand. “You were only doing what you said you would. It’s not like you loved me or anything, right?”

  But she knew in her heart that he did, and the way the skin around his eyes ticked and his mouth twitched confirmed she was right. And yet that love hadn’t been enough. He’d abandoned her, anyway. That shit hurt like a kick in the shin. He was saying that she wasn’t worthy of his love. That she wasn’t enough to pull him from the funk of his past.

  “Karma. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

  With a sigh, she leaned back in her chair. “I’ve heard all this before, Mark.” He’d told her repeatedly that he’d never meant to hurt her. “It’s getting old.”

  They stared at each other for a long, silent moment.

  Then he cleared his throat and looked away. “My apologies. I simply thought—”

  “What are you doing here, Mark?” Being near him was becoming painful. Just remaining across the room was an exercise of willpower she wasn’t sure she could sustain much longer. Every part of her wanted to touch every part of him so badly it was excruciating.

  “I thought you’d be happier to see me than this.” He pushed away from the table and sat forward in his chair. “Well, hoped. I’d hoped you would be happier to see me.” He stood and walked to the window, where he sat on the ledge. “I guess I was wrong.”

  She shrugged and forced herself to keep a stoic face. “Well…I suppose it’s a good opportunity for you. Don’s job, I mean.”

  “It is.” He crossed his arms. “But I didn’t intend to upset you when I took it. I was hoping—”

  “What? You were hoping we could go back to the way things were? That I’d fall to my knees and thank my lucky stars that you were back?”

  He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No. I didn’t expect that.” He straightened and squared his shoulders. “But I didn’t expect such animosity, either. I was hoping you and I could work together more peacefully than this.”

  She looked away, suddenly feeling ashamed of her behavior. Maybe she had misread his intentions and he hadn’t come back for her, after all. The hot air fizzled out of her. “I’m sorry. I’m just—”

  He held up one hand. “No. I understand. I deserve everything you want to throw at me.”

  “I was just shocked is all. I wasn’t expecting…” She waved her hand toward him. “This. You. Here.”

  “I know.”

  “You could have at least warned me.”

  “You’re right. I should have. I’m sorry. I misjudged the situation and handled things poorly.”

  Mark was nothing if not a gracious apologizer.

  “So, are we going to be able to work together?” he said.

  Wow. That was a quick about-face. One that shot a dose of reality into Karma’s blood. She didn’t want to lose her job simply because she held a grudge against Mark for doing exactly what he’d said he was going to do last year. Besides, she was in a better place now, right? She had Brad.

  Lisa’s words from lunch came back to haunt her. If you were really over him, you’d be happy to see him.

  She was over him, and she would prove it.

  “I can work with you,” she said, “but I want to make very clear that it’s just work. I’m with someone else now. I need to make sure you understand that. And even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t feel right getting involved with my boss, especially given our past.” In particular, his unwillingness to let go of his past to embrace a future with her.

  “I understand. I wasn’t expecting anything like that from you, anyway.” But his words didn’t match the expression of wistful yearning on his face. “My reasons for returning are strictly professional.”

  Why didn’t she believe him? “I’m glad to hear it.”

  He slowly approached the table and sat back down. “I promise to do what I can to make the transition easy for you.”

  “Same here.”

  “Great.”

  “Good.”

  “I’m glad we got that out of the way then.” He set his palms on the table.

  “Me, too.” She stood, ready to get out of there before she did something she would regret, like rush into his arms and suck off his face.

  “I’ll need your help quite a bit in the coming weeks,” he said, standing and joining her as she walked toward the door.

  He smelled good. Spicy and manly. Just the way she remembered. “Sure. What can I do?” Controlling the way her heart beat harder from just standing so close to him would be a good start.

  His smile damn near did her in. “I’m house hunting and was hoping you could lend a hand by finding properties for me to look at.”

  “Sure, absolutely.”

  “I’ll e-mail you the specifics and my agent’s contact information.” He lifted his arm, and for a moment, she thought he was going to wrap it around the small of her back the way he used to. Then he seemed to think better of it and dropped his hand back to his side as he opened the door.

  “It’s good to see you again, Karma. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

  “Same here.” She hurried away to her desk. When she turned back around, he had already closed the door. She hadn’t even heard the latch click. He had shut the door as silently as a thief slipping away in the night.

  She sat in her chair and stared at the door. He’d said all the right words, but his actions wove a different tale.

  Coming back to Solar was as hard for him as it was for her.

  So then, why had he done it?

  Chapter 18

  Why was God making such a mockery of Mark’s life? Once again, his plans for the future were thwarted, the same way they had been with Carol. He’d come all this way. He’d endured months of hell then ridden what he’d thought was a sign that Karma was coming back to him, only to find that she belonged to another. But he couldn’t jump off the ride now. He’d already bought the one-way ticket.

  He picked up his phone and dialed Rob.

  “Hey, buddy,” Rob said upon answering. “How’s your first day? You engaged, yet?”

  “No, but she is.”

  Silence answered for a split second, then, “Wait…what?”

  “You heard me.” Mark combed his fingers through his hair and paced toward the window. “She’s engaged.”

  Rob groaned. “I told you that you should have called her.”

  “Not now, Rob.” Mark planted his hand on his hip. “I don’t need to hear ‘I told you so’ right now.”

  “Gotcha. I’m sorry.” Rob hesitated. “Now what? What are you gonna do?”

  “Not much I can do. I’m here. I’ve taken the job.”

  “Hey, maybe this is just how it has to play out. Did you consider that?”

  Mark chuffed. “To hell with that. I asked for a sign. I didn’t get it. I was so sure. I was ready to come here and be with her again. Really be with her. I had it all planned out.”

  “Maybe that’s your problem. Stop planning everything out. Didn’t you learn that lesson with Carol?”

  He had planned his entire future with Carol before she’d even said “I do,” only for her to leave him at the altar. The resulting cataclysm of being shackled without a backup plan damn near put him in an alcoholic grave. If not for Rob, he might not have found his way back to the land of the socially functional.

  And now he’d done the same thing with Karma. Before he’d even talked to her, he’d planned their reunion all the way to the point where they had kids.

  “I don’t know any other way to be, Rob,” he said honestly. “I can’t help myself.” Planning his life—and the lives of those around him—to the minute detail was in his hardwiring.

  “Try.” Rob exhaled into the phone. “Jesus, Mark, just relax. Stop living for years down the road. Try living for the moment, for Christ’s sake. Stop trying to dictate your future and everyone else’s. Just be.”

  “Easy for you to say. Y
ou’ve already found your future.” Rob and Holly’s wedding was the week of Thanksgiving.

  Mark thought it was an odd week to get married, but Thanksgiving was Holly’s favorite holiday. She said Thanksgiving was all about family, and what better way to commemorate family than by starting her own the same week. Rob liked that it would make remembering their anniversary simple.

  “If you would stop being so OCD, you would, too,” Rob said. “So, who is this guy she’s engaged to?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve only seen the ring.” And what a ring it was. Nice and big. Garish, if Mark was being honest. Not Karma at all. She wasn’t the garish type. She was more the brilliant diamond type. Simple, elegant, round. The princess cut was too angular for her slender fingers.

  “Was she at least happy to see you?”

  Mark rubbed his palm over his face. “That’s the thing. She’s angry—I mean, really angry—that I’m back.”

  “How so?”

  “Just really pissed off. I swear, Rob, if I’d known she’d react this way, I’m not sure I would have accepted the job.”

  “It’s a good job, Mark. It’s a step up for you. Even if you and Karma don’t hook up, that job is a move in the right direction. You were made for that job, and it’s one step closer to you running your own company. That’s why you took it. That whole ‘it’s a sign’ thing with Karma was just a sideshow to the main event.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Believe me, if I’d thought this wasn’t a good position, I wouldn’t have taken it. But, Jesus, I hope she and I will be able to work through what’s got her so mad at me.”

  “Think about it, Mark. You broke her heart.”

  Mark closed his eyes. He hated thinking about that. It hurt to remember their last night together, how she’d cried, how she’d clung to him. He’d felt it, too. He’d been just as heartbroken at leaving her behind as she had been to be left there.

  “But, hey,” Rob added, “if she’s really that angry, that’s a good sign.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “Anger is a sign of strong feelings, buddy. If she’s angry at you, she probably still has feelings for you. If she’s really angry, then those feelings are probably really strong. Exploit that.”