FLIRTING WITH 40

by K. Bromberg

  For a split second, I stare at Heather, at her wide eyes and her suddenly composed demeanor, and I know it would be so easy to out her. I could let everyone know the catty woman who made fun of me for being scared of bears is actually the one who was terrified when it came down to it.

  I could use the moment to make her look just as bad as she has made me look time and again, but I don’t. I refuse to be her. I choose to lead by example.

  Yes, I’m the older of the two of us.

  Yes, I’ll be the mature one.

  Yes, I’ll show her that we aren’t in competition, and that, at times, yes, I’ll take one for the good of our partnership.

  “It was me,” I say with a laugh and a bashful raise of my hand. “You know how much I fear bears.”

  And out of the corner of my eye, I see Heather stutter in motion, lips falling lax, eyes blinking rapidly.

  Yes, I just covered for you. Now it’s time for you to grow up and do the same, I say with the look I give her.

  “Thank god it was just a scare,” Gemma says as Slade slides a hand around my waist and presses a kiss to my temple.

  “Let’s get out of here,” the activity director says. “Just in case it was one.”

  He turns to lead the way out of the woods, but Slade tugs on my hand, his head dipping down so he can look straight in my eyes.

  “You okay?” he murmurs quietly.

  “Fine.” My smile is quick, strained.

  When I go to walk, he keeps me in place.

  “What?” I ask.

  “That wasn’t you who screamed, was it?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I’ve heard you scream my name plenty on this trip”—his grin is lightning quick—“and that wasn’t you.”

  I shrug coyly, and then we both jump when there is loud rustling at our backs. Slade pushes me behind him for safety as we turn so that when he throws his head back and laughs, I have no idea why.

  I step out from behind to see what’s so funny.

  And there with his green waders on, fishing pole in one hand, and bucket hat loaded with hooks sitting atop his head, stands Heather’s bear, Ed. His grin is huge and his eyes are mischievous.

  “Ed?” Slade chuckles as he moves toward him. “What in the hell are you doing out here?”

  “Hey, guys.” He holds up his free hand in greeting. “Just taking a shortcut here over to a new hot spot I found when I guess I scared the bejesus out of that girl you were talking there with.” He lifts his chin in the direction of where Heather and the rest of them went.

  “You let us think you were a bear,” I say around a laugh.

  “Yeah, well, she wasn’t being too nice to you, so I figured she deserved a little scare to knock some sense into her.” He shrugs. “A little fear never hurt no one.”

  “Ed,” Slade says and laughs, shaking his head in disbelief, “the world needs more men like you.”

  “Maybe so,” he says, “but this one needs to get some fishing in before the sun moves behind the hills.” He starts shuffling his feet. “You two have a good rest of the day now.”

  “Thanks. Good luck,” Slade says.

  “Don’t need it, but thanks.” His laughter filters back through as we both stand and stare at the direction he went.

  “Did that really just happen?” I ask.

  “Yes, it did.” He snorts. “Fucking, Ed.”

  “I’m glad to know there really wasn’t a bear, but I’m happy to know I didn’t act like an idiot either.”

  “True.” Slade reaches out and links his fingers with mine. “Does Heather understand you just took the hit so she can save face?”

  “I think she does.”

  “Why would you do that after everything she’s done to you?”

  “Sometimes, you have to be the bigger person to spark the change, and other times, you simply have to play the game.”

  He shakes his head and laughs. “Is that right?”

  “There’s more than one way to howl at the moon, Henderson.” I take a step away from him but don’t drop his hand. “Someone pretty awesome taught me that.”

  Blakely

  “You cold?”

  “No.”

  This is right where I want to be—on the dock, toes in the water, Slade’s arm wrapped around me, and with the moon high above.

  “I still can’t believe we won that stupid game.” He laughs and shakes his head.

  “How did we guess all of those things right about each other?” I think of the silly questions tonight in our Glam version of the old game show testing contestants’ knowledge about their newly married spouse.

  What’s your ideal date night?

  What do you wear to bed?

  What food do you hate?

  “We’re the ones pretending, and we beat everyone who wasn’t.”

  I laugh softly at his words while they sting at the same time. Because he’s right, we are pretending.

  Or maybe we were pretending, and I forgot about that. I got caught up in how so damn easy everything is between us—the talking, the playing, the sex—that I forgot we were, in fact, faking it.

  I did exactly what Prisha warned me not to do. I let the ease of Slade and how he treats me mess with my head.

  Sure, the sex is fantastic, but there can be sex without long-term emotions.

  And I let those grow when I knew I shouldn’t have.

  I made the mistake of thinking this is more.

  Deep breath, Blakely.

  He’s a rebound.

  Don’t ruin the last night together.

  You forgot that’s what this was.

  Tuck your thoughts away.

  It’s what you needed so you took it.

  Enjoy the time.

  He’s just a rebound.

  “Tell me, when you’re reinstated at work—”

  “When?”

  “Yes, when. Just like when I get the promotion. What’s next for you?” I ask. “Will it be hard to step back into your rounds at the hospital after being gone for so long?”

  “It shouldn’t be too hard. I’m sure my inbox will be loaded with cases the minute I’m allowed to return.” He knocks his knee against mine. “What about you? Do you think your bear sacrifice will pay off with Heather?”

  “I’m not too sure.” I shrug. “But I know I’m leaving here in a much better place with her than I was when we arrived. Not only do the rest of my colleagues see me in a different light but also, I confronted Heather. I attempted to clear the air with her, and I tried to be the bigger person. If she can’t accept that olive branch, then at least I know I tried and have a leg to stand on with the board.”

  “I’m so damn proud of you, Blakely.”

  Those seven simple words have emotions clogging my throat. So much so that I close my eyes to try to let it abate while I memorize everything about the moment. His warmth beside me, the way he makes me feel, the sound of the water lapping against the dock, the scent of his cologne, the complete and utter adoration I have for him, all cement themselves into my mind’s eye.

  “You’re quiet,” he says, pulling me back to the present.

  “I’m just enjoying this.” I rest my head against him.

  “Did you just say you’re enjoying this? Outdoors. Nature. Not hanging out on a broken porch swing?”

  “Yes. I do believe I am enjoying this.”

  He pulls me in tight against him and gives me a bear hug before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Look at all this personal growth. Who knew?” His chuckle rumbles through his chest and into me.

  “Hey, Slade?”

  “Hmm?”

  I tilt my head back to look at the moon, let everything I’ve learned about myself on this trip run through my mind, open my mouth, and let out the best attempt I can at a howl.

  It’s lame and cheesy and ends in me laughing and burying my face in my hands, but at least I tried.

  “That’s my girl!” Slade says as he joins
in with a howl of his own before laying me back on the dock and kissing me.

  Then undressing me.

  Then making love to me.

  One last time.

  Blakely

  “I do believe this is yours.”

  I shut my car door behind me as Slade holds out the napkin. I bite my bottom lip and then smile when I look down at it.

  “I think we did pretty damn good, don’t you?” he asks as my eyes slide down and stumble over the last line item. Taking it in my hand, I keep my gaze focused on it as I try to shove down my feelings that are tumbling out of control.

  The last thing I want him to see swimming in my eyes is that I somehow forgot that last task was a joke.

  It takes me a second to feel in enough control of my emotions before I can meet that blue-gray gaze of his. “We did, didn’t we?”

  “We make a good team, you and me.” He reaches out to link his fingers with mine as I lean my back against my car. “There’s more to be done though.”

  “Oh?” I say, forgetting the promotion line item and letting my hopes get the better of me.

  “Yep. I do believe we have a bet we can’t determine the winner of yet. Apparently, satisfaction is measured in terms of a promotion when it comes to you.” He winks. “And since that’s yet to be determined, should we say that we’re in a holding pattern?”

  “Yes. Agreed.” I swallow over the relief that I’ll get to see him again. “To be determined.”

  He knocks his knuckles on the top of my car. “I’m sorry we had to take two cars up here, but I’m sure you’re probably sick of me and can’t wait to have some peace and quiet.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” They’re the only words I trust myself to say as another pang of sadness hits me.

  “You sure you’re okay to make the drive?”

  “Yes. Of course.” I bite my cheek and laugh nervously. How silly was I not to heed Prisha’s advice not to fall for him? How ridiculous was I to allow myself to think that last item on the list was a real thing?

  “You sure?”

  My smile is forced as I set my purse and the napkin inside my car. “So, what dastardly deed should I commit to break us up?” It’s stupid, and I shouldn’t have said it, but being nervous and keeping my mouth shut don’t work well together.

  “Nah. Blame it on me.” His smile is soft, voice quiet. “Say my residency was too much and I couldn’t commit to giving you everything you deserve.”

  “That isn’t something I’d say—”

  “Anyone who knows me would agree with that statement, so it isn’t exactly a lie.” Another reticent smile that I read as an unspoken apology. “You deserve the world, Blake. Don’t you ever forget that.”

  I stare at him, wondering if this is his way of telling me we’d never work. His eyes and his words aren’t matching up, but hell if I’m going to call him on it. Shouldn’t I just be happy that I got this time with him, that I was able to experience all there is about Slade Henderson and his eternal optimism, and not complain?

  But I want to complain. I want to fist my hand in his shirt, yank him close so his mouth meets mine, and pour every ounce of emotion into the kiss so that when we part ways, he knows exactly how I feel.

  Fear of rejection has me rooted in place and rocking on my heels in lost chances.

  “Thanks. I guess.” Awkwardness consumes me.

  “No need to thank me. It’s just the truth.” Slade reaches out and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, the heel of his hand lingering on the line of my jaw. Our eyes hold, and I swear I see everything that’s roiling around in me reflected back in his eyes. If that’s the case, then why doesn’t he say something? Why don’t I say something?

  “Okay, then,” he murmurs. “Thank you for letting me come and play pretend with you.”

  “No need to thank me either.” I brave a smile that’s one hundred percent bittersweet.

  He leans forward and gives me the simplest but most tender of kisses I’ve ever been given before in my life. My heart jumps into my throat, and tears spring into my eyes. I’m grateful that he rests his forehead against mine, his hand still on the curve of my neck so I have a moment to recover.

  “It was my pleasure watching you find yourself, Blakely. Don’t ever forget how you felt this week. Don’t ever forget who she is. We’ll talk soon.”

  When he leans back to meet my gaze again, I have a reason for the tears welling in my eyes—one that he can understand, at least—his words.

  But when he opens my car door for me and then shuts it, I know the tears are for so much more.

  They’re for who I found.

  Who I fear I’ve lost.

  Didn’t Slade say the heart is where everything begins and ends?

  I’ve never thought those words to be more true than now as I leave a piece of mine behind with him.

  Slade

  With my hand on the steering wheel and my thumb thumping to an unknown beat, I watch until her taillights fade around the first bend.

  Then I lean my head back against the seat of my car and wonder what that sudden empty feeling is inside me.

  You were just dumped.

  I chuckle, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

  “Get back to your life, Slade.” I blow out a breath.

  A life that’s consumed by endless hours of work.

  That isn’t conducive to anything more than casual whatever I was doing.

  But that was before a chance encounter with Blakely Foxx.

  That was before this retreat.

  That was just before.

  Blakely

  “So there was the hot sex, the belly-aching laughs, the long talks in the moonlight, and the comfortable silence on the docks,” Kelsie says, “and you guys haven’t talked since then? Are you freaking crazy?” She bats at my thigh. “I mean all the signs are there!”

  “Signs?” I chortle. “Signs of what?”

  “That there was something more there.” Her voice ratchets in volume with each word.

  I turn to look at her laying atop my comforter beside me. “No, there was getting caught up in the moment is all. Two people thrown together reality show style—you know, forced to live together type of thing.” It’s so much easier to lie to myself than to believe Slade and I could have had something real.

  “See! I told you he would be the perfect rebound for you. There’s nothing like some earth-shattering sex at the hand of a younger, virile man who has a nice smile to make you get over your asshole ex.”

  “Virile?” I laugh through the ache of missing him that radiates through me.

  “That was my code for humungous, adept cock.”

  I choke on my next breath and cough through the laughter. “Jesus, Kels.”

  “Are you going to dispute it?”

  “I plead the fifth.” I hold my hands up in surrender.

  “But that’s all there was, Blake?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You didn’t develop feelings for him? I mean . . . it’s only normal to—rebound fling or not.”

  “It doesn’t matter whether I did or didn’t, it only matters if it’s mutual.”

  “Well? Did you ask him how he felt about you?” she asks and laughs in disbelief. “Of course you didn’t.”

  “I believe his words were something along the lines of, ‘It’s been fun pretending with you.’ And then he went on to say how everyone would believe if we broke up because he doesn’t commit to anyone. I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t get more subliminally clear than that.”

  “And your point is what? Sometimes we say things we think the other person wants to hear even when they aren’t exactly the truth.”

  I smile and shake my head. “It isn’t the same.”

  “He kissed you good-bye, right? I mean, you don’t kiss your fake girlfriend good-bye when no one else is looking.”

  I close my eyes and let the tears burn there. The ones riddled with disbelief that Slade feels
the same way. It took me less than a week to feel like this for him, so why has it taken the same amount of days to doubt every single second of it?

  “Let’s face it, he was a rebound. Just like you said he was. Perfect for the moment—for what I needed to get over everything with Paul, but not for reality.”

  “I call bullshit.”

  “You can call it whatever you want, but it is what it is.” I close my eyes and sigh.

  “What it is, is you being a chickenshit who’s afraid to put yourself out there.”

  “You forget. I did put myself out there. And it isn’t as if we haven’t talked since. We’ve texted, and I’ve asked him if there was anything new about Ivy. He asked me if I’d heard about the promotion yet. There were no words about having a great time or about missing each other. There was no, maybe we should try this thing between us. It was causal. It was easy.” Just like Prisha warned me it would be. He has no clue how much I’ve fallen for him because, simply put, he is just that much of a nice guy. “That’s it.”

  “Text. Text. Text. Thanks for joining the twenty-first century, but you need to pick up the phone and call him. I mean, you’re head over heels for this guy.”

  Isn’t that the problem though?

  How can I be head over heels in love with a guy in this short amount of time? How do I admit that without sounding like a crazy woman who is supposed to be convincing herself that he is a rebound? Has to be.

  No one falls that quickly unless they are emotionally unstable after a huge breakup. No one falls that quickly without ruining themselves when the other person realizes they’re a rebound and moves on.

  “He’s way too good to be true. It’s probably best to leave it as it is.” I plaster a smile on my lips that I hope she believes and try to own my comment. It feels like I’ve been doing that a lot lately.

  “If you say so,” she says as I look toward the ceiling to avert my eyes because I don’t want her looking too closely. If she does, she’ll see the truth. She nudges me with her elbow. “Look at you all hitting-it-and-quitting-it. I never knew you had that in you.” She pats a hand over her heart, and sighs affectionately. “I’m so proud of how far you’ve come in such a short time.”