A Family for Jason

by Virginia McCullough

  Mike narrowed his eyes. “I expected more from you, Kristine. You were a year behind us, but we all went to school together. You knew Ruby, you knew me.” He shook his head in disgust.

  “Apparently, Kristine, a hideous tragedy to us is an unforgettable scandal to you.” Ruby tapped her mouth as if surprised by her own words.

  Kristine met her gaze, but quickly looked away. Mike offered Ruby a faint smile of solidarity and added, “And it changed everything.”

  “Okay, okay. Suit yourselves,” Kristine said dismissively. “But a lot of us did stick around and have witnessed the place shrinking around us. You’ve seen the ruins of the Riverside Foods plant. You’ve seen the empty storefronts.”

  “None of that is my fault,” Mike said. “Or Ruby’s. Our parents didn’t cause it. So, what’s your point?”

  Her eyes flashed with anger, over what Mike still couldn’t figure out. “You’re outsiders now. You don’t deal with the everyday troubles, like trying to find enough money to clear snow off the roads, or repair some crumbling sidewalks. Ruby comes up with an idea to expand the trail and now she’s the big hero?” Kristine made a half turn and stepped away. “Don’t be surprised if not everyone opens their arms to welcome you back.”

  “That’s small, Kristine.”

  “Maybe so, Mike, maybe so.” Kristine quickly headed toward a small cluster of people.

  Ruby steered Jason to his side. Mike immediately crouched down. “I’m so impressed with you, buddy. Time to go home.”

  “I should be heading out, too,” Ruby said, “but I’m happy I got to see your art show, Jason. Thanks for inviting me. You should be so proud of yourself.”

  Mike waited until they were outside before inviting her back to the house for coffee or a glass of wine.

  Ruby’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, thanks, but I really should get back to Em. I need to let Peach out.”

  She bent down and cupped Jason’s cheek with her palm. “I’m very proud to know you.”

  After a quick goodbye, he and Jason were standing right where they had seen her arriving that evening. Now they waved goodbye.

  “Okay, Jason, let’s go. It’s been a big night. It’s almost time to get into bed and read a story.” He said the words in an upbeat tone, but was distracted by watching the taillights of Ruby’s car follow other vehicles down the drive and out to the street.

  Mike couldn’t muster the energy to keep up cheerful one-sided patter with Jason on the way home. Soon enough, they were at the lake and it took only a few minutes to give Jason a quick shower and sit next to him on the bed to start the first of the two bedtime stories. “This one again,” he teased, opening the book about an astronaut a long way from home. When they were done, Jason immediately handed him the second book. Mike laughed and ran his fingers through Jason’s brown curls. “You don’t waste a minute, buddy.”

  He started the first page of the story, this one about some city kids, when the knocking sound came from the kitchen door. “Who could that be?” he said to Jason. “You stay here. I’ll go see.”

  Ruby...let it be Ruby.

  He went down the hall and around the corner into the kitchen. He looked through the glass. Yes, Ruby. Simply seeing her lips turning up in a shy smile triggered a happy buzz zipping through his body and leaving him nearly without words.

  “Can a woman change her mind?” Ruby asked when he opened the door and stepped back to let her in.

  “Always. You’re just in time to come and join us for the second story of the night. After that, you can tell me what changed your mind. I know my coffee is good, but...”

  Ruby grinned. “I could wait here. I don’t want to interfere with Jason’s bedtime.”

  “You won’t. He’ll be happy to see you.” He paused. “Like he always is.”

  Mike led the way to his old room, where Jason was thumbing through the book, probably reading it himself. Silence couldn’t hide the fact that Jason read pretty well. “No fair, you’re getting ahead.”

  “Hi, Jason. Your dad said it was okay for me join you for your story. Hope that’s okay.”

  Jason’s private little smile for Ruby always went straight to Mike’s heart. And from the sweet expression on Ruby’s face it did the same for her. She pulled out the kids’ chair from the desk, but Mike pointed with his chin to the foot of the bed. “There’s plenty of room for you.”

  With the light dim in the room, Mike read the new story about kids in a big apartment building camping out in the living room. They imagined themselves in the wilderness with the lamp turning into an eagle and the chair a grizzly. By the time the kids in the story had scared themselves with their imaginations, Jason had nodded off.

  Mike closed the book, but stayed put until Jason’s breathing was regular and his body limp. He eased off the bed and put the blanket around his shoulders. Ruby went into the hall and Mike kissed Jason’s forehead.

  Mike pulled the kitchen pocket door closed before joining Ruby on the window seat, where they could see the moonlight reflected on the rippling surface of the lake. Sometimes it was like glass, a still-life painting, but the light wind that night ruffled the surface.

  “Quite a sight, isn’t it?” he asked, nodding to the window. “What’ll it be, coffee or red wine?”

  “Wine sounds good,” she said.

  “While I open the bottle, you can tell me why you changed your mind.” He took out two glasses and the corkscrew and lifted a bottle from the wine rack his dad made for his mom one Christmas.

  She let out a light laugh. “Oh, such a hard question. I’m not even sure.”

  “Try, please.” The words caught in his throat as the buzz in his body came rushing back.

  “It’s all mixed up with these feelings I have about what’s good for Jason. For his sake, I shouldn’t be here. I should leave right away.”

  He opened his mouth to interrupt to argue a different case, but her raised palm stopped him cold.

  “Then, Kristine riled me up. Oooh, she made me so mad. She all but said there’s nothing for you here in town. And the way she talked, I most certainly should get out of Bluestone River.” Her voice rose with each word. “It shifted something in me about what happened to us.” Her forehead wrinkled in a deep frown. “Not our parents, Mike, but us.”

  Finally, Mike thought, feeling all his muscles letting go. He poured them each a glass of wine, then sat on the opposite side of the window seat and handed her a glass. He had the urge to propose a toast.

  “I have this sort vague and fleeting anger at my mom,” Ruby said. “She convinced me that we wouldn’t be welcome in town. She thought her friends would abandon her. A few years ago she admitted they tried to support her, but she rejected them.”

  “Doesn’t that make sense in a way? She was embarrassed.” Mike pointed down. “My dad didn’t leave the house because my mom humiliated him. His word.”

  “Kristine knows you’re a leader, Mike. She probably senses you’re a rival. Something like that.”

  Mike laughed. “I’m a big threat to her. Me and my growing law firm. I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but I may have a third client.”

  “Hey, see? I knew this would work.” She looked down into the glass of wine. “Tonight I made a resolution. I’m not going to act like I need to slink around my hometown as if I did something wrong.”

  This was the crossroad. A second chance was one thing, but if he let her walk away again, he’d never get a third chance.

  “Then don’t go, Ruby. I love you. I’ve always loved you. Stay. For me. For us.”

  She groaned. “Mike...c’mon. You can’t mean—”

  “You bet I mean it.” He put his glass on the island counter and moved closer so he could pick up her hand. “How much longer are we going to let our parents steal what was ours?” he demanded. “I know what I said the other day. And it’s true. No
more blame. I was prepared to give you up once and for all. But I don’t want to. And I don’t think you want that, either.”

  She closed her eyes, as if blocking out what he’d said.

  “I’m not backing down. Your dad and my mom had an affair for reasons we don’t know, and may never understand.” He ran his index finger down her cheek. “Can we agree on that?”

  She tilted her head the flirtatious way he remembered so well. “I’ll stipulate to that.”

  “See? We’re halfway there.” He took the glass out of her hand and rested her palm against his cheek. “Do you love me, Ruby?”

  “Mike, you know I do.”

  “Okay, that took care of the second half. That’s it. We settled the hard part. We were robbed. And now we’ve agreed not to blame ourselves or each other for what happened. But, Ruby, let’s take another step. Maybe reasons to be apart made sense a long time ago. But not anymore. We love each other.”

  Ruby put up a hand to stop him. “Love is fine, but we don’t know a relationship would ever work out between us.”

  “Do you remember this?” he asked, leaning in and kissing her lightly. “I never forgot. Never.” He kissed her again and again, deepening each kiss as he smoothed his fingers over her wet cheeks. He buried his face in her hair and tightened his embrace. Never let go, never again. Suddenly, she raised her head and took his face in her hands and kissed him as if twenty years had vanished.

  “You haven’t left me alone for twenty years, Mike. You’ve lived in my heart all this time.” She pulled away and gulped back tears. “This is so risky. Jason...nothing is more important. He’s precious. Vulnerable.” She wiped away more tears, but she managed a smile.

  “It was always so sweet between us, Ruby. Now I see you with Jason. Of course, he’s attached to you. But aren’t you attached to him?”

  Ruby nodded and then looked into his eyes. “Can’t fool you. I’m putty in your son’s hands.” She chuckled. “Like Peach is. She adores the little boy who’s never said a word to her.”

  He leaned in and kissed again, and then again. “Who needs words when we can share kisses like these? All the years drop away. When I kiss you I’m like a kid crazy in love. Only now I’m an adult man in love.”

  She traced her finger along his jaw, her face tender, thoughtful. “But what about Jason?”

  “What about him? He loves you. That’s why we were worried, you and I both, about him becoming attached. If we’re together, it’s good news.” As if reading her mind, he added, “He’ll speak when he’s ready. Meanwhile, he’s gaining more confidence and reaching out more and more.”

  “But...still, he’s troubled.”

  “And you’re not up for a challenge?” He pulled his head back. “Since when?”

  She stared out the window, no longer tearful, but still looking perplexed, uncertain.

  Drawing her into his arms, he whispered, “Maybe it’s too soon to talk about this, but we could have a child of our own. We always planned to. Think of it. We can still have the life we wanted.” He laughed. “I’m sure Jason wouldn’t mind adding a baby to his drawing.”

  “Oh, Mike, we had our strategies, our goals...”

  “You don’t have to finish that sentence, Rubes.” His voice was filled with frustration over the past. He pointed out the window. “Look out there, Ruby. It’s the same Bluestone River moonlight we chased in the rowboat when we went out as far as we could to hide from my parents and steal a few kisses.”

  She laughed. “Or, even better on moonless nights when it was too dark to be seen.” He wrapped his arms around her and breathed in the scent of her hair. “What do you say? Let’s give it a try.”

  Silence.

  “We should admit how we feel and—”

  Suddenly, piercing shrieks startled Mike. He ran to open the kitchen door and hurried down the hall. “I’m coming, Jason, I’m coming.” The sound of the crying was matched by Jason’s thrashing, caught among the blanket and sheets. Inconsolable at first, Jason took a while to calm down, but Mike was patient. It just took time. He gathered him up in his arms and started rocking him back and forth, back and forth.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  RUBY FOUGHT THE impulse to go after Mike and stayed behind in the kitchen. Mike knew what to do. She wanted so badly to say yes to a life with Mike. Maybe even a baby. All their teenage passion rushed back. It hadn’t ever left them.

  What do you say? Let’s give it a try. Huh? His words haunted her. She couldn’t afford to give it a try. That’s what Neil and Emma did. They wasted years trying. It was only a few days ago that she and Mike had agreed to move on...alone.

  She tiptoed down the hall to the doorway of Jason’s room. With his back to her, Mike was murmuring soothing words. “You’re okay, you’re okay. I’m here.”

  She closed her eyes. It thrilled her to whisper about living in each other’s hearts for two decades. And reminisce over moonlight and share kisses that seemed as familiar as her face in the mirror. She was a puddle of emotion watching Mike comfort his son. He’d had Jason for only a short while, and so quickly become a really great dad.

  Jason’s picture of the three of them and Peach reflected not just what he saw, but what he wanted. Ruby was sure of it.

  As she looked on, though, talk about their feelings for each other could sound so perfect in the moment. With Jason to consider, they had no room to get it wrong. She didn’t believe it would happen, but it was possible Jason would live in his silence for years to come. He’d need his dad. Ruby couldn’t continue letting this child count on a family that would never match his fantasy.

  Ruby mulled over what had compelled her to turn her car around and head to Mike’s. She and Mike talked a good game about closure and letting each other off the hook. Right. And one look at a child’s drawing stripped away the facade. Who were they kidding?

  Still...this was too fast, too driven by what they wanted to be true. She—and he—needed time to be sure. Ruby found the pad of paper and the pen on the counter and wrote:

  I’m not running away. This isn’t me avoiding anything. But please, think about what you want, not just for you, but for Jason. Meet me at the bridge in the morning. Love, Ruby.

  She moved it to the center of the island, where he couldn’t miss it. She went quietly to the door and let herself out.

  * * *

  RUBY ARRIVED FIRST on the cold, gray morning and leaned against the railing on the park side of the bridge. She wore her purple raincoat since dark clouds hung heavy in the sky. It was the perfect day to wear her favorite color.

  Over breakfast, she’d told Emma what happened the previous night, from the minute she met Mike at the school to leaving his house and coming home by herself. She’d left Emma nearly speechless—both happy and apprehensive about what would happen now. Just like me.

  She’d slept off and on, mostly restless and eager to see the sun rise. In between dozing off for a few minutes she read through her journal and looked at the list of possible jobs she’d flagged on her computer. The jobs were all over the country, some that a second look told her were a bad fit. When she’d arrived, she’d been badly shaken by failure. And burnout. The years of work in crisis and trauma and dealing with that last school board had taken their toll. Like Emma had said about her surgery, time itself was healing.

  And so is he.

  Mike’s car came down the unpaved road and pulled onto the shoulder. When he got out of the car, he smiled. With a purposeful stride, he crossed the bridge and headed straight to her. He gathered her in his arms and kissed her. She held tight to him, relieved he’d understood. When he broke the kiss, she pulled his head down to her and kissed him again. Finally, they paused, and he whispered, “I’m so glad to see you. Why did you leave?”

  “It’s going to sound trivial, but it’s not. Last night you said, ‘Let’s give it a try.’” She l
owered her gaze. “We can’t afford to try. We need to succeed for all our sakes. I know you didn’t mean it that way, but it startled me.”

  Mike knocked the heel of his hand against his head. “I can’t believe that was my big proposal. That’s what I thought I was doing.”

  “Really?” Ruby snorted a laugh.

  She was teasing, and he was almost certainly aware of that.

  “I can do better.” He chuckled and turned red. “Just give me a minute to come up with a line or two a little more romantic than ‘let’s give it a try.’”

  She let go of one of his hands and put her hand in the center of his chest. “Not yet.

  “Mike, we have everything. We love each other. But we have a complicated history—”

  “I thought we settled that.” His voice sounded anxious. “We had that talk.”

  “And we let each other go. We said as much. Did everything change because of a child’s drawing? You were speechless. I was thrown and had to walk away or I would have burst into tears.”

  “If I’d seen Jason’s drawing, that talk we had would have been much different. I had argued against what I knew we could have together. Instead, I decided to accept that you were leaving. I couldn’t let you go until you knew how I felt. No more blame, no more anger. And you gave the same back to me. I didn’t love you any less that day than I do right now.”

  Her heart knew that all along. “I’ve been cautious. I was afraid of people like Kristine.” She pointed to herself. “Me. Afraid of someone like that?”

  “You pretty much handled her attitude when you reminded her that what happened was a tragedy.” Mike tightened his mouth.

  “I get that now. But, there’s Jason. I left your house because I wanted you to have time to think that through.”

  Mike laughed. “Ya wanna know what I think. I think you’ll be a wonderful mom to my son. He’ll be ours, just like any child we might have.” Mike wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “So, will you marry me? As soon as possible? Right here on this bridge?”