Facing the Sun

by Carol Beth Anderson

  When the midday bell rang, Tavi, Narre, and Sall agreed to take their lunches to the midwife house instead of eating in the schoolyard. Tavi felt enormous relief when they rounded the first bend in the road, and the school was no longer in sight.

  At the midwife house, the three of them ate lunch under a tree. They chatted as they ate, and Narre and Sall both made fun of their classmates and teacher, mimicking the wide-eyed stares Tavi had received all morning. The ensuing laughter helped.

  After a quick lunch, they walked into the midwife house and headed toward the stairs, which would lead them to the training rooms on the third floor. Before they could ascend, however, Ellea exited the kitchen. Her face broke into a huge smile.

  “Tavi!” she exclaimed, rushing forward, and then her soft, strong arms were enveloping her newly awakened student. The enthusiastic welcome reminded Tavi that her awakening was worth celebrating. When Ellea released her, Tavi was surprised to see that the midwife’s eyes were shining with tears. “I’m so glad you’re joining us,” Ellea said.

  Upstairs, Sall and Narre showed Tavi the various rooms on the training floor. There was a classroom where Sall assured her Pala was not one of the lecturers (though Narre pointed out that some of the other teachers were almost as boring.) Next to that was a spacious room with no furniture. Small rugs were rolled up along the walls; this was the meditation room. The third room held wooden blocks, ladders, chairs, tables both short and tall, ropes, crates full of smaller items, and more. It was the practicum room where students worked on honing their gifts. Last, there was a library, small but crammed with several hundred books on magic.

  Class wouldn’t start for another fifteen minutes, so the three of them looked through book titles as they waited. After a short time, however, Ellea entered the library. The midwife approached Tavi with a friendly smile. “I have a meeting with every new student before they start training,” Ellea explained. “It’s a beautiful day—let’s go outside.”

  Tavi wasn’t sure what to make of this, but she followed Ellea downstairs and out the front door. They began a circuit of the grounds of the midwife house, Ellea smiling at other trainees as they arrived. She turned toward Tavi and addressed her. “We’ve waited a long time for this day.”

  A nervous laugh burst out of Tavi’s mouth—“a long time” felt like a terrible understatement. “We have,” she said.

  “Students are often anxious about these meetings,” Ellea said. “Please don’t be. This is not a test, and you can’t fail. I simply want to talk to you about your awakening and prepare you for a successful training.”

  Ellea reached out a hand and gently touched Tavi’s forearm. The midwife’s hand glowed, and Tavi felt peace wash over her. After a few moments, Ellea removed her hand and spoke again. “I would love to hear the story of your awakening.”

  Tavi looked around her, the trees reminding her of the clearing where her magic had awakened. A touch of panic from that day crept back in, and she wasn’t sure she could put the experience into words. Ellea must have sensed her student’s discomfort, because she smiled and said, “Don’t worry about telling it perfectly. Just start at the beginning. What is the first thing you felt?”

  Tavi talked, and the sentences formed themselves. She described her suddenly sharp sense of smell, the ensuing onslaught of other sensations, her friends’ support, and her exhaustion afterward. Ellea was an excellent listener, inserting short comments or questions as needed and proving with her frequent smiles that she cared about every phrase her student spoke.

  When Tavi finished, Ellea asked, “How have you felt since then?”

  “Exhausted,” Tavi said, and in speaking it, she couldn’t hold back a small yawn. “Also, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I haven’t felt even a glimmer of magic since my awakening. And . . . well, I only bled for two days, and only a little. Is it possible to awaken and then . . . go back to sleep?”

  Ellea smiled. “That question is more common than you might think,” she said. “Regarding your mother cycle, it often starts small and doesn’t regulate itself for months. That’s perfectly normal. And when a sun-blessed individual has a dramatic awakening, as you did, it usually drains their energy and their magic. However, once you’ve awakened, it doesn’t undo itself! You will soon recover and experience your gifts again.”

  Tavi nodded, relieved. “All right—thank you.”

  Ellea said, “This is a good time to talk about power, tolerance, and control. What do you know of these concepts?”

  This would be easy; Tavi had been in the weekly training program for long enough to hear many lectures on the topic. “Power refers to how strong someone’s gifts are,” she began. At Ellea’s encouraging nod, she continued. “Tolerance refers to how much magic someone can use before they need to take a break.”

  “Very good. And control?”

  “Control refers to someone’s ability to activate their magic when, and only when, they desire to do so.”

  “Excellent.” Ellea was smiling. “You’ve been listening to the lectures! Every sun-blessed individual awakens with certain levels of power, tolerance, and control—and these levels vary widely from one person to the next, according to Sava’s will.

  “Through diligent training, you can further develop your power and tolerance, though the potential for improvement in those areas seems to be limited. However, with dedication and discipline, most students can improve their control significantly. That will be the focus of much of our training.”

  Tavi nodded. “My exhaustion—is that because my tolerance for magic is low?”

  “That’s a good question,” Ellea replied. “My guess is your physical reaction is tied to your control, rather than your tolerance. Few people awaken with high levels of control. Your body was flooded with a tremendous amount of magic, and you were overwhelmed. I don’t know of anyone who could have handled that, regardless of how much tolerance they have.”

  Tavi’s eyes narrowed. “But Narre has always had a lot of control over her gifts.”

  “True,” Ellea said. “Narre is in the minority; she has a great deal of natural control. Her diligence in training has allowed her to further increase it. She has more control now than many Blessed have after decades of training.”

  Seeing Tavi’s nod of understanding, Ellea continued. “Let’s talk about each of the gifts you displayed at your awakening.” They discussed Tavi’s gifted nose, ears, and feet, then moved on to her eyes. “You sounded confused about what you were seeing—the air around your friends that seemed to twist,” Ellea said. “Do you know what that was?”

  Tavi shook her head. “It was strange!”

  “It’s not one of the more common sight gifts,” Ellea began, “but I have seen it in others. I believe you were seeing body heat. You saw distorted air around your friends’ heads and under their arms. These are areas that are warmer than average.”

  Tavi’s eyes widened. “That makes sense!” she said.

  They talked about the other gifts Tavi had displayed, and then Ellea asked, “What about your mouth; did you notice any speech gifting?”

  Tavi grimaced. “I couldn’t say a word during the whole awakening. But my friends said my mouth was glowing like the rest of me.”

  “Likely we'll see a speech gift reveal itself in time,” Ellea assured her.

  They walked quietly for a couple of minutes, then stopped under a tree. Ellea placed her hand on Tavi’s shoulder and spoke gently. “I’d like to talk about Tullen.”

  Tavi stiffened. “What about him?”

  “You said he was there when you awakened.”

  “Yes, he helped me, along with Sall and Narre.”

  “I’m glad you weren’t alone,” Ellea said. “But, Tavi, I’m concerned about Tullen bringing Meadow influences into your training.”

  “Meadow influences?”

  “As we discussed before your awakening, the Meadow doesn’t train their Blessed.”

  Tavi shook her head. “I know y
ou’ve heard that, but I asked Tullen. He’s received training. It’s just more informal.”

  “Informal,” Ellea repeated. “That concerns me. The training we do here is based on many years of study. It lines up with our teachings about Sava. Its very formality protects the students.”

  “Protects us?”

  “Throughout magical history,” Ellea said, “heretics have attempted to take magic in directions Sava did not intend. Gifted men and women have tried to break through resistance. Entire groups of Blessed have banded together to gain power by combining their magic. It has never turned out well. Our training protects you from teachings that might lead you along dangerous paths.”

  Tavi didn’t respond. She could ascribe plenty of qualities to Tullen, but dangerous was not one of them.

  “I know you may not see it the way I do,” Ellea said. “But will you please promise to be careful?”

  Tavi nodded. “Of course.”

  Ellea’s serious expression softened into a smile. She began to walk again, and Tavi went with her. “You handled your awakening beautifully,” Ellea said.

  “I panicked! I thought I was dying!”

  Ellea laughed. “That is more common than you might think too, particularly when a twice-blessed individual awakens. I can’t imagine how it must have felt to experience so many gifts at once! But you listened to your friends, and you calmed yourself. You did well. Do you have questions for me?”

  Tavi took a moment to think. “I have so many questions, I wouldn’t know where to begin,” she admitted.

  “That doesn’t surprise me,” Ellea said. “I can at least help you with knowing where to begin! We have found through the years that relaxation and meditation are crucial in developing control. Three times a week, we hold a mandatory, hour-long class teaching these skills. Today’s class will begin soon. We’ll go inside and get a pair of cotton pants for you so you can participate.”

  “Pants?” Tavi asked.

  Ellea said with a small laugh, “Nydine, the volunteer who teaches the class, sometimes introduces the strangest exercises. I have pushed for years for all our young women to wear pants instead of skirts during training, but I continue to encounter opposition. For now, a pair of pants under your skirt will have to do.”

  When Tavi was attired in cotton drawstring pants under her skirt, she made her way to the meditation room. Nine other students were present, and eighteen eyes turned in Tavi’s direction when she entered. She sighed and found a spot near Sall and Narre. Following their lead, she took off her shoes, then unrolled one of the small rugs and stood on it. Tavi was just starting to quietly update her friends on her meeting with Ellea when Nydine entered.

  The young instructor’s round face was all smiles as she took her place at the front of the class. She gave a little nod to Tavi, but thankfully she did not verbally acknowledge her new student. “Please stand straight, with your feet shoulder-width apart, toes facing forward,” Nydine began. She then led the class through breathing exercises.

  When they were in a good rhythm, Nydine walked through the room, guiding students to adjust their stances and their breaths. When she reached Tavi, Nydine showed her how to use her hand on her belly to ensure that she was breathing from deep in her gut. Tavi hadn’t known how she would feel about these classes, but at the moment, she felt more at peace than she had in days.

  After some time, Nydine asked them to lay on their backs, and she guided them to tighten and then release one muscle group at a time while continuing their deep, rhythmic breathing. Tavi’s entire body felt deliciously relaxed. Nydine then encouraged the students to picture themselves walking along a peaceful path. She asked them to imagine what each of their senses felt.

  Tavi feared the instructor’s soothing voice would lull her into sleep, and she was relieved when they were told to move to their hands and knees. Nydine guided them in exercises involving lifting one or more limbs up into the air. Tavi was glad for her pants as she pointed one toe as high as she could.

  It was at that moment the classroom door opened, and a loud voice broke in to their collective reverie.

  “Well, well, this is certainly innovative training!” Tavi knew she had heard that voice before—male and filled with arrogant cheer. She couldn’t place who it was, however, so she opened one eye and looked around. Weaving through the students, most of whom had set their knees back on the ground, was Mayor Briggun Nolin. Tavi gasped and closed her eyes, hoping against reason it would keep him from seeing her.

  Nydine’s voice became shrill and uncertain. “Mayor!” she said.

  Mayor Nolin walked to the front of the room, and his voice filled the space. “What a pleasure it is to visit our town’s best and brightest!” he said. “How about a brief break?”

  Nydine said tightly, “Students, you may sit back on your heels.” They complied, and as Tavi glanced around her, she saw that everyone else looked as confused as she felt. Apparently mayoral visits weren't common.

  “I heard the good news this morning,” Mayor Nolin said, “and I could not let the day pass without stopping by to offer my personal support and congratulations.”

  “I’m sorry,” Nydine said, “I’m not sure what news you’re referencing.”

  Mayor Nolin gave a hearty chuckle that sounded fake to Tavi and replied, “Why, Tavina’s awakening, of course!”

  The skin of Tavi’s face, neck, and ears again filled with heat. Every eye in the room landed on her, and her relaxation fled. But the mayor wasn’t done.

  “Perhaps you’d like to step to the front and demonstrate your impressive gifts, Tavina?” he asked, those bright, straight teeth filling the room with their gleam.

  Tavi was frozen in place, her mouth open but no air or words emanating from it. Nydine rescued her. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible, Mayor Nolin.”

  He appeared taken aback, but he quickly recovered, beaming again. “Very well,” he said. “Another day, perhaps!” He looked straight at Tavi. “Our entire town is gratified that you’re part of it, Tavina,” he said.

  Then Mayor Nolin again walked back toward the door, and when he passed Tavi, he patted her head. She wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or find a bathroom where she could scrub her hair. Tavi did not turn around as she listened to the mayor’s footsteps recede, and she let out a breath when the door closed again.

  “Well,” Nydine said, “that was unexpected.” She gave Tavi a sympathetic look. “Return to your backs, please, class. Let’s try to recapture our relaxed state.”

  For Tavi, that was a hopeless endeavor.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Occasionally something happens to remind me that magic itself was not fully tamed when Savala was born. Magic has always retained a certain wildness.

  From Training Sun-Blessed Students by Ellea Kariana

  Over a week had passed since Tavi’s awakening, and she hadn’t felt the slightest hint of magic since. Her classmates weren’t staring anymore, at least not often, which she supposed was nice. But despite Ellea’s assurances to the contrary, Tavi wondered if she might be the first-ever blessed person to have run out of magic right after her awakening. She was sure everyone around her was thinking the same.

  Going to training in the afternoons with Sall and Narre was wonderful, but it would be so much better if Tavi weren’t so helpless during practicum sessions. Every day she stood in the room, breathing deeply, watching others for inspiration, and focusing on rousing her reticent gifts. All the while, the surrounding students turned their magic on and off as easily as opening and closing window shutters. It was embarrassing. Nydine and Ellea encouraged Tavi to redouble her efforts in meditation class, but if she relaxed any more effectively, she’d be napping.

  On this summer morning, Tavi sat in her school classroom, drowsy from the stuffy air. She knew she should focus on Miss Maybin’s droning voice, but instead Tavi’s gaze wandered the room. When her eyes met Reba’s, Tavi tried to look away, but she wasn’t fast enough to miss the smir
k Reba gave her. Tavi hated those smirks.

  Like Sall and Narre, Reba had a front-row seat to Tavi’s attempted gift development. Only Reba seemed to relish the difficulties Tavi experienced. Tavi had hoped their old friendship would be rekindled once she had awakened. Clearly she’d been not only mistaken, but also embarrassingly idealistic. Reba didn’t seem interested in having a pleasant relationship with any of her three former friends. Tavi wondered if that would ever change. She desperately wanted it to.

  The odor of chalk tugged Tavi’s attention to the front of the room. At the same second she thought, I don’t usually smell chalk from my desk, she noticed her other gifts activating. It brought back an immediate, sharp memory of her awakening, and her heart responded by initiating a frenzied beat against her chest wall.

  Tavi reached out a hand to Narre, who sat next to her. When her cousin saw Tavi’s glowing skin, her eyes widened. Narre took the proffered hand, but it didn’t help. Tavi was again pummeled by an overabundance of awareness—of teachers’ voices throughout the school, Narre’s blood pulsing and flowing, waves of body heat around every person in the room, vibrations from an underground stream, and diagrams in her head of how her desk was constructed.

  Tavi’s thrumming mind struggled to remember what had helped before. First she attempted to breathe more deeply and slowly. This wasn’t easy; her breath wanted to keep up with her heart. But she tried. Then she looked in Narre’s eyes, drawing in the comfort she found there. Last, Tavi remembered Tullen’s advice to focus on one gift at a time. She attempted to turn every thought toward her feet.

  Each person in the classroom was watching her now, as her body lit up the air around her, but Tavi closed her eyes, trying to ignore the others. Her feet—the magic needed to be in her feet only. She pictured the light throughout her body flowing into her feet, and imagination became reality as magic traveled up her arms and down her neck, torso, and legs, rushing toward the floor.