Her face pinkened, and she shook her head. “I’m tired and not ready…”
I quirked a smile. “Not for more—just to relax where I can hold you.”
She walked with me as I held her hands, leading her. “Hold me?”
I opened the door and ushered her into the bedroom. Cuddling was a good thing for both of us. I led her to the bed and sat on the edge. “I’ve enjoyed you many times. I want you. You want me. Now, I just want to unwind.”
She lowered herself next to me. “That sounds nice.”
We curled into her queen-sized bed, and I wrapped my arms around her. Holding her close made my body less tense. She trusted me. She led our physical relationship.
“See?” I said.
She adjusted her pillow and then turned to stare at me. I reached for her hand, and she offered it and laid our hands between us.
Then she closed her eyes and looked at peace and beautiful. She sighed. “I like this.”
She was the woman I loved. I closed my own eyes. “Me too.”
“The only person in my bed at night was Aurora, and that’s only when she had a bad dream.”
I opened my eyes and saw her staring at me. My lips longed for a taste, so I kissed her forehead and lay back down. “My mom used to cuddle us, too, when we had a bad dream. I loved her warm milk with saffron.”
She traced my muscles like she was memorizing me. “I never had that.”
I supposed milk with saffron was a Persian thing. I squeezed her palm gently. “I’ll make it for you upstairs. It always knocked me out.”
She smiled. “Must have been nice to grow up knowing someone had your back.”
Her words caught me off guard. I remembered how her father hadn’t wanted me near her. I swallowed. “Your father was protective.”
She shook her head but didn’t tense. “No, not really. There is a difference between having someone’s back and having power over someone. He’s the one that chose Bob for me and promised to never take me back, so Bob knew he had total control.”
My parents would never have done that. Maddie’s father had been mean-spirited when I was a teenager, but I’d taken that as an act born out of love. I didn’t know him beyond those moments when he’d insulted me.
I said, “My mother wanted to pick out my bride, but she hasn’t breathed a word about it since you came back.”
Her lids lowered. “I’m not bride material.”
“Don’t worry about her. She likes you.” I traced her arm. “Just think about who and what you want to do to help something bigger than yourself.”
She pouted as she gazed at me. “I don’t know.”
She was the love of my life. I needed her to see some of the spark she had. “You said you wanted to give back to the world.”
She cuddled closer and held me tight. “Just hold me, Arman.”
With her on my chest, I felt like I was whole. “Get some rest.”
“You too.”
A few minutes later, she dozed off. She trusted to have me in her bed. This was a better start than I’d hoped for.
Chapter Fifteen
Maddie
Three Days Later
Sunday morning had come and gone fast. Arman got a call that he needed to go to London for a meeting. He asked if I wanted to go, but I said no, claiming it was about Aurora. It wasn’t.
If I couldn’t please him, then I would never really know if he’d enjoyed himself. He’d said he enjoyed my company, but it was impossible to love someone who didn’t give back. The last two days at work, I’d toyed with the idea of just leaving. However, Arman’s nearness, my job, and my daughter’s joy kept me there. I had to face the fact that it was on me to get my life together.
When I came home from work the night before, I’d passed a flyer about meditation class that took place in the lobby of our building. It was free, and maybe meditation wasn’t a sin like I’d been told. So that morning, I walked my daughter to school and then came back. I rocked on my feet outside the lobby’s side room and then decided to just go for it and stepped inside.
Other women were sitting in chairs or on the floor. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but the class was mostly women with a few men around.
A woman with curly hair rose from a floor mat and waved me closer. “Come in.”
My skin burned. I glanced around and realized everyone knew each other. No one seemed sinful. I tensed. “I never meditated before.”
She pointed me to a chair. “Well, we all just want peace. You’re welcome to join us.”
My father and Bob would both have commanded me to leave. Arman wouldn’t. This was my choice. I decided to take the chair offered.
The curly-haired woman said her name was Charity and then told us to close our eyes. At first, I just listened to her voice, but Bob’s angry shouting vibrated in my ears. I flinched.
When Charity said to close the door and look up to the heavens, though, I shut out Bob’s memory. Then my shoulders were lighter. I controlled my breathing, and this time, it wasn’t just darkness I saw in my mind.
Charity guided us to take a shower in the clouds surrounded by angels. And then I let her lead me in my mind. Next thing I knew, she said to wiggle our toes and count backward.
The class was over. I didn’t feel evil. In fact, I was lighter. I waited to experience peace and opened my eyes.
The others all packed up to go about their day as I collected my thoughts. Nothing about finding inner peace seemed bad at all. If I made the choices from now on, I’d be better off.
It gave me hope that maybe I’d figure out how to please Arman and not just let our relationship consist of him giving me everything. Anything was possible, but I needed to get my life on track. I’d have to prove I could do that if I ever wanted to let myself really believe Arman.
As the lobby’s side room was nearly empty, I approached Charity. “This was nice. Thank you for the experience.”
She handed me a postcard. “We have a weekly meeting. If you want to do this again, come next week, same time.”
If I stay here that long… I shook that thought out. “I… I will.”
“Great.” She carried her mat out of the room.
I didn’t want a coffee that morning on my walk to work. People were rushing past me, but I kept my face up toward the clouds. Soon, I’d see Arman again, and then I’d have to face my question of the last few days: Does he love me because he wants to rescue me, or does he love me because of who I am?
I made it to the office and past other employees. When I got to my desk, Arman popped out of his office and said, “You look peaceful.”
I felt a jolt. I hadn’t seen him since the morning after he’d left my bed, and he hadn’t called. I put my hand on my desk to feel something solid under my palm. “You’re back from your trip.”
He walked closer, and I wondered if he’d kiss me. “We finished early, and I hurried home. I heard you have a meeting with Joel and Kendal.”
My knees knocked as he stood closer, and I longed for his touch. I tried to sound reasonable. “I do. Do you want to join us?” I half wanted to take my words back. But if I ignored him, I would never know if I could please him.
He said, “Sounds good.” He reached out and brushed my arm. “How’s Aurora?”
I glanced toward the rest of the office and wondered if I’d been branded as his. I couldn’t be. I shrugged his hand off my arm just in case. “She’s working hard to put herself out there. It’s noble, really.”
He smiled, completely unfazed. “I can’t wait to see her play.”
I glanced at the clock. No time for an email check. I straightened my shoulders and pointed to the door. “You want to go to that play?”
“Sure.” He walked out with me.
If I could talk to him alone, maybe I could figure out how to ask him why he’d said he loved me. We made it to the elevator, and once the doors closed, I said, “You know, Aurora will be okay with just me.”
He stared do
wn his nose. “You don’t want me to go?”
I massaged the back of my head. We hit the lobby level too fast, but I ignored my racing heart and said, “No. I do. She’d want you there, but you don’t have to rescue us.”
Maybe he’ll spill it on his own.
He offered his arm, and I tentatively took it as we walked. He said, “Your daughter and you treat me like I’m part of the team and not just rich and entitled to whatever I want.”
Once we made the street, the question was still on my tongue, but I couldn’t ask it. If he convinced me he loved me, so what? I wasn’t ready for him. I wasn’t worthy of him. And I wasn’t exactly ready to always feel that joy I’d felt in his arms.
We headed to the private museum of an old mansion owned by a business titan more than a century earlier. Inside, there was a fountain and a restful spot.
Arman pointed. “There’s Joel and Kendal.”
I’d lost my chance. Maybe that was good. I hugged the bride and went right into work mode. “So, now that we have this venue secured, I wanted to walk you both through the layout and get your input.”
We walked outside to a veranda with a private view of Central Park. There were trees and privacy, and enjoying nature was built into the design. I pointed behind us. “The house can host the wedding if the weather gets in the way.”
Kendal nodded. “That’s perfect. It’s gorgeous, and so is this view.”
A happy bride meant I was doing my job well. However, I went into seller mode in case her husband wasn’t convinced. “Private but with Central Park as a backdrop.”
Joel looked like he was sold. Good.
Kendal asked, “What kind of wedding would you want for yourself, Maddie?”
My throat was tight. I glanced at Arman and imagined a life on the beach, near the cave, as I walked toward him in a white dress. He could never know that thought. I wasn’t free to love him back. With my gaze down, I said, “The beach. I’d like it low-key, and I love the feeling of sand under my feet.”
Kendal winked. “Are we invited?”
I didn’t want to know what she thought. Arman and I were not on that path. I tried to explain. “We’re not…” My face felt hot. I needed to get my life together. I changed course. “Today is about you two. So, we’d have the ceremony here then move guests into the house for cocktail hour while the team sets up dinner and dancing under the stars.” We walked inside the museum room that had once been a ballroom. “But in case of bad weather, the ballroom can be used instead while the guests have cocktails near the fountain room.”
Joel said, “This is looking incredible, Maddie.”
Perfect. I had verbal confirmation from both parties. I glanced at Arman and waved. “I should get going. Feel free to stay and enjoy the dinner at the restaurant next door. Let me know if there’s anything you truly want to add to the menu once you taste what the chef can do.”
Joel hugged his wife’s side. “We will.”
Arman said goodbye. I heard him behind me, so I slowed down. We left together, but I decided that I wouldn’t ask him my burning question. I’d have to figure out the answer myself, but I couldn’t move on until I sorted out my feelings and saw my own value.
He said, “Maddie, need a ride?”
I wished I were strong enough to explain the issue to him. I shook my head. “No. I’ll see you back at the office. I have a stop to make.”
He nodded. “See you then.”
“Bye.” I kissed his cheek. He deserved someone capable of kissing him on the mouth and not caring what anyone thought, and I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. We probably had no future.
Arman
When Maddie returned to her desk, she typed up my schedule and the wedding-guest list. As I was paying mostly for the clients, whoever else Joel and Kendal invited didn’t matter. It was nice to see my entire family on the list. I approved it without reading too much and sent it back.
The time on my wristwatch hit five o’clock, and I stood. It was time to go. I’d been summoned to my mother’s house. Maddie had agreed to go, too, via the family group-text chat she was now part of, so Mom’s chef was going to prepare extra food.
As I stepped out, I stopped at her desk, which smelled like the new floral perfume she was wearing that day. “Ready to go?”
She pivoted her chair and bounced up to join me. “Absolutely. I’m excited to try new food.”
Maddie was beautiful, talented, and so different from when I’d laid eyes on her after not seeing her for so long. We strolled out of the office, and I said, “Aurora’s already there.”
I waited for her to get into the elevator and then joined her.
“Your mom said the chef was the same person who cooks for you, but now that I look at the building, I realize your parents live so close to you. I hadn’t realized. I don’t think I ever came here. I just went to your beach house.”
Interesting. She hadn’t said a word in the lobby of the office building, but as we headed onto the street, she almost babbled. I wondered if she was nervous and offered her my hand to hold. “Well, let’s head through the park.”
She blinked as if she needed to think before she accepted. Then she took my hand. Neither of us said much as we made it to Central Park then walked across to my parents’ place instead of home.
At the crosswalk, she said, “I knew you lived in Manhattan and had money, and logically, I get that you’re secure, but sometimes, I forget how impressive your last name must be.”
“Don’t stress about anyone in my family.” The people who lived at our addresses did well for themselves. Maddie was probably shy about that. “My parents already adore you and have for years.”
She shrugged. She had no idea how easily she fit in my life. I wasn’t sure how to show her that.
We walked through the door, and the butler offered us wine. We headed into the formal dining hall with enough room for us even if we all had wives and gave Roxanne four grandchildren apiece, as she’d once calculated. Aurora was already with my mother. She waved at us.
We headed toward her, but my brother stepped in front of us.
I said, “Hey, Cyrus. What’s going on?”
He glanced at the ceiling. “I found another dance competition to focus on, but I need to find a partner.”
Maddie said, “Dancing with another woman probably isn’t going to win over Leah.”
“I was trying not to talk about Leah. She isn’t talking to me and refuses to answer calls, returns gifts I send, and wants to pretend I don’t exist.”
“Sorry for bringing it up,” she said.
Good. At least she’s comfortable here. I needed her to relax. She seemed tense since I’d returned from my trip.
My brother shrugged. “Not your fault. I need to find a way to break through to her, and I don’t think that’s a lawsuit like Jeff recommends.”
Jeff was twenty-four and had just finished law school, so he had no idea about the consequences of life choices like that. I said, “A lawsuit is a bad idea.”
Cyrus sipped his wine. “My life is a mess. I’m glad to see the two of you are happy and together now.”
He took a step out of our way so we could go, but Maddie’s face turned red, and she said, “We’re not—”
“It’s complicated, Cyrus,” I interrupted. I wanted the conversation to end fast. Maddie was already skittish.
She stepped back. “Aurora and I should probably go.”
My mother then butted in and motioned toward her skirt and the walls like she was waving off all concerns. “Don’t be silly. My boys won’t harass you anymore with questions. Enjoy your meal.”
I usually hated when my mom said something like that, but that night was an exception. Maddie had almost run.
Aurora joined us and hugged her mother. Before Maddie ordered her daughter to do anything, I said, “My mom’s right. It’s no one’s business what you decide.”
She stared at me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. Then she said, �
�Thanks, Arman,” and followed my mom to the table.
Once we were seated, Jeff said, “Maddie, I brought the final custody arrangement for you to see.”
She tensed but opened the envelope. Tears came out of her eyes. “Bob gave up all rights. Thank you.”
Aurora said, “I never have to see him again?”
“Not unless you choose to go find him.” She gave the paper to Aurora, who hugged her.
Her happiness made me happy. I had to convince her that she needed to stay with me. She was mine, even if she wasn’t ready to accept that fact yet.
Chapter Sixteen
Arman
At work, I still commanded a small business empire. All the parts fit together, and I knew how to handle the business. Joel was good at running the technical side. Kendal was excellent at keeping signed clients on board with her hand-holding, and I found the talent and the acquisitions to make everything fit. We knew how to work together without speaking.
The same wasn’t true with Maddie. I sat in my office and looked out the open door. The workday was almost over, and Maddie was at her desk, talking to DJs who could play both country and punk rock and mix the genres for a romantic wedding. From her smile, it seemed she’d tracked down someone who’d given her the answers she wanted.
I finished signing a contract for an RPG created by high school kids in Kentucky. They’d been sold on the continued royalties that I offered instead of a one-time payout. If the game was successful, as I thought it would be, then they would get royalties for life. If it wasn’t successful, then I didn’t have to pay much to them and could focus on advertising. Most gaming companies only paid the one-time fee, so the deal worked for both of us.
I closed my computer. My palms were sweating. I wasn’t sure how to move my relationship with Maddie to a deeper level. The night before, she hadn’t wanted to talk.
I swallowed my pride and reminded myself that she needed time. “You’re doing a great job.”
She stood and turned off her computer. “You tell everyone at the office that all the time.”
Honey Bun: Virgin Cove Trillionaire Single Brothers Page 13
