Compliments had never been my thing. My last assistant had called me “uncompromising.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and shook my head. “No, I don’t.”
She walked beside me toward the elevator. “Okay, not with those exact words, but you make people feel valued. Especially me.”
I didn’t believe her, but that was a nice thing to say. I summoned the elevator. “You must bring that out in me.”
The doors opened for us, and she breezed in like nothing was a problem. “I think it’s part of why you’re successful and has nothing to do with me.”
The doors closed. We weren’t alone, so I fixed my tie and waited till we were at the bottom. Once the others had left and we headed onto the street, I asked, “Instead of going home, I was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date.”
She tilted her head and looked at me sympathetically like I was a teenage boy used to getting rejected. “No. I’d rather for us to go back to your apartment where we can be… alone.”
I had no instructions or how-to guide for giving Maddie space and winning her heart, but I would devour any clues she could give me. And being alone with her was fun, but we probably wouldn’t talk much. We needed more togetherness without rushing into intimacy.
We walked toward the park, and I glanced at the horse-drawn carriages. For a second, I wanted to impress her and take her on a date despite her objections. Instead, I said, “We’re taking it day by day, but dinner isn’t a lifelong commitment.”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know.”
At least it wasn’t a complete rejection. I placed my hand on her lower back and thought about sitting and laughing like we used to do. “We don’t get a lot of one-on-one time, and I want to talk.”
She took my hand and tugged me toward our building. “We can do both.”
Heat started rushing through me. I wasn’t used to hearing no. All my life, everyone had said yes. I walked with her. “Maddie, we… I… am not just a one-trick pony for you.”
Her brow furrowed, and she looked upset. “Of course not. I thought you wanted me.”
And my anger evaporated. I would never hurt her. But I wanted more than sex. We walked to my apartment, and the moment the door closed, I said, “Let’s relax. What do you want to eat?”
She curved her hands around my shoulders. “Later… I want this.” She pressed her lips against mine and kissed me.
She was hot, delicious, and mine, but I wondered if she was becoming addicted to sex. Or maybe she was just addicted to me. I tasted her as she unbuttoned my shirt. Then she lowered herself, placing small kisses on my exposed skin.
She’d grown bold since the first time we’d made love, but I wasn’t sure that was what she thought we were doing. She unbuckled my pants, and my body grew warm. Fuck.
She knew how to rev me up. I was hard. She licked my dick and kissed the tip. I grew harder. Then she sucked me inside her mouth. I wanted to explode inside her, but I knew this wasn’t the way to her heart.
My muscles tensed, but I tugged my cock out. “I… stop.”
Maddie sucked on her bottom lip as she went to stand. “Was I doing it wrong?”
If only it were that simple. I caressed her cheek, wishing we were on the same page. “No, it was good, but I can’t do this.”
“Why? I mean… you were getting hard.”
I was pretty sure it was the first time she’d ever discussed sex, but that wasn’t how I wanted to be with her. I didn’t want to hear her start talking dirty yet, because there was a gaping hole in my heart. I squeezed my eyes shut, ignoring the pulsing in my veins that screamed for me to take her. “I mean… I can’t just have sex with you. I love you, and I can’t pretend I don’t.”
Tears formed in her eyes. She glanced out the window, and her cheeks grew wet. Then she gazed back at me. “I don’t know what to do to please you, Arman. You’re almost as important to me as my daughter.”
She loved Aurora. I hoped she loved me too. I hugged her. “Don’t cry, Maddie.”
She curled into me, and I held her. It was nice and almost felt like she loved me. I kissed her cheek, and she trembled. Then I claimed her lips, and she held me. I picked her up with an arm under her knees while kissing her and brought her to bed. If she wanted me, I would do anything for her.
As I laid her down, I unbuttoned her shirt. She tugged it off, along with her bra, and then let me suck her nipples. She tasted sweet. I removed her pants and panties then my own. She felt like she was ready.
I grabbed a condom and pushed inside her warm center. I felt like I’d found my other half. I set the pace, and her eyes rolled back. Lost in her orgasm, she didn’t say much as I sped up. Her reddened face urged me on, and I found my release as well.
As I collapsed onto the bed beside her, I wasn’t sure if my ears heard or I just imagined Maddie whisper, “I love you.”
I hoped it was real, but I didn’t ask. If I’d made it up, then I was heading for a major fall.
Maddie
I’d whispered the truth. I hoped Arman hadn’t heard me. The last person I would ever hurt was him. But I couldn’t promise more if I knew for sure that I was incapable of giving him what he needed.
My heart raced, which woke me up fast, though he still dozed. I sat up. I had to do something nice for him. I needed to apologize. In trying to keep my feelings out of our relationship, it was clear as sunshine on a sunny day that I’d hurt him. I’d never intended to break his heart while protecting my own.
As Aurora and Roxanne had plans, we had plenty of time. I tossed his T-shirt on and walked barefoot through the penthouse as day faded to night in a pretty red color.
I found ingredients for chicken and pasta. In my old life, this would have been a feast, but I was sure it was too simple for the man in his bedroom. I fried the chicken and boiled water. When the noodles cooked, I heard his footsteps. I glanced at the sky and hoped he would accept my apology.
He walked in, and before he could ask, I pointed to the oven. “So, I’m cooking dinner.”
He looked sexy as fuck in those blue cotton pajama pants, and his muscles were all on display. My heart whispered that he was mine.
He said, “You are?”
Unlike him, I was broken, and I wasn’t what he needed. I tensed and forged ahead. “You said you wanted to talk, and since Aurora will be home soon, I figured we can do that over a small dinner that doesn’t need time to arrive.”
He laughed and came closer. My pulse quickened as he kissed my cheek. “I don’t remember the last time I ate home cooking.”
My gut twisted. I wasn’t sure I should apologize. I felt bad, but nothing had changed. I was inadequate at giving him the same pleasure he gave me, and he deserved far better. “I’m not the best chef. I just thought it was easier this way if we… talk as you wanted. So, what was it you wanted to talk over dinner about?”
If I focused on him, we’d be fine, and I could stop this tension in me that wanted to scream.
He stepped back. “Want a glass of wine?”
“Yes. That sounds great.”
He opened the refrigerator and found a sauvignon blanc, my new favorite. He poured for us and handed me a glass. “So, here’s to new beginnings.”
We clinked glasses. Maybe he knew. I ignored my tension and forced myself to talk. “I spoke to Jeff about why it took him so long, and he said he wanted to be clear that Bob wasn’t ever going to try to fight me later. The divorce was simple since I didn’t want anything, but custody can be altered, and he didn’t want the courts ever granting Bob rights. I can’t lose my daughter, and honestly, it’s been one of my fears that Bob might show up and destroy this life we’ve just started to enjoy.”
I’d said his name, and I hadn’t exploded. I’d been afraid of my ex’s name, as though if I said it, he’d just show up.
Arman smiled. “So you like being in Manhattan?”
I let out a breath. He hadn’t even noticed my fear. I sipped the wine. �
�I am enjoying planning this wedding.”
He took out silverware, and I grabbed the plates, and we set the table together. “Good. You always had ideas on how to bring people together while having fun.”
We had a synchronicity and a common desire. I shook my head and told myself we weren’t anything. “That’s not a talent.”
He stopped and stared down at me. “You do better than the professionals I’ve hired.”
Planning parties and activities while keeping adults entertained wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t that different from planning for teenagers. “Yeah?”
He came closer, and my muscles tensed. “I can show you receipts, but that wouldn’t convince you.”
Heat rose in my face. “I don’t need receipts.” I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But he didn’t need to be nice either. The timer chimed. I stepped back. “Dinner is done.”
He followed me into the kitchen. I opened the oven door but realized I’d forgotten my oven mitts. I turned and saw he’d already put them on. He reached in and took out the pan. “This looks pretty good.”
I placed the pad down between us so as not to ruin his table. He then put the pot on it. I said, “Well, it’s not your mom’s lamb stew.”
He winked. “Ghormeh sabzi is one of my favorites, but I only get it these days when I’m visiting her.”
That wasn’t fair. He was so perfect. I needed to do more nice things for him. We took our seats, and I said, “I’ll ask her for the recipe. You shouldn’t have to eat your favorite food only when visiting parents.”
We sipped our wine and waited for the food to cool. No words were said, but I was okay. Then my phone rang, and I ran and grabbed it.
Arman called behind me, “That must be Aurora.”
I walked back to the table and waved for him to stand up. “I’ll invite her up here if that’s okay.”
“Sounds nice.” He rushed into his bedroom with me. We had to get dressed before my daughter saw us.
I vowed to myself to find more things to do for Arman. It wasn’t fair how much he’d helped me already. If I couldn’t give him the ultimate pleasure he gave me, there were other ways to help him be happy, and I was determined to find them.
Arman
Maddie in my kitchen, cooking, was almost like a dream come true. She’d been sweet to cook for me.
She was in the bathroom when the bell rang, so I headed to the door to let her daughter in. Aurora had a kind nature that showed in her bright smile. She reminded me of what Maddie had looked like as a teenager.
I closed the door. “So, how was the play?”
She dropped her backpack at the door and walked in with me as the water from her mother’s shower cut off. “The actress playing Antonia had to drop out, as her parents are moving her to Paris for the semester.”
Don Quixote’s niece who’s trying to tell him he’s normal and not chasing windmills. I shrugged. “At least she’s not sick.”
Aurora sucked in her breath. “True, and the director asked me to take the part, which means I’m now speaking a little.”
My eyes widened. Aurora was smart, and she’d never once struck me as shy. With me, she’d always been confident, and from all accounts, her schooling was going well. “That’s great.”
The bedroom door opened. Maddie rushed toward us, and we headed into the sitting area. Aurora lowered her head. “I’m terrified to fail.”
I patted her shoulder. “You won’t. You’re as strong as your mom.”
Maddie called out behind us, “I’m not strong.”
And that wasn’t something I could fix. How she saw herself mattered. I rubbed my head. I couldn’t imagine not believing in myself.
Aurora smirked. “So what was wrong with our shower downstairs, Mom?”
Maddie turned and rushed into the kitchen. “Nothing. We were working, and I was cooking, so I hopped into Arman’s shower.”
Aurora and I followed her. She said to Maddie, “Because you’re—”
“Working together,” I answered from behind. Maddie was red-faced. I needed to back off, and so did her daughter. “Don’t push your mom.”
Aurora rocked on her feet. “Maybe she needs to see that her life is great here with you.”
I’d been pushy, and if she had this at home with Aurora, too, Maddie might never find peace.
Maddie crossed her arms. “Aurora!”
I grabbed the extra plate for the table. The silence between the two of them spoke volumes. As I left the kitchen, Aurora said, “Fine. Let’s just eat. Grandma Roxanne’s promised to run lines with me tomorrow if that’s okay, so I’ll be home late.”
Their voices grew stronger, and I knew they were coming to join me. I wished I could back off with Maddie to give her time to sort out her feelings. Pushing made me weak, though I loved her and hoped she loved me too.
Maddie took her seat beside me as she said to her daughter, “That sounds nice. If you ever need my help…”
I put food on their plates. “Or mine.”
“Thank you,” Aurora said as I finished making her plate, and Maddie smiled at me. “I need to be happy and do this play without you hovering, Mom.” Maddie flinched, but Aurora continued. “I love you, but we spent a lot of time not letting anyone in, and I’m hoping that starts to change for both of us.”
I thought of these two as my family. Hoping to break the tension, I said, “I have leftover cake in the refrigerator for when we finish this meal.”
Waiting was impossible for me. I wished every day of my life I could wake up beside Maddie and help guide Aurora, but the love in my heart wasn’t enough. I had to figure out what I needed to do next fast.
Chapter Seventeen
Arman
Maddie texted that she’d have to leave work, as Aurora had left her lunch at home. She wanted to run home and then deliver it. I texted her not to stress and said I would take care of it. Then I ordered food on my phone that was ready in half an hour. I sent her the picture, and her thumbs-up made me smile in the middle of my business meeting.
After my call, I left work and walked the lunch to Aurora’s school as Maddie worked on Kendal and Joel’s wedding celebration. When I walked back in, I nodded to let her know I’d taken care of it.
She hopped out of her chair. “Thanks for going to drop off Maddie’s lunch. I put it in her bag, but she took it out.”
“It was fun to work as a team.” I would do anything for either one of them. I stopped in my tracks, wanting to ask her if she’d go out to dinner with me. My heart pounded. I tried to be professional instead. “I was happy to help, as you were clearly dealing with a wedding snag. Why were you late today?”
She glanced at her desk and moved her pen. “I was at a meditation session. I’m thinking of going to this center for change for some of the group therapy and yoga classes too.”
Therapy was a good idea. I squeezed her hand. “That sounds great.”
She let out a sigh. “It might be helpful. I’ve been liking the meditation.” She took her hand back.
“We have some meditation apps that could use a good review, if you want to join in the weekly meetings on those games too.”
Her eyes narrowed. “There are meditation games?”
I nodded. More and more people were turning toward their consoles for all sorts of things, including exercise and meditation. “And surprisingly, they make money.”
She sucked on her lip. “That’s cool.”
It was time to go to work, but I didn’t want to leave her side. I squared my shoulders and decided to ask her what I wanted. “So, I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me after work.”
She rocked back and forth, and her face went white. I was sure she would tell me no, but she gulped. “I… okay. That sounds exactly like what we need. Tonight, then.”
My pulse sped up. Finally. I felt like I’d won. I tapped her desk. “I’ll talk soon. Time to go to work.”
I headed back into my office to review the budget-meeting notes. T
hen Joel, the accountants, and I all sat in on a meeting. Afterward, I organized the changes we’d agreed on, as Joel had to go to a tuxedo fitting.
Hours ticked by, and I didn’t have a moment to call a restaurant. At three, my phone rang, and I recognized Cyrus’s number. He immediately said, “Arman, just got off the phone with Pedar. He wants to talk about his will.”
I crossed my arms. “Why?”
“Some of our adopted brothers don’t believe they are in it, so he’s getting copies made for everyone.”
“Is he sick and not telling us?”
“I asked the same question, and he denied it. Then he promised to get a full physical, so I believe him.”
Cyrus was Pedar’s doctor. I nodded. “Good. How are you?”
“Setting up a three-month leave at the hospital so my life can stop being in limbo and I have time to sort everything out.”
“Sounds more like you. The man with a plan.”
“So, how’s everything going with Maddie?”
An email about a contract snag appeared, marked urgent. My shoulders tensed. “We’re going out tonight, not that I made a reservation yet.” We would have to go wherever they had space for us.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m happy to hear you’re falling in love.”
I massaged my brow. “It’s just—” I heard his name called out by a nurse over a speaker.
Cyrus quickly said, “Got to go. I’m being paged.”
“Good luck.”
I focused on the urgent email and realized a subcontractor hadn’t delivered. I forwarded the problem to a manager to take care of and returned to the monthly accounting report. We were exceeding profitability and would either split our stock shares and pay a dividend or invest in more risky games. I felt we needed to do both, and I wrote a proposal on a few games that seemed risky at first glance but had a user experience that would keep gamers interested in the long term.
My phone beeped, letting me know it was time to go, so I finished the last email with the proposal to Joel and the accounting team. Maddie knocked on my door, holding boxes from Bergdorf Goodman. She placed on one my desk and showed me one with her name on it. “So, what’s this?”
Honey Bun: Virgin Cove Trillionaire Single Brothers Page 14
