Fast (The Fast Series)

by Ringbloom, Ryan

  “Thank you.” She rests her head on her hands and looks down at me. The room is dark, but the moonlight coming from the windows gives me just enough light to make out the delicate features of her face. She’s gorgeous.

  “For hitting you with a pillow?” I smile.

  “No,” she says. And I understand.

  My phone hums away the quiet moment. I check the text.

  “Who was that?”

  “It was my brother. I let him know I was staying here tonight.”

  She laughs. “You know what he’s thinking we’re doing.”

  “Yup, he’s probably thinking I’m letting you paint my nails again, maybe letting you put my hair in curlers or something.”

  Ashley rolls into full blown belly laughs. “I’m dying. Curlers? How do you even know what curlers are?” she continues howling. “I forgot you let me paint your nails. I still can’t believe you let me do that, you hated me.”

  “Wasn’t it obvious at that point that I clearly did not hate you?”

  “Aw, was that the moment you fell in love with me?”

  I know she’s teasing me. I doubt if she understands how much I truly love her yet. Never mind for how long.

  “Well, Matthew thought it was funny. Actually, my whole family did when Kent told them at the dinner table that night.”

  “Your family is the best. Matthew. I just love him. I wish he was my little brother.” She spins back up in her bed and I can’t see her as she continues talking. “I always wished for a sibling. Guess it was best that I never got one. I was always so jealous of the people who were so lucky to have brothers or sisters,” she sighs. “Look who I’m telling, you’re like the best big brother ever.”

  This isn’t the first time I’ve heard that wish from her. The first time I heard it had changed me. “I had some help with that when I was younger. I almost missed out on something really great. I made a promise to someone and it was an easy one to keep.”

  She doesn’t say anything. What’s going through her mind? Is she remembering? What will her reaction be? I wait.

  “Patrick?” she whispers, peeking back over the bed.

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you ever read Harry Potter?”

  A broad smile stretches across my face. “Um, the first one.”

  “Only the first one? It was so good right? How come you only read the first one?”

  “It was good. I think I just kind of watched the movies instead of reading the rest of the books.”

  “The movies are good, but the books are so much better. I own them if you want to read them. Do you know Tessa has a crush on Daniel Radcliffe? Well, only when he’s dressed up as Harry Potter, she has a thing for guys in glasses. Don’t tell anyone I told you that,” she giggles.

  Now we’re gossiping about crushes. I might actually get curlers in my hair if I’m not careful.

  We discuss our favorite music, how much we both like peanut butter, our plans for college, the names Ashley likes for the six kids she wants to have, how many times I needed stitches when I was little, and if we like dogs or cats better.

  “This was the best night.” Ashley slides low enough over the side of her bed to give me a kiss.

  “What happened to scout’s honor?” I tease after kissing her.

  “I’m not a scout,” she laughs.

  “Well, I was and we take that honor very seriously.”

  “You were a Boy Scout?”

  It opens the door to a second round of topics lasting late into the night.

  The next morning I wake Ashley up to say goodbye. Her hands dart up to hide her make-up-less face. Hands over face, she walks me to the door, bumping into furniture along the way.

  There’s no sign of her mother as we walk through the house.

  “I think you look beautiful without make-up,” I say, meaning every word.

  “Ew, were you looking at me when I was sleeping? I told you not to,” she says through cupped hands, still refusing to let me catch a glimpse of her naked face.

  I hesitate. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “For the last time, yes. Trust me in a few hours she’ll wake up acting as if nothing happened. I’ve been dealing with this since I was a kid. Now stop looking at me and go. Don’t forget about the park later.”

  I have no choice but to kiss the back of her hands before leaving. I tell her I love her and she parts her hands just quick enough to say it back to me.

  Kent

  My eyes glaze over listening to Ashley recount the magical tale of her and Patrick for the millionth time. She has the attention of the entire lunch table as she ends the account with the same line she does every time.

  “Oh, and supposedly we met when we were younger and I don’t remember and he saved my gum wrapper. Which I know is really creepy, I told him that, but it’s also really romantic.”

  Bored, I look around the table, of course my eyes land on Robin. She rolls her eyes and smiles at me. I catch her smile and shake my head knowingly at our shared feelings towards Ashley’s romantic narrative.

  She turns her head away, but I can’t stop looking at her. The knowing looks across the table and being able to read each other’s minds. I miss that. How could I have let things get so bad between us? It’s my fault, and I’m prepared to take all the blame. I miss her, I love her, and I want to get back together with her. An apology, a funny made up song and it will all work out. We can get it right this time.

  As I’m staring at Robin I feel a pair of eyes doing the same thing to me. Megan’s eyes travel away from me, over to Robin, then down at the table. Her eyebrows are pinched together as she twists the cap on her water bottle distractedly.

  Robin excuses herself and walks over to Billy’s table. She bends down to the scratch the same itch from last time. I turn away. No need to torture myself again, soon enough we’ll be back together.

  Megan meets up with me in the hall after lunch. She’s out of breath, as if she ran to catch up to me. “I hate being the one to tell you this, but Robin and Billy are kind of a thing now.”

  It’s a slow-motion punch in the gut. Every muscle in my body constricts, including my heart.

  Robin moved on? So, we wouldn’t be getting back together? Maybe Megan’s lying.

  “You okay?” Megan asks.

  “Yeah, I figured they were together,” I’m able to reply.

  The rest of the day it’s all I can think about.

  Straight from practice I drive home and knock on Robin’s door. I need to hear it from Robin before I’ll believe anything.

  “I’m sorry,” I say to her when she answers the door.

  “For what?” She seems cautious, not inviting me inside.

  “For everything, starting with the Ashley thing, not taking you places, moving too fast, coming over every night, not being a better boyfriend. I’m sorry for it all.” I blurt out in her doorway.

  “It wasn’t all your fault.” She softens. “I made lots of mistakes. So, I’m sorry too.”

  I relax, that was so much easier than I thought. “I missed you.”

  “Me too.” She smiles.

  “I want us back together. We’ll do things right this time, I promise.” I reach for her hand, but she doesn’t give it to me.

  The softness vanishes and the caution returns to her face. “I miss our friendship too, but I don’t want to get back together,” she says.

  “Are you seeing someone? Is it Billy?”

  “Kent, don’t do this.”

  Megan was right. She is with someone else now. I lost her. The thought of her with someone else is too much to bear. Images going through my head are tearing me up. I erupt. “So, I’m guessing you guys are doing all the stuff we did. Is he coming to your room at night Robin? Is your bed not as small anymore?”

  “How dare you.” Robin backs away ready to slam the door.

  This is going all wrong, that’s not what I wanted to say. I stop the door with my hands and push it back open. “I’m sorr
y.”

  She ignores my apology. Her body shakes and her voice trembles. “You need to leave.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say again and look up at her. “It’s just … we’re really over?”

  Robin nods. “But I want us to be friends.”

  I click my teeth shaking my head no. Not possible, I can’t go back to being just her friend. How would something like that even work? It wouldn’t.

  “No, I can’t.”

  “You can’t be my friend?” The question is filled with sadness. Her blue eyes are glassy, filled with tears. “Why is that, Kent? Tell me, why can’t we be friends?”

  “Have you kissed him?”

  She’s silent.

  “There’s your answer, Robin,” I say before walking away.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The day we met…

  “That’s why you’re sad? Because your mom is having a baby?” The girl looked horrified by my declaration. “You hate the baby? What’s wrong with you?”

  “You don’t understand, my mom cried and everything. I heard her.” I tried to plead my case.

  “So what, she’ll get over it. I mean it’s a baby. Babies are good things, you moron. Do you know what I would do if my mom was having a baby?” She threw her hands over her head dramatically. “I would be the happiest person on earth. I would hug and kiss the baby, I would change diapers, I would take it for walks, I would babysit, and most of all, I would have someone and I wouldn’t be all by myself all the time.” She smacked her palm against her forehead. “Oh my God, I wish that was my problem, so bad. You have no idea how lucky you are.”

  The tears started to flow again.

  I knew I should probably do something because she was a girl and she was crying. I squatted down and put an arm around her shoulders. One hard shove with her elbow and I went down with thud.

  “Get your hands off of me you stupid, no muscles, baby hater. That’s the stupidest reason for being sad…ever.”

  I dusted the dirt from my shorts and sat back up. “Oh yeah, well if I’m stupid for being sad about the baby, what are you sad about? I bet it’s stupid too.”

  She pulled on a strand of hair and twisted. “I’m not telling you, but if I did you would feel real bad you said that. ’Cause it’s not stupid.”

  “If you’re not gonna tell me, then I know it’s stupid.” I took a confident breath, a smug smile planted across my face. I won. She probably was sad because of some girl thing, like her mom wouldn’t let her wear nail polish or something.

  “I don’t have a dad anymore,” she said.

  Patrick

  I’m sweating as I put the new book Ashley gave me down again. It’s her latest favorite, a best seller flying off the shelves.

  What the hell is she doing to me? I’m at a loss reading one shocking erotic detail after another. She told me not to get any ideas, but on the page I just read, she’s circled something and made a note - This might be fun. She drew little hearts all over the page and wrote I love you. I let myself try and picture the two of us acting out the scene.

  Shit. Reading time is over.

  I go downstairs to wait for my smut pedaling girlfriend. Ashley has become the new regular at dinner. My mom loves having another female at the table again. Being outnumbered in the house, she craves the girl talk.

  Robin had always been on the quiet side. This is not the case with Ashley. She talks nonstop. The useless girl things she knows about shoes, hair, make-up, celebrities is endless. My mom is in heaven.

  After dinner, I take her to the back room where we can be alone. While she has given me a sexy novel to read, I am giving her something of a completely different nature to read. Information on treatment centers for alcoholism and family counseling.

  Ashley skims the first paper and places it down. “She won’t do this, I’ve asked her before. She doesn’t want help.”

  I sift through the papers and pull one out handing it to her. “This one is for you. They will help you, to help her. They will also counsel you with any issues you may need help with.”

  “This is why I didn’t want you to meet my mom.” The hair twisting starts. “Patrick, there’s a lot of things in my life that I learned to forget about. I’m not gonna go back and think about those things again, my parents, the fighting, the cheating, my dad. I learned the best way to deal with it was by not dealing with it.”

  “How did that work out for you, Ashley?”

  “You know how it worked out. But that was before you. I just needed you, now I’m okay. I’m over it. I’m better now,” she cries. More twisting. “You fixed me. I have you now.”

  I was prepared for her to fight, but the despair in her plea is tearing at my heart. I take her hand, gently unraveling the hair from her finger. “You need more than me. But I’ll be there with you the whole way. You won’t have to do it alone.”

  Ashley climbs into my lap. She curls herself up and clings to me desperately. “I don’t want to lose you, you can’t leave.”

  “I won’t. I promise. We’ll do it all step by step.”

  “Great, more steps.” She tries to give me a smile.

  I hug her protectively. “We’re going to forget about the other steps for now and focus on these ones.”

  “We can’t. If I don’t do those things, you’ll find someone who will. You’ll want more. You’ll leave, I know it.”

  “How can I convince you that I won’t leave?” I ask. My fingers comb softly through her hair trying to soothe her.

  “You can’t,” she whispers into my chest.

  Kent

  Megan leans in and kisses me. The kiss is okay and I go in for a second one. She repositions herself, leaning back, letting me know she’s okay with more.

  This time I pull away. Am I doing this because I like this girl or to get back at Robin?

  “Sorry, is this weird for you?” she asks.

  “Yeah,” I admit.

  “Because of Robin?”

  “Yes. I’m not over her. I know she’s with someone now and we’re not getting back together, but that doesn’t make this right.”

  “Well, at least you’re honest,” Megan sighs.

  I bring Megan home; it’s better to end it before it starts rather than hurt someone else. I’m learning.

  Robin has switched lunch tables and now sits with Billy. She drives to school with Patrick and even changed her seat in our classes together. It’s painfully over. I can’t even look at her house as I pull up to my own.

  Mom meets me at the door as I walk in the house. She’s home and she’s waiting for me. I’m scared. “Can you come with me? I want to talk to you and your brother about a few things.”

  Something’s up, and I’m afraid to find out what it is. Whatever this is, I can tell it’s not good.

  We stand outside Patrick’s room and she knocks on the door. I’m still not sure what’s going on, but the baffled look on Patrick’s face shows he doesn’t either. A queasy feeling starts in my gut as I sit down on the bed next to my brother, it feels like we’re little kids again, about to get in trouble.

  She paces the length of the room twice, wiping her nose with a crumpled tissue, before facing us. “Okay,” she takes a deep breath in and exhales. “It’s time we talk about sex.”

  “Oh my God, mom, no, na-ah.” Patrick shakes his head and stands up.

  “Mom, are you kidding? No way, nope, not doing this.” I get up too.

  “Sit down,” she warns. “What’s the matter? You two are mature enough to have sex, but you can’t talk about it?”

  We both groan sitting back down. A traumatizing sex talk from Mom. Awesome.

  “I’m not having sex.” I’m not exactly lying, sure I had, but I wasn’t currently.

  “Me either,” Patrick says. Not sure I believe that.

  “Listen, I don’t need to know the details.” She points at me. “I know that you spent months sneaking across the street even though I asked you not to.”

  I hang my head guilt
ily, she knew the whole time. We were so good at sneaking, or at least I thought we were. Robin would die if she ever found out.

  “And you, mister.” She redirects her attention to Patrick. She takes a book off his dresser and holds it up. “Can you explain this to me?”

  Patrick’s mouth drops and his face pales. “It’s just a book Mom. It doesn’t mean I’m doing anything.”

  “Really? Not even this?” She holds up a page with writing and hearts doodled all over it. I can’t make out what it says, but I bite back a smile knowing it’s probably something awful.

  Patrick doesn’t say anything and Mom continues. “I’m just nervous. You guys know your father and I weren’t exactly the best planners. We had you.” Her eyes land on me and then over to Patrick. “Then I blinked and I was pregnant with you. Then I thought we were being careful and ten years later, Matthew came along. So, I just want to make sure you guys are being smart. I want to make sure you’re treating these girls right, and with respect.” She looks back at me. “I notice Robin and you don’t see much of each other anymore. Robin is like family to us Kent, did something happen?”

  Her eyebrows are raised, waiting for my answer, like she already has an idea of what happened.

  I can’t talk to Mom about stuff like this. I could never tell her yes I had sex, and yes I may not have treated Robin with as much respect as I should have. As bad as I want to ask her, what do I do now Mom?

  “No, nothing happened.” I stare up at the ceiling.

  “I get it,” Mom says. “It’s not easy to talk with your mom about these things. Remember you can go to your dad, too. He’s a man, and he can talk to you about sex or other stuff.”

  More groans from both of us.

  She closes her eyes and exhales noisily, annoyed by our immaturity. “You can also go to each other and talk about things.” She gives us each one last look and we turn our heads away from her.

  On her way out, she walks over to Patrick’s closet and slips out his only two ties hanging on the back of the door. “Patrick, if you need these, to wear,” she emphasizes, “you can ask me for them.”