The Trouble With Eden

by Leslie Pike

  Now we’re all laughing.

  “Stop. You’re goin’ to ruin my makeup! I’m leavin’ you heathens.”

  But before he goes, he gives us one last look at his signature come hither look. He imitates himself.

  And he leaves us laughing.

  Jack looks at his watch.

  “Well, it should be happening right now.”

  “Or it’s already done. Let’s hope.”

  “How are you going to play it for her?” says Nicki.

  “I’m just going to take it to her place, and use her computer. I’m sure it’ll be a disc.”

  “If she lets you in.”

  “There’s always that possibility,” I say, and know it’s true.

  “Are you going to play it first, so you know what’s said?” Nicki asks.

  “No. I told Kiki to text me thumbs-up or thumbs-down. Nothing yet.”

  There’s another knock on the door.

  “Fifteen minutes to picture, Jack,” says the A.D.

  I get up, and head for the door.

  “See you on set. I’ll let you know if things go well.”

  The rest of the afternoon is taken up with the one scene. But there’re many takes, and three different camera angles. Finn and Jack do a great job of it. You’d swear Finn was on his last leg and that Jack was the inconsolable big brother. My stunt crew does their jobs without a hitch. And in the end, it’ll blend seamlessly together. Movie magic.

  About quarter to five, I get a text from Kiki. There’s four big thumbs up emoji’s, followed by three exclamation points. I guess Caprice talked.

  I let Jack and Nicki know the potential good news.

  The next hour and a half are torture. Finally, at six I get released, and I don’t stop to talk with anyone. I’m out of here. The stuntmen can find their own way home. One of the teamsters will bring them back to the hotel.

  I go to base camp, and retrieve the disc. Ed passes it to me like it’s a spy’s mission instructions. I expect it to disintegrate after we play it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the theme from “Mission Impossible” is playing.

  When I drive into the cottages entry, I’m relieved to see Bliss’ car. This is it, baby.

  I pull up, grab the disc and walk toward her door. She opens it, before I get a chance to knock. She must have seen me from her window.

  “What do you want?”

  “You’re going to listen to this.”

  I hold up the disc, and walk right past her into her cottage.

  “What the hell? Get your ass out of here.”

  She’s pissed. I don’t give a crap. I’m not giving her the option of throwing me out. Not before we listen, anyway. Fuck, this better be good.

  I go to her laptop sitting on the dining table, and insert the disc.

  “What’s this?” she says.

  “Just listen. It was recorded today in the makeup trailer. It’s Kiki and Coco and Caprice. I’m sure you’ll be able to identify them. I don’t know what was said either, but I think we’re both going to be enlightened.”

  It begins.

  Kiki: “Here she comes.”

  There’s a thirty second pause, and then we hear someone entering the trailer.

  Caprice: “Ciao girls.”

  Coco: “Hi, Caprice.”

  Kiki: “Hi. Here, sit here. I’ve got to put your makeup on first.”

  Caprice: “Fine. But make sure you don’t use that hideous lipstick you used last time. It felt like a cheap product, and I don’t like that.”

  Kiki: “Oh, ok. No, we’ll use the Tom Ford one you like.”

  There’s a few minutes of silence, except for the sounds of Kiki working on Caprice’s face.

  “What are we supposed to hear, here?” Bliss says.

  “Just wait. It’ll come.”

  Kiki: “Oh, Coco. I forgot to tell you, that bitch Bliss tried to get me to give her a free haircut.”

  Bliss is about to protest the validity of that story, but I put my finger to my lips to stop her.

  “Listen,” I whisper.

  Coco: “That doesn’t surprise me. Steven tried that same thing last week. I did it once, just to be nice, and now he’s really taking advantage.”

  Caprice: “Those two make me sick, with their lovey dovey bullshit.”

  “Kiki: “I know, right? They’re so stuck up. Both of them.” The three women laugh, in agreement.

  Kiki: “I could slip with the scissors, and take a chunk out of his hair!”

  Coco: “That would be awesome!”

  There’s a beat, and then it happens. Caprice steps into our trap.

  Caprice: “You’re thinking too small girls. And anyway, I’ve already handled them both.”

  I see Bliss look at me. She knows she’s about to be proven wrong.

  Kiki: “How’d you do that?”

  Caprice: “It was so simple, you wouldn’t believe. I once had a storia d’amore with a famous magician. He taught me that it was very easy to make someone look where you want them too, if you’re clever enough. Once they’re looking, you show them what you want them to see.”

  Coco: “I don’t get it. What did you do? Magic?”

  Caprice: “In a way. I made a love affair disappear.”

  She laughs as if she’s expecting applause for her play on words.

  Kiki: “How?”

  Caprice pauses, as if she’s considering her next confession. Smartly, neither Kiki nor Coco press her. They let her pick her moment. They know she won’t be able to keep quiet. She wants to brag about how clever she’s been.

  I’m holding my breath, and it looks as if Bliss is too. She reaches over and takes my hand. I don’t stop her.

  Caprice: “I had help.”

  Kiki: “Who?”

  Caprice: “You, darling.”

  There’s a nanosecond of silence. I’m sure Kiki’s acting surprised at the idea. In reality, she already knows that’s how Caprice got her information.

  Kiki: “What do you mean? I didn’t help you. I would have, but I wasn’t asked.”

  Caprice: “You did it without knowing. You were the one who told me about Bliss going to San Francisco that day. You told me she was trying to come back that same night. You told me where the key was hidden, when you talked about Steven waiting in bed for her. From there, it was just a matter of good planning, and patience on my part.”

  Coco: “I don’t get it. How did that information help you?”

  Caprice: “You’re forgetting one thing. I’m an actress. I put my talents to good use. I waited till I saw Bliss return. It was late, and I knew Steven was asleep, or at least in his bedroom. I took the key from under the mat, and snuck in, before she could make it from her cottage to his.

  I was as quiet as a mouse. Steven never heard a sound.

  I saw his pants on the chair, and so I threw them over the floor lamp, just for effect. I had taken one of your wigs, thank you by the way, and I placed that on the top of the couch.

  And the piece de resistance was, I was completely nude under my raincoat. The shutters were already wide open, so that was perfect.

  So imagine the scene, girls. I just watched until I saw Bliss leave her cottage, I threw my coat off, and danced as if Steven was there watching. I mouthed a few words, and mimed a laugh. After she walked away, I put my coat back on, and walked out without Steven knowing I was ever there. Of course I returned the key. It was, in my opinion, my finest performance.”

  There’s complete silence, and I’m sure had we been able to see the girls at that moment, we would have seen two mouths hanging open.

  Kiki: “Wow.”

  Caprice: “Thank you. It was spectacularly effective. More than I ever hoped for.”

  She thinks they’re in awe of her talents, instead of horrified by her evil ways.

  “Shut it off.” says Bliss.

  I go to the laptop and eject the disc. I wait. I need to hear her say it. But instead of apologizing for doubting me, she starts to cry. Deep sobs
. Tears stream down her face, and I can’t stand to see her this way. All I want is to take her in my arms.

  “I’m so sorry, Steven. I, I’ve made a horrible mistake. So horrible.” She’s sobbing.

  I go to her, and wrap her inside my embrace. She feels like heaven. I start to kiss her cheek, kiss her forehead, and kiss her eyes, her chin and her nose. I’m trying to kiss her tears away.

  “Don’t cry, baby. It’s over now. Come on. Stop crying. We’re together. That’s all that matters.”

  She throws her arms around my neck, and starts to kiss me all over my face.

  “I’m sorry, love.” kisses.

  “I’m sorry.” kisses.

  “Forgive me for not believing you. I should have known with Caprice involved.”

  I stop her with a real kiss. I nod toward her bedroom.

  “Get in that bed. Let me show you how sincerely I forgive you for not believing me.”

  We move to her bedroom, and get down to the apology.

  It’s kind of otherworldly when you’re so into a woman that your love of her body and your love of her spirit are in equal measure. I need what makes up her soul as much as I need her body. I need to make love to her.

  This is the first time I’ve understood that phrase.

  BLISS

  We’re on my bed, in my cottage in Pacific Grove. Or are we somewhere nameless, where there are no other people, or thoughts, or passions? A place populated by two, Steven and Bliss.

  With each kiss, and every touch, I let myself fall deeper into him. If we could fuse our two beings and become one, I would. So great is this reclaimed love and desire.

  I’m a woman who believes you should never lose yourself when you love a man. I’ve often said things to that effect. But today I see there’s a profound deeper truth to that concept. If he’s losing himself in you, then there’s no loss for either person. It’s only gain.

  Our lovemaking is tender, and unhurried. We both want to savor this, knowing we almost lost it all. His hands explore my body, but it feels like he’s recovering what’s his. As if when he touches it, it becomes part of him again.

  He’s deliberate in his appreciation, as if he has this one time to see and know me intimately. Like he doesn’t want to forget anything about me. The sensation is out of this world.

  I come to him, not only in passion, but in gratitude. If it wasn’t for his determination the whole thing would be gone, and I’d never feel this again. And thank God I had the sense to stop what was about to happen with Finn, because that would have ended it too.

  He’s on top of me. I need and want this forever. His love, his being and his brilliant cock, which is at this moment moving so skillfully inside of me.

  Oh, this is fucking good. I look into his eyes. I’m going to climax. He’s there too. Come, baby. Come to mama.

  Thank God it’s the weekend. No filming, no business and two days to just be together. I’m picturing a Charles Dana pen and ink drawing I once saw. It was of the Earth, seen from space. Two people are sitting atop the orb, holding on to each other for dear life. That’s us. We’re the only two people on Earth.

  Steven told me I wouldn’t get my chance to confront Caprice about what she did. I understand. There’s others to consider. But damn, that bitch almost ruined my life. Maybe someday I’ll get my opportunity, someday when my actions can’t hurt anyone I love or care about.

  Last night we called Jack and Nicki, to let them in on our good news. They were so happy for us. We’ll join them at breakfast today. There’s lots to talk about, with the November wedding only two weeks away. Only a movie star could plan a wedding, and get anything desired in the span of two weeks.

  They decided on the date just yesterday. Its two days after Jack wraps on the film, and three days before the entire film wraps. They’ll be able to honeymoon as long as they’d like. Jack doesn’t have another movie till February.

  I walk into the living room, where Steven’s looking out the window.

  “Ok I’m ready.” He crosses to me, and brings me to him. “Let’s just have breakfast, and get back here. We’ve got some catching up to do.”

  I tap the side of my head. “Good thinking.”

  We kiss.

  “I’ve got to bring Jack the disc. He wants to hear how his plan played out.”

  “Then tell him to destroy it. I don’t want anyone to pay for what you had to do.”

  “Yeah, good idea.”

  There’s Jack’s horn.

  Driving to Monterey, we barely took a breath between topics. So much has happened in the last few days. But breakfast is on everyone’s mind, so we get to it. In this town, you could eat at a new restaurant every day for years, and never have to repeat yourself. Today we’re dining at Emile’s at the entry to Seventeen Mile Drive.

  We’re a blissful group. In a twist of fate and serendipity, the four of us are sharing the happiest times of our lives. The table is crammed with glasses of champagne, and Bloody Mary’s, lobster quiche and Eggs Benedict. And there’s lively conversation. Everyone’s talking at once.

  “I’d like to propose a toast or two,” says Steven.

  I think that makes eight. We’ve all taken a turn toasting each other and our favorable destinies.

  We raise our glasses.

  “Here’s to Jack and Nicki. When it’s right, there’s no denying it. You’re a match made in heaven. And being that I no longer need a wing man, I’m happy for you both.”

  We drink.

  Then Steven looks to me, and raises his glass. He touches his heart.

  “And to my Bliss, I’m yours forever.”

  “Ohhhh,” says a tipsy Nicki.

  Instead of raising my glass, I throw my arms around him. We are all slightly inebriated.

  “Come here and kiss me.”

  Jack interrupts our kiss.

  “So let’s talk about the wedding. Where are we going to have it?”

  “Well, our timeline is short, so options are limited,” says Nicki.

  “Have you met this guy?” Steven asks, as he points to Jack.

  “Nicki, there are no limitations. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you.”

  Nicki’s eyes light up.

  “My dream wedding would be small and intimate, but in a grand setting. I really don’t want prying eyes trying to catch a glimpse of you Jack, even though I couldn’t blame them. And I don’t want paparazzi’s helicopters flying overhead while we say our vows. Something in a beautiful room with high ceilings, and fine finishes. Subdued lighting. Maybe all candles or dimmed chandeliers. That’s what I want. Oh. And a view of the ocean. Oh, and a staircase that I can make a grand entry on.”

  “She hasn’t given this any thought at all,” says Jack.

  “What about the museum? That’s a beautiful space. There’d be impressive art everywhere,” I say.

  “That sounds good,” says Steven.

  “No, I don’t like that. What else have you got?” Jack asks me.

  I think for a minute. Then it comes to me. “Nicki, what about the Porter estate?” Her face lights up.

  “The Porter estate!! I love it! Oh my God. I’m picturing it. Oh Bliss, that’s it.”

  “What’s the Porter estate?” Jack says.

  “It’s only the most beautiful property in Carmel. We just finished filming there,” Nicki says.

  “Tell me about it.”

  “It’s a 42 million dollar, seventeen-thousand-square-foot Art Deco masterpiece, overlooking the sea. The owners are about to put it on the market, but I’m sure they’d love to say Jack Alden was married there. I guarantee it would be part of their selling strategy,” I say.

  “What about their furniture and personal things? Is the place empty?”

  “That’s the beauty of things. They’re selling everything. All their custom furniture, art and antiques are still there. Everything was purchased specifically for this home. They traveled the world to purchase the pieces that would complement the ar
chitecture and style. And what’s missing are the things you’d want to get rid of anyway. None of their photos or personal items remain.”

  “Let’s go look at it,” Jack says.

  “Hold on. I’ve got to make a few calls. I’ll call the broker, and the client. Just give me this afternoon.”

  “Chop chop, Bliss. My girl wants it,” he says only half joking. Nicki lets loose with a muffled scream. She sits right on Jack’s lap, and gives him a big kiss.

  “Baby, you’re melting my Popsicle.”

  We spend the next few hours firming up exactly what Nicki and Jack want. Jack’s manager will handle the details. What a perk of celebrity. Your wish is his command.

  Jack has claimed responsibility for the music. He asked Nicki to trust him with the choices, and she agreed. It’s one less thing she has to worry about.

  Steven has only to get his tux, show up, and hold the ring.

  My job is to get the property secured by tomorrow, and go with Nicki to pick out her dress later today.

  Jack wanted to fly her to Paris, so she could have her pick of the latest designs. Then he offered to fly in any designers offerings she might want to see. His stylist sent her a list of options to consider. But in the end, Nicki said “that’s ridiculous,” and put the kibosh on the ideas.

  She has a favorite store in San Francisco, with one of a kind custom dresses. A French seamstress creates exquisite designs, and she’s familiar with Nicki’s body. That’s where she’ll buy her wedding dress. Today, we’re going to find it.

  “It’s twelve o’clock, Nicki. We’d better get going,” I say.

  “Right. Oh, I’m going shopping for my wedding dress!”

  We all laugh at her genuine joy. This is just how a bride should feel.

  “Do I get to see it?” Jack says.

  “Of course you do.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. On our wedding day.”

  “Alright. Just as well. I might ruin it, ripping it off your alabaster shoulders. Let’s save it for the wedding night.”

  “It’ll be the only thing we’ve saved for that night,” Nicki says.

  Jack has provided a car and driver for our shopping excursion. It’s a good thing, because we both had one too many glasses of champagne. It’s waiting for us as we exit Emile’s. This is most definitely the way to go.