Shadows and Stars

by Becca Fanning

  He wasn’t going to let her down.

  “Say something,” she finally murmured, tilting her face up to look at him.

  He gave in to the need and smoothed his hand down her hair before he kissed her temple and gently set her on the bed. “Trust me,” he said, his voice tight, “you don’t want to hear what I have to say.”

  “I’m not asking you for anything, and I told you, this isn’t your fight. I can handle myself.”

  He stopped halfway to the bathroom and spun around to snarl at her. “Really?” he shouted. “How the hell are you going to take care of this? You have no idea how to be fucking human, and no way in the goddamn world am I letting you go back just to be used as a broodmare for some scummy asshole.”

  “I can learn how to be a human,” she said softly as she unfolded herself from the bed and carefully got to her feet. “It can’t be that hard, right?”

  He snorted, because he had no other answer for her. “I’m in my thirties, Katen, and I’m still trying to figure out what it means to be human.”

  Her brow screwed up in the adorable way she had that told him she had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

  “No,” he muttered suddenly as he pointed at her. “Stop it, right now. It’s not happening.”

  Confusion flickered over her face. “What? What isn’t happening?”

  “I don’t know, I just…goddamn it, I need a drink.”

  Without another word, he turned and walked out of the bedroom, aware that if he didn’t, he’d find a way to convince her to stay with him forever.

  She was still in the bedroom an hour later, and though he knew she was safe, Nathan was beginning to worry. He knew his mood swings, along with everything she’d been through in the last day, had to be overwhelming her, and while he felt like the biggest ass on the planet, for the life of him, he didn’t know how to fix any of it.

  Part of him was aware that it wouldn’t take much for him to fall the rest of the way in love with her, but his family’s history of relationship instabilities and violence didn’t make him anxious to tie anyone to him. His father had claimed until his dying breath his wife was the love of his life, and that he would love her beyond forever, and she’d loved him back with a pathetic desperation. Mira Whitney had walked away from one of the wealthiest families in the country to be with Dade Alexander, convinced as long as they had each other and their two children, they would always be happy. Instead, Dade had turned out to be an raging, abusive alcoholic, and Mira had worked herself into an early grave just trying to keep food on the table while enabling her husband’s alcohol and gambling addictions.

  And Nathan, he had learned that love was a bullshit word. It meant nothing. He could tell Katen he was falling in love with her, and he could tell her she could stay with him forever. Part of him was aware that if he kept her naked and charmed, she’d agree to be with him.

  With a disgusted growl, he shoved off the couch, and headed toward the bedroom only to come up short when he saw her curled up on his bed, sleeping. The T-shirt she wore was still damp with tears, and her flower was cradled in one arm.

  Not sure what else to do, he turned off all the lights, and gently pulled the plant away from her. He set it on the bedside table and stretched out on his back next to her. He normally slept naked, but it wasn’t the wisest idea with her so close to him at the moment. Stretching one arm out, he gently hooked it underneath her waist and pulled her into him. His little fairy kept going, however, turning all the way into him until one of her legs was tangled in his, her head resting on his shoulder, and her hand laid gently on his chest.

  It wasn’t until he hit that twilight area just before exhaustion took over that he realized her hand was laying over his heart, as if protecting it.

  And damn if he didn’t fall a little bit more in love with her.

  TWELVE

  HIS PILLOW SMELLED LIKE A GIRL. His cock, already standing at attention, tightened at the familiar scent, and even as he rolled over, searching for the source, reality struck and he was on his feet.

  She was gone. The clothes she’d borrowed from Hope were on the dresser where he’d tossed them the night before, but the T-shirt he’d given her to wear was gone, too. Because he refused to believe she’d leave in nothing but a shirt that left nothing to the imagination, he shoved a hand through his hair and stalked through his large-ass apartment.

  She wasn’t there. He searched every corner, under every piece of furniture, not sure he put it past her to have decided the oddest place for a human to sleep would make a comfortable bed for her. He didn’t start to panic until he found himself at the opposite end of the penthouse with no fairy in sight.

  His jaw set as his eye began to twitch. He was going to find her, then he was going to strangle her, and then he was going to lock her up somewhere she’d be safe and unable to disappear on him again, or get herself hurt. He didn’t care if he sounded like an over-protective asshole. She had no business being out in the world without him. What the hell was she thinking?

  Telling himself it was anger that had his shoulders trembling, he went back to his bedroom. He yanked on a shirt and his shoes, then grabbed his wallet and keys off the nightstand. He was turning to head back for the door when something just outside his peripheral vision caught his attention. Furious at the relief rushing through him, he pushed open the patio door and growled quietly. “What the hell are you doing?” he snapped.

  She jumped. “Go away, Nathan. I’m working.” Her plant was lying at her feet as she stared down at it, chanting under her breath as tears slipped down her cheeks.

  Willing back his temper, he moved in front of her, and gently crooked his fingers under her chin. She fought against looking at him, as if she was afraid to take her eyes off the plant, but he was more stubborn than she could ever possibly know.

  “Hey.” Afraid of spooking her, Nathan kept his voice soothing as he took a step closer to her, forcing her attention on him instead of the plant. “What’s going on?”

  Her nose wiggled before she sniffed back her tears and wiped her hand over her cheeks. “I’m trying to will myself back into a fairy.”

  His gut clenched. He didn’t want to yell at her, but how the hell could she want to go back to that world? “Katen—”

  She cut him off with a quick shake of her head. Without a word she stepped around her plant and moved into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She dropped her head against his chest and sniffled again. “Don’t argue with me, Nathan,” she murmured. “You’ve done enough to help me already.”

  Logically, he knew she was right. She wasn’t his problem. His life sure as hell wasn’t set up for a helpless female, no matter how hot she was, or how amazing the sex was. He wrapped his arms around her anyway, and pulled her in closer as he dropped his chin on the top of her head. “Maybe,” he agreed, “but you’re still here, and I’m all you’ve got. No one else is going to believe you’re a fairy.”

  She glared up at him. “That doesn’t make me feel any better.” She blew out a breath and turned her head to rest her cheek against his abdomen. “I thought maybe if I wished hard enough, I could become a fairy again. Even if I couldn’t go back to the valley, at least I would have my home.”

  He rested his cheek against the top of her head, and just stared for a long moment out at the city just starting to come alive. Finally he nodded, and scooped her up. He ignored her questioning look as he let them back into the bedroom, and didn’t set her back on her feet until they were in front of the bed. He pointed at the mattress behind him. “Sit.”

  She blinked at his command, even as she carefully lowered herself onto the edge of the bed. Her beautiful face was dark, and there was indignant temper in her bright green eyes as she glared at him. “I don’t handle being told what to do well.”

  “Tough.” He winked at her before she could get worked up. Because she looked more than capable of kicking him or turning him into a cockroach if she got much more pissed off, he wa
s careful to keep some distance between them as he crouched in front of her, his forearms braced against his thighs. “Look. Right now, I’m all you have. You may hate it, but it is what it is. I’m not sending you out into the world as vulnerable as you are. You wouldn’t last a day.” He cocked a brow, warning her that he wasn’t finished. “I’m sure you could handle yourself, but you don’t know this world. You have no money for food, or clothes, or shelter.”

  She was still glaring at him. “If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re still failing, Nathan.”

  He chuckled quietly. “No, I’m being realistic. I can help you, but you’re going to have to be a little less stubborn and let me until we get you on your feet.”

  She had the adorable look on her face she got when she thought he wasn’t making sense. She stood up, and plopped her hands on her curvy hips. “I’m on my feet.”

  He coughed to cover his laugh. She was so damn cute. “It’s a figure of speech,” he finally managed to get out without his amusement showing. “It means being able to support yourself completely.”

  “Oh.” She blew out a breath and sat back down on the edge of the bed. Her teeth caught at her bottom lip as she played with the edges of the T-shirt she wore. It took everything he had to keep his eyes on her face, and not the sinful body barely hiding behind the fabric, or the way it showed off the tops of her thighs. “So what are you suggesting?” She peeked up at him.

  Nathan prayed for self-control. If he was really about to do what he thought he was about to do, he was going to be a walking hard-on for the foreseeable future, and he doubted she was going to want him all over her every time she even breathed around him.

  Dragging a hand over his face, he braced his arms against his legs again. “Stay here. We’ll get you some clothes, I’ll teach you how to navigate the city without getting yourself killed, and we’ll start looking for a way for you to support yourself, so you can find your own place.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Live here, Nathan? With you?” She was back on her feet suddenly, the too-fast movement making her sway. He shot up, grasping her around the waist before she could face-plant onto his hardwood floor. She tilted her head back and gaped up at him. “You mean, live with you?”

  He growled at her, as he methodically started shutting his emotions down. He should have known she’d want to run as soon as possible. “I’m not a goddamn ogre, Katenia. I’m not going to ravish you while you sleep.”

  She poked him in the shoulder. “You stubborn beast. I like you, don’t you get that? I like you so much that it would be too easy to depend on you, and let you fix everything for me. I’m a healer, Nathan. I take care of things, and I really, really want to take care of you. But I’m not human, and you’re not a fairy, and even if it does feel like you’re my forever mate, you can’t be, because again, you are human. I can’t get attached to you anymore than I am.”

  His temper eased back a little, even as the ache in his chest intensified. He didn’t like hearing that even if they wanted it, there could be no future between them. But he nodded, and pretended like the thought didn’t make him miserable. “Okay, then,” he winked as he set her back and leaned down to kiss her lightly. “There is one rule. Not to fall in love with each other.”

  Her head canted as she considered it. “What about sex?”

  “Oh,” he murmured as he grasped her hips and yanked her toward him again, his mouth skimming along her throat. “Sex is still on the table. We just keep the yucky love stuff out of it.” He licked at her pulse point as his hands slid under her shirt to knead her backside. “Deal?”

  “Deal,” she murmured. When he hitched her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and tangled her fists in his hair, her mouth hot and demanding as she nipped at his bottom lip, her eyes dancing. “Now where is this table you speak of to have sex on? You should take me there. Now.”

  THIRTEEN

  THEY DIDN’T MAKE it to any table. They got as far as the hallway before he backed her into the wall and slid into her. He was relentless, his pace slow and maddening, his hands scorching and possessive as they roamed over her skin. All she could do was hold on as the storm that was Nathan raged around her, through her, devastating her all the way to her core. He didn’t let up on his assault of her senses until the pleasure burst inside of her, sending her body skyrocketing into the heavens as every color of the rainbow burst before her eyes, his violent shout of climax mixing with her screams.

  Katenia didn’t know how long it took before she was able to see anything again besides stars spinning, and she had no idea how or when they’d made it to the floor, or how she’d gotten on top of him.

  Suddenly feeling like a contented kitten, she stretched out on his chest, too exhausted to open her eyes. His heart was a frantic pounding beneath her ear, and while she loved knowing he felt the explosion of lust between them as much as she did, there was a part of her that needed to soothe him. She brushed her lips over his chest before resting her fingers directly over his heart.

  It was an odd sensation to literally feel your world spinning out of control. In her valley, everything was predictable. You knew the rules, and every day that went by was the same as the day before. Everything that was today, everything that would be tomorrow, it was all the same as it had been centuries before. But with Nathan, every moment was different, and it was as thrilling as it was terrifying. Because no matter how hard Katenia tried, she couldn’t get a handle on anything. Not her emotions, not the world, and certainly not Nathan. Every time she thought she had him figured out, he’d spin everything out into orbit on her again.

  She didn’t know how to stay steady. She didn’t know how to get her bearings. Everything about her life had changed within the last twenty four hours, and without Nathan…

  A rumble from deep inside him nearly vibrated her off her comfy spot on top of him. “Hey.” He slid his fingers into her hair and kissed the top of her head. “Stop.”

  She didn’t open her eyes, afraid of what she’d see if she looked at him. Any emotion at all would send her tumbling off the edge, and while she loved being with him, and the sex was earth-shattering, she couldn’t afford anything more. “Stop what?”

  “Stop falling in love with me,” he murmured, as if reading her mind. One huge arm banded around her waist as he stretched his long, muscular frame before he rolled easily to his feet. He set her down in front of him, braced his hands on her shoulders, and turned her to face the kitchen. He gave her a little push. “I can’t help you if you’re going to fall in love with me.”

  Katenia tossed her hair over her shoulder and snorted as she started in the direction he’d pointed her. “You are an arrogant beast, Nathan, do you know that?”

  “It’s been said.” He growled quietly as someone knocked on the front door. “Hang on.”

  “Nathan.”

  “Yes?”

  She smiled when he turned to look at her. He didn’t just glance at her over his shoulder; he turned all the way around to face her, giving her all of his attention. It was so sweet her heart stuttered. Moving into him, she slipped her arms around his waist. “You’re naked.”

  He tilted her head back and kissed her, a slow, mind-melting kiss that shifted her world a little farther off its axis. When he finally pulled back, he arched one dark brow at her, though the heat in his eyes told her he wasn’t as unaffected as he seemed. “I thought you liked me naked.”

  “I do.” To prove it, she slipped her hand between them, wrapping her fingers around his already-hard shaft. She grinned up at him as she slowly moved her hand over him. “See?”

  “Goddamn it, woman,” he groaned, his voice a harsh rasp. He grabbed her wrist and leaned down to rest his head against hers as he dragged in a deep breath. “Are you trying to kill me?”

  She tried to hide her delight in the reaction she had in his body. “You’re the one who said humans wear clothes.”

  He glared down at her as the pounding on the door started again
. He pointed a finger at her in warning before he jogged to the end of the hallway where he’d shed his pants, slipped them on, and stalked to the door. He flung it open to reveal a tall, elegant woman tapping long red fingernails on the door trim. Her dress was the same color red, and clung to slim curves like a second skin. The shoes she wore raised her a good five inches, putting her at nearly six-foot.

  As Katenia watched, all the easiness and humor in Nathan disappeared. His body stiffened immediately, and his warm, amazing voice was completely deadened. “Rhiannon.”

  “You bastard! You stood me up!” Rhiannon screamed as her open hand swung toward his face. He caught it a heartbeat before it connected. He flung it away from him.

  “I told you before,” he murmured as he deliberately took a step toward the woman, crowding her space and backing her through the doorway. “Don’t ever raise a hand to me.”

  “Or what?” She sneered. “It’s not like you’ll do anything about it. You and your high standards.”

  As Nathan’s large body coiled, rage flooded Katenia’s system to nearly bursting. She moved around Nathan, planting herself between him and the seething woman.

  “Leave.” She said it quietly, and crossed her arms over her chest to emphasize it. “If I make you, I promise you won’t like it.”

  “Slut!” Fury flashed in the woman’s hazel eyes, and Katenia only had a heartbeat to realize what was happening before the woman’s fingers curled into talons and swiped toward her face.

  Katenia didn’t think. She grabbed Nathan’s hand and ducked, covering her head with her arms as her magic pulsed out, slamming the woman backward and into the metal door of the elevator. The steel creaked with the impact, but Katenia wasn’t going to wait around for the next attack. She slammed his door shut with a swipe of her hand, then turned to stare at Nathan with wide eyes, her entire body trembling violently.