Shadows and Stars

by Becca Fanning

  A knock on the window made her jump, then giggle. She turned off the car and opened the door. If he was going to kill her, at least she’d have the comfort of knowing that her killer was sexy as hell.

  She climbed out.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “Where’s the bar?”

  “Right through there.” He pointed to the woods in front of them, but if there was a path, she couldn’t see it. “You have everything you need?”

  “Oh, um, just a minute.” She grabbed her backpack and purse form the backseat, locked the car and turned to him. He already had her suitcase, so they were ready. “Lead the way.”

  There really was a path! It was even paved. You had to be straight on to see it since the trees and bushes blocked its view from the sides, but it was there.

  It was about a three minute walk through the woods to reach the back of the bar, but that was so much better than the thirty minute walk she’d taken through the woods to get to the motel.

  Unbelievable.

  The apartment Travis showed her was actually quite cute. It was just one big room with a small galley kitchen and a bathroom, but it was perfect. It was already furnished with a king-sized bed, a dresser, a small sitting area and a flat screen TV. “Wow. This really is the Ritz compared to where I was.”

  “Good. I’m glad you like it. I’ll leave you to get unpacked, but before I go, we should talk.”

  “What? Oh. Of course. We didn’t discuss rent.”

  Travis made an exasperated sound. “Not what we need to talk about. The apartment was empty anyway. Consider it a perk of the job.”

  “No, no, no.” Phoenix shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

  He groaned. “Fine. How about you help me Tuesday afternoons in exchange for rent? That’s when my stock gets delivered and I have to do inventory. It’s a terrible job and Glory refuses to help.”

  “Okay, sure. I work at the diner until 11, but I should be able to help after that.”

  “Perfect.”

  “So what did you want to talk about then?”

  “Your animal. What kind is it?”

  FIVE

  PHOENIX APPEARED STUNNED at his question. “Why should I tell you?”

  “Sweetheart, in case you didn’t notice, this is shifter territory. Yeah, there are a few humans around, but mostly on the whole, this mountain’s ours. And you don’t just waltz into shifter territory without announcing yourself.”

  Phoenix raised an eyebrow. “I rather thought applying for jobs in the community was a pretty good way of announcing myself.”

  “Maybe. If your animal weren’t so elusive. And if we knew where you’d come from.”

  “You have my application. You know exactly where I’ve worked for the last ten years.”

  “True. I also know that you’ve bounced from territory to territory that entire time. So from that, do I assume you’re a loner with no clan, no pack, no den at your back?”

  Phoenix looked defensive. “How’d you know I was a shifter anyway?”

  What the hell kind of question was that? He stared at her, stunned. If he couldn’t smell her animal right then, he’d think she was human. “What do you mean how’d I know? How did you know you were working at a shifter bar? How’d you know I was a black bear?”

  She just stared at him.

  He was getting a really weird feeling about this. “Shit. You did know that you’d applied to a shifter bar, right?”

  Phoenix didn’t answer.

  Fuck. Travis dragged a hand through his hair and groaned. No wonder she’d freaked out in the bar. “So I’m guessing your animal doesn’t have a finely developed sense of smell.” Which was totally weird. “I don’t even know what animal that would be.” He raised an eyebrow. “Care to enlighten me?”

  When Phoenix didn’t answer, he huffed in exasperation. “So I’m guessing you wouldn’t have applied if you’d known we were shifters, which tells me what? Are you on the run? Can we expect enforcers to show up in a couple days, trying to track your ass down?”

  Phoenix rolled her eyes. “I already told Adam that no one is looking for me.”

  Adam. When had she met that fucker? “How the hell did you meet him?”

  “He came into the diner for breakfast this morning.”

  And of course he’d interrogated her right away. Fuckin’ alphas.

  “So you can smell my animal?”

  “What?”

  “My animal. You can smell it?”

  Travis stared at her, a little disoriented at the way she’d called her animal “it”. “Yeah, I can smell her. She’s subtle, sometimes even barely there. She’s really good at hiding herself.” A thought suddenly struck him. “Maybe even of disguising herself?”

  Phoenix looked surprised, so maybe not. Her animal must just be a type they’d never encountered before.

  Travis sighed. “Are you ever going to share your animal with us?”

  She shrugged.

  He winced. If she came to the bar with that attitude, it would be like waving a red flag in front of a whole herd of bulls. “Just don’t be surprised if the entire bar gets involved in trying to identify your animal. Like all shifters, they’re a curious bunch. Even worse though, they’re highly competitive. The wolves will want to figure it out first and the cougars will want the same.”

  “I’m not worried about it.”

  Her scent said exactly the opposite though. It had slowly strengthened during their conversation and was now a mix of worry, anxiety and fear. He couldn’t figure out why it mattered though. If she wasn’t on the run, if no one was after her, why did she care if a bunch of shifters knew her animal side? He didn’t want her bolting though so he tried to reassure her.

  He stepped into her space, slid one hand around the back of her neck and settled the other on her shoulder, then leaned his forehead into hers. “They know you’re under my protection, Phoenix, so you really don’t have to worry. You’ll be safe here.”

  The scent of her anxiety fled on a wave of arousal and his bear lunged forward, licking at the air like he could taste her honey. Christ.

  He started to pull away, but she reached up and caught his wrists in her hands and stared into his eyes.

  “God, you’re so beautiful,” he muttered and then he did what he’d been imagining ever since she walked into his bar earlier that week and applied for the open waitress position. He kissed her.

  SIX

  ONE MINUTE PHOENIX was worrying about what would happen if – when – the shifters discovered she had no animal, the next she was drowning in waves of heat.

  She gasped as Travis claimed her mouth, sweeping inside and capturing her tongue with his. All thoughts evaporated as she clutched his shoulders and lost herself in his kiss.

  Long, drugging minutes later, he released her lips to trail kisses along her jaw to her neck, at which point his arms closed around her convulsively and he pulled her tight to his body, burying his face in her neck and inhaling deeply.

  She wondered if she smelled as amazing to him as he did to her. His woodsy scent had intensified with every kiss until her head swam with the headiness of it.

  “I wonder if your animal’s napping?” he asked.

  “What?” She pulled away to stare at him.

  “She’s really subtle, barely there at all. I wondered if she’s curled up, taking a nap.”

  Just those words made Phoenix shiver with desire. She could almost imagine how wonderful it would be. Curled up, napping in her dream space, Travis curled around her, holding her safe.

  “Ah,” Travis said, a satisfied rumble in his voice. “There she is.”

  “What?”

  “Your animal’s peeking at me from your eyes.” He cupped her cheeks and stared deeply. “There you are, sweet love. Don’t be shy.”

  A little freaked out, Phoenix blinked a couple times.

  Travis sighed. “Ah, well. Maybe next time.” He kissed her gently. “No worries, darlin’. I�
��ve got tons of patience. I’ll coax her out.” He spoke without lifting his lips from hers, punctuating the end of each sentence with a firm kiss.

  After one last, heat-filled kiss that swamped all her senses, Travis finally pulled away. “I know you must be exhausted, so I’ll leave you to your nap.” He walked to the door. “If you need anything, my apartment’s across the way and Glory’s is at the end of the hall. It’s Glory’s night to cook if you want to join us. We’ll eat at her place at four.” And with that, he was gone.

  After that, it took a while for Phoenix to settle enough to actually enjoy her nap. This had never happened before. In the past, her dream state was only ever seconds away. She’d curl up or lie down and in seconds would be happy and warm.

  But today, every time she was about to find that place, the memory of Travis’ kisses would ignite a flash of heat and her dream state would slip away as desire engulfed her. She had to call upon the meditation techniques she’d developed while living in foster homes growing up, techniques that had kept her sane while living in impossible situations, surrounded by people she didn’t trust.

  It had been a long time since she’d needed to meditate before napping. The moment she’d been free of the state’s care, she’d begun a slow but steady progression upward until one day she’d slid into her dream state the moment her head hit the pillow and she’d not needed to meditate since.

  Today though. Today that sexy bartender had completely eradicated years of work and her dream state had never seemed so far away.

  After long minutes of deep breathing and other exercises to blank her mind, Phoenix finally managed to relax enough that she was able to spend ninety-five glorious minutes napping before her alarm cut through the soft beat of the drum and woke her.

  As she got ready for the evening and her bar shift, Phoenix pondered her dream. There had been no reaching this time. Just the same dream as always, the same sensation of sleeping curled somewhere safe and warm, listening to the soft beat of drums. And she wondered as she always did, where this place was that she dreamed of and who played the drums she heard there. Knowing there were no answers to these questions, for she’d had them as long as she could remember, Phoenix relegated them to the back of her mind and left her apartment.

  A few seconds later, she stood outside the door to Glory’s apartment and tried to convince herself to knock. She wasn’t sure what she was doing there. Sure, Travis had invited her, but she wasn’t sure she really wanted to continue building connections with him or his sister. They believed she was a shifter too and she just didn’t know how she felt about that. She was afraid to hope and she was worried about their reaction if they were wrong. Would they hate her if she was only human?

  At that moment, the door swung open and Travis grinned at her. “You ever going to knock?”

  Phoenix shrugged. “How’d you know I was here?”

  “I keep forgetting your animal doesn’t have the same sense of smell most shifters do. Which is really kind of weird when you think about it.”

  “Oh, don’t listen to him.” Glory shoved her brother aside and grabbed Phoenix’s arm. “Come on in, Phoenix. I’m so happy you decided to join us and I’m especially glad you agreed to move into the empty apartment.” She led Phoenix through a spacious living space into an even larger kitchen that smelled amazing. “Have a seat.” She waved a hand at a bar stool that stood on one side of a huge kitchen island. “We’ve talked about renting out the apartment before, but it’s so small, we weren’t sure any shifter would ever want to live there. And of course, we’d never offer it to a human.”

  Phoenix winced and was glad Glory wasn’t looking at her, but instead was bustling around the kitchen, grabbing bowls and filling them with the delicious smelling meal she’d been preparing.

  Though it wasn’t a great beginning, the rest of the afternoon was lovely. Glory had a fabulous sense of humor and Travis was super attentive, asking lots of questions that of course, Phoenix did her best to deflect. He asked about where she’d lived and she entertained them with stories of the different bars she’d worked in all over the country.

  When he asked why she chose to work with full humans, she just shrugged and said, “It was less complicated that way.” She didn’t even know why it would be less complicated to work in a human bar, but it seemed the sort of thing that might be true.

  Travis nodded. “I’m sure it’s easier to handle brawling humans than shifters. And even though you didn’t know you were applying to a shifter bar, I’m glad you did. You could have gone to the full human bar the next town over.”

  And she probably would have had she only known. “Yeah, but this was closer.”

  She was trying hard not to actually lie to Glory and Travis. After all, they were super nice and had taken a chance, both in giving her a job and in letting her stay in the apartment. At the same time, she wasn’t sure it was the best idea she’d ever had, taking them up on either offer.

  And how could she possibly pursue whatever was happening between her and Travis when he didn’t even really know her?

  Thankfully she didn’t have much time to worry about it because six o’clock came quickly and before she knew it, they had to be downstairs prepping the bar to open.

  As the night wore on, the bar became more and more crowded and it wasn’t long before Phoenix realized Travis was right. The wolves and cougars were going to do their best to figure out her beast. That was okay though because she figured as long as they were trying to guess it, there was no chance of them realizing she didn’t have one.

  Every time she took an order or brought drinks to a table, some wolf or cougar would try to guess her animal. Every animal you could think of. Phoenix just kept shaking her head because of course, no matter what they guessed, they were always wrong. No matter what Travis thought he’d seen in her eyes.

  If she was a shifter, she’d know it.

  Maybe she was being a little stubborn. After all, she’d grown up in foster care without any knowledge of her real family, but still. From what she’d seen of these shifters, stress, anger, frustration and even laughter could make them experience an unplanned shift or partial shift. One of the cougars got to laughing uncontrollably and a bunch of whiskers popped out of his cheeks, which just caused more laughter and more whiskers to appear.

  Not to mention that when the cougars drank too much, they had a tendency to go full-on cat and take naps under the tables (something Phoenix completely related to, even though alcohol was never a requirement in her case). And when the wolves got drunk, they tended to howl. A lot.

  The more Phoenix learned about these shifters and the more she got to know them, the more she wished it wasn’t true. That she wasn’t human. That they were right and she did have an animal hiding somewhere deep inside. Unfortunately, she was pretty sure she would have shifted at least once as a child and especially as a teenager, living in the stressful environments she had. Which meant she was human. Depressingly, boringly human.

  “Unicorn,” one of the cougars guessed as she set down his beer.

  “Seriously, Cole?” Another cougar rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure we’d have heard about unicorn shifters.”

  “You never know!” Cole exclaimed. “I mean, there aren’t that many animals whose scent I wouldn’t recognize. I bet it’s the same for you, Dan. I think unicorn makes perfect sense.”

  Phoenix just shook her head and headed to the next table where a bunch of wolves were hanging out.

  “I was right, wasn’t I?” Pete, one of the wolves from the diner earlier that day, asked.

  “Right about what?”

  “You’re named for your animal, aren’t you? The cat actually makes sense. Of course, we wouldn’t recognize the scent of a mythical creature. But it’s not a unicorn. It’s a phoenix, right?”

  “I was named for the city I was found in, not for the animal I can shift into.” Phoenix handed him his whisky and walked away.

  “Wait, what does that mean? Fo
und in?”

  Shit. Phoenix ignored his question and hurried back to the bar to get another round of drinks.

  She couldn’t believe she’d revealed something so personal. All the questions were starting to get to her though. Everyone had agreed that she wasn’t a bear, a cat or a wolf, simply because they were all certain they’d recognize that scent. This seemed to be the only thing they agreed on though. They pretty much argued about everything else, insisting that she could be almost any other animal (though no one suggested human).

  And so the guesses kept coming, making her sadder as the night wore on, because she was pretty sure she wasn’t a buffalo, moose, elk, deer, fox, raccoon, squirrel, opossum or any of the other animals they’d suggested.

  “You okay?” Travis asked as she set her empty tray on top of the bar.

  She nodded.

  “Don’t worry. They’ll give up after a while.”

  She forced a smile. “It’s fine. They’re just having some fun.”

  He studied her for a minute, then shook his head. “They don’t get to make you sad though.” He started to untie his bar apron. “I’ll make them stop.”

  “No, it’s fine.” If he made them stop, they might wonder why.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. It’s fine.”

  He leaned over the bar, caught the back of her neck, pulled her close and kissed her.

  Heat swamped Phoenix as she clutched his shoulders and kissed him back.

  The whistles and howls of cougars and wolves eventually broke them apart.

  “What was that for?” Phoenix breathed softly, inhaling his incredible scent and savoring his taste on her lips and tongue.

  He grinned. “Just letting them know you’re mine. In every way.”

  That statement should have annoyed Phoenix. She belonged to no one but herself. Instead, it made her feel warm and safe. Protected in a way she’d never really felt before. Smiling, she turned and walked back to her tables, handing out beers and drinks and taking new orders as she went, the pestering and questions about her animal no longer penetrating the fog of comfort that surrounded her.