Shadows and Stars

by Becca Fanning

  “What is it?”

  There was a strangely familiar sound and then a very recognizable scent reached her.

  Karl pushed the can of tuna he’d apparently just opened toward her.

  She stared at it.

  Then looked at him.

  What the hell? Was she supposed to take the tuna?

  “Seriously, Karl?” Dan exclaimed. “How is that supposed to help?”

  Karl shrugged. “I figured if she’s a cat, she might shift.”

  “I told you she’s not a feline,” Cole said.

  “She might be, you never know. She might be a breed we’ve never met before.”

  Dan groaned. “She’d still smell like a cat, you idiot.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes!” Cole and Dan both shouted.

  “Because I brought this too, just in case.” He pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it at Phoenix.

  She caught it in reflex, stared a minute, then carefully set it on the table.

  “Is that a cat toy?” Max asked.

  “It’s filled with catnip. It should totally work if she’s a feline.”

  Even though both Dan and Cole had insisted she couldn’t possibly be a cat just seconds before, they still stared at Phoenix as if they expected her to pounce on the ball at any moment.

  She shook her head. “Can I get you boys anything? Or are you just going to continue wasting my time?”

  “Go on.” Max waved his hand at her. “We’ll call you if we need anything.”

  As she walked away, a flurry of whispers occurred at her back.

  “I was sure it would work!” Karl exclaimed.

  “Not if she’s not a cat!”

  “It’s not a bad idea, though. Hold on. I’ve got an idea!” A moment later, Pete rushed by and out the door.

  Shaking her head, Phoenix continued to make her rounds, checking in with the customers, taking orders and delivering food and drinks.

  When she made it back to the corner table the next time, Pete was back in his regular spot and had a huge grin on his face. “Here.” He shoved a tiny bouquet of dandelions at her.

  Phoenix reflexively caught the weeds in her hand and stared at them, then at Pete, then back down at the dandelions. What was she supposed to do with these?

  “Do they make you hungry?” Pete asked eagerly.

  “Gross,” Dan exclaimed. “Why would they make her hungry?”

  “I thought she might be a bunny,” Pete said. “When my wolf goes hunting, he always checks the dandelion patches first because that’s where all the rabbits go to eat.”

  Phoenix stared at him, then said dryly, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m not a bunny then.”

  Max snorted. “Sorry, Phoenix. I know my wolves are idiots, but they’re just trying to help.”

  She nodded. “Right. Okay. Well. Can I get you guys anything else?”

  “Nah, we’re good.”

  “Great.”

  As she walked away this time, she heard Cole announce rather loudly that food was definitely not the way to go.

  Rolling her eyes, she decided unless they flagged her down, she would ignore their table for the rest of her shift.

  An hour later, the wolves and cougars were headed out the door and Phoenix was happily clearing their table. The rest of her shift passed uneventfully and soon enough, she was walking back into her apartment, pathetically grateful to be home. Without a second’s pause, she crossed to the bed and collapsed.

  A knock on the door roused her timeless minutes later. She glanced at the clock, but realized she hadn’t looked at it when lying down so she had no idea how many minutes she’d been napping.

  No idea.

  This was terrible!

  What if she’d only been asleep for forty-five minutes? Or twenty-five minutes? What if she’d slept for two hundred and ten minutes? She had no idea whether she should be cranky or celebrating. Happy and rested or depressed and tired.

  Another knock came at the door.

  Throwing off her blankets, she stomped over and flung it open.

  “You!” She grabbed Travis by the shirt and pulled him into her apartment. “It’s all your fault!”

  Travis grinned at her. “What’s wrong, darlin’?”

  Why was he smiling?

  “Don’t you darlin’ me! I had to deal with those wolves and cougars on zero minutes in my dream space and it’s all your fault. And then, just now, I was napping, but I don’t know how many minutes I was napping, now do I? And then you knocked and now I’m not napping. I’m not napping for any minutes, counted or not. I’m awake. And it’s all your fault!”

  Travis just couldn’t help it. She was so flippin’ adorable, stalking back and forth, waving her arms and ranting about naps and minutes and who knew what else.

  He grabbed her up and kissed her breathless.

  Of course, she kissed him back, which just sealed her fate.

  He lifted her high and carried her over to the bed and they broke it in just like they’d broken his in the night before.

  And just like then, it was amazing.

  “What time is it?” Phoenix murmured. She was curled into him, her head resting on his chest, one leg slung over his.

  “3:15.”

  “4:15 – sixty. 4:45 – ninety, 5:00 – one hundred and five,” she murmured. “One hundred and five glorious minutes. I will kill you if you wake me before 5:00, Travis.”

  He couldn’t help but grin. “All right, darlin’.”

  “I’m serious, Travis. One hundred and five minutes. No less.”

  “I promise.”

  He hadn’t expected this. Whatever it was. This amazing feeling, this sense of protectiveness, of being so completely enamored of another person. Was this what it was like to have a mate?

  If she finally shifted and they weren’t true mates, it would break his heart. His bear’s too.

  But no.

  There was no way she was anything other than their mate. He knew it. And his bear knew it too. Even if she never shifted, even if she did shift and the true mate bond never happened, he and his bear were in agreement.

  She was theirs.

  And so he lay there.

  Unexpectedly content to simply hold his beautiful Phoenix in his arms.

  To play with her hair and listen to her soft breathing.

  To know that she’d gone someplace she called her dream space and that she was happy to visit there while sleeping in his arms.

  TWELVE

  PHOENIX COULDN’T STOP MOONING over Travis.

  He’d actually let her sleep. For the full one hundred and five minutes.

  Actually he’d let her sleep an additional ten.

  Just because.

  One hundred and fifteen glorious minutes, all of them spent curled up in his arms, warm and safe in her dream space like always, but also warm and safe in the real world.

  She was simply so in love with him.

  She had no idea how it had happened. How this amazing man with a black bear inside him had become so important to her happiness.

  Not too long ago, she hadn’t even known shifters existed and now she was in love with a black bear shifter, claiming him as her mate.

  And completely over the moon about it.

  About him.

  Her mate who was currently leaning over the bar, chatting with one of the wolves. His dark hair was all mussed up, hanging in his eyes and as she watched, he threw back his head and laughed at something the wolf said.

  So freaking sexy.

  “Hey, Phoenix, you ever gonna deliver those beers you got there?” one of the wolves called.

  Damnit. She’d zoned out again.

  She blamed the bear. It was all his fault. “Damn sexy bear,” she muttered as she stomped over to the wolves’ table.

  Just as she reached them, something grabbed her by the ankles.

  She shrieked and all the beers went flying. She glared at her feet where one of the cougars had
his paws wrapped around her ankles.

  Seconds later, Travis was at her side and if she thought she was pissed, she’d never seen that look in his eyes before.

  The cougar obviously thought so too because suddenly her ankles were free and the cougar was shrinking back under the table where he’d obviously been napping moments before.

  “Are you okay?” Travis asked her.

  She nodded. “He just startled me that’s all.”

  Travis stared at her a few moments, then slowly leaned over, glared under the table and let loose a hugely terrifying bear roar.

  The cougar whimpered and didn’t move.

  “Don’t touch her again!” Travis snarled.

  Straightening, he pulled her close, kissed her fiercely, then released her and stalked back to the bar.

  Swallowing, Phoenix glanced at the wolves, then under the table at the cougar. “Sorry about that. I’ll go grab you guys some more beers.”

  Max waited until Phoenix was out of earshot, then pounded his fist on the table. “Get out from under there, you mangy cat.” Just like he’d predicted. Out of hand. Fast.

  Cole slid from under the table and slowly stretched to his full height, seamlessly flowing from cougar to man. Grabbing the shirt he’d left on the back of his chair, he pulled it on, then his jeans. “I can’t believe that didn’t work,” he muttered.

  “Well, it sort of worked,” Pete said. “She was definitely startled.”

  “Yeah, but not really scared,” Dan said.

  “He’s right.” Cole jerked out his chair and slumped into it. “I didn’t scent any fear at all. What kind of shifter isn’t scared of a cougar?”

  “What kind of woman isn’t scared when her ankles are grabbed?” Pete countered.

  They all stared over at the bar where Travis had Phoenix wrapped in his arms.

  “That right there’s why it didn’t work,” Karl said, pointing at the two of them.

  “What do you mean?” Dan asked.

  “She’s got a bear protecting her. Of course she wasn’t scared!”

  Max grunted. “You’re lucky you didn’t get mauled, Cole.”

  “True, but it was worth it.” Cole said.

  “How do you figure?” Pete asked.

  “Because now we know exactly what we need to do next.”

  Max was almost afraid to ask. “And what’s that exactly?”

  “Get rid of the bear, of course.”

  Like he’d said. Completely out of hand.

  “Those damn wolves and cougars. They’re up to something.” Travis glared across the room at Max and his friends.

  Phoenix smiled, completely charmed at his growly protectiveness. “Hey, don’t worry about them.” She stood on her tiptoes, cupped his cheeks and landed a kiss on his jaw. “They’re harmless.”

  He shifted his gaze to her. “Harmless, huh?”

  “Completely.” She leaned up and kissed him again, this time on his lips.

  He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him, capturing her lips with his.

  Waves of heat washed over Phoenix as all thoughts of the wolves and cougars and whatever they might be up to were blown away by his kiss.

  Long minutes later, he finally set her back on her feet and then steadied her when she swayed a bit.

  “It’s like I’m the only one working tonight,” Cassie teased from the other side of the bar.

  Phoenix laughed. “Sorry, Cassie. I’ll stop distracting him.”

  She spun out of his reach, grabbed up her tray of beers and hurried around the counter. As she walked away, she heard Cassie tell Travis that she needed a round of The Beast Within.

  Phoenix groaned.

  She’d only ever served The Beast Within once. Travis didn’t even keep the bottle with his regular stock because he claimed it was best served sparingly. The alcohol’s claim to be “so potent it’ll bring your beast out” had turned out to be surprisingly accurate, as she’d witnessed her first night in the bar during what she now referred to as The Furbrawl.

  She wasn’t exactly looking forward to a repeat occurrence.

  Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that Travis had disappeared, probably gone into the back to fetch the bottle.

  Great.

  Another brawl coming up.

  She turned back around and froze. A giant wolf stood on the table directly in front of her, fangs bared, a low growl emanating from his throat.

  Movement to her right and left made her realize there were wolves and cougars pacing on either side of her.

  “Seriously?” A quick glance told her that Max’s table was now empty, which meant these yahoos were still messing with her. “You do realize you can’t drink your beers in animal form, right?” She stalked past the wolf and delivered their beers to their table as if they were still sitting there.

  Turning around, she saw they had all followed her and now surrounded her again. Truthfully, it kind of freaked her out, but she wasn’t about to show them any fear. “I’d shift back if I were you. You’re still paying for these beers even if they get warm.”

  She stalked forward and to her relief, they parted to let her pass. She reached the bar at the same time Travis did.

  “How many, Cassie?” he asked.

  “Five.”

  He groaned. “Please don’t tell me it’s for Max and his crew.”

  “Sorry.” She grinned.

  “I thought Phoenix was serving them tonight.”

  Cassie nodded, then leaned forward. “I think they didn’t want her to freak out. You know— because of what happened last time.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Phoenix said. “I’m not going to freak out.”

  “Of course not,” Travis said. “Here.” He set the five shot glasses on her tray. “You can deliver them since Cassie’s got her hands full with the party room. But you tell them I said they’re paying for any damages and they’d better not lay a hand on you.”

  Phoenix rolled her eyes. “I’ll let them know.” She picked up the tray and headed back over to what she now referred to as The Crazy Table.

  “Five shots of The Beast Within.” She handed them out and started to turn away.

  “Holy shit!” Pete exclaimed.

  She swung back around. “What?”

  “That’s it! We need another shot.”

  “What?”

  “We need one more shot. Go ask Travis for another shot.”

  Phoenix huffed. “Fine.” She went up to the bar, collected another shot from Travis and took it back to their table. “Here you go.” She set it down and started to turn away.

  “No, wait!” Karl said.

  “You have to drink with us,” Dan said.

  “What? Why? No. It doesn’t matter why. I can’t. I’m working.”

  “But you have to,” Pete said. “This stuff always works. Always. It wakes the beast within and brings him out. It’ll work on you. Come on. Drink with us.”

  Phoenix really didn’t like this plan at all. She didn’t want to unleash her beast in the middle of the bar. But even more, she didn’t want to NOT unleash her beast in the middle of the bar.

  She stared at the shot glass that sat on the table. If Pete was right and it always released the inner animal, this would be the proof she needed.

  This was her answer.

  Shifter or not.

  Human or not.

  She glanced over her shoulder at Travis.

  If she didn’t shift, would she lose him?

  And if so, wasn’t it better to know now? Now before she fell even deeper in love. Before there was no recovering from the heartache of his rejection?

  Taking a deep breath, she picked up the shot glass.

  “Bottoms up!” She downed it in one quick gulp, a scalding, liquid fire that spread through her veins and lit her from the inside out. Seriously. If she had a beast, it would be roaring right about now.

  As she lifted her watery eyes to the rest of the table, she saw none of them had
drunk theirs. “Aren’t you going to drink?”

  “Sure. In a minute,” Cole said.

  “How are you feeling?” Pete asked.

  She shrugged. “Fine.” But not really. Suddenly she was so freaking sleepy. “I need a nap,” she muttered. All that fire had drained her energy away.

  “It should have happened by now,” Karl said.

  “Well, we don’t know what kind of animal she is, so it might take longer,” Max said.

  “What’s the longest it’s ever taken?” Pete asked.

  “Longest I heard was a minute and thirty seconds,” Karl said, “but I think that’s just an urban legend.”

  “Yeah, that’s impossible,” Dan said.

  “Well, how long’s it been?” Karl asked.

  “Not sure. Maybe a minute,” Cole said.

  All of these words seemed to come from a faraway place. She heard them, but it was like they were coming at her through water. “I need to lie down.” She turned away and slowly walked, one foot in front of the other, toward the bar.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Travis suddenly appeared at her side.

  “I’m suddenly not feeling well,” Phoenix said, trying to carefully enunciate her words, not wanting Travis to know that she’d just gotten drunk off one shot of The Beast Within.

  Drunk.

  Not shifted. Just drunk.

  She was definitely human.

  She suddenly wanted to cry as much as she wanted to sleep. She was so desperate for sleep. “I’m going upstairs. I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay. Do you need help?”

  “No. I’m fine. I’ll see you later.” Phoenix carefully walked the length of the bar, turned left and headed down the hall toward the bathrooms and stairs. Everything looked so weird. The walls seemed to bulge and waver before her eyes. She made it to the stairs and slowly, one foot at a time climbed them. When she reached the top, she staggered down the hall.

  It took her three tries to get the door open, but then she was inside.

  She carefully closed the door behind her, walked into the bedroom and crawled onto Travis’ bed. His scent barreled over her and she collapsed.

  The dream space that she always slid into so carefully, quietly and easily, roared over her in a violent wave of sound, the drumming a loud beat that kept time to the rush of blood in her veins and the fire that would not die.