Shadows and Stars

by Becca Fanning

  I didn’t agree with him, but he was so sincere and adamant about it that I didn’t argue anymore. “I’m still going to repay you for those weapons,” I mumbled to him.

  Everyone laughed and Padraic patted my hand while he stood. “You will try, but I won’t allow it.”

  “Insufferable men,” I growled and stood up too.

  “Come, let’s go for a walk,” Eoghan said and held out his hand for me.

  Eoghan led me to the garden and I fidgeted nervously, expecting to have a serious talk from him. Instead, he switched forms and rubbed his furred lynx body against my legs. I sat down and scratched behind his ears. I knew this was Eoghan and yet in this form I didn’t view him as a king or as a man that was courting me. As a lynx he was my friend, the one I owed my life to. Why hadn’t I consolidated them into the same person yet?

  “Have I made you unhappy?” he asked in my head as I scratched his ears and he purred.

  “What?” I asked in shock. “Of course not.”

  “If you don’t want a birthday party we can…”

  “No, I do! I’ve always wanted one. I just…”

  “I don’t think you’re selfish or spoiled,” he said, answering my unspoken feelings.

  “Can I be honest with you?” I asked softly and played with the tuft of hair on top of his ear.

  “Weren’t you being honest before?” he asked and tilted his head to the side.

  “I mean upfront and tell you what I’ve been keeping secret,” I explained.

  “Please. I want you to be upfront and honest with me. I would prefer if we didn’t keep secrets.”

  “What happens when you decide that I’m not the right girl for you? What happens when you’ve decided that you no longer want my company? I don’t want you to pity me because I’ve got nowhere else to go, but what will I do? What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?”

  He switched to his human form and sat in front of me. “You are free to do what you want with your life, Alyssa. You are not a prisoner here and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

  “I didn’t mean—”

  He cut me off. “If you decide that you want to leave and find a life outside of my castle, and my life, I will not stop you. I would hope that you would at least allow Padraic to accompany you and help you find a place to stay, but that is still your decision. If we decide that being a couple is not right for us, there will be no hard feelings on my end and you are welcome to stay here in the castle as long as you want. I don’t believe that I will stop wanting your company and I do not pity you. First and foremost, we are friends.”

  “Isn’t there some type of work I could do to repay you? Or a job I could get in town to earn money and earn my keep?” I asked him.

  “You want a job?” he asked in shock. “Like as a baker?”

  “I don’t know about as a baker. I’m not very skilled in the kitchen, but some type of job.”

  “Why don’t you wait a couple months, get used to this dimension, and learn what you can about the societies here before you do anything else? Isn’t that sort of what you do in your dimension? As a child you learn the intricacies of the people and life there and then look for work?”

  “I suppose that’s right,” I whispered.

  “Are you already second guessing our courting?” he asked.

  “I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I’ve heard many adults who start as friends and date end up not even able to stay friends afterwards.”

  “That won’t happen to us,” he assured me and picked my hands up in his. “Do you want to leave?”

  “Leave the garden?” I asked.

  He smirked. “I meant leave my castle. Do you want to find your own place to live?”

  “Yes and no,” I admitted and his face fell. “Part of me thinks that I should be surviving on my own and live in a hut or cave until I can afford my own place, but the other part of me…” I paused and was afraid to admit my feelings out loud. I stared at the ground, plucked a piece of grass, and tore it into multiple pieces. “Another part of me doesn’t want to be separated from you ever again.”

  He pulled me into his lap and hugged me, wrapping me in his warmth and scent. “I don’t want to be separated from you ever again either,” he whispered.

  We sat like that for a long time and then made our way to his room where we lay on the bed in each other’s arms and cherished the fact that we were back together again. I didn’t have a magic lesson or fighting lesson and I guessed that Eoghan had ordered them to leave us alone because we spent the rest of the night silently, together, and didn’t separate until the next morning.

  SEVEN

  “THIS IS RIDICULOUS,” I complained as I stood, blindfolded in my room while the seamstresses checked my birthday gown and made final adjustments to it.

  “It’s a surprise,” one of them whispered.

  I hadn’t yet distinguished their voices so I didn’t know who had spoken.

  “It’s supposed to be a surprise for them, not me!” I argued.

  “We thought it would be best to surprise you as well,” the same one answered.

  “What if I don’t like it?” I threatened.

  “You will.”

  “What if I don’t?”

  “You will.”

  I growled and gave up trying to convince them to let me see it. They helped me out of it and only once it was packed up and hidden again did they untie my blindfold.

  “Are you decent?” Padraic called through the connecting door.

  “No!” I screeched and quickly put my clothes on.

  I heard him tapping his foot on the other side of the door and stifled a laugh. He’d been avoiding me a lot lately and when I had confronted him he had assured me that nothing was wrong. I pulled open the door and smiled up at him. “Hello.”

  “I know tomorrow is your birthday,” he whispered nervously, “but I am certain you will be too busy to have time for me.”

  “Padraic, I wouldn’t ignore you just because—”

  “I have a present for you,” he interrupted me. “And I want to give it to you now.”

  “Oh,” I said and took a step back. “You didn’t have to get me a gift.”

  He held out a grey, wood bow that had vines, leaves, and flowers carved into it.

  I took it and held it gingerly, afraid to damage it. “This is beautiful,” I whispered. “And it’s so light.”

  “It’s not going to break if you hold it,” he teased me. “It’s an Elven bow. I carved it myself and measured it specifically for you.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered and threw my arms around his neck. “This is the best birthday present I’ve ever been given.”

  “That’s part of why I wanted to give it to you before you got any gifts from Eoghan,” he said with a chuckle.

  I kissed his cheek and said, “I assume this is why you’ve been avoiding me the past few days.”

  He nodded. “Sorry, I just wanted to finish it in time. Want to try it out?”

  I cringed. “I don’t want to break it.”

  “It’s meant to be used, Alyssa. If you break it, I’ll just make you a new one.”

  We walked out Eoghan’s balcony to find a target set up already. “You planned everything,” I said with a happy smile.

  He helped me slip on the quiver which had arrows in it and showed me how to draw an arrow, nock it, and aim. I took a steadying breath and then released the arrow. It hit the bottom of the target, but at least I hit the target.

  “Nicely done,” he praised.

  I hugged him again and admired the craftsmanship of the carving. “You’re amazing.”

  “I’m glad you like my gift.”

  “I love it.”

  “Love what?” Eoghan asked.

  I held up my new bow, showing him as he walked towards us. “Look what Padraic made me,” I bragged.

  He took the bow and examined it. “Nice work, Padraic.”

  “Thank you, Eoghan,” he said and
bowed his head.

  “And I see you were able to hit the target on your first attempt. Nice job,” Eoghan praised me.

  “Can I try again?” I asked Padraic.

  He laughed. “You can try as much as you want. It’s your bow.”

  “Will you teach me to make arrows?” I asked him.

  He nodded. “We can start on that and other survival skills after your ball.”

  “Martin and I are going on a short mission,” Eoghan informed me.

  I lowered the bow and turned around in shock. “You’re leaving?”

  He smiled sweetly and said, “I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

  “You’re leaving overnight? But tomorrow is…”

  “Tomorrow is your birthday. I haven’t forgotten. If this weren’t urgent, I would not be going,” he assured me.

  “Can’t I go in your place?” Padraic offered.

  “I appreciate the offer, but no, this is something I must do myself,” he said seriously.

  “Is it dangerous?” I asked softly.

  “Slightly, but you don’t need to worry. Martin will be with me and—”

  “Take Padraic with you,” I ordered.

  He bit his lip to keep from laughing. “I appreciate your attempt to assist me, but he must stay here and protect you.”

  “I’ll stay in your room and won’t leave it until you return,” I promised. “He won’t need to be here to protect me then.”

  “Alyssa,” Eoghan chastised. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  “But…” I paused and kicked a rock with my booted toe. “You just got back and what if you’re late.”

  “If I’m delayed, Padraic will start the festivities. He’s been to enough royal balls to know how they work.”

  “But—”

  “And if I’m delayed even later, Padraic will dance with you and keep you smiling throughout the night. Won’t you, Padraic?”

  “Of course,” Padraic agreed.

  “Are you leaving right now?” I asked in a whisper.

  “I’ll take your bow and quiver to your room,” Padraic said and took the items from me.

  Eoghan hugged me and kissed the top of my head. “Don’t fret, Alyssa. I’ll be back soon.”

  “If you’re not back by the time the cake is served, I’ll come searching for you,” I told him adamantly.

  “Fair enough,” he agreed. He kissed my lips lightly and asked, “Do you want your birthday present now or tomorrow when I return?”

  “Tomorrow. That means you have to be here or my present will be late and I’ll be very upset,” I threatened and teased at the same time. I didn’t care if all I received for my birthday from him was the ball or a kiss on the cheek. I just wanted him here.

  “I’ll return as fast as I can,” he promised and kissed me once more before jogging over to Martin who sat astride his horse and held the reins of Eoghan’s horse.

  “If he gets kidnapped this time, I will take you to go find him,” Padraic promised.

  “What could he be doing that is so urgent and important he had to leave tonight?” I grumbled.

  “He is a King, Alyssa. He has a lot of duties and responsibilities that he has severely neglected the past few years. He will likely be inundated with tasks and duties the next few years and then he will fall into a rhythm like his father did. You though may prove to be a distraction.”

  “I’m not a distraction,” I said, but he had me smiling again.

  “You are most definitely a distraction,” he argued. “You’ve distracted me from my duties this week.”

  “How?”

  “I hid from Eoghan to work on your bow,” he admitted.

  I laughed and he led the way to the kitchen where we were promptly yelled at and ordered back out with towels waved in my face so that I could not see what they had been working on.

  “Rude,” I mumbled.

  “Are you hungry?” the chef asked. He had followed us out of the kitchen and to the dining room.

  “I just wanted a snack,” I admitted.

  “I can bring you out some hot chocolate and a piece of cheesecake,” he offered.

  “Yes please!” I beamed and Padraic laughed at my excitement.

  “Are you ready for tomorrow?” Padraic asked and pulled out a chair for me at the dining table.

  “Will there be many people?” I asked him instead of answering.

  He smirked. “You’re already nervous so, me discussing how many or few people there will be doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

  “Do you know how to dance?” I asked him instead.

  “Of course,” he said as though I’d insulted him.

  I looked up at the ceiling and whispered. “I don’t.”

  “What!” he bellowed. “Alyssa, why didn’t you tell us this before? We could have been teaching you.”

  “I was too embarrassed,” I admitted and felt like crying.

  “It’s alright. Dancing is not hard. After your snack, I’ll call in some people and we will teach you.”

  “Really?” I asked happily.

  He nodded. “Though we may be up late tonight.”

  “I don’t care! I just don’t want to make a fool of myself tomorrow.”

  “Doesn’t know how to dance,” he mumbled and shook his head as he looked at the table top.

  “There wasn’t much occasion for dancing at the orphanage. I danced when listening to music, but I guarantee that my dimension’s idea of dancing and yours are far different.” I couldn’t even begin to imagine Eoghan’s reaction to my type of dancing. That would be something I showed him in private.

  “Why are you blushing?” Padraic asked.

  “No reason,” I snapped and put my hands over my face.

  “Your snack,” chef said and set a plate of cheesecake and a mug of hot chocolate in front of both Padraic and me.

  “Thank you,” I said with a smile and took a bite of the cake. So good!

  “Alyssa needs your help in another matter,” Padraic informed him.

  “Oh? How can I be of service?”

  “She doesn’t know how to dance.”

  Chef stared at me a moment and then exhaled. “Oh my.”

  “Can you ask some of the others to assist us?” Padraic requested.

  “I’ll round everyone up and meet you in the ballroom,” he agreed and went into the kitchen.

  “There’s a ballroom? I haven’t seen it.” I’d wandered around most of the castle and I didn’t remember seeing it.

  “The locked doors,” he explained and I knew which ones he was talking about. They were large, carved with trees, and had a chain locking them closed. I’d tried peeking inside the room, but they were secured.

  “Why were they locked?” I asked softly as I ate.

  He set his fork down, having demolished his cake. “Eoghan has some bad memories of that room.” He looked up at the ceiling and then whispered, “That’s where they’d found his family’s bodies.”

  And yet he had offered to host a ball for my birthday. He was offering me so much and I had been a brat to him too often.

  “I owe him so much,” I whispered.

  “We owe you,” he countered. “Our King has returned.”

  We spent the entire evening dancing and I was surprised to learn that I wasn’t terrible at it.

  “I think the only reason I can do this is because you’re great at dancing,” I told Padraic as we walked to our rooms.

  “My father always said, ‘Only with a strong lead can a woman shine when dancing’.”

  “If Eoghan doesn’t return, you’re going to have to be the only one who dances with me,” I told him.

  He smiled and said, “I don’t know if that will be possible. I’m certain that there will be many men wanting to dance with you.”

  “I didn’t think they’d dance with me since Eoghan is courting me,” I admitted.

  Padraic stopped walking and when I turned around he looked like he’d seen a ghost. “What did you say?”
/>
  “I thought you knew? Eoghan is courting me,” I whispered. “I swear I wasn’t trying to hide it. I honestly thought that you knew. He said you knew.”

  “He didn’t tell us. I…” he paused. “That’s why he ordered me to dance with you and keep you happy. He didn’t want others trying to dance with you since he’s courting you, but no one else knows.”

  “Is he ashamed to be courting me?” I asked softly. Why wouldn’t he have told anyone?

  “I’m sure that’s not it,” he assured me and went to hug me, but stopped and lowered his arm.

  “No, don’t push me away because of this,” I begged.

  “The King is courting you,” he whispered. “It is not a good idea for me to be seen behaving so openly and friendly towards you.”

  “You can’t be my friend because he’s courting me? That makes no sense! We are friends and it does not matter if I am courting Eoghan or not,” I argued.

  “I’m sorry, but in this dimension it does. I am your friend, but I cannot show my affection for you publicly.” He pushed open my door and bowed. “Goodnight, Alyssa.”

  Eoghan still hadn’t returned by the time that the seamstresses came to get me ready. I spun in the dark blue dress lined with white lace and even Eoghan’s absence couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “It’s beautiful,” I told them as I continued to spin in front of the mirror.

  “We told you that you would like it.”

  It hugged my body’s shape and the skirt flared out as I spun making me feel like a real princess. They’d even put diamond clips in my hair to make it sparkle in the candlelight. I’d never seen such a gorgeous dress in person, let alone on my body.

  “The guests have begun arriving,” Padraic informed me as he walked in with his head down looking at a pair of white gloves that he carried. He looked up and froze, his eyes wide and his mouth opened in an “o”. “You…”

  I suddenly felt self-conscious and shifted nervously. The seamstresses let themselves out and that left us alone. “Well?” I asked.

  “You look gorgeous,” he told me. “As beautiful as any Elven princess.”

  I blushed and whispered, “Thank you.”

  He picked my hand up and kissed the back of it. “Happy birthday, Alyssa.”