Shadows and Stars

by Becca Fanning

  “Be mine,” I begged.

  He grabbed me before I could escape and crushed me against him in a tight hug. “I can’t.”

  “You mean you won’t,” I cried and pulled away from him. “You have a choice and you’ve made it.” I turned away and faced the fireplace. “Leave.”

  “Alyssa,” he whispered.

  “Leave!” I yelled and the fireplace roared to life, fire filling the hearth.

  “As the Queen orders,” he said and walked to the door. He paused and whispered, “If you ever want to see me again, summon me and I’ll return.”

  “Do you have a message for Eoghan?” Eddore asked me.

  I shook my head. “Just tell him that he’s banned from my Court.”

  “You need an adviser,” Eddore whispered.

  “Who do you recommend?”

  “I can advise you, if you’d like,” he offered.

  I smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

  He bowed. “I’ll return once I get my affairs in order.”

  Padraic still stood at the door and when I met his eyes he whispered, “You really do look beautiful in that dress.”

  Eddore teleported him and Padraic back to Eoghan’s and I collapsed to the ground and let myself fall apart. I had fallen for a king and now, even though I was a queen myself, I could never see him again. I cried until the sun rose and then bathed in the now cold bath and burned the dress in the fireplace. Never again would I let someone control me. Never again would I let myself fall for someone’s tricks.

  EIGHT

  THERE HAD BEEN a knocking against my magic for an hour and I could not figure out what it was. I sat in a throne room with the newly freed humans slowly filling it up to hear my decree. I rubbed at my temples and waved a servant over. “A glass of water, please,” I requested.

  The servant, a girl close to my age wearing a light pink dress, nodded and hurried off to get the water.

  “Are you feeling alright?” Eddore asked.

  “There’s a knocking at my magic of some kind,” I admitted to him.

  He frowned and asked, “May I look?”

  I nodded and sat still while he placed his fingertips against my forehead to look into my mind and see what I saw and feel what I felt. He had just entered my mind when the boundary I had set around the lands was shattered. I yelped and he jerked his hand away.

  “I’ll investigate while you give your decree,” he whispered and then disappeared.

  My head hurt even worse and I desperately wanted a nap, so I clapped to get everyone’s attention and tried to look like I wasn’t in pain. “Thank you for gathering. I’ve taken over as Queen and I now free all humans. You may keep the positions you had previously, but this time as free people, or you may work together to create your own town.”

  “Free?” Someone asked softly.

  I nodded and stood up. “You are all free.”

  They murmured to each other a moment and then everyone cheered.

  “How are we free if you’re Queen?” someone asked in the back.

  “I govern this area to keep you safe from those who would enslave you,” I explained. “And while it is not a democracy like you are used to in our dimension, I will not force you all to do anything.”

  “What if we don’t want a Queen?” someone asked on the other side of the room.

  I shrugged. “You don’t get a choice in that matter.”

  “Stop arguing,” a woman in the front said and turned to the crowd. “She just rescued us from terrible lives and you’re complaining that she’s a ruler? We should be thanking her and bowing to her, not getting upset that this isn’t a democracy.”

  “She’s right!” another woman agreed.

  “Please, go out and do what you want with your lives,” I told them and walked from my throne to the side door that led to a pathway they couldn’t access.

  “Your water, Your Majesty,” the servant girl said and handed me the cup.

  “Thanks,” I whispered and drank it quickly. My head was throbbing now and I felt dizzy. What had happened at the border? Who had broken my border?

  A man stood in front of my chamber door and for a moment my heart leapt into my throat as I thought it was Eoghan, but on a second glance, I realized that it was Treyce. He looked the same as when I first saw him, which meant that he hopefully hadn’t suffered too much from Pella.

  “I’m glad to see that you’re alright,” I told him as I walked closer.

  He had been staring at the ground, but looked up and then immediately dropped into a bow. “Your Majesty.”

  “None of that,” I told him softly and motioned towards my room. “Would you like to come in?”

  He nodded and then pushed open the door for me and bowed his head as I walked by. That would need to be fixed right away. I did not want him bowing to me and treating me like that.

  “I apologize for not trying to find you,” I told him, “but I don’t know where I would have started to look to find you.”

  Earlier in the morning, the servants had brought in a table and two chairs which I requested for eating my breakfast at. Now, Treyce and I sat at it.

  “No need to apologize,” he said. “I just wanted to see you and ensure that you truly were alright.”

  He had been worried about me?

  “That’s incredibly considerate of you,” I whispered in shock.

  He looked up at me and said, “I heard what happened between you and Eoghan.”

  I cringed as I wondered how much he had heard and what types of things the rest of the dimension knew now. It hadn’t even been more than a day!

  “What can I do for you?” I asked him instead of commenting.

  “I actually came to offer my services to you,” he said and looked up at me.

  “Services?” So many thoughts were going through my mind that it took me a minute to calm my mind and focus.

  “To be your guard,” he explained. “Every Queen has a personal guard, one that is assigned specifically to her and in times mentor or offer advice. I know that you offered Padraic a position, but he is devoted to Eoghan and while I may not be an elf, I am a full-blooded shifter.”

  “Are you certain that this is what you want?” I asked him, “And that you aren’t just feeling bad for what’s happened?”

  “I’m certain. When Pella took us, I had a long time to think about what I wanted to do in the future. With you ending Pella’s reign, I feel indebted to you and I honestly feel that I am supposed to be here.”

  “If this is what you want, then I would gladly accept your offer,” I said with a smile. “I was worried about finding a guard that I can trust and having you as my guard will be a huge relief.”

  He smiled and said, “I won’t let you down.”

  “Have you been updated on what’s happened since I took over?” I asked and plucked a grape from the bowl on the table.

  He shook his head.

  “I’ve freed all of the humans that are from my dimension and were taken as slaves. I’ve given them the chance to keep the positions they were serving, but now as free people, or to start their own towns.”

  “That had to make the vampires pretty unhappy,” he said with a scowl.

  “They tried to argue with me, but that did not last once I showed them that I wasn’t weak anymore.”

  “What else?” he asked.

  “I’ve forbidden Eoghan from entering my lands,” I said and looked down at the grape in my hand. “I do not wish to speak with him for as long as possible.”

  He nodded. “Understood.”

  “What I need is a crash course on this dimension and the clans. I learned some while I was at Eoghan’s, but I was focused on learning to fight and use my magic then.”

  “There’s some books in the library that I’m sure can help,” he said and stood. “I’ll go grab them and return.

  I nodded and watched him leave. Whatever the reasons for him deciding to offer to be my guard, I was glad. It would be a relief to
have him here and know he had my back.

  My eyelids grew heavy and I closed them. The headache was lessening, but I felt drained now. Something creaked and when I opened my eyes, I froze at the sight of a lynx pacing in front of my fireplace. “Get out!” I growled.

  He turned towards me and shifted forms. “Please, let me explain,” he begged.

  His eyes were misty and despite the deep desire I had to run into his arms, the crack in my heart formed from his treachery held me steadfast. “No!” I snapped and turned away from him.

  He appeared in front of me and grabbed my arms. “Please! I’m sorry! I didn’t want to hurt you, but I had to save my sister and—”

  I pushed him away from me and blinked against the rush of tears. “Guards!” I yelled.

  “She’s the only family I had left!” he yelled as he followed me while I backed away. “I couldn’t let Pella torture her anymore.”

  “So, you thought making me believe you cared for me and making me fall for you was the way to fix that?” I sobbed. “You thought breaking my heart was the only way to help her?”

  “I never meant to hurt you. What happened between us was real.”

  “Lies!” I spat. “Everything you’ve done and said have only been lies.”

  The guards finally came in and tried to grab him, but he dodged their grabs, punched one in the face and the other in the back of the head, and they both fell unconscious to the ground.

  “I didn’t lie about how I felt about you,” he said as he walked closer to me.

  “You brought her to the ball to steal me,” I argued.

  “No, I didn’t!” he yelled and then paced back and forth in front of me. “She summoned me to the boundary line to talk. I got there and she wasn’t there, so I sat and waited. She never showed up, so I came back to see you and hoped that she would come later. I never intended for her to crash your ball like that.”

  “You didn’t try to stop her from taking me,” I reminded him and looked down at my shaking hands.

  “I would have come and rescued you,” he whispered and for some reason, some stupid part of me, believed him.

  “I don’t need you to rescue me anymore. I’m no longer a useless human who can’t protect herself.”

  “You never were,” he whispered.

  “You should have told me what was going on.”

  “I know.”

  “I would have let her take me if you’d told me.”

  He looked at me and I saw a glimmer of wetness in his eyes. “I know.”

  “You betrayed me.”

  “I know.”

  I turned around and said, “You know and yet here you are, trying to talk to me when I just wanted you to leave me alone.”

  “I had to see you. I miss you,” he whispered. “It’s not the same at the castle without you.”

  “Here are the books…” Treyce began, but when he saw Eoghan his eyes hardened and he tossed the books on my bed. “You’ve been forbidden from entering these lands and are now trespassing.”

  “What are you doing here?” Eoghan demanded of Treyce.

  “I’m the Queen’s Guard,” he explained and walked towards Eoghan. “Now, leave before I must use force to compel you to leave.”

  “Don’t do this. Just let me talk to her,” Eoghan begged.

  “You’ve said enough,” I whispered to Eoghan without looking at him. No matter what he said, I could not trust him. He had lied to me and used me. “Get him out of my realm,” I ordered Treyce.

  Tryece bowed and smirked. “As you wish, my Queen.”

  Eoghan growled. “Alyssa, please. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I lied to you and used you. Let me make it up to you.”

  “There’s nothing that you can do,” I replied and wiped at the tears now dripping down my face. “The damage to my heart is not something that can be fixed.”

  Treyce tried to grab Eoghan, but he dodged his grab and before I could stop him, he grabbed me and kissed me deeply. “I love you,” he whispered. “And I won’t give up on winning you back.” He put his hand against my chest, right over my heart, and heat flooded out of his hand into my heart. “Repair,” he whispered and his magic wrapped around me in a flood of warmth and power.

  What was happening? How could he fix a psychological wound with magic? The pain I felt at his betrayal ebbed away until it was dull and his words filled me. “I love you.”

  Treyce ripped Eoghan away from me and put chains on him that made Eoghan gasp from pain and drop to his knees. Treyce drug Eoghan by his bound hands out of my room while I fell into my chair with his magic still filling me.

  “Queen Alyssa,” Eddore whispered as he entered the room.

  “What is this?” I asked him with a fresh set of tears falling, these ones from the love that I felt Eoghan possessed for me.

  Eddore squatted down in front of me and whispered, “He has very unique magic abilities and though I’ve never seen it done before, he has healed your heart with his love.”

  “My heart wasn’t physically damaged,” I reminded him.

  “No, but he emotionally damaged you and that is enough for magic to work.”

  “Can I make it stop?” I asked and wiped at my eyes. Already the sting of his actions was faded, like an old memory.

  He shook his head. “It will stop when you’re healed.”

  “What if it’s never healed?” I asked since I did not plan on going back to him just because he healed me.

  “It won’t stop until it’s healed,” He repeated. “Which means that if you continue to focus on the pain he caused or the pain you feel at his separation, it will continue healing you and filling you with his love.”

  “I don’t like it,” I grumbled. It was manipulation and yet part of me was glad that this would heal in minutes instead of months or years.

  “There’s a way around it,” he whispered.

  “How?”

  “Despite your feelings for him, you don’t wish to get back with him at this time, right?” he asked. I nodded. “Then resign yourself to being his friend and the magic should stop.”

  I would like to be friends with him again. I nodded again and closed my eyes as I focused on that. We would be friends, but nothing more.

  “How is she?” Treyce asked softly.

  “Fine,” I responded and opened my eyes. The magic stopped and the warmth left, though I could feel a bit of it still around my heart. “It’s stopped.”

  “What did you do with him?” Eddore asked.

  “I met Padraic at the border and handed him over,” Treyce answered.

  “How did you get there so fast?” I asked curiously. It was a few days journey at least.

  “We have portals downstairs,” he explained.

  “You should rest,” Eddore suggested.

  “Can you wait one minute?” I asked him and walked to the small desk on the other side of the room. “I need you to give Eoghan a letter.”

  I didn’t wait for his response and began writing:

  Eoghan,

  Although your healing was manipulative and unasked for, I do want to thank you.

  However, I will not give up my title or return to your realm as there is no possible way that I can trust you at this time. You betrayed me and used me. I can try to be your friend though. If you would like to be friends, please let me know. If you cannot just be friends, then I wish you nothing, but the best in life. I hope that your sister knows how loved she is by you.

  I have lifted your banishment from my realm, but I ask that you give me at least one month without your presence so that I may focus on the tasks ahead of me as Queen. I told Padraic that he may visit me whenever he wishes and I hope that you won’t keep him from doing so. My heart may be healed, but the only way I can go on is to keep you at arm’s length. I love you, but now we must turn our love to one that we share only as friends. If I never see you again, know that you will forever be in my heart and I hope you find a woman to love you and ease your past.<
br />
  Love,

  Alyssa

  * * *

  I folded the note and then handed it to Eddore. “I ask that you not read this.”

  He bowed. “Of course, Queen Alyssa.”

  He disappeared and Treyce asked, “Are you sure about this?”

  “About what?” I asked him.

  “Not trying to work things out with him. It’s obvious that he loves you and you he.”

  “I can’t trust him,” I explained. “And without trust, a relationship is doomed.”

  He retrieved the books and said, “Well, let’s get started on your lessons.”

  Two weeks of Treyce teaching me, on top of learning as I went with people seeking an audience with me over issues, was a crash course that taught me many things. One thing I learned was that their civilization had been like ours, but a terrible war nearly destroyed them all. It was like our apocalypse back home. But, here they reverted to medieval times instead of progressing into future technologies like we had done.

  The humans had started their own town and to my surprise some of the beings from various clans helped them build homes and plant crops. Eddore visited from time to time to continue my magic training, but there had been no response from Eoghan and I hadn’t heard from Padraic either.

  “Are you hungry?” Treyce asked me.

  I sat up onto my elbows on the grass where I had been resting and watching the clouds pass by overhead. “Yes, but I can get something later.”

  “You’ve been out here for a few hours,” he informed me. “It’s well after lunch time.”

  Maybe I should eat then.

  “And you have a meeting with Jonah, second in line to the werewolves,” he reminded me.

  I groaned and flopped to the ground. A week ago, suitors had begun showing up and trying to interest me in courting them. I should have tried a bit harder to get to know them, but my heart still wanted Eoghan, betrayal be damned.

  “You can’t keep pushing them off.”

  “I can,” I muttered.

  “Alyssa…”

  I sighed loudly. “Fine. I need to eat and change first if I’m to entertain another suitor.”

  “He’s not a bad man,” he informed me.