The Ghost

by Danielle Steel

  One morning, she was joined by another brave passenger, Abraham Levitt, one of the merchants. Have you relatives in Boston? he asked her. He was a prosperous man, and had done extremely well in commerce. He was precisely the sort of man she never would have met before, and it fascinated her to be able to talk to him, and hear about all his trips and trades, and travels through the Orient and the West Indies. And he was impressed by the questions she asked him. She was most unusual for a woman. And she kept trying to ask everyone everything she could about Boston and the settlements to the north and west of it. She wanted to know all about the Indians and the forts and the people in Connecticut and Massachusetts. She had read about a picturesque place called Deerfield, where there were waterfalls and quite an elaborate stockade, as well as Indians, which intrigued her. Will you be visiting people there? the man asked once he learned she had no connections whatsoever in Boston.

  I think I might like to buy a farm there one day, she said pensively, as she looked out to sea, as though she were trying to make her mind up, and he looked at her in consternation.

  You can't do that. You can't just buy a farm. Why, a woman alone would have nothing but trouble. How would you run the farm? And the Indians would just carry you off the first time they saw you. It was what he would have liked to have done, but Captain MacCormack ran an extremely proper ship, unlike some, and he was keeping a fatherly eye on Sarah. All of them had been disappointed. She was so beautiful that sometimes all they wanted was to be able to look at her, and stand near her. They bumped into her sometimes, just so they could reach out and touch her. All the men were aware of it, and Sarah had no suspicion of it whatsoever.

  I don't think the Indians will carry me off, she said, laughing at him. He was a pleasant man, she knew he had a wife in Connecticut, and he was in his early thirties. And it was obvious from the enterprise he ran that he was going to make a lot of money, and although she knew she shouldn't have, she admired him for it. She knew that things were different in America, and she hoped that one day, in a place like that, he would be respected for all that he'd accomplished, and she said as much to him as they stood by the rail, chatting until dinner.

  You're a remarkable woman, Mrs. Ferguson. I really like you, he said bluntly. And then the first lieutenant announced that dinner was served, and Abraham Levitt walked her in to dinner.

  Seth and Hannah Jordan were already there, Martha hadn't come to dinner in weeks. She never left her cabin anymore, and she was looking very ill and very frail each time Sarah saw her. It was frightening to see her, but even the pharmacist seemed to have no clue as to what to do for her. He had exhausted all his remedies, and so had Sarah.

  Sarah shared a lively dinner with all of them, as she always did, as they all exchanged stories and legends and tales, and even ghost stories. They all agreed that Sarah told the best ones. And she told the best children's stories too. She told one to Hannah that night and helped her get to bed, so her father could stay up on deck with the other men. And in her cabin, Martha was sleeping. She had been vomiting for weeks, and she seemed to be wasting away before their eyes, but no one could help her. But Sarah imagined that other women had been through it before, at least that was what the captain said. No one had ever died of seasickness. But the storm they encountered that night made her doubt that.

  Captain MacCormack said afterward that it was one of the worst ones he'd ever been in. It lasted for three days, and all the sailors on deck had to be lashed to the masts, the passengers tied to their bunks in the cabins, and two men were washed overboard as they attempted to save the sails. One of them had torn in half, and equipment was floating everywhere around them. And this time when the ship came down after a swell, it felt as though it were crashing into rocks. The Concord shuddered so hard as she hit the water that it seemed as though every piece of wood on her would splinter. Even Sarah was terrified this time, and she cried in her bunk wondering if she would be taken at her word, and drown at sea rather than stay with Edward. But even if she did, she didn't regret it.

  On the fourth day, the sun came out, and the sea calmed a little bit, though not completely. And as the passengers came out of their cabins after that, they all looked more than a little ragged. All except Abraham Levitt. He said he had been in far worse storms on his way to the Orient, and he told tales that left everyone horrified. They were all looking a little weak and pale, but when Seth and Hannah came up, he looked terribly worried and he came to find Sarah.

  It's Martha, he said, with a distracted air, she's not well. I think she's delirious ' she hasn't taken even a sip of water in days, and I just can't seem to make her do it.

  You must try, Sarah said with a worried look. She knew that women had died of dehydration.

  But the pharmacist shook his head. She should be bled. It's a shame we don't have a doctor on board to do it.

  We'll do without, Sarah said firmly, and went downstairs to check on the ship's only other woman. But Sarah was even more shocked when she saw her. The woman looked gray, her eyes had sunken back in her head, and she was whispering softly. Martha ' Sarah spoke gently to her, but the other woman gave no sign that she had heard her. Martha ' you must get better now ' come ' we're going to try to drink a little water' . She held a spoon of it to Martha's lips and tried to force it in, but it only ran down her cheeks and her chin, she would not take it.

  Sarah sat with her for hours that night, trying to urge a little water into her, but the woman never recognized her, never spoke coherently, and never took a single sip despite all of Sarah's efforts.

  It was late when her husband finally came back downstairs, and Hannah was nearly asleep in his arms. He laid her on the bunk he shared with her, and she fell asleep instantly, as Sarah and Seth worked frantically on her mother. But by morning, it was obvious that the inevitable was going to happen. They had done everything they could, but there was no way to turn the tides back. Martha was four months pregnant by then, and so piteously frail that Sarah felt sure that if her body had still had the energy to fend for itself, she would have surely lost the baby. Perhaps it was even dead already. There was no way of knowing. And just as the sun came up, she opened her eyes, and smiled peacefully at her husband.

  Thank you, Seth, she said sweetly, and took her last breath, and then she was gone as he held her. It was the saddest thing Sarah had ever seen, except when her babies died. But this had an ache of sadness to it that touched her deeply, and when Hannah woke up shortly after that, she turned and looked at her mother. Sarah had combed her hair by then, and tied a gauze scarf of her own around the woman's neck, and she actually looked almost pretty.

  Is she better? the little girl asked hopefully. Martha looked as though she were sleeping.

  No, dear, Sarah said with tears in her eyes. She hadn't wanted to intrude on them, but Seth hadn't wanted her to leave him. She's not' . She waited for Seth to say something, but he didn't. He looked at her imploringly through his tears, and his eyes begged Sarah to tell her. She's up in heaven now. See how she's smiling ' she's with the angels' . Just like her own little babies. I'm so sorry, she said with tears in her own eyes for this woman she had scarcely known, but felt so sad for. She would never see her daughter grow to be a woman. She would never get back to Ohio. She had left them.

  Is she dead? Hannah asked, with wide eyes, looking from Sarah to her father, and they both nodded. And then she started to cry for her mother. They took her up on deck finally, after Sarah got her dressed, and Seth had to talk to the captain about what they were going to do with Martha.

  He suggested they put her in the captain's cabin until noon, and then they would have a burial at sea. It was the only thing they could do, and Seth hated the thought of it. He knew how much she had always wanted to be buried on their farm or with her family in England.

  There's no choice here, the captain explained to him bluntly. We can't keep her until we reach Boston. We have no way to do that. You'll have to bury her here. It was rare for them to have
a trip without a burial, either of a passenger or a crew member. Someone always fell ill, or had an accident, or slipped overboard. It was to be expected when you traveled a great distance, and they all knew it, but still it was a shock when it happened.

  Two of the sailors carried Martha's body up to the captain's cabin, and wrapped her in a cloth they carried for the purpose. They put weights in what became her shroud, and at noon they took her out and lay her on a plank amidships, while the captain said a prayer for her, and the preacher took over. He read from Psalms, and talked about what a decent woman she had been, although none of them really knew her. And then the men tipped the plank slowly on one end, and her body slipped into the sea as they moved swiftly past where they had dropped her. And weighted as the body was, she disappeared before they'd even left the spot, as poor little Hannah screamed for her mother. She sobbed in Sarah's arms for hours, and Seth looked as though he had done the same when he came to Sarah's cabin to thank her. It had been a difficult day for all of them, and she was lying on her bunk with a headache. But she got up again to talk to Seth Jordan. She felt so sorry for him, and for his sake and Hannah's, she hoped they reached Boston quickly. It was time now. They had been on the boat for five and a half weeks, and she hoped that in the next week or ten days, they would see Boston on the horizon.

  You can come to Ohio with us, if you'd like, he said awkwardly, and she was touched by the invitation. She had grown fond of them in the past few weeks, particularly Hannah. I'm going to have a real hard time taking care of her now, he said tentatively, and Sarah wondered if he'd go back to England, to Martha's family, so they could help him. But she was sure that they were hardly anxious to undertake another journey across the Atlantic.

  I think I'll be staying in Massachusetts, she said, smiling at him. You can visit me on my farm, when I find one. She didn't say she had to sell some more jewelry first and hoped that someone in Boston would want it for good money.

  There's more land at better prices in Ohio. But Sarah knew it was a harder life, and the Indians were less peaceful. Maybe you'll come west and see us, he said hopefully, and she nodded, and offered to take care of Hannah for him that night, but he said they wanted to be together.

  But for the next week, the little girl clung to her, and Sarah felt as though her heart would break as she held her. She was keening for her mother, and Seth looked distraught as each day wore on. And finally, he talked to Sarah one night. They had been on the ship for seven weeks then. He had knocked on her door, after he left a sleeping Hannah in his cabin. She had been inconsolable ever since her mother died, and the only person she wanted with her now was Sarah.

  I don't know how you'll feel about this, he said, looking anxious, as he glanced around the small cabin. She was wearing a blue silk dressing gown over her nightgown. Maybe it'll sound strange to you, but I've been thinking a lot about this since Martha died. He was starting to strangle on his words, and Sarah was beginning to get worried. She could sense what was coming next. She would have liked to stop him, but she didn't know how to. We're both kind of in the same situation ' I mean ' with Martha and your husband and all ' I mean ' you know what it's like ' except you don't, because I have Hannah ' I just can't do this alone, he said, as tears filled his eyes. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. ' I know this isn't the way to say it ' and I'm sure there are better ways to ask ' but Sarah, would you marry me and come to Ohio with us? Martha had been dead for ten days, and Sarah was momentarily speechless as she listened. She felt desperately sorry for him, but not enough to want to marry him, even if she could have. What he needed was a girl to work for him, or a woman who did want to marry him, maybe one of their friends when he got home, or a widow like the one she was pretending to be. But for Sarah, it was out of the question and she gently shook her head as she looked at him with consternation.

  Seth, I can't, she said firmly.

  Yes, you can. Hannah loves you, even more than she loves me. And we'll get used to each other in time. I wouldn't expect too much, not at first. ' I know this is fast, but ' we'll be in Boston soon, and I just had to ask you. His hands were trembling as he touched her, but she was very sure. She didn't want to mislead him. There was no chance of her marrying Seth Jordan.

  It's impossible. For many reasons. I'm very flattered, but I can't. Something in her eyes told him that she meant it. This was the last thing she wanted, even if he was a kind man, and Hannah was a sweet child. She wanted her own life now. That was what she had come for, and nothing was going to make her lose that. Besides, she still had a husband, and he was very much alive, unfortunately, in England.

  I'm sorry ' I probably shouldn't have asked ' I just thought you being a widow and all ' He was blushing furiously and trying to back out of her cabin as she reassured him.

  It's all right, Seth. I understand. She smiled at him, and closed the door, and sat on her bunk with a sigh. It was time to get to Boston. They had been on the ship for long enough. In fact, too long.

  Chapter 11

  IN THE END, the crossing took exactly seven weeks and four days. The captain said he could have done it in less, but they had run into several storms, and he had wanted to proceed with caution. But all the discomforts of the trip were quickly forgotten as they sighted shore, and everyone began to shout, and run around on deck. It was nearly two months since they'd left England. It was the twenty-eighth of October, 1789, and the weather in Boston was crisp and sunny.

  The passengers disembarked onto the long wharf, looking a little unsteady as they reached firm ground, and all of them talked excitedly and laughed. The port was a veritable maelstrom of excitement. There were settlers and men in uniform, and soldiers from the garrison. There were hundreds of people selling things, and animals being herded on and off ships. There were carts being loaded, and carriages bringing passengers to and from the boats all around them. And Captain MacCormack was very solicitous of her, as he helped her organize her belongings and hire a carriage to take her to the boardinghouse he had recommended.

  Others were moving on to find stagecoaches, or hire horses, to go home or to boardinghouses nearby. Abraham Levitt made a point of saying good-bye to her, and the pharmacist, and the preacher heading west, and several of the sailors came to shake her hand. And then poor little Hannah threw her arms around Sarah's legs and begged her not to leave her. But Sarah explained that she had to, and promised to write to her, although a letter might take a long time to reach her, but she would try.

  She kissed her and held her for a long moment, and then she stood and shook hands with Seth. He was still faintly embarrassed around her, and wished she'd agreed to marry him, and come to Ohio to live on his farm with them. She was a glorious-looking woman, and he was going to dream about her for a long time, and she had been so kind to his little daughter.

  Take care of yourself, Sarah said gently, with the voice he'd become so fond of.

  You too, Sarah. Don't do anything foolish ' be careful if you buy a farm. Don't get anything too far out of town.

  I won't, she said, and knew she was lying. That was exactly what she wanted, to taste the exhilaration and independence of this new land. What good was it if she bought a house in town somewhere, or sat in the stockade, or right next to the garrison? She wanted a place where she could move around and enjoy her freedom.

  She got into the carriage Captain MacCormack had found for her, and he directed her to the Widow Ingersoil's at Court and Tremont. She had no reservation, knew no one, had no plans. But she wasn't even frightened as she waved at all of them, and drove slowly away from the port up State Street into Boston. Something told her that everything was going to be all right here.

  And as he read the last line of that particular entry, Charlie sat and thought about how brave she was and almost cried. There was nothing she had been afraid of. She had lived through so much pain, and she had still been willing to brave more. She was never afraid to try. The very thought of her trip over on the Concord terrified him. He
was sure he would never have survived it. She was absolutely amazing, and he wondered where she was going to buy her farm. It was like reading the best novel he'd ever read before, but the best part was that the people were all real, and it had all happened.

  He stood up and stretched and put the journal down. He knew her handwriting so well by now, he read it as easily as his own. And when he glanced at his watch, he was amazed by how the day had flown. He still wanted to drop by Gladys Palmer's, and he had to go to the historical society and return the books he'd borrowed the week before. He wondered if Francesca would be there.

  He had a cup of tea with Gladys when he picked up the book, and he was dying to tell her what he'd found in the attic. But he wanted to read them all first, and think about them, before he shared them with anyone, even Gladys. It was as though Sarah belonged to him for the moment. It was more than a little odd to realize that he was entranced with a woman who was so long gone. But reading her words, her adventures, and her feelings, brought her more alive to him than any living woman.

  They chatted about some of the news from town, Gladys always had lots of things to tell him. One of her friends had had a heart attack the previous afternoon, and an old acquaintance from years past had written to her from Paris. And hearing her speak of France reminded him to ask her about Francesca. She said she had seen her once or twice, and everyone in town had commented on how pretty she was when she first came. But she had a reputation for keeping to herself, and no one seemed to really know her. Gladys had no idea why she'd come to town. She's a pretty woman though, she said with cautious admiration. He agreed with that, but would have liked to know more about her. She intrigued him, and he was enchanted by her child.

  He left Gladys just after four-thirty, but when he got to the historical society, it was closed, and he was left standing outside with the books in his hand and nowhere to leave them. He thought of leaving them on the front step, but he was afraid they might get stolen or ruined if it snowed. So he put them back in his car, and stopped at the grocery store at the shopping center on the way home, promising himself to come back the next day, or the day after.