The Ghost

by Danielle Steel

  Even in summer, they still walked to the waterfall every day. The Iroquois women had told her that it was important that she walk a lot, they said it would make her son's legs stronger, and the baby would come more quickly. But in August, she could hardly make the distance anymore, and had to walk very slowly. It touched Fran+oois's heart to see her lumbering along, and they stopped every few minutes so she could rest, but she seemed in good spirits, and insisted she wanted to do it. She would hold on to his arm, and they would talk all the way there. He told her whatever news he had heard when he went to the garrison, and she worried when she heard that things were still not peaceful in Ohio.

  They'll want you to go out there again one of these days, she said unhappily. She wanted him with her all the time now, and even when he visited the forts, or the garrison, she worried. He knew it was because of her confinement. But he had also thought about what would happen when he ventured from home again, because they both knew that sooner or later, that would happen. And he would have preferred leaving her in a house in a less remote area than her farm, and considerably more solid. He had had a dream for a long time about building a small chateau, a tiny gem, and now he talked a great deal about building it for her. But she insisted that the house they had was good enough, and she didn't need a chateau. She had had one.

  Well, I shall build you one anyway, he said stubbornly, and they laughed about it, but one day when they were riding a good distance from the farm, with her in front of him on the paint mare, he stopped in a beautiful spot that overlooked the valley. You could see everything for miles around, and he looked at her with a smile as though he'd just come home, and she knew what he was thinking.

  It's lovely, she admitted.

  It will be beautiful, he said gently, and she didn't argue with him this time. She was too tired, and the baby was coming closer. She could feel it. She had been through this too often to think it would wait much longer, and every night now, she lay in bed, terrified, praying he wouldn't hear her cry in fear and sorrow. Sometimes, she got up and walked around outside just to get some air, and see the stars, and think of her babies. She couldn't imagine that this one wouldn't join them. But she could still feel life in it. In fact, it moved around a great deal more than the others. But then again, Edward wasn't beating her anymore, and she was endlessly happy with Francois. He took such good care of her, and sometimes he would talk to her, and rub oils on her the way the Iroquois women had shown him. He had all sorts of potions and magic for her, but she wasn't sure that even that would save this baby. Nothing they had ever done for them had saved the others. But she tried not to think of it as the time drew inevitably closer, and August melted into September. It was exactly two years since she had set sail on the Concord. Even she could not believe it. And neither of them could believe their good fortune. But she kept trying to brace herself for the sorrow she feared was coming, although she didn't admit her terror to the man she called her husband.

  And at the end of a long day of picking corn for the winter, she asked him to go to the waterfall with her. She was tired, but she loved going there, and she wanted to see it.

  Don't you think it's too much for you now? he asked gently. If her calculations had been right, and it had happened in the first few times they made love, the baby was due any minute. Why don't we stay here, or just walk around the farm this afternoon? he suggested sensibly, but she was stubborn.

  I'd miss the water. He agreed to go with her finally, because he was afraid she'd go without him if he didn't, and he walked with her very slowly until they reached it. She looked happy and strong, and he couldn't help smiling at her. Her belly was absolutely enormous. He had never seen anything like it, and he didn't want to ask her if it had always been like that. He didn't want to remind her of past horrors, though he could sense how frightened she was for their child, although she didn't say it.

  They talked of other things now. He wouldn't speak to her of the unrest in the West, for fear of worrying her, and kept their conversations, as much as possible, to peaceful, gentle subjects. And on the way back from the waterfall that day, he picked her a bunch of flowers, and she carried them all the way back to her kitchen.

  She was cooking dinner for him, which she still did every night, when he heard a soft moan, and hurried into the kitchen. And he knew immediately what had happened. It had started. And he was surprised by how strong it was so quickly. But she had had many children. This was her seventh, although she had nothing to show for her earlier efforts. But with Crying Sparrow, he still remembered, it had gone very slowly, and been very easy. Her mother and sisters had been with her, and she had only cried out once, as he waited outside to rejoice with her. But he could see now from the look on Sarah's face, as she leaned against a chair, that she could barely talk now.

  It's all right, my love ' it's all right ' he said soothingly, as he picked her up easily in his arms and carried her into their bedroom. She had already taken the pot off the fire, and he knew that dinner would soon be forgotten. The boys would have to eat fruit and vegetables from the garden, but they wouldn't mind it. Do you want me to call someone? Several of the women had offered, but she had always said that she only wanted him with her. Neither of them had ever delivered a baby, she had always had a doctor. But the doctors had never been able to save her children, and she was very definite about being alone with Francois. There was also a doctor at the garrison, but he drank a great deal, and Francois knew she didn't want him.

  I just want you, she said again, but her face was contorted with pain, and she was clutching at him in agony and terror. They both knew the baby was very big, and it was easy to suspect this wouldn't be easy. Her other babies had been much smaller.

  But she said very little as she lay there and writhed, trying not to make a sound, as he held her hands, and put cloths on her head drenched in cool water. It was a long night as she labored, and by midnight, she had begun pushing, but they couldn't see any progress. And in another two hours, she was exhausted, but she couldn't stop pushing. Each time she felt a pain, she couldn't stop the urge to push the baby out. But it wasn't coming, as Francois watched her. He looked almost as tired as she did, and he was wondering what to do for her as she began screaming with the pains now, and he didn't blame her.

  It's all right, little one ' go ahead ' He was almost crying, and she couldn't even speak to him now. She seemed to be having trouble breathing. She was gasping as the pains came, and all he could do was hold her and close his eyes in prayer, trying to remember what the Indians had taught him, and then he remembered something Crying Sparrow had told him, and he tried to pull Sarah gently up to a sitting position, but she didn't understand what he wanted. Try and stand up, he said, and she looked at him like he was crazy, but the Indian women said that a baby would come faster if you were squatting, and it made sense to him too. He would have tried anything at that point, and he didn't even care about the baby now. He didn't want to lose her.

  He literally held her in his arms as he lifted her to the floor, and rested her legs against him, but he could see that it was easier now as she kept pushing. He kept her from falling with his strong arms, and she screamed each time she pushed, but she was saying something to him now as she did ' it was coming ' it was coming ' she could feel it' . He wanted to look but he couldn't. He was still holding her in his powerful arms, and telling her to keep pushing, and then there was a long agonizing scream which was the same as the one he remembered Crying Sparrow make as the baby pushed through her, and then along with Sarah's cries, he heard the baby's, and he rolled an Indian blanket beneath her, and a moment later they looked down and the baby was looking up at them. It had big blue eyes like hers, and its face was very pale, but the baby looked huge to both of them, and they could see that it was a boy as Sarah cried in triumph. And then, just as they were watching him, the baby closed his eyes and stopped breathing. Sarah gave a scream of anguish, and reached down to him, and picked the baby up still attached to her by the cord
, but Francois could see that it was dying. And with his powerful hands, he lifted her up and put her on the bed, and gently lifted the baby from her. He had no idea what to do, but he wasn't going to let this happen to her again ' not now ' not this time ' after all that work ' he held the baby gently upside down, and began patting his back, trying to will life into him, as Sarah sobbed, lying on the bed, distraught, watching.

  Francois ' She said his name over and over again, begging him to do something he couldn't. But she could see that the baby was dead, just like the others. And as Francois cried, he hit the baby hard on the back, and it coughed and a plug of mucus flew out as the baby gasped and began breathing.

  Oh my God ' was all she could whisper, and the baby cried loudly as his parents watched in amazement. He was beautiful, and Francis had never seen a lovelier sight as he put the infant to his mother's breast and she smiled at him in relief and gratitude. He was perfect. And then she looked up at Francois with all her love for him in her eyes. You saved him ' you brought him back. '

  I think the spirits did that, he said, still deeply moved by the experience. They had come so close to losing him. But he looked fine now. Francois had never been so terrified in his life. He would have rather faced a thousand braves than lose their baby. And he couldn't take his eyes off Sarah and his son. They were truly miraculous as they lay there.

  He helped her to clean up after he cut the cord with his hunting knife and tied it, and he went outside to bury the placenta. The Indians said it was holy. And as the sun came up, he thanked the gods for giving them this baby. And when he came back inside, he looked down at them with all the love and gratitude he felt, and Sarah lay in bed smiling at him and reaching her hands out to him, and when he went to her, she kissed him.

  I love you so much ' thank you' . She looked so happy and so young with their baby in her arms. Life had been good to her finally, after so much sorrow.

  The powwaw's sister told you, you would cross the liver safely this time, he reminded her, but neither of them had been that certain of it, and it had come far too close for him to take anything for granted. I thought I was going to drown in that river before you did, he teased her. It had been a long hard night, and it hadn't been easy for her and he knew it. But she didn't complain now. She was much too happy.

  He brought her something to eat after a little while, and while she and the baby slept, he went out for a short time. He had to pick up papers in Deerfield. When she awoke, he was just returning, and he came into her bedroom smiling broadly.

  Where were you? she asked, looking worried.

  I had some papers to pick up, he said, with a look of victory in his eyes.

  What kind? she asked, trying to readjust the baby as he suckled. This was all very new to her, and she still felt a little awkward as Fran+oois helped her. He was better at this than she was. And he put a pillow beneath her arm so she could hold the baby and she thanked him. He was as happy as she was. What were you picking up? she asked him again, and he smiled at her and handed her a roll of parchment tied with leather. She opened it carefully, and smiled at him when she saw it. He had bought it. You bought the land dien. She looked at him warmly.

  It's a gift for you, Sarah. Well build a house there.

  I'm happy here. she said simply, but the land he had bought was in a splendid location.

  You deserve better. But they both knew that she didn't need another thing than she had at that moment. She had never been happier in her life, and was sure she never would be. This was heaven.

  Chapter 21

  THE BABY GREW visibly in the first two weeks after he was born, and Sarah was back on her feet by then, cooking for Fran+oois and working in the garden. She hadn't walked all the way to the waterfall yet, but she was working up to it, but other than feeling a little tired from nursing so much, she seemed completely healthy.

  That was pretty easy, she said cavalierly one day to him, and he threw a handful of berries at her with a look of amazement.

  How can you say that? You worked for twelve hours, and it's the hardest thing I've ever seen anyone do. I've seen men pull carts up mountains that looked easier than that! What do you mean easy? he teased her, but the memory of what she'd gone through had already dimmed, which was the way the Iroquois women said it should be. A woman was not supposed to remember the birth of her baby, or she would be afraid to have another. But Fran+oois was just pleased they had this one. He was not inclined to be greedy, or push her to another possible disaster. He didn't want to do anything to spoil her joy now.

  But at the end of September, he found he had to. Colonel Stockbridge rode out to see him himself, and an expedition was riding out to Ohio the following week, to see if they could finally subdue the tribes that were fighting the Army. It was always the same ones, the Shawnees, the Chickasaws, and the Miamis, led by Blue Jacket and Little Turtle. It had gone on for two years now. Everyone was afraid of a general Indian war if nothing was done to control them. And it was high time they were dealt with. Fran+oois couldn't disagree with him, but he knew how upset Sarah was going to be when he left her. The baby was only three weeks old, and this had been just what she was afraid of. And the very fact that Colonel Stockbridge had come to see him told its own story. They needed him badly in Ohio.

  As soon as he left, Fran+oois went to find her. She was out in the garden with the little papoose firmly attached to her back while she picked beans. And the baby was sleeping soundly. He only seemed to wake at the exact moment when it was time for his dinner.

  You're going, aren't you? she said with a look of anguish. She had known it the moment she saw Stock-bridge. Fran+oois didn't even have to tell her. But he had been at home for a long time, almost ten months now. It had been a year since the last attempt to subdue Blue Jacket, which had cost the lives of a hundred and eighty-three men and been completely unsuccessful. I hate Blue Jacket, she said to Fran+oois, like a pouting child, and he couldn't help smiling at her. She looked so sweet and so young and so happy, and he hated to leave her. But at least he had given her his baby. They had named him Alexandre Andre de Pellerin, after Francois's grandfather and father, and he would be the eighteenth Comte de Pellerin, Francois had told her. His Indian name was Running Pony. How soon will you go? she asked sadly.

  In five days. I need time to prepare first. He would need muskets and ammunition and warm clothes and supplies. He knew many of the men who were going, both Indian and soldiers. But to Sarah it sounded like a death sentence. All she had left was five days with Francois. She looked stricken.

  And he looked agonized when he left her. He had lain in bed with her all night, they had both stayed awake, and she couldn't seem to let go of him. He had made love to her although he knew that Indian legend said he should wait till forty days after the baby, and it had been less than thirty, but he hated so much to leave her, and he couldn't stop himself, but she didn't seem to mind it. On the contrary, she was as hungry for him as he was saddened to leave her.

  She stood outside the house and cried when he left, and she had a terrible feeling about what would happen. It was like a horrible premonition flying over her. It had to do with Blue Jacket and Little Turtle, and she was completely convinced that something terrible was going to happen. And it did. But not to him. The Shawnees and the Miamis overran Major General St. Clair's encampment three weeks later and left six hundred and thirty men dead and nearly three hundred wounded. It was the worst disaster the Army had suffered. And St. Clair was disgraced when everyone blamed him. It had been poor strategy and miserably handled. And for more than a month Sarah had no idea if Fran+oois had survived it. She was frantic. And it was after Thanksgiving when she finally heard that he was alive and on his way home from Ohio. A party of men had arrived back at the Deerfield garrison before he did, but they assured her he wasn't wounded, and told her he would be home before Christmas.

  She was wearing the papoose on her back the day he arrived and she looked like an Indian squaw, as she came out of the smok
ehouse. She heard hoofbeats, and before she could even turn around, he had dismounted and grabbed her in his arms. He looked tired and thinner, but he was safe, and he had terrible stories to tell her. He didn't know what could be done to control the unrest. And to complicate matters, the British had built a new post below Detroit on the Maumee River, in violation of the Treaty of Paris. But he was so happy to see his bride that he no longer cared what Blue Jacket did in retaliation. He was home now, and she was thrilled to have him.

  And on Christmas, she told him the news, but he had already suspected it. They were having another baby. It would be born in July, and he wanted to start building their new house long before that. He had spent hours at the camp fires drawing up plans and making little drawings, and he began hiring men in Shelburne almost as soon as he got home from Ohio. They would start the moment the snow melted, and hoped to be in before winter.

  Little Alexandre was nearly four months old by then, and Sarah had never before looked so happy. Fran+oois loved playing with him and wore the papoose himself sometimes, particularly when he took him riding with him. He was spending a lot of time in Shelbume, commissioning people to make things for their new home, and writing to cabinetmakers for furniture in Connecticut, Delaware, and Boston. He took the project very seriously, and by spring, he finally had Sarah excited about it.

  They had just begun to break ground, when a man came to Shelburne, looking for her. He appeared at the farm unexpectedly as they rode home with the baby from the site of the new house. He was waiting outside the house and he didn't look pleasant. And he reminded Sarah vaguely of the lawyer who had come to see her from Boston, which was precisely what this man was. He was Walker Johnston's partner. But Johnston was still talking about the Indian attack that had occurred when he last came to see her. He said he had barely gotten out with his scalp, but never explained why he had fled, leaving her to fight the Indians herself, or how she had survived it. But this man was even more unpleasant. His name was Sebastian Mosley. And she wondered if his coming to see her had anything to do with the smallpox epidemic in Boston. It was a good place not to be now. But his visit had nothing to do with that, and he had no papers for her to sign this time. He had simply come to tell her that her husband had died. And she looked up at Fran+oois as he said it. She had no other husband. As far as she was concerned Edward no longer existed. But Sebastian Mosley had come to tell her that the Earl of Balfour had been killed in an unfortunate hunting accident, and although he had intended to recognize one of his ' er ' ah ' illegitimate children, the attorney said uncomfortably, and the papers had been drawn up to do so, apparently his lordship had neglected to sign them, and his untimely death had been quite unexpected. It was apparently a complicated legal situation now, because she had waived all right to his inheritance, but by dying intestate, he brought that document into question, and there was no one else to leave either his land or his fortune to, since he had no legitimate children. The lawyer did not tell her that he had fourteen bastards. But what he wanted to know from her was whether she wished to contest the document she had signed a year and a half before. But for Sarah, it was extremely simple. She didn't have much, but she had everything she wanted.