A Date with Desire

by Heather McGovern

  “But with the job and everything else, you couldn’t.”

  “I was making it worse.” But how could she deal with her father being gone? The one person who cared and let her be, was gone forever. Who had the tools to handle that?

  She sure didn’t. But she could live in denial like a champ. Her mother taught her that very well. Even at Honeywilde, she’d been adept at denial. Life was easier when you didn’t think about it.

  “After his funeral, I went right back to work, thinking—I don’t know what I was thinking, but buried myself in it, and my work suffered, I suffered. I lost bid after bid, no new accounts, and that caused more stress and more hours. Then, I blacked out in a copy room. Because I’m a mess.”

  “You’re allowed to be a mess.”

  No, she wasn’t. She lifted her face and met his gaze. “I’ve never been allowed to be a mess. Ever.”

  Something hard flashed in his eyes as he worked his jaw. “Well, now you can. You’ve heard how screwed up I am, and you’re not even close.”

  “You don’t want me dumping problems on you though. We’re supposed to be having fun. Talking about this definitely isn’t fun and—”

  He cut her off with a quick, firm kiss on the lips. When he pulled away, his face was set. Determined. “It’s okay if you need to talk about this. I can be . . . I’m here to listen.”

  The hesitancy in his voice was obvious, but he looked sure. And with Devlin, maybe she’d be able to say more. Not about her father being gone, but everything else about him. The real him, the parts she wasn’t allowed to remember and miss because her mother didn’t want to hear it.

  “Were you close?” Dev asked. “You and your dad?”

  She nodded, wiping her nose. “We understood each other. He was strict and he expected a lot, good grades, behavior, but he loved me. He let me be me.”

  Moments flashed, making a smile tug at her lips. “He loved the mountains. Loved coming up here to drive on the parkway. We never made it to Windamere, but we’d drive all around here in the fall, pick apples, buy random stuff at little shops. He’d say we needed a break from work and school, and we’d hop in the car.”

  Her smile hurt, the memory still fresh enough to be yesterday.

  “I moved away for college, and stayed away when I started working, but we still talked. I taught him how to text, to keep in touch, and he was one of those one-long-text texters. He’d write an entire letter via text, all about what’d happened that week. My phone would blow up while I was in meetings and there’d be ten texts from his one long story. It was funny because, you know, dads.”

  Dev’s arm tensed around her. “Yeah. I’m not close to my dad, but I think I know what you mean.”

  Anna eased back, but didn’t leave the shelter of Dev’s arms.

  Devlin wasn’t close to his father? This from someone who worked with and was obviously tight with his family?

  “I figured your whole family was tight.”

  This drew a dry laugh from Dev.

  “I know you said you and Roark bicker, but that’s normal for siblings. I assumed you were all one big happy family, if you run a resort together.”

  “Hardly.” Another puff of laughter. “I mean, we’re better now. We had that huge wedding here in the fall, but I wouldn’t say we’re one big happy family.”

  That was at least the second time he’d mentioned his family being better now. Meaning at some time before, they were worse, but he never went into any detail.

  “The other day you seemed to be getting along great, chasing that dog.”

  “We get along okay now. For the most part. Took time to get here, but we manage.” His gaze drifted to her hair, and he smoothed his hand over the messy strands. “We’re family.”

  Dev curled his lips in and nodded, stating these facts as accepted life truths. But his eyes told a different story.

  Sadness hovered in the pale blue, strain pulling tight lines in the corners. The vulnerability in his eyes, talking about such things, spilled into that raw place inside her. She wished he’d say more, and tell her why his eyes held sadness. The other day at the tackle shop, Dev’s past popped up, but he refused to say more, and she hadn’t wanted to pester him.

  She shouldn’t expect him to open up and spill the truth, simply because she’d done so. There were parts of Dev he kept tucked away, and their time together was finite. One day she’d leave, and that left no grounds for her insisting he tell her more.

  It didn’t stop her from wishing though. Wishing he’d be completely honest, share more of the imperfect parts from his past, so she’d know she wasn’t the only one who was messed up.

  “And Roark and I . . . we bicker because we’re two different people, with two very different opinions. Sometimes we get along fine. Other times, we . . .” He shook his head. “It’s complicated.”

  “I have one of those too. My mother.” Who she needed to go see. She’d been a couple of hours from her mom’s house for over a week now, and still hadn’t visited.

  If she was strong enough to open up and talk about her father’s death, surely she was strong enough to handle a visit with her mother.

  Putting it off would only make things worse once she got there. She’d already missed Mother’s Day, but now she had to face her mom and the loss that hung between them. The two of them seeing eye to eye would never happen, but they were mother and daughter, and they hadn’t spoken since the funeral. Seven months ago.

  “I need to go to Fort Mill. My mom is there and I haven’t spoken to her since right after Dad died.”

  Dev tucked strands of her messy hair behind her ear. “I’d wondered what made you look so uneasy about going home.”

  “That would be why. Visiting with her is . . . challenging.” To say the least. “But I need to go.”

  “Today?” His eyebrows notched together.

  “No. God, no. I need a day to emotionally prepare. I’ll go tomorrow.”

  “Good.”

  “I doubt very much it will be, but I’m going anyway.”

  “No, good that you’re not going today. I have a little more free time this morning, and I’d like to spend it with you.” He leaned forward, skimming his lips over hers.

  That sounded ideal.

  “And . . . I’m sorry to hear about your dad.” The sincerity and softness in his gaze could’ve brought fresh tears, but he kissed her again.

  “I thought we were having coffee.”

  With a quick glance at the coffee mugs, he frowned. “That was fifteen minutes ago. I don’t like cold coffee.”

  “Me either.”

  “I know another good way to wake up though.” He caressed her neck with the tips of his fingers, brushing them down, over her shoulder. “And a great way to make us feel better.”

  She bet he did, and after cracking open the vault on all she kept locked up, spilling it out into the bright daylight to show him, she needed his touch. The reminder that even if she was messed up, she could still feel, and one day she might be okay.

  The day they met, Dev said he could fix anything.

  With her whole body, she would show him that if he was damaged too, that was okay. She didn’t mind. They might both be a little broken, but neither of them was beyond repair.

  Chapter 18

  The next morning, Dev had a manila envelope in his mail slot. No return address.

  He tore it open and pulled out three pages of what appeared to be a ledger book, printed from accounting software.

  The account held no title, no number, no defining features at all except a date of three years ago. Then he reached the middle of the page.

  D. Delights

  Tool & Tackle

  Mtn View Café

  Next to the business names were credit amounts. Five hundred, seven hundred, all different, and beside them the notation BB Festival.

  Their payments to participate in the festival.

  But Della had made it clear she was charged a thousand dollars the la
st few years of the event. If that was true, was this evidence that the board only deposited portions of that money?

  Where’d the rest of their payments go? And who’d mailed him this information? The only people who knew he’d been to the tourism office were Anna, Crawford, and Ms. Hendricks. Of the three, only one person was in the position and had the disposition to help him.

  “Dev, we’ve got five minutes.” Sophie passed him on her way to the front.

  He put the papers back in the envelope and folded it into his back pocket. Regardless of what the mail meant, he had to face his family and tell them what he’d done to get the ball rolling on the Blueberry Festival.

  He ended up facing his family, and then some.

  “Devlin.” Madison jumped to her feet as soon as he got to Roark’s office.

  Since business had picked up at the resort, their meetings moved from the great room. Dev wasn’t overly fond of the new location—it lacked a coffee trolley and his favorite spot on the couch, but he picked his battles.

  “I haven’t seen you in weeks.” She gave him a big smile and a brief hug.

  Madison had come a long way from her first days at Honeywilde. Always professionally polite, the woman had a hard outer coating that didn’t crack until Roark got his shit together and told her he loved her. Since then, every time Dev was around her, she had warmed up a little bit more.

  Which was good. Because if she and Roark kept going the way they were going, she’d end up being family too.

  God. Married to Roark.

  He loved his brother, but Roark could be such a control freak. How Madison stood him was beyond understanding.

  Then again, Madison loved Roark and his weird little ways, and she could get through to him like no one else ever could. She made him more tolerable and, from early on, she had a way of making Roark agreeable.

  Hell, he’d agreed to host a huge rock-star wedding with less than a month’s notice. His overcautious brother, Roark, hosting a rock-star wedding. Hell, if he did that, maybe there was hope for the festival.

  If Madison thought something was a good idea, Roark was likely to go along with it.

  “I’ve been busier than usual,” he told her, a genius idea taking form.

  “Busy is good. That’s what you wanted.”

  During the wedding, Madison saw how much Dev wanted in on making things happen at the resort, and she’d been the one to give Roark the nudge needed to make it happen.

  “Exactly what I want, and I’m working on getting the Blueberry Festival back for this summer. In downtown Windamere.”

  “That’s great.” She beamed. “How are things going?”

  “Good so far. Roark still isn’t sold on the idea though.”

  “He rarely is. Sometimes you’re best served to keep moving forward and let him sell himself.”

  A sound strategy. “But other than getting Roark on board, it’s going great.”

  “Must be, you look better than the last time I saw you.”

  He scowled, teasing her. “Thanks?”

  “Not like that.” She scowled back. “Like you’ve gotten rest or sun or something.”

  He hadn’t been resting. When he wasn’t working, he was with Anna. Today was the first day they’d spent apart. Being around her was good for him; he couldn’t deny it . . . even if he couldn’t admit it.

  Madison studied him, her keen green gaze dissecting everything. “There’s something else though. Besides the suntan.”

  He shrugged.

  “Maybe it’s the lack of snark.”

  Hell. He hadn’t said one snarky thing yet this morning. “I’ve only had one cup of coffee. I’m working up to it.”

  “Then let’s get some before Roark starts talking.”

  They walked out to the great room, poured their coffee, and Dev told her a little bit more about the festival, carefully leaving out any mention of his cohort.

  “Morning.” Roark met them when they got back to his office, looking like he’d been up for hours.

  Knowing him, he’d already run ten miles and done a load of laundry.

  Sophie, looking crankier than usual, shuffled in with her coffee, grunted, and sat next to Dev.

  “What’s up with you?” Dev whispered.

  “Don’t ask.”

  He wouldn’t. He knew better. Sophie had the best disposition of the lot of them, but when she was in a mood, you let her be.

  The only problem being, he needed her support on this. He needed her upbeat and positive when he told everyone his plan and what he’d been up to.

  A moment later, Trevor joined them, quietly grabbing the empty seat on the other side of Devlin.

  “Morning,” Dev tried.

  Trevor gave him a silent nod.

  This was bad. Worse than bad. If everyone’s day had already gone to crap before 8:00 a.m., how the hell was he supposed to get them stoked about the festival and his plan?

  Roark gave Madison a quick wink—which he probably thought no one saw, because Roark thought he was smooth like that—and pulled his chair up to his desk. “What’s everyone got on their agenda today?”

  Dev waited. Surely someone had something on their agenda to break the ice.

  The room remained as quiet as a tomb.

  “Okay, then there are a few things we need to get done before the weekend.”

  “I have something.” Dev got the words out before he could back out. If he didn’t speak up before Roark got on a roll, he’d lose his opportunity.

  Anna’s words marched through his mind, reminding him why this might work.

  Your ideas are not crap. You can pull this off, but you have to try.

  “I went by the tourism board’s office the other day, to get those numbers you asked for.”

  Roark leaned forward in his chair. “You did?”

  Next to him, Sophie was suddenly a lot more alert.

  “You said you wanted to see them, so I tried to get them.”

  “Okay. And . . . how did it go?”

  “About as good as you might think. The guy took one look at me and said they weren’t available, but he might be able to find something in a few months. Basically, I could kiss his ass, I wasn’t getting any information.”

  “Why wouldn’t he give you anything? That’s weird.” Sophie scrunched her nose.

  “I thought so too.”

  “The folks in the tourism office are weird. I wish I’d known you were going.” Roark gave him a look, laden with something Dev couldn’t comprehend.

  “I was trying to get the ball rolling and surprise you.”

  “Maybe, if we get the information within the next few months, we can shoot for the festival next year.”

  Of course that’s what Roark would say. Be safe, be patient, and wait on all the T’s and I’s to be perfect.

  Before, Dev would’ve caved, figuring Roark’s way was the right way—and plenty of times his way was correct. But sometimes, Dev’s way made more sense. Sometimes you had to take a little risk and try, in order to be rewarded.

  “Actually, we don’t have to wait until next year, and we don’t have to wait on the tourism board to get us any numbers.”

  Roark sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. The action was subtle, but since Dev expected as much, he couldn’t miss it. “I told you, we can’t sink money into something that has a reputation for failing. I know the town loves it, I always enjoyed it too, but the city bled money on this event for years, which is why they stopped having it. We can’t afford that kind of loss. Not right now, maybe not ever.”

  “Well, I did a little research of my own, and the town loves the festival because all the businesses make a ton of money, every year. The city claims it’s a loser, but the locals don’t agree. Until the last couple of years, vendors said they made big profits. The people in town love the festival. Only recently did it become a burden to anyone.”

  Roark frowned. “That doesn’t gee haw.”

  “I know.”

 
“But until I can see something, some kind of proof, we’re not sponsoring the festival. It’s a huge responsibility and we aren’t in a position to take it on.”

  “But—”

  “No.” Roark gave him a hard look, caught somewhere between frustration and a plea to let this go. “Dev, no. We can’t.”

  His insides knotted up at the strain in his brother’s eyes. Too familiar, from not so long ago. When Dev wanted to leave the resort altogether, before he got his life on track, and figured they’d all be better off without him.

  Dev, no. I’m not letting you walk out of here. I can’t. You’re my brother. We’ll figure this out together.

  Roark always had his back, from the time they were little to the time Dev came home with nothing.

  You’re going to stay here and help me. We’ll have to be smarter and more careful than Mom and Dad, but this resort is home. Our home. You’re not going anywhere.

  But Roark could never see that sometimes his idea of having Dev’s back meant holding him back.

  “Now.” Roark lifted his eyebrows and blinked at the surface of his desk. “I wanted to discuss the stand-alone dock and beach . . .” He scrubbed at the back of his neck, the storm of emotions gathering around him as close as they did Dev.

  The rest of the family looked on, wide-eyed and waiting, because they knew. This was how bad things started between them. From butting heads when they were kids to not even speaking when he got thrown out of college. Sometimes their disagreements were bad, sometimes they were horrible, but they rarely surprised anyone.

  All of them suffered through their arguments, not only Dev and Roark.

  “Beach rejuvenation,” Madison offered.

  “Yes. Beach rejuvenation.” Roark’s face went pink, a sure sign he was aggravated. “Thank you. We need to talk about how much it’s going to cost to bring in more sand, fix the dock, and whether we need to spend that kind of money right now.”