The Girl Who Chased the Moon

by Sarah Addison Allen

She squared her shoulders and backed farther into the open park. “Come down here, Win.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  He walked back down and his skin started burning again. He looked ready to bolt back up the steps if necessary. She held her ground, even though her stomach was leaping.

  When he finally made it to her, she reached out and took his hand in hers right away, to steady herself as much as him. She was surprised that his hand was simply warm, as warm as it always was, not scorching hot. “Does it hurt?” she asked.

  “No.”

  She swallowed. She was trembling. Could he feel it? “I think it’s beautiful. I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

  He stood there, glowing like the sun, and stared at her like she was the unbelievable one. He angled closer to her, and the closer he came, the more the glowing seemed to stretch out to her. It felt like walking into sunshine from the shade. His light surrounded them both, jumping around as if saying, Together, together, now! She saw him tilt his head slightly.

  He’s going to kiss me, she suddenly thought. She knew it in a way she couldn’t explain. Like how you know a certain day is going to be good the moment you wake up. She’d thought about this a lot, more than she cared to admit, but somehow she’d never imagined it quite like this. It was nothing like she’d expected. And yet… it was strangely perfect.

  But before it could happen, they jerked away from each other, startled, when they heard quick footsteps. Win’s sister was running across the park toward them.

  “Win! What are you doing?” Kylie said breathlessly, skidding to a stop on the dewy grass. “Dad wants you to come back inside. Right now.”

  Emily and Win exchanged glances. She wasn’t used to seeing him this unsure. “What happens now?” Emily asked.

  “Now we deal with the consequences and move on. Just like last time, only-”

  “Better,” she finished for him.

  He touched her cheek and smiled, then ran across the park toward his house. Emily and Kylie watched him go. What a ravishing sight he was.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Kylie said.

  Emily turned to her warily, surprised she was being so nice to her now. “Yes,” she said softly.

  “I would love to do what he does. He has no idea.” Kylie paused. “All my life, I’ve heard stories of that night with my uncle and your mother. I thought you’d be like her. I’m glad you’re not.” She smiled, like she’d just given a compliment. Emily took it in the spirit it was intended, but would never get used to how the town thought of her mother, even now. The broken circle of history should have let all the animosity pour out. But it didn’t. Emily might fit in here now. Her mother never would, though. “I better go see what’s going on in there. I’ll see you around. With Win, no doubt.”

  With no light to her skin, Kylie soon faded into the night. Emily stood there for a while before finally walking home.

  EMILY WOKE to the sound of someone pounding on the front door. She sat up quickly. She’d been too stunned, too exhausted, to turn on her MP3 player before she’d gone to bed. When she looked around, the new phases-of-the-moon wallpaper took her aback for a moment. That’s when it all came rushing back to her, everything she’d seen last night.

  He glowed.

  Then, out of nowhere, the thought: He almost kissed me.

  The pounding continued and Emily climbed out of bed. She’d slept in her clothes, so she immediately jogged to her bedroom door and down the stairs.

  To her surprise, the first thing she noticed was that the front door was closed. Vance usually left it open when he went to breakfast. She’d just reached the bottom stair when the accordion door to Vance’s room swung open. Grandpa Vance walked out, comb marks still in his wet hair. He hadn’t left for breakfast yet. How early was it?

  Vance didn’t notice her on the staircase as he walked to the front door and unlocked it.

  “We need to talk,” Morgan Coffey said from the porch. His white linen suit was rumpled, like he’d been wearing it all night. His dark hair, normally gelled, was falling across his forehead. It made him look younger, more like Win.

  “Morgan?” Vance said, obviously surprised. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

  “Believe me, I would have been here earlier, but I had to wait until light.”

  “Come in.” Vance stepped back and Morgan entered the foyer. “What’s wrong?”

  Morgan noticed Emily right away and stiffened. His hatred rushed at her in one great wave. She actually took a step back up the staircase. “I take it your granddaughter hasn’t told you yet,” he said, nudging his chin at her. His stare was so hard that Vance put himself between them, as if protecting her. “Why did you let her come here in the first place, Vance? Hasn’t your family done enough to hurt mine?”

  “What happened?” Vance demanded.

  “It happened,” Morgan said. “Your granddaughter lured my son into the park last night. Just like last time.”

  “Emily had nothing to do with it,” Win said from the porch. He opened the screen door and stepped inside. “I asked her to meet me there. And it was nothing like last time. Emily and I were the only two in the park.”

  “I told you to stay at home,” Morgan said.

  “This has to do with me. I am going to be here for it.”

  Grandpa Vance looked confused. He turned to her. “Emily?”

  “I thought I would show up and he would do something to humiliate me, to get back at my mom for what she did. I didn’t believe him when he said he glowed. I didn’t believe him when he said to meet him and he’d show me.”

  “Child, why did you go if you thought he was going to humiliate you?” Vance asked incredulously.

  “I thought it would help make up for-”

  Vance held up one skillet-sized hand. “Stop, stop right there. You don’t have to make up for anything your mother did. Morgan, this ends now.”

  “You’re letting her off the hook, just like you did your daughter.”

  Grandpa Vance’s face tightened. He was angry. And an angry giant was a sight to behold. “I never made excuses for Dulcie, and I have always accepted blame for what happened, for not being able to control her. But listen to me well, my granddaughter is not Dulcie and I will not have her treated this way.”

  Morgan cleared his throat. “I’d feel more comfortable if you sat down, Vance.”

  Vance didn’t give an inch. “No one is ever comfortable around me. You, of all people, should know how that feels.”

  “I want her to stay away from my son.”

  “I’ve been watching your son in the woods behind my house for a while now. Emily staying away from him isn’t the problem,” Vance said pointedly.

  Morgan shot an angry look at Win.

  “You can’t make me stay away from her,” Win said.

  “Did you learn nothing from your uncle?” Morgan asked him.

  “Yes, I did. I learned from him that it takes courage to love someone your family doesn’t approve of.”

  “You don’t seriously love this girl,” Morgan said with clear disbelief.

  Emily couldn’t take her eyes off him. He loved her? But Win simply stared at his father, a power struggle going on.

  “My brother committed suicide because of her family,” Morgan told Win. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

  “It was his decision,” Win said, and she was amazed by how composed he was. Morgan Coffey was a force to be reckoned with, but so was Win. She wondered if Morgan knew that, if he understood. So much that was incredible about Win seemed to be because of his father. “But I think ignoring what he sacrificed is stupid. He gave us an opportunity to live normal lives here.”

  “My life has not been normal since it happened! Your mother has never forgiven me for not telling her.”

  “And you want the same for me? I wanted to show her. I didn’t want it to be a secret. And the world didn’t end. She didn’t rej
ect me, Dad. This isn’t you and Mom. This isn’t Dulcie and Logan. This is me and Emily. It’s an entirely different story.”

  In the silence that followed, Vance said, “Let them live their lives without our baggage, Morgan.”

  But Morgan wasn’t going to let it go. He pointed to Emily. “Your daughter lured my brother into that park that night! She tricked him! She ruined everything.”

  “Lower your hand, Morgan,” Vance said. “I’ll say this only once more. My granddaughter is not Dulcie, and I will not tolerate you blaming her for her mother’s sins.”

  “And what are you going to do about it?”

  Vance took a single step toward him. “I’m going to tell the truth. You’ve made Logan and your family out to be the victims, and I let it happen because Dulcie wanted it that way. She left knowing she would be vilified. She left to make things easier on you, which was the first selfless thing she’d ever done.”

  Emily, who had been staring at Win all this time, suddenly turned her head sharply. “What are you talking about, Grandpa Vance?”

  “Let’s go, Win,” Morgan said quickly.

  “No, I want to hear this.”

  “Logan was troubled long before Dulcie came into his life,” Vance said. “He’d tried to commit suicide several times, something no one but his family knew. But Logan told Dulcie. He and your mother were in love. At least, your mother was in love with him. I’d never seen her like that before. All over town, she carved their initials onto every wooden surface she could find.”

  “Wait, Mom carved those initials?” Emily asked. “Not Logan?”

  He nodded. “She was smitten. She was usually such a forceful girl, always getting her way, but she was very deferential to Logan. He was very shy in public, but he could control her like no one else in private. Knowing how angry it would make her, he told Dulcie that they couldn’t be together because his family didn’t approve of her. He said his family had too many secrets and wouldn’t let him marry just anyone. But there was a solution, he told her. So Dulcie went along with inviting everyone in town to a so-called performance by her, aware that it was a ruse, an opportunity for Logan to come out at night in front of the whole town. But she thought it was simply going to be his symbolic declaration of love for her. Dulcie had no idea that the reason the Coffeys didn’t come out at night was because they glowed. She thought, as we all did, it was just one more thing they did to keep themselves elite, to keep themselves separate from the middle-class masses in town. In fact, I can still remember when several of the more important families in town wouldn’t come out at night just because the Coffeys didn’t.”

  “She didn’t trick him?” Emily asked.

  “If anything, he tricked her. Dulcie was as stunned as the rest of us. Logan reached out to her after it happened, but she didn’t want to talk to him. I don’t know if it was his plan all along to commit suicide after he exposed his family’s secret, or if he was just overcome with remorse afterward, possibly fueled by Dulcie’s rejection. Only his family knows that. I do know he wanted to reveal himself. He wanted people to know.”

  Emily couldn’t help but think of the parallel to Win. His family had obviously been trying for acceptance for who they really were for generations.

  Morgan’s face had raspberry-red splotches on it now. “No one is going to believe you. They’ll never believe Dulcie was an innocent party. And I will always maintain that she could have stopped him. She could have stopped him from stepping out onto that bandstand. She could have stopped him from killing himself. He did love her. He gave her that family heirloom.” He pointed to Emily’s wrist, to the charm bracelet. Emily automatically put her hand over it. “Our mother gave it to him to give to the woman he married, like it had been given to her on her wedding night. That he gave it to Dulcie had to mean something But if he had fallen for someone less selfish, and more sympathetic, he might be alive today. Our secret might still be a secret. The way it was always meant to be.”

  “Emily knows the truth now,” Grandpa Vance said calmly. “That’s all that matters. I have no intention of telling anyone else.”

  She didn’t know why it was so important for Morgan to have people believe his brother was tricked. Maybe it made dealing with the death of his brother easier. Or maybe it helped his family, knowing the town didn’t think Logan was troubled or manipulative. It could only help, she thought, that there wasn’t a stigma like that attached to their glowing. It probably made it easier for the town to accept what they’d seen, to sympathize. Emily realized that her mother had known this. That’s why she’d taken the blame. And it had been her first step into the life of someone different. “I won’t tell anyone, either,” she said.

  Morgan turned to Win. “I’ll think about it,” Win said.

  “You’ll think about it at home. You’re grounded.”

  Morgan turned and walked to the front door. He held the screen door open for Win. But Win walked over to Vance. “I’d like to take your granddaughter on a date when my punishment is over, if I have your permission.” Win held out his hand.

  “Win!” Morgan said.

  Vance seemed as surprised as Morgan, but he slowly held out his hand and shook Win’s.

  “Win! Now!”

  Win turned, but not before he looked up at Emily, who was still on the staircase, and said, “I’ll see you soon?”

  She nodded. He gave her a reassuring smile, then turned and left.

  Morgan let the screen slap shut loudly behind them.

  Emily and Vance didn’t move for a few moments, both of them staring at the door. Emily finally turned to her grandfather. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth from the beginning?”

  “She made me swear not to tell anyone.” He looked tired. He walked to the staircase and sat on the stairs, sinking like an anchor. She was still standing, but he was so large that he was taller than she was, even when he sat. “Lily had a cousin who lived in San Diego. I arranged for Dulcie to live with her. To go to school there. I gave her a large chunk of cash, and she left the day before Logan’s funeral. She tried to make it work, but I don’t think she knew where she fit in after what happened. She quit school after a few months. A few months later she ran away. I got postcards for a couple of years. Then nothing.”

  “Why didn’t you look for her?” Emily said.

  He shrugged. “Because I knew she didn’t want to be found. She knew that if she contacted me, I would give her anything. But she didn’t want that anymore. A good, decent life for her was only possible if she left everything behind. The Coffeys, Mullaby… me.”

  “She could have come back and told the truth!” Emily said. “And then everyone would have seen what a good person she became. She could have been redeemed.”

  “I think she found redemption in other ways,” Grandpa Vance said, looking down at his clasped hands. “When she left, she told me that when she had children, she would never raise them the way I raised her. She said she would teach them responsibility. She said her children would be nothing like her. I like to think that at some point in her life she forgave me. But I deserve it if she didn’t.” He took a deep breath. “One thing is for sure, she did raise a remarkable daughter.”

  Emily paused, then sat beside him on the steps. She put her hand on his. “So did you, Grandpa Vance,” she said.

  And for the very first time, she thought maybe it was okay that they were the only two people here who knew that.

  The point was, they knew.

  VANCE DEBATED whether or not to go to breakfast that morning, but ultimately decided to go because he didn’t want to answer questions about his absence. No one had to know what had occurred that morning.

  When he came in from breakfast a few hours later, he was exhausted, and not his normal exhaustion, the kind he felt minute by minute. The tension from the confrontation with Morgan had manifested itself into a feeling of having survived a collision. His neck muscles ached and his joints were stiff. He was more than ready to lie down and take
a nap.

  But instead of going straight to his room, he went to check the dryer.

  He hadn’t meant to get so angry at Morgan. He didn’t often get angry at other people. There was no sense in it. The person you were angry at was rarely ever repentant. Now, getting angry with yourself had some merit. It showed you had sense enough to chastise the one person who had any hope of benefiting from it. And he was plenty angry with himself.

  For many, many things.

  For letting this go too far. For living too much in the past. For not being a better parent to Dulcie. For missing so much of Emily’s life already.

  He walked to the laundry room and opened the dryer. He reached down, bending at the hip, and tried not to groan at the effort. He felt like such a small man, carrying around a body that was too big for him.

  He reached in and expected to feel the smooth, cool curve of the dryer drum. Instead, his fingers brushed something slimy. Something that moved.

  He jerked his hand away and stumbled back.

  Out jumped a large frog.

  He stared at it, frozen.

  He watched it hop to the laundry room door, and for a moment he expected to see Lily’s shoes. His eyes actually traveled up, hoping she would appear, standing there, laughing, like she had last time.

  But no one was there.

  He looked back down and saw that the frog was gone. He quickly stepped out of the room, and when he crossed through the doorway, he felt like he’d walked through a fragrant breeze. His hair even moved. The sleeves of his shirt billowed.

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

  Lily.

  The air was sprinkled with her spirit. He stood still for a long time, not wanting to lose her. He took deep breaths, his heart aching as, with each breath, the scent faded.

  And she was gone again.

  When he opened his eyes, he saw the frog sitting at the kitchen door. It turned and wiggled through a tear in the screen. Vance automatically followed.

  He opened the screen door to see the frog hop across the backyard. He walked after it, all the way to the back of the property. The frog stopped at the gazebo and stared at him.