by Val Wood
‘What you have to realize, son,’ Johnny said, ‘is that when I joined ’military I didn’t expect to go abroad so soon, or that I would travel so far away. I knew that I would probably go to Ireland as there’s allus trouble there, but I was ignorant, I suppose, of what ’army did or where it went. At that time, your ma and me didn’t have any money; there weren’t many jobs out in ’country and folks were going into towns to look for work. The army seemed exciting; I’d get food and clothing and pay every month. But I was wrong,’ he admitted. ‘It’s a life for a single man, not for one wi’ a wife and childre’. But I’ve got a bit o’ money now, some of my back pay, and …’ On second thoughts he decided he wouldn’t tell Ted of the amber he’d sold. That was for Lily’s ears, if ever he found her.
‘What we’ll do in ’morning, Ted,’ he said, before settling down to sleep, ‘is make a contingency plan. We’ll talk about where your ma is likely to be. She’ll probably still be in Hull. If she’d come back somebody over at Hollym would have heard about it, but as it was they thought you’d all been drowned.’
‘She is still in Hull,’ Ted said urgently. ‘And I know where Daisy is,’ he added eagerly. ‘I know where she works. I’ve seen ’shop.’
‘Daisy working,’ Johnny murmured. ‘That little bairn! I can’t believe that I’ve been away so long!’
‘You have, Da!’
They grinned at each other then, at the acknowledgement that they were father and son. Ted reached out his hand to Johnny, who took it and squeezed it. ‘Goodnight, son.’
‘Goodnight, Da!’
The next morning Mrs Ward gave them a good breakfast of eggs and bacon, and then packed up a parcel of bread and beef to sustain them on their journey into Hull. ‘I wish you luck,’ she said, ‘and hope to see you back in Holderness with your wife.’
Johnny thanked her, but when John Ward came to see them off he asked him in a quiet voice, ‘Where will I find Billy Fowler? I need to see him before I set off for Hull.’
John Ward looked dubious. ‘You won’t do owt you’ll regret, will you? I’ve no regard for him, never have had, and what he did to his wife was despicable; but I’m onny thinking that if you should set about him it’d not be good. You’d find yoursen in trouble wi’ ’law.’
‘I won’t,’ Johnny assured him. ‘But I need to find out why he did what he did.’ And I want to take a look at him, he thought. To find out why Lily married him.
He called on the parish clerk to find out Fowler’s address but drew a blank. The clerk told him that Fowler had been to see him asking to be rehoused. ‘But we had nowhere for him,’ he said. ‘He was after a new property, but we have none. There are great plans afoot for when ’railway line comes to Withernsea, as it will afore long – then we shall have whole roads of new houses. Withernsea will be ’Brighton of the north.’
‘Can’t see it meself,’ Ted muttered.
The clerk glowered at him. ‘Oh, yes! Mr Bannister himself is planning it. It’s been in ’newspapers so it must be right.’
‘Who’s Mr Bannister?’ Johnny asked. ‘Sorry, but I’ve been out of circulation for a bit. I’ve never heard of him.’
‘He’s ’chairman of ’railway company that’s going to build ’line! Two or three years and it’ll be here.’
‘So what about Fowler?’ Johnny persisted. ‘Do you know where he went?’
The clerk shook his head. ‘He was right mad. I told him, onny empty property we’ve got is on ’Waxholme road and that’s standing right on ’edge of ’cliff. Somehow he’d got hold of ’notion that he’d get somewhere new and he went off muttering and grumbling. So, sorry, but I’ve no idea.’
‘Don’t let’s bother,’ Ted said when they got outside. ‘He’s not worth worrying about.’
Johnny heaved a breath. ‘But what’s bothering me, Ted, is that he’s married to your ma, and I don’t know if it’s legal. Were you there? Was it in church?’
Ted nodded. ‘It was in choch, but we didn’t go, Daisy and me. He said he didn’t want us there. Didn’t want a fuss, he said, so it was going to be him and Ma and ’vicar.’
‘And nobody else?’
Ted shrugged. ‘Don’t know. Ma went right quiet after. I thought mebbe she was wishing she hadn’t done it, and then when we went to Seathorne and saw ’hovel where he lived!’ Ted screwed up his face in disgust. ‘She had to clean it out afore we could live in it.’
‘All right.’ Johnny had made up his mind. ‘We’ll go to Hull and look for them and then decide what to do after that.’
‘Do we have to walk?’ Ted said wearily. ‘Can we tek carrier? I had ’owd hoss last time but coming back I didn’t have much money, so I walked.’
Johnny grinned. ‘I think I could find a copper to pay ’carrier if he hasn’t left already. And if he has,’ he tweaked Ted’s ear, ‘then we’ll walk. It’s nowt,’ he said. ‘Just a stroll.’ He looked questioningly at Ted. ‘When did you come back? Did you get a lift?’
‘Yesterday. I’d onny just got to ’Wards’ house when you knocked on ’door. I walked from Hull and then I got a lift on a cart.’ He gazed straight at his father. ‘It wasn’t you following me, was it? Somebody was.’
Johnny grinned. ‘I rather think it might have been. I kept thinking that if I could catch up wi’ that young fellow we could have a chat while we were walking.’
Ted groaned and then he grinned too. ‘And we’d have saved ourselves a walk back from Holderness, wouldn’t we, if we’d known?’
The carrier had already left from Withernsea so they walked into Patrington where Johnny hired a horse and small cart for the rest of the journey. ‘We can bring your ma and Daisy back in this, if they want to come,’ he said as they set off.
‘Daisy likes it in Hull,’ Ted remarked gloomily. ‘She’s working for this apothecary. He lets her count tablets and run errands.’
‘How come she’s there?’ Johnny asked. ‘She’d have no references. And why didn’t she stay wi’ your ma?’
‘Daisy said he’d helped Ma when she was – when she was—’ Ted stopped in confusion. Bad enough for his father to hear that his mother had married again, but what would he say if Ted told him that Ma had been expecting Fowler’s child? What if he didn’t stay? What if he went off and they never saw him again? He half turned and searched his father’s face. He didn’t know him well enough yet to guess how he would react to that kind of news. Right now he had a frown just above his nose which made him look stern, though not aggressive as Fowler used to look if Ted said something to upset him.
‘Come on, lad,’ Johnny said patiently. ‘I’ll not bite thee. Spit it out! Whatever your ma did or didn’t do doesn’t affect you and me. I’m your da. I’ll not let you down again.’
Ted lowered his head. ‘She was expecting,’ he mumbled. ‘Daisy said that this man, this chemist, helped her to his shop cos she’d—’ He swallowed. ‘Cos she’d started to whelp ’n’ there was nobody else to help her.’
Johnny swore under his breath. ‘So Fowler took her to Hull when she was expecting a bairn and sold her! I’ll search him out,’ he muttered bitterly. ‘I’ll teach him a thing or two. And it’s labour!’ he bellowed at Ted, more in frustration than anger. ‘Not whelp. She’s not an animal, even though Fowler treated her as if she was!’
Ted jumped, then said eagerly, ‘Can I watch, Da, if you go and find him and give him a good hiding? I told you, didn’t I, that I fought wi’ him, ’n’ he went ower ’cliff!’
Johnny nodded wearily, wondering when this nightmare would end and what the outcome would be. ‘So was your ma delivered safely? Was it a healthy child?’
‘No,’ Ted said. ‘It was aborted. That’s what Daisy said anyway. And I’m glad,’ he said vehemently. ‘Cos I wouldn’t have wanted any brat of Fowler’s to be related to me!’
‘That’s enough,’ Johnny said sharply. ‘It wouldn’t have been ’bairn’s fault.’
‘No, Da.’ Ted hung his head again. ‘Sorry.’ Yet even as he apolog
ized, he felt an extraordinary exultation in his chest: that his father knew what was right and what was wrong and would tell him; and somehow Ted knew that from now on, if he was anxious or bothered about anything, he could ask without fear of the consequences, and his father would willingly advise him.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Lily’s head was reeling as Mr Walker quietly explained about his wife’s condition. ‘She has, no doubt, given you an account of how we met.’ When Lily nodded primly, he gave a wry grimace and said, ‘My version might be somewhat different.’ He explained that he had not been in practice long when he was called to a house in Leadenhall Square to give medication to a young woman. ‘There wasn’t a doctor available, and besides, they were not in a position to pay for one.’
He gave a wistful smile. ‘Martha came in whilst I was there: she took my breath away, she was so very lovely. Graceful, with a beautiful smile, and I was absolutely smitten with her, so if she’s told you that, that at least is true. I kept on calling at the house, with the excuse that I was coming to see the sick girl. Then one morning I met her in the town and invited her to come with me to a coffee shop. She put on all of her charm and I knew I had to keep on seeing her; and with a young man’s arrogance I thought I could rescue her from the life she was leading.’
He gave a deep sigh and gazed at Lily. ‘And so I did. I arranged our marriage against the advice of all my friends, and just a few weeks before we were due to be wed I realized that she was pregnant. I also knew that it wasn’t my child.’
‘Oh!’ Lily exclaimed. ‘So you did know! Mrs Walker said that you didn’t.’
‘I knew; and Oliver knows that he isn’t my son, even though I treat him as if he is.’ He smiled. ‘He’s as good as. I’ve brought him up as my own and he thinks of me as his father. But the child we lost was mine. During the pregnancy my wife began drinking and stealing medication from my medicine cupboard. She took an overdose of tablets by mistake, and it affected the child.’
He looked so sad that Lily’s heart went out to him. ‘Now she’s full of grief and anger and has lost sight of what really happened. And although at first she didn’t want Daisy anywhere near her, she has now thought up this scheme that Daisy could be a replacement for the child we lost.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Lily began, but was interrupted by a peal on the door bell. ‘A customer,’ she whispered. ‘Do you want to go out ’back way?’
He nodded. ‘Please. I might see someone I know and it would be embarrassing for both of us. I’ll speak to you again, Mrs Maddeson.’
‘Lily,’ she said softly. ‘And please tell me when I might see Daisy. But you were right – it mustn’t be here.’
‘Tomorrow,’ he said urgently. ‘By St Mary’s. Two o’clock? I’ll send her.’
There was a non-stop queue of customers that evening; all very merry and all wanting a drink and a little supper before going upstairs with the girls. They were also very generous and gave Lily gratuities on leaving as well as payment for the services of the girls, some of them whispering seductively into her ear, ‘If only you would, Miss Lily.’ But she only smiled and gently shook her head.
That night she slept in a chair at Alice’s bedside. Tomorrow I must ask Dr Fulton to call again, she thought wearily, though I don’t know how I’ll pay for all his visits. The doctor had not yet presented her with his bill and she had kept back a portion of her earnings to pay him. Leo had sent another basket of fruit and wine the day before and it sat on the side table waiting to be opened. He’s got a conscience all right, she thought wryly, before falling into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning she brought a bowl of warm water to bathe Alice, but only washed her hands and her inflamed and sensitive face as Alice was barely able to raise herself. She brought another pillow and called to Mrs Flitt to help her. They arranged the sheets and blanket and then Mrs Flitt whispered that she had to slip out. She nodded significantly at Lily, who was so tired she didn’t realize at first that she was trying to tell her she was going to fetch the doctor.
Lily busied herself about the room and then began to empty Leo’s gift basket. She took out a bottle of sherry, some apples and oranges, a box of sweet biscuits and a box of chocolates. At the bottom of the box was a white envelope with her name on it. Miss Lily.
She glanced at Alice, who was sleeping, and opened it. Dear Miss Lily, she read. The note on plain paper was written in a bold hand. Please accept this offering – she peeked inside and saw crisp banknotes – towards any comforts that Alice might need. She is a dear sweet girl and doesn’t deserve such misfortune. With best regards, L.
I suppose he couldn’t give his name, she pondered, fingering the money, and it’s almost too late, but at least we can pay the doctor, and … She didn’t dare think any further than that. Enough, she thought, to live one day at a time.
Later, after she had fed Alice some soup and had some herself, she changed into her grey gown, pinned up her hair and put on a bonnet. ‘I have to go out, Alice,’ she said softly. ‘I’m going to see Daisy. Mrs Flitt will sit with you until I come back.’ Mrs Flitt had returned with the message that Dr Fulton would call that evening.
‘I wish I could meet Daisy,’ Alice whispered. ‘I’d like to know her.’ She gave a hacking cough. ‘But you can’t bring her here, can you? It wouldn’t be right.’
I might have to, Lily thought, while telling Alice that she would rather not. What am I to do? She gazed at Mrs Flitt, who had raised her eyebrows. I’d like to go home. With both my children. But what would we do there? Where would we live? Would the parish house us? And how will I ever find Ted again?
Daisy crept into the shop. Mr Walker had told her in front of Mrs Walker that he needed her to go on an urgent errand, but then when she had put on her coat and bonnet, both of which Mrs Walker had bought her, he had told her that she was to meet her mother at St Mary’s. ‘Try not to be longer than half an hour,’ he said, ‘or Mrs Walker will want to know where you have been.’
‘Daisy.’ Oliver had been gazing out of the window. ‘I thought I saw your brother earlier, but I might have been mistaken. It was someone who looked like him, anyway.’
‘Not Ted,’ she said. ‘He’s gone to sea, hasn’t he? He said he was going to travel to foreign countries.’
‘He might have only got a short trip, say to Holland or somewhere. Would he come looking for you, do you think?’
‘No.’ Daisy sighed. ‘He’d be too nervous. He wouldn’t want to get me into trouble.’
Oliver smiled. ‘You wouldn’t be in trouble. Not with Father, at least.’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘But Mrs Walker wouldn’t like it.’ She was on the point of telling him that his mother wanted to adopt her, but then thought better of it. ‘I’d better go,’ she said. ‘I’m on an important errand.’
He grinned. ‘Yes, I know. Give your mother my good wishes!’
‘Oh!’ Sometimes she was surprised at how much Oliver knew about what was going on. His father must confide in him, she had decided. ‘Yes, I will.’ She opened the door and looked out. ‘It’s very windy. I’ll get blown away.’
Oliver nodded and gazed out of the window again. Then he frowned. ‘Look. That’s the fellow I was telling you about. Is it your brother? It looks so like him. There, sitting on the church wall talking to that man.’
Daisy looked across the square. ‘It is!’ she gasped. ‘It’s Ted! Oh, he can come with me to see Ma. She’ll be so pleased! Thank you, Oliver. Goodbye. I’ll be back soon.’
She raced across towards the church. ‘Ted! Ted! It’s me!’
Ted saw her, grinned and waved. ‘Hey up, Daisy! We’ve been waiting ages to see you.’
‘I’m going to see Ma! Mr Walker arranged it. He’s given me time off. Mrs Walker thinks I’m going on an errand. You can come with me.’
She gazed delightedly at Ted, completely ignoring the stranger by his side, who had risen off the wall and was gazing intently at her. ‘I thought you’d gone to sea
! You’ve soon come back.’
‘Onny went as far as Driffield,’ he said. ‘Took a keel, but they wanted somebody wi’ experience. Daisy—’ Ted’s face flushed and he turned to his companion.
‘Come on,’ she said impatiently. ‘I don’t want Mrs Walker to see me. She might look out of ’window. Besides, Ma will be waiting. I’m to meet her by ’church.’
‘Yes, but …’ Ted followed as Daisy moved off, his companion following also. ‘Daisy, wait. I want to tell you summat.’
‘What?’ She turned when they were out of sight of the shop window and at last looked curiously at the man standing beside Ted.
‘You don’t know who this is, Daisy?’ Ted’s face was now bright red.
She shook her head. ‘No. Are you a seaman?’ she asked the man.
‘No, I was a soldier.’ Johnny blinked. He could scarcely believe that the child he had left behind had grown up almost to the brink of womanhood. ‘I’ve been away a long time, Daisy. A lot of years.’
‘Oh!’ She wasn’t very interested. She wanted to get to her mother and she had so little time. ‘My da was a soldier. He was killed.’
‘No, he wasn’t!’ Ted was almost shouting. ‘He’s here! This is our da, Daisy.’
Daisy went so white that Johnny thought she was going to faint and took a step towards her. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked frightened. ‘He’s not!’ she said. ‘Don’t you fib, Ted Maddeson. My ma said he was dead!’ She clutched her arms about her. ‘I’ve got to go.’ She turned round and sped off.
‘Keep up with her!’ Johnny said urgently. ‘We shan’t know where she’s going otherwise.’
‘She said she was going to ’choch,’ Ted puffed. ‘But not this big one here. There’s another at ’other end of ’road.’ They could see Daisy’s skirt flying and her head bobbing as she ran.
‘I know where she’s going.’ Johnny slowed down. ‘St Mary’s. We used to march past it when I first joined ’military.’ He didn’t want to rush to his first meeting with Lily, and he hoped that Daisy wouldn’t blurt out the news. ‘You go ahead, Ted,’ he said. ‘Go meet your ma.’
