The Falling Kind

by Kennedy, Randileigh

  I wasn’t sure exactly what Grady meant by that, that now Cole had an opportunity to get out. He already tried once, but was still sucked back in. I was fairly certain that Cole needed an entirely new life to get away from his past.

  “I’m sorry about your window,” he stated, redirecting the conversation. “I did have to bust the lock to get in, but I made a temporary fix. I’ll show you before I go.”

  “And where exactly are you going?” I asked curiously. I wondered if he would be going back to wherever Cole was.

  “To right one last wrong,” he said surreptitiously. “I won’t see Cole again, if that’s what you’re wondering. He’s gone. He had to leave. I’m sure you’ll get more information tomorrow when you go to Antonio’s.”

  “What do you mean he’s gone? What does that mean?” I asked, trying not to sound somewhat hysterical.

  “I don’t know where he’s going, he wouldn’t tell me much. But I imagine you’ll find that out tomorrow. All will be fine, just have some faith,” he answered with a smile. Not a very credible thing out of a violent criminal’s mouth. “I’m glad I met you, Sydney,” he said politely, standing up from my couch. His eyes softened as he spoke. “I’m sorry for so much. For all his flaws – I know those are because of me. I am so grateful he’s found someone to love him in spite of all that. If there’s a boy who ever deserved your goodness, he’s the one.”

  He smiled at me and I blankly stared back at him. I had so many more questions for him, but I could tell he was done talking. He led me over to the window, showing me how to wedge a fork in the broken lock to keep it tight until I could get it fixed.

  “I’ll go out the back if you don’t mind,” he said softly. I nodded and he let himself out. I imagined that was the last time I would ever see Cole’s father. It felt bittersweet in a way, to meet someone that played such a powerful role in Cole’s life, even though it was such a sad story. But to see the emotion in his face when he talked about his past – I believed he did have some true regrets. No matter how bad of a man he was, I still harbored some hope deep down that perhaps someday they would have a chance to truly communicate their feelings to each other, however broken the conversation may be. There was so much healing that needed to be done, for both of them. I wondered if they would ever get to that point.

  I checked all the locks in my house before heading upstairs to bed, just to make sure there would be no more surprises tonight. I took a long warm shower and the emotion and exhaustion I was holding onto ran over me along with the stream of water. I missed Sam tremendously. I missed my mom and felt heartbroken that of all times in my life I couldn’t talk to her, I hated this is what she was missing. I needed her comfort so much. I even missed Ian in some ways - the simplicity of the way he loved me. It was never scary or complicated. It didn’t challenge me either, but in so many ways it was just easy. I was so overwhelmed by everything that I longed for ‘easy’ in this moment. But I knew with Cole that wasn’t even an option for me.

  Cole. I couldn’t get him off my mind as I lay awake in bed. I hated not knowing if he was okay. I hated the thought that he left town without me – that’s what his father had suggested. Maybe after a lifetime of people giving up on him, maybe it was finally his turn – maybe he had given up on me.

  I knew sleep wouldn’t come. The nighttime noises outside my bedroom didn’t provide any comfort. The silence in my room felt loud and chaotic and I needed a distraction. Despite the feeling in my stomach that it wasn’t a good idea, I flipped on the TV.

  “In breaking news tonight, a search is underway for several murder suspects related to an incident that occurred near Townsend Road in West Cove tonight,” the brunette female reporter said into the camera. The graphics flashed to a dark warehouse-type building with yellow police tape all around. “Several suspects are being pursued for the murder of Burton McClellan, and you are asked to call West Cove PD with any information you may have on the whereabouts of these four men…” Four mug shots appeared on the screen one by one – the first two they flashed were unrecognizable, and I felt so relieved. The third picture they posted however, it sent chills through my entire body – it was a picture of Cole’s father. I felt an immediate sense of fear all over again, knowing he was just in my apartment, alone with me, acting seemingly fine even though he may have just committed a major crime.

  The last mug shot they posted though – I froze stiff.

  Cole. It was Cole’s face on my television, with a yellow scrolling banner underneath his photo. Wanted for murder.

  I threw up in my bed.

  CHAPTER 20

  I didn’t think sleep would find me, but apparently I cried so hard that my eyes gave up and I finally passed out. I awoke at seven a.m. to a buzzing cell phone, hoping so badly that the night before was all just a dream. But the pile of dirty sheets next to me on the floor and the way my eyes felt as though I’d been punched in the face – that all enforced my reality.

  The text on the screen was from Dr. Nikki. Saw the news this morning before work. Not sure what’s going on, but please take whatever time you need. Call me if I can do anything to help.

  I immediately turned on the news, hoping for some update, particularly some confirmation they caught the real person responsible for the crime. Instead, the status was the same as the night before – all four men they showed previously were still suspects, and none of them had been found. My stomach was in knots and I wasn’t sure what to even do.

  Antonio’s. Cole told me he would communicate with me through him, and Grady confirmed that. I wasn’t sure what time I could go. They probably didn’t even open until lunch time. How would I make it until then?

  I took another shower, careful to wash off any remnants of my weak stomach from the night before. My nerves were on fire and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking as I washed my hair. I was a complete and total mess.

  Finally ten a.m. rolled around and I couldn’t wait any longer. Surely Antonio had to get to his restaurant ahead of time to prep for the day, right? I couldn’t stand waiting around my condo for another minute. I made the short ten minute drive towards West Cove, absentmindedly rubbing the silver ring attached to the necklace Cole gave me. Just you and me. Those word echoed in my brain. They were such short, simple words, but our situation did not mirror their simplicity.

  I pulled into the parking lot of Antonio’s restaurant, thankful to see one car already parked there around the back of the building. I parked mine in the front and walked up to the front door. It was still locked, but I gently knocked. Within seconds, I could see Antonio’s face in the glass.

  “Sydney,” he said warmly as he unlocked the door and let me in. “How did you know to come here?” He locked the door behind us, checking first to make sure no one had followed me into the parking lot.

  “A visitor came to my house last night,” I said cautiously, not sure how much information to give. If Cole was really a wanted criminal, I didn’t want to take my chances of giving out too much information. I wanted no part of it. “A man I’d never seen before.” That part was true. “He told me to come here for information on Cole.”

  “Well I don’t know how much information I have for you per se,” he said, sounding somewhat disappointed. “I don’t really know what happened, truth be told. I was just instructed to give you this.” He reached behind the restaurant counter and pulled out a small, metal box. I recognized it from the first night Cole took me to his house – when we laid in the back of his truck, eating tacos. It had to be the same box. “He indicated you would know what to do with this?” He held the box out to me.

  “There’s a lock on it,” I replied, taking the box from him. The lock had a three-digit number. They were currently all set to 000. “Am I supposed to open this? What’s the number?”

  “All I was told is that you would know what to do,” he shrugged. “You don’t know the number?”

  I tried thinking about it, but I didn’t recall the box even having a lock on it when
he showed it to me. How was I supposed to know the number?

  “Is he okay? What did he say?” I pried, eager for some kind of good news.

  “I don’t know the situation,” Antonio answered honestly. “Someone else dropped it off with that message.” I wanted to ask him if that person was Cole’s father, but I didn’t want to bring him into the conversation. “Look, I don’t want to rush you, but I think it’s best if you leave. There may be people coming around, asking some questions. I don’t think it would be wise for you to hang around here. Leave your number and I can contact you if I get any more information or correspondence from him, but I think that box is it.”

  I wrote my cell number down on a restaurant napkin, feeling disappointed by this entire exchange. I wanted so much more. I wanted to know Cole was okay, and more importantly where he was. I wanted to know if he had anything to do with what he was being accused of. Honestly I secretly hoped he would be there, hiding in the back, waiting to reassure me that everything would be okay.

  “Thank you,” I said sincerely, reaching out to give Antonio a hug.

  “I think you’re the only thing that boy loved more than my tacos,” he teased, hugging me back. “If there’s anything I can do, let me know. Think hard about the number on the lock. If he thinks you know it, then it must be in that pretty little head somewhere.”

  I flashed him a genuine smile and he led me out of the restaurant. I climbed back in my SUV trying to figure out a place to go. I ended up heading towards one of the smaller, less crowded beaches Sam and I used to frequent during the week. This early in the day I hoped I would have some solitude there.

  Sure enough, I pulled onto the side of the road where people parked for Hidden Beach. There was only one other car there, so I was thankful I would have some privacy. I made the short walk down the dirt path, carrying the metal box. I finally made it to the beach and opted to climb up some of the big boulders in the sand. The sun felt warm on my skin and I was thankful for the openness of this spot. I didn’t feel as cramped and afraid and alone as I did in my condo, yet I had the privacy I needed for this moment.

  I sat on top of one of the giant boulders with the metal box in my lap. What three numbers would Cole pick for his lock? More importantly, how would he expect me to know the number? I tried to recall the tattoos on his chest. I had seen them so many times, but I can’t say I memorized all of them. Usually my mind was elsewhere when he had his shirt off. One of the numbers I remembered was the date Harvey became his guardian… What was that, 413? I entered in those numbers, but the lock didn’t open. There was also the date of his motorcycle accident, but I couldn’t quite envision it. It started with an 8… I couldn’t recall the rest. What other date would’ve been important? Better yet, which one would he think I’m sure about? I rubbed the ring around my neck between my fingers, and finally it came to me.

  The day we met. Cole was sentimental about time, obviously, the way he marked his body with important dates the way he did. July 7th, could that be it? I moved the numbers on the lock until it read 707. The lock immediately popped open.

  I sucked in a breath, surprised that worked, but nervous to see what was inside. There was still a sizeable roll of money – I wasn’t sure how much it was, and I was too uncomfortable to count it here, but it looked like a lot. I was unsure why he wouldn’t have taken that with him, but then again, I wasn’t sure what had happened. I rummaged through the rest of the box. The brochures about the land and the realtor’s business card, those were still in there – but there was one thing I hadn’t noticed when he first showed me the box.

  I pulled out a ticket of some sort – San Diego Padres – was this a ticket for a baseball game? One ticket? I smiled as I held it in my hands. Maybe he really did like baseball more than I thought when we first met. I couldn’t stop beaming, thinking back to that first night at my house when he told me we’d already made it to third base. I loved his sense of humor immediately. That was one of the first things that drew me to him.

  I studied the ticket. September 9th, 7:00pm. Wait a minute, that hadn’t happened yet – it was only September 3rd today. I flipped the ticket over, noticing his handwriting on the back. You and me - and baseball. My mouth curled up into a smile. I rummaged through the rest of the box, and at the bottom, there was an envelope with my name on it. I quickly broke the seal and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

  Sydney – I know I’m probably not the guy you always imagined you would love. I’m not the prince your mom probably read you fairytales about when you were little, and I know I’m definitely not the kind of guy any father would choose for you. I have scars. I have flaws. I have an imperfect past that I completely regret. I know I may not be what you imagined for the rest of your life – but you are in every way the only girl I’ve ever really fallen for. Only you could love an imperfect man so perfectly. I’ve never seen goodness in anyone like I see it in you. It’s like your heart is on the outside where everyone can see it, whereas I’ve spent a lifetime hiding mine. But you’ve changed all that for me – I have nothing to hide from you.

  I imagine you’re hearing some unfavorable things about me now – but with you, I have no secrets. Maybe I’ve done what they say I’ve done, or maybe I haven’t – but either way you’ll have to decide what you do or don’t want to know – and whether that changes whether or not I’m worthy of the way you feel about me.

  All I know is from the moment I saw you until the last moment you walked away from me, I want no part of this world without you. So you have a choice to make. Maybe it’s selfish of me to ask this of you, I don’t know, but the choice is yours, Syd. If you want to live your life with me – if you want to spend our days laughing together in the sand, and our nights loving each other under the perfect night sky – then come and get me. There’s a ticket in here and everything you need. But if you have any regrets over loving me as I am, even a single hesitation – I’ll understand when I see the empty seat beside me and I’ll forever wish for you to have the exact kind of life you truly want and deserve. The money in the box – I don’t need it. It’s yours. You can use it to start your animal sanctuary, or use it for the therapy you’ll need after all I’ve put you through. Just know that I am grateful for every moment we had together, whether I get more, or if this is it. But I will forever be thankful for the day you rescued me – 707.

  Love,

  Cole

  I wiped all of the wet tears off my face, smiling and sobbing all at the same time. He somehow made me feel every emotion possible. There was a one way plane ticket enclosed with the envelope, and I had so much in my head. He was right – maybe he did something horrible, and maybe he didn’t. But ultimately did I want to know? Would it change my feelings about him?

  I strangely thought about Ian in that moment. When he talked about spending our life together, I hesitated – I panicked, unsure his life was right for me. It was big and meticulously planned, which should have sounded wonderful, but it was the life he wanted and I felt lost in that. I hesitated because I feared I was giving up myself just to be with him. With Cole though, it felt so different. I didn’t feel like I could even choose a life with him or without him – without him wasn’t an option in my brain.

  Sam pointed out once that the only two men who ever really loved me, they did it in such different ways – Ian was safe and cautious and he adored me. I knew that was true. But Cole, he loved me with such an unrelenting fierceness – like nothing circumstantial could ever change the way he felt about me – as if his feelings were an absolute truth that could never be rescinded or changed. That kind of love knew no hesitation. There was no turning back from it, or getting over it. Once it hit you, it set you on fire and that’s the only way you could ever be loved again. I knew with absolute certainty that no other man could ever love me the way he did.

  I knew exactly what I had to do in that moment. I pulled out my cell phone and called the airline’s number listed on the plane ticket – and cancelled the rese
rvation.

  CHAPTER 21

  Instead of driving back to my condo, I drove straight to the vet clinic. I knew I needed to talk to Dr. Nikki right away. My face was probably a swollen, puffy mess from all my tears over the last twelve hours, but I didn’t care.

  As soon as I walked in the clinic, Eva shot me a sympathetic glance. For once in all the time I knew her, she said nothing. I headed straight to the back, thankful to see Dr. Nikki washing up after having completed a surgery.

  “Give me just a minute,” she said warmly as soon as I walked by the operating room. I headed towards her office, sitting back down in one of those yellow chairs I occupied just yesterday afternoon.

  My head still felt a little cloudy with everything going on, but I felt like I at least had more clarity now than I had just an hour earlier. Finally Dr. Nikki made her way into the room, but instead of sitting behind her desk, she sat down in the chair right next to me and put a soft hand on my knee.

  “How are you holding up?” she asked sincerely.